The Pieces that Built Me

by Amber Lacie

  “This better be good, I was sleeping.” Brenden’s harsh voice cracked in my ear. Fuck.

  Taking a deep breath through my nose, I spoke, “I’m looking for Daniel.”

  “Well you’re gonna have to keep looking. Loser got drunk last night, spent the last of his money, and blew through his stash with that white trash whore he had with him. He owes me over a grand. As of three this morning he ain’t stayin’ here no more.”

  “What?”

  Brenden’s sigh stretched through the speaker, scratching at my eardrum. “Ya heard me, Arlington. Now stop callin’. You want Daniel? Try Ben’s place. He ain’t got a phone, so you’ll have to go over there. Try the Loft.”

  The line disconnected, and I was left in a puddle of confusion. Who the hell is Ben, and where the fuck is The Loft? My eyes scanned toward the clock in my room. It’s just after noon. It must be nice to lie in bed all day and get high. I wouldn’t know. It never appealed to me.

  Needing a bit of fresh air, I sent August a text, letting him know I was going to go into town to find some place called The Loft. My signal strength at home was less than par, so I could only hope it went through. Besides, the library had free Wi-Fi and I wouldn’t need to use any of my data if I were there. I might have had money, but I didn’t like spending it unless I had to. Like I said, I was an adult––or at least I thought I was. Almost immediately, my phone lit up a pale blue, letting me know I had a text. A smile warmed against my lips as I opened the message.

  “Alright, Babe. I’ll call you after practice. Be good and I’ll write you a song.”

  Rolling my eyes, I replied with a simple, “Okay.”

  August was always writing me songs, so it wasn’t anything new. I had only heard two of them, and it was only bits and pieces. He said he had to perfect them first. To me, they already were.

  After double-checking my purse for my keys, I slung it over my shoulder and headed out to the garage where my dad was laying on the floor, covered in grease. “So, I’m going to take the truck. I need to go to the library for a bit. I’ll be back.”

  “That’s fine. Did you say goodbye to your mom?”

  “If you’re referring to the incubator still passed out in the living room, the answer is no.” My feet crunched on the gravel as I heard my dad toss a tool across the cement floor.

  “Arlington Byres, you stop right now. You and I need to talk.”

  Refusing to turn around, I stood firmly in place. “About?”

  “About everything. You’re either at work or the library. That August boy might be gone, but I know he’s still holding your attention. Plus, you and Daniel are constantly having secret phone calls. Yeah, I know about that––I’m not dumb.”

  “No one said you were.”

  “You didn’t have to.”

  Nodding my head, I held my ground. “Smart people don’t let other people use them. It’s not the first time she’s needed to crash here between guys. I’m tired and I don’t understand how you aren’t. She doesn’t love you, Dad. She doesn’t love any of us.”

  Ignoring him as he yelled out my name, I walked away and got in the truck. For the first time, I felt like I needed a release of some sort. Maybe that’s why Daniel was always either drunk or high. Maybe he couldn’t handle it all. God knows I barely did.

  The library was surprisingly busy for a Thursday afternoon, but I didn’t mind. I found an empty table in the corner, against a long dark row of books, in the back of the reference section. People rarely came to this spot, so it was like my hidden escape from the reality of the craziness surrounding me. It didn’t take me but a few minutes to find out what I needed. The Loft was a new tattoo parlor that just opened over on Twenty-third Avenue, across from the liquor store. Lovely. My only hope was that whoever Ben was, he wasn’t old enough to supply Daniel with any liquor. I sat there in the corner for a few more minutes, trying to process what I would say when I got there. Once I had my courage in check, I headed back out to my truck.

  The library was about ten blocks or so from The Loft. Since there was very little street parking in front of the building, I had to park around the corner, near the alley. It wasn’t the best place to park, but I didn’t have a choice. I hated the alleys. They always creeped me out.

  The hours posted in the front window of the shop showed the place was still closed for another hour, but I pulled on the large glass door anyway, and stepped inside. There was another glass door to my left with The Loft etched in a fancy script in the center. In front of me there was a brown door and another one to the right. Taking a chance, I chose the door in front of me.

