Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1)

by Tamara White

  "He’s not going to be upset about me mating with two of his wolves and getting pregnant, is he?"

  Colby shakes his head no, but Bas looks away from me, staring out the window. His next words are mumbled, but I still manage to hear him. "God, I hope not."

  Well, that doesn't inspire much confidence. I turn my attention out the window, wondering what the hell I’m going to do if the Alpha rejects my request to be part of his pack.

  Before long, the drive is over and we've arrived back at the fraternity house. The other guys pull in behind us and Kaden and Alex rush out and are at my door in seconds. Did they even turn the car off?

  With their help, I climb out of the car, giving Colby and Bas a glance to encourage them to go ahead of us. They both seem to understand because they walk over to Dwayne and Kyle and lead them to the front door. But that’s as far as they seem willing to go, because none of them head inside. Well, I guess this is as much privacy as we’re going to get.

  I give my full attention to the two men I recently became mated to, and whose babies I carry. “Kaden, Alex, there's something I have to tell you."

  Alex expression is wary as he asks, "What is it, Katie? Are there more males out there we need to know about?" If it wasn't for his teasing tone, I would think he's being serious.

  My heart begins racing and I feel bile rise up my throat as the butterflies pound in my stomach. I look to Kaden, waiting for him to say something, but he just stands there, all stoic and silent.

  "So the reason I went to visit Colby's mom wasn’t because of some human bug. There's actually something a little more serious going on..." I trail off at the looks of worry and anger that flash in their eyes. Worry because they don't know what is wrong with me, and anger because I held back the truth.

  Shit, this is hard.

  I let out a deep breath and begin to sway on my feet. Kaden's arms go around my waist to steady me and I offer him a shaky smile. "So, you know that night when we... well, you know?" They both grin, their expressions full of masculine prowess and I have to fight from rolling my eyes. Men and their dicks. "Well, I was still in my heat and well, you two must have super swimmers or something, because despite the fact I was on birth control... I'm pregnant."

  Kaden's arm stiffens around me and my heart stops in fear. He's angry. He has to be.

  But before I can lift my gaze to his to confirm this, my feet are suddenly off the ground and I'm being swung around while Kaden's laugh fills the air.

  After a moment, he stops and puts me back on my feet. He gazes at me, his eyes bright with happiness, then claims my lips in a hungry kiss. "That is the best news I have heard in ages. Is everything okay with the baby? Do you know how far along you are? What about the sex, or is it too early?" He fires off question after question, without giving me time to answer any of them.

  Then Alex is there, his expression filled with joy as he snatches me from Kaden's arms and pulls me into a bear hug. He inhales my scent, and I realize he must be trying to scent the change in me, but it must still be hard to distinguish because he pulls away with a look of confusion. "You don't smell pregnant, though. Why is that?"

  I shrug my shoulders, looking up at him with a small smile. "I don't know, Alex. By all accounts my scent should have changed more, especially with how far along I am, but it seems to have only gotten ever so slightly sweeter."

  Kaden steps closer to us, but Alex doesn't let go of me. Kaden's gray eyes look me over, lingering on my stomach for a long moment as if he could see within me. "How far along are you?"

  "About twelve to fourteen weeks in human terms, according to Colby’s mom, Sarah. Alex, can you let go of me for a minute? I want to show you the picture she printed out for me," I explain.

  He lets his arms drop and I reach for the picture I've kept in my back pocket. When I pull it out, both guys have moved even closer to look at it with me. I glance at the two of them, smiling at the sight of their gazes fixed on the grainy images of the two babies resting inside me.

  “Is that..." Kaden clears his throat, emotion overwhelming him. “Are there two of them?"

  "Yeah, apparently you guys knocked me up with twins on the first try," I tease, happiness overwhelming me. They both seem to be in awe of the little lives we've created and neither of them can stop staring at the picture in my hands.

  I lift my head and look over at the guys still standing just outside the door, who are all watching with massive grins on their faces.

