“You can’t.” Jager put his hand out like he was going to touch her face, but she turned away.
“It’s too late. Everything’s been arranged.” She glared at Jager. “Why do you suddenly care anyway? I mean, I’ve left you alone since you slid the door closed in my face.”
Shifting from foot to foot, Jager rolled his hands inside each other. “Unlike my father, I’d like to be a part of my child’s life.”
Jace elbowed him. “And?”
Jager sighed. “And a part of yours.”
“Well, don’t do it on my account. I’m not holding you to anything.” She set her jaw and cocked her head to the side. “I’m perfectly fine raising this child on my own. I don’t need you or your pity. You can go off with whomever you decided to hook up with, now, and leave me the fuck alone.”
Jace slapped Jager across the back of the head. “Would you please just tell her so she’ll stop using those Terran words and maybe she’ll understand why you’ve been an asshole while I was gone.”
Pulling at the front of his shirt, Jager avoided looking at her. “I’m being sent away. On Terra, I, um, made a mistake, and Granil said I have to serve time as a guard on the prison colony.”
“No.” Her body grew cold. Everything made sense now. He blamed her for being reprimanded. “No, they can’t. Everything you did on Earth, you did because of me. Tell her that. Tell her it was all my fault. I’m leaving anyway. I’ll leave the Defenders forever, but you can’t.” Tears welled in her eyes. He had every right to be mad. “You can’t go there.”
Chest heavy, she wiped her face then shoved past Jager and Jace. Granil couldn’t send him away. It was all her fault. She was to blame. Why didn’t he tell the Alliance leader that?
“Katrina, wait.”
But she didn’t. She ran to the lift and rode down to the level where Granil’s office was. Whether the door remained guarded or not, Katrina would get into the office, and she would get the leader to withdraw Jager’s punishment.
“Katrina, you can’t do this.” Jager rushed toward her from the other end of the hall. “This is my punishment. I’ve accepted it.”
“No.” She shoved him aside. “If not for my actions, for my disobedience, you never would have made those decisions. Put the blame on me.” She pointed to the closed door of the leader’s office. “Tell her.”
He wrapped his arms around her, holding her arms to her sides and her body tight to his. “Listen to me. What’s done is done. You go to Hemera, have our baby, and keep it safe.”
“But what about you?” She slipped her arms out of his grip and wrapped them around his neck. “You know what happens to Defenders who are sent to guard that place. They never return to regular duty, too traumatized by what they witness, what they have to do to keep prisoners in line.”
He stepped to the side and set his palm on her belly. “My enthusiasm to see this little being for the first time is what will get me through.” He moved his hand to her cheek and ran his thumb along her bottom lip. “And you, if you can forgive me for being, as you and Jace like to say, an asshole. I’m so sorry, I just didn’t want to start something when—”
She kissed him, unable to let him make excuses. He was already taking the blame for her actions. Far more of a sacrifice than he should have to make to prove he cared for her, that he was honorable, a man her father would approve of.
Her gut twisted in knots, she pulled away. “I still don’t want you to do this. If I tell her you did it all because of me, I’ll be punished. But, they can’t send me to the prison colony.”
Gripping her elbows, he stared her down. “You don’t understand. Nothing you did matters. I was the leader, and I made the decisions to do what I did. If you go in there and say it was your fault, we’ll both be reprimanded. Just leave it, please.”
She shoved his arms away. “Then what do you want me to do? How can I live with myself knowing that I put you there?”
He rubbed her arms. “Stop this. You need to take care of yourself, stay healthy for our baby. I won’t be able to make it through if you don’t.” Gently tugging on her elbow, he nodded toward the lift. “C’mon. Let’s go to my room and spend some time together before you leave. I’ve missed having you close to me.”
Glancing between the office and the lift, Katrina let go of her anger, her rage. She leaned her head on his chest, and welcomed his arms around her. If this was their last night together, she wasn’t going to waste it.
Chapter Eleven
Katrina winced at the pings coming from one of the wrist com units on the desk. She wanted to ignore the sound, stay curled up with Jager until the last possible moment. And she guessed he wanted the same thing when he nuzzled into her neck and pulled her tighter to his naked body. One night was all they had. Yet, it had been the most glorious time of her life. They weren’t surrounded by bars, hungry, wondering why they’d been abducted. And they were naked by their own volition. One night of pleasure. Of love.
She turned around and kissed him, laying her palm on his cheek. “Whoever it is isn’t going to let us stay here forever. Someone is going to be knocking on the door soon.”
He gave her a lazy smile. “Let them. I don’t ever want to let you go.”
The room began to flash red. Their time was up.
“Hang on. Give us a minute.” Jager slid out of bed then pulled on a pair of lounge pants.
When he glanced back at her with eyebrows raised and eyes wide, she shrugged. “What do you want me to do?”
He waved a hand at her. “Just stay there. I won’t let them in.”
But, as soon as he opened the door, Jace barged in, dressed in his formal mission uniform. Katrina yanked the blanket tight to her chest. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to get you.” He gave her the same “duh” look Gwenodyn gave her when she had just read her mind. Must be a Mingot thing. But at least she’d learned to stop broadcasting her thoughts to the entire ship.