  It was heavy, but surprisingly, it opened. As I made my way upstairs I could hear people laughing. At the top of the landing there were two more brown doors, one on the left and one on the right. I waited a moment until I heard the laughing again. It was a guy and a girl. Hushed whispers followed soft giggles. Not wanting to disturb whatever was going on there, I opted for the door on the left. After banging a few times and not getting the hint of a reply that someone may be in the apartment, I turned around to head back down the stairs.

  “Arlo?” The deep baritone voice made me jump. I had assumed Daniel was behind the door I had been banging on for the past few minutes, but I was wrong. Instead, he was standing in the other doorway in his boxers with a thin wafer of a girl wrapping herself around him. Of course! I shouldn’t be surprised by him. Nothing is ever easy when it comes to Daniel.

  “Daniel?”

  “I’m kind of in my underwear. Could we do this inside?”

  Shifting my weight from one foot to the other, I took a better look at the girl. I could have sworn she looked familiar. “It looks like you were already doing something inside. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Come on, it’s not like she’s going to bite.” Daniel looked down at the girl, still entangled around his waist, and let out a laugh as she nibbled on his shoulder.

  “I’m not so sure of that. Do you know when her last rabies vaccination was? I don’t want to catch anything.”

  “Look––you came here. I didn’t ask you to come, so quit being a bitch and come inside before you wake up Ben.”

  Stepping into the apartment, I looked around the empty studio. There was one countertop in the kitchen, nestled in between the sink and the stove, which was right next to the refrigerator. An old mattress with worn sheets was centered against a wall. Two milk crates were set up on either side of the makeshift bed holding lamps and phone chargers. Glancing around the room, I could see old takeout boxes piled all over the floor. Catching the empty garbage can by the door, to what I assumed was the bathroom, I gave Daniel a knowing look.

  “Love what you’ve done with the place. Who’s the girl?” Another male voice caught me off guard, causing me to jump for the second time.

  “Ben. Benny. I was going to clean it up a bit before I headed down to work. I promise.” Daniel pushed the girl off him and onto the mattress. She rolled over laughing as her arms fell haphazardly above her head. Weird, faint bruises lined the inside of her arm. Another fucking drug addict.

  “Sure, you were. Look man, we had a deal––junkies aren’t allowed. Have them pack their shit and go. Nothing Brenden gives you is worth that kind of migraine. You want pills? Fine. Liquor? Sure thing––get fucking wasted. But needles and white powder are not on the list of approved substances in this building. I thought we were clear on this. I don’t need the police stopping by because you can’t get your shit together.”

  Turning around, I took in the sight of the man behind me. He was tall and lean with short, spiky black hair. He’s cute, but he’s no August.

  “What do you mean, ‘them’?” I snapped, not hiding my irritation.

  “I mean you and that whore you brought with you.”

  “Ben. Calm down, man. That girl right there,” Daniel smiled as he points towards me. “That girl is my Arlington. She’s special. God made her perfect in every way. She’s the other half to my soul. Arlo,
this is Ben––he’s my boss. Ben, meet Arlo. Arlo, meet Ben. She’s my twin sister.”

  “That was a rather long introduction. How high are you right now? Where were you last night? If you’re in trouble, you call me. We’ve been over this.” Stepping towards Daniel, I grabbed his hand and pulled him over towards the sink. The entire apartment smelled of booze. Grabbing the sprayer nozzle, I turned on the hot water and squeezed the trigger, shooting Daniel in the face with a stream of water.

  “What the fuck, Arls?”

  “Don’t you, ‘what the fuck’ me. I was scared. I didn’t know where you were. God damn it, Daniel. I love you. Why can’t you see that what you’re doing is hurting me?”

  Dropping his head to his chest, he grabbed a napkin off the counter, trying to dry himself off. “I know.”

  “Then fucking act like it.” The anger in me boiled under my skin. “And you,” I said, spinning on my heel to point my finger at the girl, now lying half asleep on the mattress. “Who the hell do you think you are?” Finally getting a better glimpse of her face, I realized who she was. “Corie? Daniel you’re fucking Corie? You’ve got to be kidding me. She’s Brenden’s whore!”

