Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1)

by Tamara White

  She focuses on cleaning up the mess she made of my arm. Colby has already cleaned up the blood that had spilled all over the floor when the vial was dropped. It’s just lucky the vial was plastic so it didn’t break.

  “Thank you. I’m finally starting to move on with the help of your son and my new mates back at school.”

  She nods kindly, her gaze lingering over the hand I placed protectively against my stomach. “Do you mind me asking how you know you can’t shift? Have you ever really tried?”

  I’m taken aback by her words. To be honest, now that she mentioned it, I never did try, even after I found out what I was. “Um, I never actually tried to shift. When I met my true mate, an Alpha himself, it was like my body changed. Everything became more heightened. I could run faster, move quicker and I became abnormally strong. By the time my parents explained to me what I was, I had already figured out how to Alpha command my true mate. And even though he tried to do the same thing to me, it was like the power inside me nullified his somehow. I’m not sure what other abilities I could have or whether or not I have the ability to shift. I never tried, because I guess deep down I’m a little worried if I accept that part of myself, I will go insane.”

  “What do you mean by ‘insane?’” She cocks her head curiously.

  “Well, you know how I’m a child of two Alphas? I was told part of the reason they gave me up was because they were worried I would go mad with power. And even if I didn’t, they knew I would never shift so the rest of the pack would pick on me for my weakness of being nothing more than human.”

  Sarah chuckles under her breath before releasing a full blown laugh into the room. She sets down the vials of blood in her hand and clutches at her stomach as she tries to get herself under control.

  I glance at Colby, wondering if just talking about going insane made his mother lose her damn mind.

  After a few moments, she finally regains her composure and smiles at me. “Sorry I lost it like that. It just never ceases to astound me the way ridiculous rumors spread among the supernaturals. Something happens one time, and bam! It must suddenly be true of everyone born that way.”

  I frown in confusion but she goes on to explain before I even have a chance to ask. “The children of two Alphas aren’t cursed to go insane, Katie. They are blessed. Yes, the majority of their life they are unable to shift, but there is a reason for that.

  “Power. You are already incredibly strong, but what do you think would happen if you shifted before your power reached its peak? If that happened, you could very well lose your mind like the stories say. But that’s dependant on the individual. The type of person you are shapes your wolf, as well as the amount of power and control you have. For example, if you have no control on your human life, why would you have control of your wolf?”

  What she says is making sense, but then why would my birth parents tell my adoptive parents that I might go insane? Did they really believe I was that unstable or did they just not know any better?

  “You are already so powerful, even without the ability to shift, Katie. Don’t let the idiocy of pack gossip drag you down. If I were you, I would seek out Ian and Lachlan. They can tell you more about children born of two Alphas than any of us could and they could even help you get a handle on the power you hold. They are the oldest wolves alive. Possibly even the oldest supernaturals altogether.”

  “And just how do I go about finding the two oldest supernaturals? Do they have a number I can call or do I need to send up smoke signals? No offense, Sarah, but I already have enough problems on my plate without having to chase after a couple of ancient werewolves.

  “I’m pregnant with what could quite possibly be a litter of pups, I have multiple mates, as well as a true mate who I haven’t seen in almost a year. There’s a man in my life I care about far more than I should considering he has a girlfriend, and on top of everything else, the anniversary of my parents’ and one of my mate’s deaths is coming up soon. I think I need to get through all that before adding any more to my plate.” My voice has risen in anger with each word until I am all but panting in my chair.

  Sarah has wisely stepped away from me at this point, but Colby moves to take her place in front of me. He reaches out and cups my cheek gently.

  “Right, I’ll just leave you two alone for a moment while I get everything set up for the scan. Hopefully afterwards, you’ll feel a bit better knowing just how many pups you’re carrying. Colby, you know which room it is. Take her in and get her set up once you’ve calmed her down. I can’t stay in here with the amount of power she’s pushing out.” With that, Sarah turns and leaves, taking my blood with her.

