by Amber Lacie
The music grew louder, and soon his voice was crooning along with the notes. The familiar goosebumps his voice caused, slowly crawled up my arms. I hated that he still had that effect on me. I often wondered if I would ever experience a feeling like that again, but after everything that happened with Ben, I had put men on the backburner. I didn’t have time, nor the heart to try again.
After a few songs, August was sweating and took a quick break to down a drink someone handed him. His eyes roamed the crowd and he leaned back, covering the mic while talking to Blake. Nodding his head, his eyes scanned the crowd until they found mine. Instantly, water formed along the edges of my eyes. It wasn’t because I still wondered about him, it was because all the attention from the crowd was now focused on us. I had grown to hate attention. The looks mingled in the crowd varied from jealousy to confusion. My nerves began to eat at me. Gripping the table, I started to stand when August spoke.
“Don’t go.” My eyes flashed up towards the Adonis on the stage. “I wanted to tell you––Happy Birthday.”
Andrea started to clap her hands like a deranged lunatic and I shot her a look that could kill. “What the fuck did you do? How and why?”
Shrugging her shoulders, she looked back at the stage and gave August her undivided attention. Son of a bitch.
“There’s a very special lady in the crowd tonight. She’s celebrating her birthday with some friends tonight. Being that I still consider us very close friends, I thought you guys could help me out by singing her Happy Birthday with me. Can we do that?” The crowd cheered, and my stomach dropped. “Alright, well her name is Arlo. She’s the pretty one in the blue dress, turning a very lovely shade of red. Are we ready?” With a strum of his guitar, August started singing and the crowd followed. Every person in the bar was singing to me. Despite my inner protest to it all, I enjoyed it. It was sweet.
Smiling up at him, I mouthed a thank you as he smiled back, giving me a nod of his head. At least when the night was over, I could say it was the best I had in a while. I would be able to hold onto that moment forever. His fingers gripped the neck of his guitar while his mouth found the mic once again.
“We have a couple of new songs to play for you guys tonight. Now, we can’t be up here all-night cause we have a plane to catch tomorrow, so don’t get mad us at when we leave. As an apology for not being able to stay longer, I want you guys to hear these songs first.”
Standing on the stage, music begins to the fill the room, followed by his voice.
“When I wake at I night I pray
The voices in my head grow louder
Until I fall down crashing into
Arlington.
Falling down, crashing down.
Love breaks me
The stones become harder, memories they burn
A moment of silence is held
Hearts break, tears fall.
Knees begging forgiveness
Unforgiving soil turns to cement
Falling down, crashing down
Love breaks me
My heart lies at Arlington
Tears forged so long ago
Run rivers through my mind
They all lead to her”
There was nowhere for me to go. There were too many people between me and the exit. The urge to run became so overwhelming, I pushed through the crowd, racing towards the only escape I could reach, the bathroom. The drinks in my stomach churned, causing the feeling of needing to vomit to rise in my throat. I leaned over the sink, splashing cool water on the back of my neck. What the fuck was that? Arlington is my name, but was I the Arlington in his song?
“Whoa, honey, you need to breathe. Arls, you look like you’re going to be sick.”
I turned my head as Andrea walked in. “I feel like it… did you know? Is this part of your great plan?”
“Don’t hate me. It’s a little of both.”
“Explain yourself Andrea Hardwick. Right now.”
“Did you just full name me? Seriously?” She was delaying. Her attempt to derail my thought process had failed.
“Andrea.”
“Fine. I knew about the birthday song, but that’s it. We talk sometimes, and I mentioned your birthday. They were going to be in town, so we thought it would be fun.” Grabbing a napkin, she held it under the cold water from the faucet, before placing it on the back of my neck. “I had no idea there was another song. Honest. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“But why now? Why couldn’t he tell me these things earlier?”
“He did. You pushed him a way.”
“That was years ago. He could have said something before now. Why in front of everyone?”
Sighing, Andrea plopped herself down on the counter where I was still standing. “I don’t know. To me, singing that song like that, not knowing how you would react in front of all those people, seems like a regrettably, yet sweet idea.”
“That wasn’t sweet. That was… well, I don’t know what it was, but sweet isn’t it.”
Looking myself over in the mirror, I stood, wondering if the person he knew still existed. Everything changed after my brother died. Then Ben came, followed by Jack. I had excessive amounts of baggage. What if he didn’t accept it?
“Just how long do we plan on staying in here? Eventually, the place is going to close. I don’t want to be found hiding in a bathroom by the cleaning crew.” Andrea ran her fingers along the blouse she was wearing before inspecting her nails. She was trying her best to be patient with me.
“I’m okay. Go inspect the hallway. I don’t want anyone waiting for me.”
“You’re okay, but yet, I have to go sneak into a hallway like some freaky ninja accountant and make sure no one is waiting to attack you?”
“Yes.”
Andrea jumped down from the counter and rested her hand on the door. “Fine, but I don’t think you’re okay. I think you’re a lunatic and you’re over-thinking everything, as always.”
“Just go.”
A few minutes went by before she peeked her head back in. “Okay, so there’s no one waiting to attack you. I checked. Not one murderer, or evil villain. But, there is a guy.”