  I flash them a wide smile of my own in return. This is what family feels like, this moment right here. Knowing that each one of these men would do anything to protect my children, even if they aren’t biologically the father.

  I'm about to invite the other four to come closer, seeing as they all obviously heard everything anyway. But before I can move, I see Colby’s gaze shift to something behind me and a sick looking expression takes over his face. Bas, Kyle and Dwayne all pale, but no one moves.

  A sudden pain in my heart has me reaching up to rub my chest, the action stirring Kaden and Alex out of their amazed stares.

  Before either of them can speak, a voice sounds from behind us that has my blood turning cold. "Well, I guess congratulations are in order."

  I know who it is even before I turn, and have to fight the urge to lunge at him. I take deep breaths, trying to keep myself calm, but it’s a losing battle. I never thought I would see him again, at least not until I was ready to invite him back into my life. So for him to just show up announced? Well, that just pisses me off.

  "What are you doing here, Drew?" I ask, proud that I was able to keep my voice empty of emotion, despite the fierce anger boiling inside me.

  He chuckles softly and takes a step closer, positioning himself between the three of us and the house. Bas and Colby go to take step towards me, but then Bas suddenly freezes. Colby, however, doesn't even pause, approaching Drew like predator who’s about to attack. "Alpha, please, I beg of you, don't do this now."

  Alpha?

  My gaze flicks to Colby and Drew in confusion. Then I turn to Bas, focusing on the fact that he can’t seem to move. Only an Alpha could stop him like that, and only his own Alpha.

  Motherfucking son of a bitch!

  I take a step backwards, forcing Kaden and Alex to let go of me. Kaden tries to hold on, but I use my new magic to push him away. He goes stumbling as Drew takes a step closer to me, a small growl slipping from his mouth.

  "Calm down, Katie."

  I laugh hysterically as I stare incredulously at the man I love. The one who fucked up my life and is apparently still playing with it like he’s a puppeteer and I’m a damn marionette.

  "Calm down?! You want me to calm down, Drew? How the fuck am I supposed to do that when I find out the people I had started to love, and the one person I still love, all betrayed me so deeply?! The only way I will be calm is over my dead fucking body!" I scream at him, tears welling in my eyes.

  How the fuck do I still love this bastard?! Why do I keep letting him hurt and manipulate me like this?

  Rage wells in my heart as I look at the men I had started to consider family. They knew who Drew was to me, but they still chose to keep his secret.

  It's time they all learn who the fuck they just pissed off. I'm no longer a wolf who can't shift. I'm the reincarnated Goddess of Love, and if there's one thing they will learn tonight, it’s that you don't piss off a goddess.

  Drew takes another step closer, his eyes filled with pain as he watches my tears fall. "Katie, please just give me a chance to explain. You owe me that at least," he begs.

  That’s when I snap. "I owe you?" I stride right up to him and Colby hurriedly moves away, fear in his eyes. When I reach Drew, I stare up into his hazel eyes, my expression hard. Then I punch him square in the jaw, the full power of my magic behind the blow.

  He goes flying across the yard, hitting the side of the house with a resounding thud. Drew gets to his feet with only a slight wobble. I glare at him and let out everything that
has been building for years.

  "I fucking needed you! I loved you, but you made my life hell because I loved Seth just as much. You were so fucking self righteous! All I wanted was to love you both. But you were the one who made me choose, and I knew I couldn't be with someone who didn't give a damn about how I felt!"

  The tortured expression on his face makes me feel nothing. After all, he had years to fucking fix his mistake. "After you left, Seth always felt like he was living in your shadow and as much as I hate to admit it, he was right. I loved you so completely. I wanted to be with you, but I didn't want to lose Seth either. But because of the love I had for you, I always held back with Seth. Then he died." I choke on a sob as my sorrow overwhelms me.