  I stare into Colby’s blue eyes, feeling like such a hormonal bitch right now, but everything is just getting to be too much. First with his kiss. Then his mother attacking me. And afterwards, her getting all weird and calling me a goddess. Now she wants me to find the two oldest supernaturals so I can get answers? Just no. Let me live my life and have this baby. And I really hope it’s just the one.

  “Talk to me, Katie. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.” The pleading tone in his voice has everything in me cracking.

  The first tear falls and he pulls me from the chair and into his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist and hold him tight as the sobs overtake me. Stupid hormones. That's all this is, just a bunch of hormones and a couple of really long days.

  When my sobs finally subside, he pulls away and sets me down on my feet. Then he reaches for a paper towel, wetting it at the sink in the corner of the room. He comes back over to me and wipes my face with the damp paper towel. While the action takes me by surprise, I have to admit it feels amazing.

  “I have to tell you something,” he says after a long moment, watching me carefully. “You’re going to be angry when I do, but I can’t keep this to myself any more.”

  Great, this is the part where he tells me we can’t be friends anymore. To be honest, though, I’m surprised it’s taken him this long, what with Emily and everything.

  He takes in a deep breath, as if he’s steadying himself. “You’re my true mate.”

  A laugh bubbles out my mouth, his joke doing its job to alleviate the stressful situation. “Ha, ha. Seriously, though, what did you want to tell me?”

  He gives me a look of frustration, and a slow growl works its way past his lips. “I wasn’t joking, Katie. The moment I saw you in the dorm, protecting Emily, I was so goddamn confused. The second I laid eyes on you, my wolf began to rage within me. He wanted out so damned badly. Hell, he would have attacked Kaden if it weren’t for the fact that he knew his true mate was in the room and needed to be kept safe. For a while, I thought it was Emily, since she and I had just met and the feelings were so new. But then I started to pay more attention to what my wolf was telling me and realized that that wasn’t the case at all.”

  He reaches up and cups my cheek gently like I’m made of glass, his eyes locked on my lips.

  “What was your wolf telling you?” I breathe out, my heart beating rapidly. Can it really be true? Could he actually be mine after all? Is it even possible to have more than one true mate?

  Colby grins mischievously, his blue eyes sparkling. “He told me to take you, protect you and claim you as ours.”

  But he hasn’t done any of those things. That’s when it occurs to me and my heart breaks. Emily.

  I shake my head sadly and stumble back a step. “You already have a mate, Colby. You told me she was upset when you found your true mate. I don’t want you to be unhappy and I know that you like her. I already have too many people on my plate as it is. You deserve a girl who loves only you.” Even if she is a witch, but I leave that part unsaid.

  “No.”

  I frown in confusion. “No? What do you mean no?” At this point, my voice is shrill with panic. What if he denies Emily in favor of being with me? No, I can’t think like that.

  “I don’t know how I got everything so wrong, but I know now that Emily isn’t my
mate. Before I came to pick you up, I told her I revoked my claim on her. She is now free to do whatever she wants. I only want you.”

  Then, before I can say anything, his lips are on mine, claiming me with urgency. He grabs my ass and lifts me until my legs are wrapped around his waist. Then he walks me back until my back hits the wall behind me. The strength behind it should have hurt, but all it does is turn me on more. We kiss with a desperate passion like it will be our last time. As much as I would love to take this further, I need to come to grips with what's happening first.

  I go to pull away, but Colby just shifts slightly and begins kissing my cheek and along my jaw. Then he nibbles at my neck, making a moan slip free. I struggle against the wave of arousal riding me, demanding that I take him and claim him as mine. “Colby, please. We need to stop.”

  “Why?” he murmurs against my neck, sucking the skin gently into his mouth and I swear, I almost orgasm right there.

  I groan and use my strength to push him back. I land a couple of feet back, my legs feeling a little shaky. “We have to stop because for one thing, this is your mother’s office. And also, this is not at all why we came here, remember? But the third and most important reason is that I don’t want to rush this.

