The Promise

by Natalie Clarke

  “Come here,” I growled.

  The bathroom door opens, breaking me from my thoughts and Gwen steps out in an oversized white t-shirt that ends mid-thigh. I was so deep in my memories that I didn’t even hear the shower shut off.

  I clear my throat, rising from the bed. “You good?”

  “Yeah, thanks.” She shifts uncomfortably, folding her arms over her chest.

  “Well, I guess I should be going.”

  “Okay.”

  “You going to be alright?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be fine, thanks. I’ll walk you out.” She starts forward but sways unsteadily.

  “Whoa!” I move forward to catch her just as she loses her balance. I pick her up, cradling her against my chest before placing her down on her bed, tucking the covers around her body. I touch her cheek lightly with my fingers before pulling away, but she reaches out, her fingers searching for my hand, clutching it lightly.

  “Stay,” she whispers. “Don’t leave me.”

  I inhale deeply. I should say no. I should get out of here, far away from her. But how can I leave her when she needs me? I squeeze her hand back before lowering myself into the bed next to her, wrapping an arm around her as she snuggles into my side.

  She feels so good in my arms, it feels right. I tilt my head and press a kiss to the top of her head and soon, her breaths even out as sleep pulls her under.

  Chapter 9

  Gwen

  My eyes open and I squint against the harsh light that seeps into the room through the curtains which are pretty much useless as they let in just as much light as if they weren’t even there.

  I pull myself up into sitting position and wince. My head is throbbing, it feels like an elephant is stood on my skull. I throw myself out of bed and pad my way out of my room, keeping my hand against the wall for support.

  I head for the kitchen, rubbing my eyes and yawning

  In all my life, I’ve somehow avoided getting a hangover, clearly something has changed since giving birth to Lucas. My throat feels like sandpaper, I’m in desperate need of a huge jug of water and a couple of aspirins.

  I come to a halt and yelp when I spot a male body lying across my couch.

  Zach.

  What is he doing here?

  Broken snippets of memories from last night flood my brain. Dancing on the bar... falling off the bar... being carried out by Zach... kissing Zach…

  Shit.

  I kissed him.

  I remember him having to practically fight me off. Heat rises up into my cheeks.

  I walk towards him and gently nudge him awake. His eyes flutter open and his gaze meet mine. I smile awkwardly. “Hey.”

  “Morning.” He rolls over and sits up, stretching. “What time is it?”

  “Almost nine-thirty.”

  He nods. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like someone is doing a tap dance on my skull.”

  A faint smile crosses his lips. “Told you.”

  I flip him off, perching opposite him on the coffee table. “Look... I'm so sorry about last night, about... the kiss, for practically throwing myself at you.” I cover my face with my hands in an attempt to hide my shame. “I can’t even believe I did that, I’m so embarrassed. I-”

  He grasps my wrists and pulls them away from my face. “Don’t sweat it. It’s forgotten, okay?”

  It’s forgotten.

  His words cut through me like a knife, the same sharp stabbing feeling I felt a year ago, piercing my heart, again.

  It was a mistake. Shit! This… us, should never have fucking happened, alright? We forget about it and move on, okay? Promise me.

  His voice echoes through my mind.

  “Yeah… okay.”

  He rises from the couch, running a hand through his hair. “I better get off, get out of your way.” He reaches for his jacket which is slung over the back of the chair.

  “Oh, sure. Do you want me to drop you home? My car’s right out front.”

  “I don’t think it’s best you drive. Just take it easy today, okay? But thanks.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  I walk him out, and pull the handle and hold the door open for him. “Well, thank you for staying last night, for taking care of me.”

  “No problem.” He smiles. “I’ll see you around, Red.” He tugs his jacket on and starts down the hall, rounding the corner to the stairwell and disappearing out of sight.

  Chapter 10

  Zach

  I zip through the city streets, the deep rumble of my Harley reverberating through me, the hot July sun beating down on my leather-clad body. After getting a cab back to my apartment in the city, I showered, changed, and grabbed my bike. I needed to clear my head.

  Whenever I need to think, to just get away, I take my Harley out for a spin, gunning her up to a hundred, letting the world around me fade into a blur. Since being in Boston I’ve missed her, missed this; the freedom, the power, the danger, never has there been a better feeling than this, the adrenaline that courses through you, or so I thought until last night.

  Until the kiss.