  "He died, Drew, and I needed you. I needed my friend, my mate to help me through the pain. I needed you to help me survive. But no, you saw your own brother’s death as a way to finally get me for yourself. You made a mockery of my heat cycles instead of offering me the comfort that I needed, gloating that I would need to seek you out because I couldn’t make it through them on my own. I couldn't even call you when I fell pregnant because I knew you would pull some shit, but you've really gone above and beyond this time. You've completely broken me. Are you happy now?"

  I drop to my knees, an audible sob escaping me. All of the men, apart from Drew, move towards me, but my gaze snaps up at them angrily.

  "Don't." The Alpha command that flows through me is that of a goddess, not a mere wolf. I get to my feet, refusing to wipe away the tears that have fallen. "All of you lost the right to touch me when you decided to conceal the truth of who your Alpha is. I told you all so much about me, so much about my past. Things I never told anyone. I gave you everything, but in return you all lied." I hiss out, watching as each of them lower their heads in shame.

  Kaden is the only one brave enough to speak. "We didn't want to hurt you.” His voice is barely a whisper, but I still hear the words clear as day.

  "You may say that, but you hurt me more than you could possibly imagine. You all knew how things went between me and Drew, but you didn't think to tell me he was your Alpha? Don’t you see how much that hurts me? How am I supposed to trust any of you again after this? You all lied to me."

  With that, I turn and start walking away from the frat house, and away from all of them. But I don’t make it far before I hear Colby call out, making me pause. "Please Katie, you can't be alone right now. Don't leave just because you’re angry. You and the babies need us."

  I throw him a cold smile over my shoulder. "That's where you're wrong. I can protect myself just fine. I only let you offer me protection because I knew your wolves needed it. But now, given everything that’s happened, I think I’ll be fine if I never see any of you again."

  "You're carrying our children. Pack children." Alex's statement, while true, is the absolute worst thing he could have said given how angry I’m feeling right now. I can tell he realizes his mistake the moment my furious gaze cuts to him.

  "No, I am carrying my children. If this is what pack life is, full of lies and betrayal, then my children will never know this life. I will do everything in my power to keep them safe, even if that means they never meet their fathers."

  Without waiting for a response, I turn back towards the road we came in on and start running. I pull on my wolf speed, running faster than I ever have and don't stop until I reach the woods on the outer edge of town.

  Tears streak down my face as I continue to run. Even though I hated saying all that, I meant every word. I won't raise my children in some sick dynamic where my mates think it is okay to lie to me.

  Yes, I didn’t tell them about the babies right away, but that was only because I was struggling to comes to term with it myself. I mean, how many women can say that a one-night stand resulted in a baby, let alone two?

  I slow my pace and inhale deeply, smelling the trees as I walk among them. As I make my way deeper into the woods, it becomes too dark for me to see. I let my magic gather in my hands so I can light my way.

  Once I reach the middle of the dark forest, I search for the largest tree I can find. It’s an old oak and I climb the branches to find a spot comfortable enough for me to sit. Seth and I used to go out into the woods behind my house and just sit in the trees, talking about life, about what we wanted to do after college and where we wanted to go. Everything and nothing. That was how we bonded, and right now, I wish more than ever that he hadn't died and that I could talk to him again. I used to believe everything in life happened for a reason, but what possible reason could there have been for his death?

  I let myself sink into my pain as I sit there, firmly wedged between the tree trunk and branch. I cry for everything, for Seth's death, for the love I still feel for Drew, and the love I feel for my new mates and family. But most of all, I cry for my babies. They will only know my love and that is something I never wanted for them. I wanted them to grow up happy, carefree and to be loved by all the pack. I had thought for a time that maybe, just maybe that was a real possibility. Until Drew showed up, that is.

  I don't know how long I sat on that branch for before that familiar pain in my heart registers. I look around, wondering how on earth he managed to find me. Sure enough, a moment later, his wolf steps out through some trees, walking directly towards my hiding place.

  "Really? I tell you all to leave me alone so you think, ‘Oh, I'll follow Katie into the woods in my wolf form?' Seriously, Drew?" I jump down from my branch and straighten, glaring down at his wolf. "Just because you're in your wolf form doesn't mean I won't kick your ass."