  “I want you to take some time to think it through, and decide if this is what you really want. If you get involved, Colby, it won’t just be me, but Kaden, Alex, Bas and this little baby too. I need to be sure you’re ready for that before anything happens between us that we can’t undo.”

  He sighs heavily and runs his hands through his hair, ruffling it up worse than I did when my hands were gripping him. “Fuck, I hate that you’re right, but you are. We are here to see how that little baby is doing.

  “But you’re wrong about me needing to take some time, Katie. I’ve been agonizing over this decision for days, since I first met you if I’m going to be honest. I want you more than anything and I will raise that baby, or babies, with you as if they were my own. I know I will have to share you, and it’s not just them I’m sharing you with. You still love Seth and Drew, and that's something I would expect from someone whose heart is as big as yours. But no matter who else is in your life, I will always be there. Whether you want me as your true mate, or if you only want friendship or someone to protect you in times of need, I’ll be there. I won’t ever leave you, not unless death takes me. And even then, I will fight like fucking hell to get back to you. You are the light at the end of the tunnel, the happiness in my pain, the rainbow after the fucking storm. But most of all, you are mine.”

  Colby’s words rattle around in my head, making me question everything. I know I had felt a connection to him straight away, but I thought it stemmed from a desire to protect his pack, to help them.

  But hearing his declaration opened my eyes. Unfortunately, it also stirred to life my anxiety about his relationship and I know I have to talk to him about Emily, and what we suspect. Especially if he’s ended things with her. There’s no telling what she might do now.

  Colby is sitting so close to me that I can see each of the light blue flecks in his eyes. But rather than say anything, I instead press my lips to his.

  His blue eyes close with relief and he kisses me back with just as much passion. When I pull away, he lets me go with a small sigh. “You have no idea how much it has killed me to hold back from doing that each and every time I saw you. I’d see you brush your braid to the side, the claim marks shining, and my whole body would react. You are like a drug to me and now that I’ve had a taste, I don’t think I’ll ever to be able to stop.”

  I smirk at that and raise an eyebrow at him. The way he refers to me as an addiction he just can’t get enough of sends a thrill of pleasure through me. Being wanted like this, and not just by one man, but four, is a drug all on its own.

  “You can taste me anytime you like, Colby. I certainly won’t stop you. But there are some things we need to talk about when we get back to the pack. And while I didn’t want to keep this from you, I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to see me afterwards,” I admit sadly, worried he’ll be angry that we’ve kept this from him.

  “Whatever it is, there is no way I will ever want to be apart from you. I already have and it’s been absolute torture.” He kisses my forehead tenderly. “Anyway, let’s not worry about that right now. It’s time to go have a look at that little baby in here,” he murmurs, his hand reaching down to brush my stomach reverently.

  He lets go of my hand, climbing to his feet. Then he takes hold of both my hands to help pull me up out of the chair. With my hand in his, he leads me out the door, and down another narrow hall.

  Just how big is this place? I don’t think I expected there to be so many rooms, especially since the outside gives the facility the appearance of being much smaller. But this is like its own mini hospital, minus the clinical white walls, bright lights and strong scent of ammonia.

  Instead, the walls are a soft brown, and the ceiling is a calming beige. Even the lights are softer, which leads me to wonder if this place was built with the paranormal world in mind? Most lighting can be particularly harsh for my eyes so I can just imagine what it’s like for other supernaturals. Huh, now that I think about it, even the lighting on campus is softer than what humans usually use.

  When we reach the door at the end of the hall, Colby opens it to reveal an exam room with pale blue walls. When he pulls me inside, I see his mother, moving around near a sonogram machine, preparing everything.

  At our entrance, she looks over at me with a practiced smile. “Katie, excellent. I forgot to ask you about the time of conception. How long ago was it that you were with your mate?”

  “Two weeks,” I say, fighting the flush that rushes up my neck.

