“After discussing the situation with Kimba”—she circled him like a predator getting ready to attack its prey—“I’ve decided to send you to the prison colony to serve as guard for a term.”
He groaned, unable to stop the reaction. “You can’t.” Rubbing his finger along his brow ridge, he willed the pounding to stop. “Delta squad is just starting to work together. We’ve actually achieved over 80 percent in every simulation we’ve run.” And he’d finally let someone into his life. Even if she was the reason he was in this situation.
“I should have stopped that experiment long ago.” She picked up her com tab from her desk. “You obviously weren’t equipped to lead them, and it took your abandoning them and another leader taking them under his wing before they finally worked together. You don’t get credit for that.”
While anger boiled up inside him, a heavy weight fell into the pit of his stomach. Just when he thought he’d gotten his life together, it was all about to be taken away from him.
Granil tapped away at her com tab. “As soon as Echo squad returns from Terra with the girl, we will depart for the Holtador system and drop you off. Four Galactic years later, if you haven’t lost your sanity, you can return to the Defenders and join an already functioning squad.”
After losing everything else.
Jager left the office before she could knock him down anymore. He considered returning to the lounge to spend as much time with Katrina as possible before he had to leave her. Yet, he passed the lift, heading instead to the simulation room. He couldn’t face her, break her heart as he’d promised Jace he would never do.
***
Katrina wiped her mouth with a cloth, confident she was ready to leave the toilet behind. Every day since Jace had left, she woke up feeling fine, put in a hard day of training with her squad then felt nauseous as soon as they finished. Each day worse than the last. She hadn’t even made it back to her room this time, running for the facilities right outside the simulation room.
“You okay, Princess?” Aram asked from the doorway. Though the nickname had stuck, it did not come with the same derogatory tone. “Need to go to the med bay?”
“Yeah, maybe.” Then the Warwa doctors could tell her she was dying of some Terran disease. They’d send her to Hemera to live her final days with her family, and she’d see the end of her horrible last five weeks. She pushed off the ground and accepted the Gersonian’s help toward a separate part of the carrier. She’d already spent much time there with her mother during the queen’s recovery from an Erebus attack when they’d first returned to Hemera.
Aram held Katrina’s arm across her shoulders and shuffled her along. “So, what do you think of our new squad leader?”
“She’s...intense.” The only word she could use to describe Carpathia. Katrina had only been a Defender for a couple of Galactic years, but she’d never known a Yarwin to act as a lowly squad leader. Their kind usually controlled the Alliance or held dignitary positions within it. The new leader didn’t give them pointers the way Jager did, rather expecting perfection each and every time. If the simulation wasn’t run flawlessly, they’d have to run it again and again until a perfect score was achieved.
“Intense, yeah, whatever that means.” Aram pressed her palm to the scanner at the med bay doors. “Sometimes your Terran words make me laugh. But regardless, I miss Jager. I heard he got into trouble for something that happened on the Terra mission.”
She’d heard the same thing, but every time she’d tried to talk to him since he’d been called into Granil’s office, he’d ignored her calls, passed her without acknowledging her presence, or even made his door slide closed in her face. The past week, she hadn’t seen him at all. Whatever he was in trouble for was her fault. And he refused to talk to her about it. After the rumors started spreading about why he’d had his squad taken away, Katrina had tried to get an appointment to talk to Granil, to take all the blame for what happened on Earth. But the leader refused to see her and posted a guard outside her door so Katrina couldn’t walk in the way she had with Kimba when her father was missing.
“Defender Aram of the Gersonians,” a robotic female voice said through the intercom built into the scanner. “What brings you to the med bay?”
Her squad mate stepped forward. “I am bringing in Defender Katrina of the Hemera and Kalaren. She has been ill for many days now, and I finally convinced her to get her ass down here.” Aram grinned at her. “Did I use the word ‘ass’ correctly.”
Unable to hold a laugh in, Katrina shook her head. “Yes, you did. Maybe one day you’ll fit right in on Earth.”