  Last night proved my point exactly. I need to get far away from Gwen before I do something stupid, something reckless, something so bad there will be no coming back from, for either of us. It took every ounce of self-restraint to stop what she started last night. Her lips tasted so sweet and she felt so good underneath my body, and when she started rubbing up against me... fuck, I almost lost it.

  Seeing her cry did something to me, something that I tried so hard not to let happen again; she took yet another tiny piece of my heart for herself. If she takes anymore I’m afraid there will be no going back, but I can feel it, right down in my bones that it won’t be the last piece she takes.

  I meant what I said when I told her she had me. Although I can never have her, never be able to call her mine, I will always be there for her, I will always look out for her.

  Always.

  Lying there in her bed with her body tucked closely into mine, with her fisting my shirt in her hand, her soft breaths soaking through my shirt while she slept, warming my skin, her silky red hair tickling my face, hell, I should have been running for the hills. I could feel myself getting sucked deeper and deeper. This girl has me so spun up. I lose myself around her and forget who I am, something I have to put a stop to sooner rather than later.

  So I did the only thing I could think of, I unwound myself from her body and spent the rest of the night on her couch, so I could be there if she needed me, but I was far enough away that I removed temptation, and God, was I tempted.

  I ride… and ride… and ride, weaving in and out of the traffic, my speed gradually increasing, letting the rumble of my bike and adrenaline pumping through my veins, rid my mind of any thoughts, the last thing to cross my mind, is how I need to stay away from Gwen Sullivan.

  She is my weakness… my forbidden fruit… my downfall.

  Chapter 11

  Gwen

  I spend the next few days working on Patrick and Susanne’s wedding, creating mood boards of ideas for possible colour schemes and décor, as well as spending what feels like a lifetime on the phone to various venues trying to compromise on price. All of the venues I had in mind come in way over their budget, it’s as if they’ve hiked up the price for no apparent reason. March is when they want to get married, it’s off peak, a weekday and a small ceremony, so why is it so expensive?

  I’ve been on hold now for over twenty minutes and my patience is wearing thin. If I have to listen to this awful song that they seem to have playing on a constant loop one more time, I think I’m going to scream.

  Lucas is sat on the floor in front of the sofa, playing with his Toy Story Lego set Ellen and Nate got him last Christmas.

  I place my chin in my hand while my elbow rests on the dining table and stare out of the window, and it doesn’t take long for my mind to begins to wander to other things. I think back to how I practically flung myself at Zach the other night after
my drunk emotional breakdown and heat floods to my cheeks. Of all the things that I could become when I’m drunk, I become an emotional wreck with absolutely zero filter. Despite being drunk, and my memories a little distorted, one memory remains perfectly intact, my kiss with Zach. It was perfect. His lips warm, soft but strong, his touch and his scent intoxicating.

  Why did he have to stop it?

  I get that I was drunk and that he didn’t want to take advantage of me in the state I was in, but God I wanted it to happen so bad.

  Because if and when I fuck you, I want you to be sober. I want you to be able to remember what it feels like...

  My heart flutters at the memory, his deep voice, smooth like velvet filling my ears.

  “Hello, Miss Sullivan?” a voice on the other end of the phone says.

  “Yes, hello,” I reply, turning off speaker phone and scrambling to pick it up off the table and lift it to my ear.

  “I have spoken to my manager and we simply can’t do it for that price.”

  “I’ve been on hold for twenty minutes for you to tell me that? This is ridiculous.”

  “I’m very sorry.”

  “I just don’t understand why it’s so expensive, the date is not in peak season and it’s a small ceremony of like thirty people. If this is what you call good business, well y- hello? Hello?” I pull my phone away from my ear and peer down at the screen. The bitch cut me off!

  I toss my phone onto the table and slump back in my seat. Well that’s twenty minutes of my life I’ll never get back. I look down at my list of possible venues. That was the last one. I cross it off and release a deep sigh, throwing my pen down onto the table and slamming my notebook shut.

  Shit. What do I do now?

  Chapter 12

  Gwen

  “Mean Girls,” I say, eyeing up the pristine blonde dressed entirely in pink as she walks by us, her arm extended to the side as she carries a large suede pink handbag while she talks into her phone. “That’s so fetch!” I mock in my best Gretchen Weiners voice.

  We would watch that movie on repeat as much as we could when we were younger, so much so that we wore out the DVD until it was scratched to hell and wouldn’t play anymore.