Fuck. “Which guy?”
“Blake. He wants to apologize.”
“Why? He didn’t do it.”
“I don’t know, and I’m way too old to be playing messenger. I’m going back out there to sit with Jen and I plan on having several drinks. Once you’ve decided to be a big girl, and face your issues, come find me.”
She was right, and I hated it. I tugged at the bottom of my dress, trying to lengthen it some, before opening the door and stepping into the hallway. Blake was leaning against the light gray brick wall. “Arls, I want to say I’m sorry. I didn’t know assface and the hooker plotted against you.”
“I’m going out on a limb to assume you mean August and Andrea.”
“Yea, those fucktwads. I’m not associated or connected to any plans, or plotting they came up with, or enacted earlier in the night. I just wanted to clarify that.”
“That was a rather specific apology.”
“I know.” His face twisted as the next words fell from his lips. “I wasn’t involved earlier, but I am now. August wants to talk to you. No offense, but I’ve tried to get you out of his head, and for some reason, I can’t. Do me a favor––just talk to him, so I can go back to enjoying that lovely piece of candy you brought with you.” Licking his lips, he raised his eyebrows overdramatically.
“You’re disgusting, and fine. Where is he?”
He led me down the hall and through a door that said Employees Only. We walked around a corner and long black cords were lying across the floor. Blake had taken me behind the stage. We stepped into a room with a small couch and a table full of snacks. There was an entire bowl dedicated to Reese’s Pieces and several bottles of ginger ale. Both were August’s favorites. It’s funny the things you remember about a person, even after years have passed since the last time you were with them.
“Make yourself comfortable. There’s food and shit. He was signing some shirts and crap. It won’t take long.”
“Blake, has anyone ever told you how elegant you sound when you speak?”
“All the fucking time, love. Now, I gotta hop out of here. That friend of yours is waiting for me.”
I grabbed a can of pop and plopped down on the couch. I was about to meet a famous rock star. How many people could say the same? The seconds slowly creeped by, leading into minutes. Opening the pop can, I looked around the barren room. Besides the couch and the table, there wasn’t much to it. Old concert posters were plastered to the wall. Some had signatures and others were so worn they were cracking along the edges. It was quite a collection. A few more minutes ticked by and my eyes started to close. I was tired. I wasn’t used to staying up this late, let alone attempting to ‘party it up’ as Andrea called it. I should have been in bed.
“Arlo.” His voice pulled me from my half-asleep dazed state. My eyes opened and looked up towards the familiar hazel eyes.
“August.” It felt like a semi-truck was crashing into the cage of ribs around my heart.
“You’re perfect. Just seeing you sitting there, knowing you are here for me. It’s perfect.”
All water and moisture had disappeared from my mouth. Licking my lips, I tried to quench the Sahara Desert. “I don’t know what to say to that. August, we haven’t seen each other in years.”
“You say it like it’s been over a decade. It’s not been that long. I still remember everything I felt then because I feel it now.”
“But people change.”
“Are you saying you don’t have any feelings for me? None whatsoever?”
Of course, I had feelings for him. There’s not been a second that had passed where I hadn’t felt something, but everything was different. “I’m not saying I don’t. It’s just that I’m different now, my life, everything––it’s changed.”
“And so has mine, but my feelings for you haven’t. Look at me, Arls. One night. Give me one night to show you how amazing we are together. I leave for Nashville in the morning. Hell, I’ll even take just a few hours if you can spare those.”
Damn those hazel eyes. Damn the feelings I had hidden away, now brimming at my surface. Damn Andrea and the rest of the idiots who brought me here to this point tonight. Against my better judgment, I agreed, after I had convinced myself that I was supposed to be celebrating my birthday with my friends. Andrea’s mom had Jack and I knew he was well taken care of. I told myself that August was a friend, so celebrating with him wasn’t an exact change of plans. It was more of an addition. I could handle that. “One night. It’s all I have to offer.”
Standing, I stepped out of the room as August followed me, whispering over my shoulder which way to turn. The August Knight was following me back into a club, where a crowd of people were just chanting his name. It all felt so surreal. As we turned down the hallways by the bathroom, August linked his hand in mine. There was a line of people waiting just outside the doors. I thought maybe he had grabbed my hand, so we didn’t get separated, but when we reached the table where my friends were already sitting, he didn’t let go.
“Holy shit. August Knight in the flesh.”
Placing his hand on my hip, he pulled me in front of him as he looked at Andrea. “Andrea, I never thought you and I would get along for this amount of time.”
“Right? I’m quite surprised myself. However, I’ve taken care of her for the past few years so don’t fuck this up. She’s got a great life.”
Both began to talk about me as if I weren’t there. I have no clue when I became the toy they both wanted possession of. “I’m standing right here. I’m pretty sure I’m the one who gets to have a say in what I do with my life. Right now, it’s a night out. Isn’t that what we’re here for? So, I can let loose?” My voice sounded angrier than I was. I wasn’t exactly mad. It was more of an annoyance.