The Gersonian hunched her back even more, making her spikes extend further out. “You try to be funny, but you’re not.”
The pressurized doors slid open, and the same two Warwa doctors who’d administered the blood transfusion from her to her mother stood there, a funky-looking wheelchair between them. The male Warwa stepped forward. “Thank you, Defender Aram. We will take her from here.”
After sinking into the chair, Katrina waved behind to her squad mate as she was wheeled down the hall. The doctors settled her into a room then ran a battery of tests on her, poking, prodding, and extracting several vials of blood. Then they stuck nodules to her chest and head to evaluate her heart and brain functions. When they finally left to analyze the results, tears flooded Katrina’s cheeks. Since joining the Defenders, she’d never wanted to leave. Until now. No matter how hard she tried, she’d never belong. Even with her squad’s sudden unity, Katrina no longer carried the enthusiasm for the position she used to. Not after such a horrible few weeks.
She lowered the lever to dim the room lights then closed her eyes. Would she actually be able to get some sleep in the med bay rather than tossing and turning in her own bed? She’d always slept alone on the carrier. Yet now, it felt strange. She longed for Jager’s warm arms around her, holding her close, and his sweet whispered words.
The door to her med room whooshed open, and the lights came on full force. Katrina slowly opened her eyes, trying to adjust to the sudden change in brightness. She saw a figure standing above her, but it took several seconds for him to come into view.
“What’s the matter?” he asked. “I came as soon as I heard.”
She set her hand on Jace’s arm. “You’re back? How did the mission go?”
“It was a success.” His brows knitted. “But that doesn’t matter. What’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t know.” She pressed a button to raise the top half of the bed then wiped the dried tears from her cheeks. “They did a bunch of tests but haven’t told me the results yet.”
“We have them now.” The female Warwa doctor came inside and set her com tab on the counter. “It’s nothing like we suspected.”
Katrina squeezed Jace’s hand. “Great. I caught something from the planet I grew up on, and now I’m going to die.”
The doctor’s eyes widened, a small smile on her lips. “That’s not it at all. You’re perfectly healthy.”
Confused, Katrina glanced back and forth between her friend and the doctor. No, that wasn’t possible. “If I’m healthy, then why am I sick all the time after training?”
The Warwa’s smile grew bigger. “Because you’re pregnant.”
Blood rushed from Katrina’s face, her body feeling heavy in the bed. “No.”
“Yes.” The doctor cast the results of the test from her com tab to the larger screen in the room. “You’re still in the early stages where we can terminate if you choose.”
“No.” Why would she do such a thing? Unless there was some other concern. “There’s nothing wrong with it, is there?”
The doctor shook her head. “No, but if you carry this child, you must take leave from the Defenders. It is Alliance policy to ensure healthy children are born across Alliance territory, especially when at least one parent is a Defender. Or, in this case, both parents.”
Katrina looked up at Jace then to the doctor. “Oh, he’s not the fath
er.”
The doctor patted her arm. “I know. We already know who the father is as well. It says on the screen. What a tragic situation. Yet, he is a Kalaren. Except for your father, Kalaren men never stick around.”
“What do you mean?” Had something happened to Jager she didn’t know about?
“Wait.” Jace pointed to the screen. “Can you send a copy of that report to my wrist com?”
With pursed lips, the Warwa crossed her arms. “Only if my patient grants permission.”
Jace stared at her with eyebrows raised. “Well?”
“Sure.” She shrugged. Jace having her pregnancy report wouldn’t make any difference. “He’s the closest thing to family I have here, so why not?”
As soon as his wrist unit pinged with the incoming message, Jace kissed her forehead. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll return soon. Don’t worry about a thing.” Then he left the room, the doctor right behind him.
Worry? What was she supposed to worry about? Aside from finally knowing the cause of her incessant vomiting, she had no idea what was going on. She stared at the screen, Jager’s name listed as the father. How had they figured that out with her just a few weeks pregnant? On Earth, a paternity test couldn’t be done until the child was born. Though, she had no doubt. He was the only option.