  “Right––it looks like your sister has this under control. That junky needs to go. You better be downstairs in two hours to start cleaning up,” Ben said, looking from Corie to Daniel before sliding his glance over to me. “And you––I’m sorry that fuck is your brother. He owed me a couple favors, and a friend of mine owns the liquor store across the street. I got him a job there, so he could pay me back. I’m letting him stay here, and in turn, he cleans up the place. I hope he keeps away from that junky. You and I…we could definitely benefit from it.”

  My mouth flew open at the implication. What the fuck? He had to be in his mid-twenties. I was barely nineteen. I couldn’t even buy myself a drink and he thought I could benefit from the situation. There was no benefit, other than Daniel having a job. It might not have been the best job, but at least he was working. He was trying, and that was more than he had done in the past month.

  Daggers flew from my eyes as I watched Corie pull a dress over her head, grab a pair of sandals and scramble out through the door. August was beneath her, and yet she was fucking my brother. I didn’t see the difference. Maybe it was the fact that Daniel could get her stuff, and August was making his life better. Maybe it was the fact she always hated me, and she knew this would get to me. Either way, I know I have to keep her away from Daniel. That girl is trouble.

  Ben gave me a nod of his head and closed the door behind him as he followed Corie out. I watched as Daniel paced across the white tiled floor. He was broken. I wanted him home with me, but it would never happen. I knew dad wouldn’t forgive him. The thought of him being alone had water creasing the corners of my eyes.

  “Arlington, I love you.”

  His speech was slurred, and I hated it. “I know.”

  “You cry, I cry, so please don’t. Not this time. I messed up last night, I know, but I was celebrating. I got myself a job and it pays in cash. Real cash, Arls. Not drugs. Not this time.”

  Sighing, I leaned against the counter and turned to face him. “Promise?”

  Daniel stopped dead in his tracks and looked me straight in the eye. “I promise. Now what did you need to tell me?”

  “I got a cell phone. You can call me on it now. You won’t need to call the house anymore. Dad knew you were calling. He told me today.”

  “Yeah, I figured he would know. Is she still there?”

  He didn’t need to explain the she, I knew exactly who he was talking about. “Yeah––Lilly is still there. She’s moved into the living room now. I give her another day or two and she’ll be gone. Once she starts sleeping on the couch dad normally kicks her out again. Maybe when she leaves you could come home? I miss you.”

  “Nah. What’s done is done. I’m not going back.”

  Silence surrounded us as I stared at my reflecting image. His face was thinning, and his eyes were sunken. All I want is the brother I had when I was little. Where did he go? Daniel cleared off the milk crates and set them up in front of a coffee table near the bed. It was missing the centerpiece of glass, so he had cut old pizza boxes to fit the space.

  “Look, it’s not fancy here, I know––but it’s a start. Hang out with me today.”

  “And what would we do?”

  “Laugh? Forget that I’m a fuck up?”

  The only thought that crossed my mind was being with Daniel. I didn’t care where we were. I knew if I were with him, he would be okay. “Alright. Entertain me.”

  Smiling, Daniel grabbed some worn playing cards from the kitchen drawer. “These were here when I moved in.”

  “Speaking of which––Brenden made it sound like you just moved out last night. How long have you been staying here?”

  Sitting across from me on the other crate, Daniel stacked up the cards in front of us. “Almost two weeks. I couldn’t go back to his place. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I’m not upset you’re not there. I hate him. He’s such a bad influence on you. I’m just more upset that you didn’t tell me.”

  “Can we pretend for a bit that you’re my twin sister and not the mom we never had? I want a friend, not a lecture.”

  My fingers shuffled the deck as I stared at him. Pretending. I can do that. “What do you want to play?”

  “War?”

  “Seriously? That game takes forever.”

  “I know. I’m okay with it––I have some time before work.”