  He approaches me slowly and I surprise us both by dropping to my knees before him and burying my head in the fur of his neck. "Just because you're a pretty damn wolf doesn't mean I forgive you. I love you. Always have. I just finally thought I was able to move on, to find happiness with my new mates and then bam! You enter my life again and make me question everything I thought to be true." Tears begin to fall again, but I keep going, needing to get it out. "I am begging you, Drew, please just leave. Let me be happy."

  I feel the shiver of his fur that tells me he's shifting forms. I scurry back and watch as he changes. Now, where his wolf was just sitting, there is a very naked Drew in its place.

  "Katie, I need you to sit here and listen to what I have to say. There's a reason I left back then, a reason I made you choose and a reason I stayed away. I need to explain, because only then will you understand everything and why the guys didn't tell you about me."

  I sigh heavily and move back to lean against the tree. Drew sits his naked ass down on the moss covered forest floor, crossing his legs. When he looks at me, there’s so much pain in his eyes, and I almost feel for him. "When I made you choose between Seth and I, the two of us got into a huge fight after. My brother was pissed at how much I hurt you and told me that if I ever came near you again, he would kill me."

  My eyes widen in surprise at that. Seth was the biggest softie in the world. He could barely stomach the thought of me killing a bug, let alone hunting his own food in wolf form, so for him to threaten to kill his brother seems very out of character.

  "When he said that, I realized there was something wrong with me. I loved you. Still do, but every time I saw you with Seth, this intense wave of jealousy would overwhelm me. But then whenever you and I were alone, everything was normal again. I couldn’t figure out what was making me act that way, I mean, I’ve never wanted to hurt my brother and I certainly never wanted to hurt you.

  “So after I left you with Seth, I decided to ask around, to see if there were any witches or other magical creatures in your town, ones who would be capable of casting such a curse on me. But what I found? Well, let’s just say I was very surprised.

  “After that, I set out, trying to find someone who could break the curse. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any luck. Seth, however, had once been friends with a high priestess, who are capable of breaking all curses. When I came back to town the night of his death, it was to a
sk for his help seeking out the high priestess, and to try and mend things with you."

  I lean forward, my heart beating erratically at his words. If a witch had really cursed him to make him act out like that, it would explain a lot. "I always wondered if there was some kind of trigger that made you act that way. One day, you would be fine, but then the next, it was like I was with a different man entirely.

  “But if you wanted to fix things, especially after you learned you were cursed, why didn’t you say anything to me? Instead, you made me feel like I meant nothing to you.”

  Drew sighs sadly, his gaze dropping to the ground as he takes a few calming breaths. "Because when Seth gave his life for yours, he told me to protect you from the witch who threw the deer in front of the car. But since I had no idea who that was, I decided to watch you from afar and hope whoever it was would slip up somehow. Whoever killed Seth and your parents was the same person who cursed me, Katie, but they aren’t just a witch. There is some old magic that surrounds them, concealing them from the priests I visited with. All I could find out for certain is that someone out there knows who you are, what you are, and for some reason they don't want you to live."

  "So, Seth and my parents were killed because I was supposed to die that night?” I look at Drew with tear-filled eyes, but he just nods solemnly, unwilling to hide the truth. That was one thing I always loved about Drew. No matter how brutal, he would never conceal the harshness of life from me.

  "Well that's just fucking great news," I say miserably, refusing to look at him. He must absolutely hate me. After all, his brother is dead because of me.

  "Don't even think about it, Katie!" he growls and then his hand is suddenly there, tilting my chin up and forcing me to look up into his hazel eyes, which are filled with a fierceness I missed. "I know you are going to try and sink into a pit of despair, but don't you dare blame yourself for their deaths. If you want to blame anyone, you blame the witch who spelled me. She’s the one who caused the crash and took your parents from you. She’s the one who took Seth from us!”