But they might as well leave the space blank, Jager’s thoughts of her were very clear from their last encounter. He’d gone from wanting a monogamous relationship with her to slamming the door in her face. Why? She shook her head. It no longer mattered. He obviously wasn’t going to be part of her or her child’s life. She’d been raised without her father around and turned out fine. Or whatever. She could raise this child without him.
Activating her wrist com, she scrolled through her contacts to find another person who was mad at her, but at the same time would be the most understanding. She pressed the button and waited for the person to come on screen.
She was met with a neutral look, the person likely unsure what to expect from her.
“Hi, Mom,” Katrina said, trying to hold off more tears. “I want to come home.”
Chapter Ten
Jager pulled the blanket over his head, trying to ignore the constant pings on his com unit and knocks on his door. He no longer had a squad to lead, so he didn’t have to answer to any of them, and if there was an emergency on the ship? Well, he’d rather die in a fiery explosion than be sent to the prison colony. Nightmares had plagued his sleep since his verdict, dreams of his entire squad dying while on a mission, of Katrina being tortured while he had to watch from a distant planet. Countless times each day, he’d wished Bryce had left him to die rather than saving him, let the Erebus rip him apart, as they’d been in the middle of doing when Echo squad came to his rescue. But would being sent away hurt so much if he didn’t have feelings for the man’s daughter? He couldn’t face her, couldn’t even think about her without a big ball of agony gathering in his chest and making it difficult to breathe.
She was better off without him anyway. He couldn’t make his own squad work and wouldn’t be around for several Galactic years. By the time he returned, she’d be a captain and wouldn’t want anything to do with a reinstated Defender who’d served in the Holtador system.
“Emergency override,” a digital voice said. “Defender Jace of the Mingot is entering the room.”
Wonderful. Like he needed that guy’s wrath to make him feel even more guilty. “Get out. I don’t want company.” Especially his.
“That’s obvious from your stench. I’m certainly glad I don’t have a room beside you.” He yanked the bed covers off, but Jager remained on his stomach. Nothing Jace could say would change his future. With Jager’s luck, he’d likely return to find the two of them finally together.
Something cold and wet splashed on the back of Jager’s head. He jumped up, smacking his head on the storage compartment above his bed. “Fornax, Jace. What in Gaspra do you want?”
“I want you to get your ass out of bed and stop throwing this pity party for yourself.” Jace tossed a towel at him. “Clean up and go to see Katrina. She’s in the med bay because of you.”
“No, you’re wrong. I haven’t seen her in two weeks. I didn’t do anything to her. I know I told you what I wanted with her, but I can’t pursue that. Not after what happened.” They were simply not meant to be together.
Jace clenched the front of Jager’s civilian shirt, his Defender uniform no longer in his possession. “Getting sent to the prison colony for four Galactic years is the least of your worries.” He let go then planted his com tab in Jager’s face. “Look.”
“Pregnant?” Jager shoved the device aside. “I don’t see how someone being pregnant has anything to do with Katrina. Or me.” He’d never have that chance with her. Someday he’d likely have to see her happy with someone else. Only he wouldn’t be a part of that family. Or any family. The one thing he’d always wanted.
Jace cuffed the side of his head. “Are you blind or something? Do you not know how to read? Katrina’s the one who’s pregnant. And you’re the father.”
“Impossible.” He grabbed the com tab from Jace and read the report on screen. “We only... once... Oh Cosmos, what have I done?” He gripped the edge of his bed, his head spinning. His heart hammered against his ribs, and he struggled to breath. “She...I can’t.... No, this is impossible.”
“Oh, it’s possible.” Jace slapped him on the back. “Congratulations. You’re going to be a father.”
A father? His muscles stiffened. “She’s going to keep it? I thought, with her being a Defender.... I didn’t expect....” He couldn’t finish his thoughts, so many churning in his mind none of them formed anything comprehensible.