  Nodding my head, I set the deck of cards back on the makeshift table, and we sat across from one another, playing cards until he had to get ready for work. I can’t remember exactly what we talked about, but neither of us mentioned the scene I had found that morning. We laughed and made jabs at each other, and at one point, we were arguing over our favorite Saturday morning cartoons. Nothing we talked about meant anything, and yet, it meant everything to me.

  That evening, when I pulled back into the driveway, I was pleasantly surprised to see Lilly’s car was no longer disgracing our home. When I stepped inside, there was no trace of her. Instead, I found my dad sitting in the living room with a frozen dinner in his lap. A silent exchange of awkward glances let me know she was gone and he was sorry. He wouldn’t say it, but I accepted his apology anyway. That’s the way it had always worked.

  For the first time in a long time, I felt content. I wasn’t anxious, or on edge, to see where all of this was taking me. Daniel might not have been in the best place, but it was an improvement for him, and I was proud of him.

  By the time I was spread out across my bed, I was smiling from ear to ear while my fingers dialed August’s number. I couldn’t wait to tell him everything that had happened. However, when his voicemail picked up instead of him, I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my voice as I left my message. I was awful with the time difference. I knew it was later for me than it was for him, but keeping track was difficult for me. I had always hated math.

  After leaving him a voicemail telling him how much I missed him and giving him a brief update on my crazy life, I hung up the phone.

  Laying my head against the pillow, I relaxed, and fell asleep, having the best night’s sleep I’d had in a very long time.

  Andrea was working in a dress shop a few towns over, and today was her only day off, and I was waiting impatiently for the time to pass by. We didn’t talk as much as we used to, but she was the only friend I still had, besides August and Daniel. August. He was an entirely different subject.

  We had never discussed what we were, we just fell into pattern, and neither of us brought it up. I hadn’t heard from him in two days. In my mind we belonged together, but then again, I wasn’t sure he was on the same page as me. There were too many states between us for me to feel secure in knowing we were exclusive. Were we even dating? Were we just friends? I had so many questions and no one to ask––no one, except Andrea.

  Biting my nails, I
checked the time on the computer. One more minute had to pass before I could clock out for the day. I’m pretty sure Father Time was torturing me by adding seconds to the already overly extended minute slowing ticking by. Once the clock read noon, I grabbed my purse from the bottom drawer of my desk and headed out for the day.

  Andrea was already sitting down inside the quaint bistro when I walked in. Waving to me, she flashed a smile to the waiter, signaling him over to her table. He set down a fresh glass of water in front of me as I made myself comfortable in the wooden chair. I took a sip and buried my face in the menu.

  “So, what’s up?” Andrea asked as she looked over her menu.

  “Nothing. What are you ordering?”

  Andrea pulled my menu down while arching her brow. “Don’t lie. You wouldn’t have asked to go to lunch if there wasn’t something. You could’ve just called or sent me a text. This is a personal visit. Spill it, Arls.”

  Knowing I was caught, I answered, “I don’t know where to start.”

  Picking up a thin breadstick from the basket in front of us, she spun it in her fingers while tapping her teeth with her fingernail. “Let’s sort it. Tell me the bad news first.”

  Just as I was about to go into dramatic detail, the waiter walked back over. After we both ordered a salad, it occurred to me just how similar, yet different Andrea and I were. She would’ve divulged every detail, no matter who was standing there. Me, I waited until the waiter walked away.

  “How long do you think it will be before he comes back?”

  “I don’t know. We just ordered salads. Spill your guts, Arlo.”

  Adjusting the silverware in front of me I took a long, deep sigh. “Daniel is sleeping with Corie.” The look in her eyes told me she was just as shocked as I was. I knew there would be a million questions, so I kept talking before she had a chance to reply. “My dad kicked him out, but you knew that already. Daniel had moved in with Brenden; I don’t know what happened, but Brenden said Daniel wasn’t there anymore. It turns out he’s staying with some guy above a tattoo shop. I showed up and Corie was there, wearing nothing but a pair of panties and her bra, wrapped around my brother like a fucking spider monkey. There were bruises on her arm––I think she’s using.”