“It’s that time already? I wanted to get to my room before—”
“Before what?” Jace crossed his arms and lifted a brow. “Before everyone knew what you two were up to last night? Well, it’s too late for that.”
Her face, ears, and neck warmed.
“Oh, come on.” Jace shifted his weight. “Even if I couldn’t read minds, it would be obvious.” He grabbed her clothes from the floor by his feet—with only one night, they hadn’t wasted any time—and tossed them at her. “Get dressed then meet me down in shuttle bay. Your belongings have already been loaded. I’ll be your pilot.”
She glanced over at Jager and gulped. This was it. Their last moments together. She had to say goodbye, leave for one planet while he was sent to another that would leave him scarred on the inside rather than outside. Turning her attention to Jace, she nodded. “Okay, give us a few?”
“Sure.” He frowned.
Could he feel her sadness, the grief she struggled to hold inside?
Then he glanced past her. “Oh, and Jager? After you two have said your goodbyes, the leader wants to see you in her office.”
Goodbye. She didn’t want to say that, preferred “See you later” instead. Her gut twisted, and she thought she might vomit. But the feeling passed, thank goodness. She didn’t want Jager to picture her slumped over a toilet when he thought of her during their time spent apart.
Instead, numbness washed over her. She’d experienced the best emotions with him last night. And now, nothing. Numb would keep away the tears. At least until the shuttle took off. She dressed, and he walked with her, holding her hand, down to the shuttle bay.
She kissed him before she boarded, grasping to hold onto the feel of his lips, of his arms around her, his strange musky, woodsy scent that only Kalarens seemed to have. Yet, regardless of how hard she tried, she couldn’t ignore the invisible force tugging him further and further away.
He was quiet for a moment, holding her hands while staring into her eyes. His chest rose and fell with each heavy
breath. “I love you, Katrina. This isn’t the end.”
Without a chance for her to comprehend the momentous words, to say them in response, he turned and left, disappearing in seconds. The lump in her throat doubled, making breathing impossible. She leaned against the shuttle, her body shaking.
“Are you okay?” Jace rushed out, supporting her from behind. “Fornax, Katrina. I wish there was something I could do to make this situation better.”
Only there wasn’t. She had to wait four years to see the man she loved again.
***
The trip to Hemera took under a day, far less time than the journey to or from Earth. Tears had fallen from her eyes the entire flight, leaving her cheeks dry and crusted. She refused the offer of food from Jace, her stomach not in any condition to digest anything. Instead, she longed for the journey to last forever, knowing as soon as her friend returned to the carrier, the ship would depart for the prison colony to jettison Jager. He didn’t stand a chance. Regardless of his feelings for her or desire to see their child, he couldn’t maintain his sanity while serving there. No Defender ever had.
Jace rested a hand on her shoulder as the shuttle door opened. “I wish there was something I could do to change the circumstances. Know that everything Jager did on Terra, I would have done, too, if I’d known.”
Bile rose to her throat. His words only made her feel worse. So, no matter who went after her, she would have sent someone to the prison colony. All because she didn’t want to go home. And now she was there for a much longer stay, on leave from the Defenders and pregnant.
Stepping off the ramp, she spotted her sister waiting at the dome’s entrance. The dome had been erected to prevent another massacre on Hemera, and since she had left the planet, it had worked. The ugly creatures hadn’t returned.
Katrina waved to her sister, trying to shove down her sadness, her guilt. Even though the girl was only half-Mingot, she could read thoughts the same as the rest of them.
Jace pulled her into his side. “You can try to suppress your emotions, but you’re not any good at it. Let your family be there for you, and ping me whenever you need to chat.”
She released a heavy breath then turned to hug Jace. “Tell him I love him. Tell him, I’ll be waiting for him with our child. And you, make sure you come visit when you can.”
“Of course.” He stepped back, pulling away from her, one step closer to Jager’s sentence. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go.”
She nodded, no longer willing to talk with pages rushing toward them to fetch her belongings. Part of living in the royal court that she found both a blessing and a curse. She rubbed her belly. With a baby on the way, she might appreciate them more, especially when she was in her last trimester. Wait! She wasn’t even Terran. She had no idea how long gestation periods lasted for her kind. Kinds. All this information she’d missed living on Earth with her mother who’d believed everyone on Hemera to be dead after the first Erebus attack. She still had much to learn before she gave birth.
Jace gave her one last hug then left and closed the shuttle door behind him. She glanced away, unable to bear the sight of him leaving. Not without shedding more tears. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she headed to the entrance where Gwenodyn waited.
The closer she got, the more she realized how much her sister had changed. Instead of the stick-thin girl she’d left behind, she approached a young woman with curves and a cute bowtie smile with dimples on either side. She was surprised Bryce had let her out on her own.
“Hey sister, how are you doing?”
“Better than you.” She kissed her on each cheek. “But I’m glad you’re here. So are your parents.”