“Yeah, it seems she’d rather take time off to have your baby than remain a Defender.” Crossing his arms, Jace leaned against the door frame. “Though, I’m not sure why because she runs the risk of it being ugly like you.”
“You wanna talk about ugly?” Jager rose from the bed. “You with your...hair. I mean, what Mingot has hair?”
“Hair? That’s the best you can do?” Jace held his hands up. “Okay, okay. Quit being an asshole and get your ugly self to the med bay to see her. She needs you more than me right now.”
Sure, but now that Jace and Echo squad had returned, it would be only a matter of time before the carrier jumped through the portal to Holtadar where he would be dropped off, unable to see her for the rest of her pregnancy or when his child was born. And he’d miss the first few years of its life, just as his father had missed his entire life.
***
Shoving the last of her belongings into her pack, Katrina took a deep breath. Her queasiness had passed, but she didn’t feel any better about leaving the Defenders behind. It felt like giving up on her dream. She’d wanted nothing else than to serve the Alliance in combat. And now she had to step away from all of that, take time off to keep herself and her baby healthy. Her baby. There was only one possible father, but he’d made it clear he didn’t want her in his life, so there was no point in even telling him. Her baby would be far better off not knowing its father than growing up thinking he didn’t want to be a part of its life.
Saying goodbye to Jace would be the hardest, though. He’d been there for her since the beginning of her life as a Defender. Sure, they’d stay in contact when he wasn’t off on a mission and she wasn’t busy being a mother, but it wouldn’t be the same as being on the carrier with him.
Zipping up her pack, she glanced around the room. Had she forgotten anything? Not that she wouldn’t have everything she needed on Hemera, but she didn’t want to leave any of her belongings behind for the person who would claim the space next.
The shuttle would take her to her new home planet, where her parents and sister waited in anxious anticipation, in the morning. Her mother hadn’t been mad she hadn’t come for the ceremony, only relieved that she was okay. News of her pregnancy hadn’t caused a battle, either. Because, hey, the queen knew what it wa
s like to raise a child on her own. Unlike her mother, Katrina would have the support of her parents. Bryce might not have been around to raise her, but he’d have a chance to see his grandchild grow up.
Katrina smiled, remembering how happy they’d all been when she’d told them she was expecting. If only she shared their enthusiasm. She wouldn’t terminate it, as the child had been conceived under loving circumstances, but she wished she was on better terms with Jager. Maybe she should at least find a way to tell him before she left. If he didn’t give her a chance, he’d never know.
Her com unit pinged. There was someone at her door. She pushed the button on her wrist com to open it and smiled at the person standing there.
“Jace.” She rose to her feet.
He hugged her then held a hand to her forehead. “Did you bust out, or did they actually let you out of med bay?”
She shook her head. He always knew how to momentarily take away her worries. “They let me out to pack. I’m going to Hemera, at least until I have the baby.” She chewed on her bottom lip. Would she be emotionally able to leave her child behind to return to serving the Alliance? Or would she end up remaining on Hemera, raising her child far away from her life on Earth and the one she’d dreamed of.
A throat cleared to the right of the doorway.
Jace shifted on his feet. “Oh yeah, there’s someone else who wants to see you.”
Jager stepped into the room, his hands behind his back and his eyes wary. “Hi.”
Well, that was better than any other reaction she’d had from him over the past two weeks. But what did he want? She wouldn’t change her mind about keeping the baby because of him. He didn’t have to claim any responsibility. She nodded in his direction, the lump in her throat taking away her ability to speak properly.
“I, um....” He stepped closer to stand beside her friend. “Jace told me you’re pregnant, that we’re going to be parents.”
“We?” She wrapped her arms around herself. “You made it pretty clear there was no we. But, don’t worry. I’m leaving for Hemera in the morning. You won’t have to have anything to do with me or my baby.” Her body began to shake with anger. Why had Jace brought him? She’d do just fine without him.
Jager (Galactic Defenders Book 2) Page 8