  I glance at Colby, but he just winks at me, seeming unaffected by the subject. Thank God for that. Everything is going well so far between me and the guys. I just know they will accept Colby as one of my mates, in part because something tells me they all suspected this would happen sooner or later anyway.

  I feel stupid for not analyzing the attraction I felt for him sooner, but I didn't want to encroach on his relationship with Emily, who was already having trouble dealing. And to think she might have been playing us this whole time… well, that really does piss me off. If she does turn out to be a witch, I may actually enjoy getting my hands on her.

  Sarah smiles kindly at me and gestures to the bed beside the machine. “If you want to hop up here, I’ll have you unbutton your jeans and roll your shirt up. Then we can get started.”

  I do as she requested, and Colby remains by my side the whole time. I think he can sense my anxiety and I’m grateful for his presence.

  “It will be fine,” he murmurs next to my ear, his lips brushing my cheek softly.

  His mother steps closer, holding the ultrasound wand and squirting some jelly on it. “Now, I want you to relax, Katie. If you were human, we’d be doing this scan internally at this point in the pregnancy, but since you’re not, an external scan should be fine.

  “As I’m sure you’re aware, shifter pregnancies are much different than human ones,” she rattles on as she presses the wand to my lower stomach. “You may have had sex only two weeks ago, but the fetus or fetuses within you could be as developed as a human fetus that’s six to twelve weeks along. Based on your power level, I would assume the development would match that of a human pregnancy that’s at least twelve weeks along. But if that were the case, you would have already started to show and your scent would have enhanced beyond what it is right now. The fact that neither of these things has happened has me a little stumped and nervous about what we may find. Please, just don’t overreact to anything I say or do during the scan. I promise to either explain everything as I go, or I’ll explain fully when I’m done and have all the facts.”

  I nod my head nervously, but Colby cuts in. “Make sure you’re honest, Mother. I watched you for many years and know exactly what you’re looking for. I also know that you’re
not above deceiving another Alpha if it would gain you power over them.”

  She glares at Colby, her back straightening as if offended he would say such a thing, but then quickly drops her act with a defeated sigh. “You’re right. I will be completely up front with what I find.” With that, she places the wand just under my belly button and begins moving it slowly. My body is stiff with tension, worried she’s going to tell me there is a litter of a hundred pups in my belly. Not that I really think that’s even possible, but it seems my mind has gone to a worst-case scenario place.

  Sarah moves the wand around and I finally decide to close my eyes, unable to keep looking at a blank screen. My heart is breaking because I know she should have seen something by now, but from what I saw, it’s like there is nothing in my uterus.

  “Katie, open your eyes,” Colby whispers after a long moment, his voice filled with such awe.

  My heart rate picks up and I nervously open my eyes. I look first to Sarah, who is smiling at me with an expression akin to amazement. When my gaze goes to the screen, I gasp when see the clear outline of a baby’s head. “Is it okay?” I breathe out, my body still filled with tension.

  Sarah chuckles and presses a few buttons. Suddenly, the ‘whomp whomp whomp’ sound of a baby’s heartbeat fills the room. But something sounds off. Shortly after each beat, there’s another one echoing it.

  My eyes widen and Sarah grins at me. “Yes, both your babies are okay. Remarkably so actually. I’ve looked them over, and as far as I can tell there are only the two. But…”

  She trails off, her gaze fixed on something on the screen and my heart begins to seize. She moves the wand, and I see a thick black shadow on the screen. “You are very different from any other woman I’ve ever scanned, Katie. If I had to guess, I would say this is some kind of magical barrier inside you that’s protecting your children. I’ve never seen anything like it before, but I’m guessing this is the reason it took me so long to see them.

  “It seems as if your children might have some kind of control over it because when you started to panic, the barrier came down. Like they knew you needed to see them. It’s quite fascinating really. It’s as if they have a direct link to your thoughts or emotions. If I had to take a stab in the dark, based on what I see and what you’ve told me, I’d say there is much more to you than even you know.”