Katrina glanced around, expecting the royal couple to be standing inside the dome, waiting for her. “Where are they?”
“They’re getting ready.” Her sister glanced to the left. What was she hiding?
“For what? Me? Did they repurpose my room while I was gone?”
“No.” Gwenodyn wrung her hands. “They’re getting ready for someone else to arrive. Someone from the Alliance.”
With the carrier ready to head to the prison colony, it had to be one of Granil’s representatives visiting. Otherwise, she would not have traveled to the planet with only Jace as company. But what did they want? Was she about to receive her punishment? At this point, nothing could make her feel worse than the guilt she felt over Jager’s sentence. She should have come to Hemera rather than sneaking on the mission to Earth, left things as they were. Sure, everyone’s attitude toward her had changed, but at a horrible cost. And she had to live with that for the rest of her life.
***
Already numb at the idea of spending four years on the prison planet, away from Katrina and the Defenders, and missing his child’s birth, Jager sauntered into the Alliance leader’s office with his head down. He had no idea what she would want other than to dig the blade deeper into his heart by telling him he would be left there for ten years. Possibly forever.
Granil glanced up from her com tab. “Oh, Jager, you’re here. Good.”
Good wasn’t a word he’d use any time soon. Not with his life falling apart. He yearned to remain upbeat, stay sane in order to return to Katrina and his unborn child. But the more he thought of them, the worse the prospect of leaving felt.
She motioned for him to take a seat, the anger in her mannerisms from his last visit, gone. After setting aside her com tab, she crossed her legs and set both sets of hands in her lap. “So, it seems there have been some disturbances on the prison planet.”
Wonderful. Then they wanted him there even faster. Someone was likely already onboard, ready to transport him there as soon as he left the office.
Steepling the pointer fingers of her upper set of arms, Granil placed them to her lips, as if contemplating how to deliver the blow. “I have received word that you are not welcome there. No one is until they control the population, including the guards.”
Jager held his breath. If they didn’t want him, what did that mean? Would the Alliance find a worse punishment for him?
“Since that disciplinary action is no longer feasible, I have come up with another.” She crossed her legs and leaned back in the chair. “Because, regardless of what you may believe, I want you punished, not dead.”
Dead would probably be better than the condition most Defenders returned in after guarding the prison planet, stupefied and not able to serve the Alliance. They were holed up in some hospital on Kalara, far away from the rest of the population.
“I’ve also taken into consideration some new information I’ve learned about you and another member of your squad.”
Fornax! Someone had snitched. And now Katrina was going to be sentenced, when he’d wanted to prevent that from happening. Jager gripped the arms of the chair and took a deep breath. Something to keep him from marching into the Defender lounge and hunting down Katrina’s accuser.
Granil lowered a screen to his left, one they could both see. When it came on, it showed a series of planets in various nearby systems. “These are the planets that recently joined the Alliance.”
He was surprised at the sheer number, most of them with populations centralized on a small portion of their surface, like Hemera and Kalara, though there were a couple where the species had scattered across the various land masses simply to survive. With a slight nod, he waited for the next piece of information to be revealed. Maybe the Alliance had decided to transport prisoners to a new planet.
The leader switched to the next picture, a split image of the carnage left behind after Defender missions to Hoggins and Niesgoo. “As you know, we lost several Defenders before you were promoted to squad leader.”
Yes, including his entire squad. If not for Bryce and Echo, Jager would be dead along with them.
The next screen showed statistics, the loss of life in numbers. But he could never see them that way. They were Defenders he’d trained with, worked under, and very much respected. Jager turned from th
e screen. “What’s your point? What do you want with me?”
Granil flicked off the screen. “I want you to recruit. We need to train more Defenders, and I want you to go find them.”
That was his punishment? There had to be a catch. She was letting him off too easy when only the day before she was ready to send him to the prison planet. “And?”
She smiled and tapped her fingers together, her short tentacles waving above her head. “I’m glad you asked. You see, many of the new planets in the Alliance are family oriented. And as you know, being a Defender can be a very solitary life.”
A fact he knew too well. Most Defenders stayed single, hooked up to release pent-up sexual energy but never yearned for anything more. Those who did have a family had to serve many years far away from them until one or more of their children were old enough to take their place. “So, what are you asking me to do?”
She laughed at him, her tentacles waving wildly. “You say ‘asking’ like you have a choice in the matter. The truth is, if you don’t do what I ask, I will jettison you into space right now. There is no longer a place for you on this carrier. Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to wind up in Hemera’s orbit so your child can look up to the night sky and see its dad floating past.”
“Okay.” Jager swallowed down the image. He’d never known his father but would rather ignorance than the situation Granil had proposed. “What am I to do?”
She nodded. “I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding. So, first, we are going to wait for Jace to return. During that time, you can pack up your room. As soon as he lands in the shuttle bay, we will hop on, and the three of us will be heading to Hemera. I will tell you the rest during our flight. If at any time you disagree, let me know, and I’ll eject you from the shuttle.”
Jager (Galactic Defenders Book 2) Page 9