“Oh, my God, mom. I’ll back off, okay?” Andrea smirked at me. She knew I hated it when she would call me that. I might be a mom, but I wasn’t hers.
“Baby, what are you drinking?” He called me baby. August gently placed a kiss on the top of my head, causing a shiver to spiral down my spine.
“Um, Jen, what is it called again?”
Unwinding her arms from Blake’s neck, where she had been positioned for at least ten minutes, if not longer, she looked over at me. “You want a Cosmo.”
“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” August’s fingers lightly grazed my back as he stepped away. I didn’t realize how many people were still in the club and how many were looking at me until he had left the table.
“Jesus. There are so many eyes. How does he handle it?”
Lightly placing a kiss on Jen’s cheek, Blake gave me a smile. “It’s nothing. I’d like to say you get used to it, but you don’t. You learn how to ignore it. He’s better at that than me, though. I like using who I am to get things I want.”
Jen spun in his arms. “Like me?”
“Yep. Just like you, pet.” He placed another kiss on her lips as she inhaled him. He wasn’t coming up for air anytime soon. It was a disgusting display of lips twisting and hands pulling at each other. I’m certain if they were alone they would’ve already been screwing.
The rest of the night continued the same way. Andrea would make snarky comments about the people around us. I would laugh, and August would say something ridiculously sweet about how happy he was to be with me again. Then Blake would get in a few words before Jen would eat his face again. It was well after midnight before we finally left the bar. Andrea was the only one of us that was still sober, but August had convinced her to come with the rest of us.
He had another guy from the band drive Jen’s car, while the rest of us climbed into the limo waiting outside to drive us back to their hotel. At first, she was reluctant, but he promised her a full bar and a place to crash. She was sold.
I’m not sure what I was expecting when we got to the hotel. Maybe it’s because I assumed they would have a suite or a penthouse room. Instead, they had three rooms right next to each other. Blake and August shared one and the rest of the guys were spread out through the others. There were two queen-sized beds in the back section of the room, a regular sized bath, and a sitting area, which Blake informed us had a couch that could fold out into a bed.
I was sitting on one of the beds, running my fingers along the edges of one of the pillows when August walked over to Blake and started whispering. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but it was turning into an argument. Jen, Andrea, and I just sat around, awkwardly staring at each other while they fought in hushed whispers.
Finally, Blake walked over and bowed in front of Jen. “M’lady, it seems our quarters have been relocated. If you two would follow me, August has acquired us each a room. I’ve been promised a bed for Jen and me, along with a mini bar for Andrea. My apologies, but the King of Asshole Island has spoken, and he will not be moved on the issue.”
I stared back at my friends. As much as I wanted them to stay, I had no say in the matter. August wanted time with me and I had already promised it to him. “Sorry guys, I didn’t know.”
Andrea winked at me as she grabbed her purse off one of the tables. “No worries. Just make sure if you do the dirty he wraps it. You don’t know where it’s been.”
“I sure as fuck do. It’s been in her before.”
“Jesus, August. Not everyone needs to know everything.” Andrea walked out with Blake and Jen following behind her, while flipping us off.
He held the door open for them closing it softly behind them. “The last time you and I were alone like this was so long ago. Too long.”
Not knowing what to say, I sat quietly as he walked towards me. What was he expecting from me tonight? My nerves were destroying my thoughts, twisting my mind in every direction. Sitting beside me, he slowly reached his hand up, wrapping it around the back of my neck. I watched as his lips moved
slowly towards mine. Every single detail of the kiss sticks out in my mind still. It’s like a beacon of light, showing me where I should have been all along.
His soft lips pressed against mine, as my fingers lightly grazed his face. The rough short hair along his jaw line prickled against my skin. His hair knotted in my hand and a moan fell from his mouth into mine. I was lost in him.
My body slowly leaned back against the mattress. His chest pressed against mine and our arms twisted around one another, pulling at the clothes caging our bodies. Sitting up, I pulled my dress over my head, while August stood perfectly still watching me. Dark blue jeans were hanging from his hips with a trail of hair climbing from his boxers up to his chest. Tattoos sprinkled his forearms. There was something written on his rib cage, but I didn’t take time to inspect it. I wanted to feel him.
He stepped out of his jeans, and his boxers fell to the floor. My August was standing before me, completely nude. He was a God and I was going to worship him with everything I had. His fingers lightly traced the outside of my hips. “The boots. Leave those on.”
Fuck me. Raising my hips, I swallowed so loudly it echoed in my ears as he slipped my panties from my body, careful not to catch the lace on my leather boots. My fingers reached behind my back, unclasping my bra. Dropping it on the floor, I scooted farther back on the bed. “August, there are things you should know before we do this.”
“Like what? Are you with someone? I don’t even care if you are. I’m better for you than them. Let me show you.” Crawling up towards me, he spread my legs, burying his head between my thighs. The way his tongue stroked against me had my body arching and writhing underneath him. It had been years since I felt the touch of a man, let alone his. He wasn’t as commanding as Ben was when we were together. August was taking his time. Every movement was slow and precise.
“August, please.” His fingers were circling my clit while his lips and teeth were focused on my breasts. I was going to come undone before anything had really started.