  “Stop trying to make fetch happen,” Hayley replies, before breaking into a laugh.

  We’re sat on a small table in the centre of the mall at a little coffee stand sipping our drinks.

  “Um…” she trails off, her eyes scanning the flocks of shoppers drifting through the mall. “The Devil Wears Prada.” I follow her eye line to see a well-dressed middle-aged woman sauntering down the centre of the mall followed by a younger woman, carrying armfuls of bags trying to keep up with her as she trails closely behind.

  “Oooh, good one!” I laugh. “Oh! There,” I point to a girl, probably around sixteen or seventeen years old, trailed by a younger looking boy, probably a couple of years younger than she is. Put it this way, she doesn’t seem to be too happy with the attention he’s giving her. “Sixteen Candles.”

  Hayley shakes her head, smiling. “You are way too good at this game.”

  “Years and years of practice, my friend.” I give her a wink and she smiles. “It’s a gift.” I shrug.

  For years Hayley and I have played this game. We would sit in a bar, restaurant, anywhere where there’s people, and we would watch them, trying to guess a movie that suits them. It’s silly, but it’s something we’ve always done, though I can’t for the life of me think when and how it started, but it soon became a tradition.

  “What movie do you think we’d be in?” she asks.

  “Thelma and Louise, obviously,” I reply. “Partners in crime forever.”

  She nods. “Partners in crime forever.” Hayley smiles before taking a sip of her coffee. “I’ve missed this.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  What with both of us having children and other commitments, it’s rare we get to spend some time together, just the two of us. I’ve missed it.

  “You ready to go get some food?”

  “Absolutely.” She finishes off her coffee and head to the restaurant.

  ∞∞∞

  After we’ve eaten at the restaurant in the mall, we went shopping, a little retail therapy never hurt anyone right? Except maybe my bank account.

  When we arrive back at the office to pick up Lucas and Sara, laughter filters in from Kyle’s office. We drop our bags on the ground just outside the door before making our way inside where we find Kyle sat behind his desk, bouncing a giggling Sara on his knee. I look to my right, and my eyes find Zach sat on the floor beside Lucas. I haven’t seen him since the kiss, since I drunkenly threw myself at him, the thought burning my cheeks with humiliation.

  “... so, if I add three dollars to the six I already have, how many do I have now?” Zach asks.

  Lucas sits with his little legs stretched out in front of him, leaning into Zach’s side as he counts on his fingers, the tip of his tongue peeking out one side of his mouth in concentration. “Nine!” he shouts, while holding up nine fingers.

  “Good job, buddy.” Zach holds his hand up and Lucas gives him a high-five.

  My stomach does a little flip, my heart swelling at the sight and I smile as I watch them. They seem to content in each other’s company. With Josh, it took a while for them to hit it off, Josh was very awkward around him at the beginning, but Zach is a natural.

  Zach looks up and his golden eyes find mine. I smile and make my way over to them.

  “Hey, baby,” I ruffle Lucas’s hair and kneel down beside him.

  “Mommy!” He slams into me, wrapping his arms around my neck. I hug him closely to my body before he spins around and sits down in my lap.

  “What have you two been up to?”

  “Zach teach me money.”

  “A little young to be the next Gordon Gecko don’t you think?” I joke.

  “Gecko?” Lucas asks curiously.

  I laugh. “Go and show Aunt Hayley what Zach taught you.”

  He leaps up and runs over to her. “Auntie Hayley! Auntie Hayley!”

  I turn back to Zach. “How are you?” I ask.

  “Good, you?”

  “I’m alright.” I smile awkwardly.

  The atmosphere is so thick with tension you could cut it with a butter knife. We sit in silence for a few moments before he finally speaks.

  “Gwen, what’s up?”

  “Nothing,” I reply too quickly. “I just… after the kiss…”

  “I thought we agreed to forget it?”

  “We did b-” I begin.

  “So what’s the problem?” he asks, cutting me off.

  “Am I that easily forgettable?”

  He sighs. “Gwen, we’ve been through this. We can’t happen, not a year ago, and not now. The other night you were drunk and upset, and we kissed, but that’s all it was. Nothing more.”

  Why is he being like this?

  “Letting me down easy, as always I see. Well thanks again for making me feel like shit.” I stand up without another word and head over to Lucas who is sat on Kyle’s knee. “Come on, baby, let’s go home,” I say, holding out my hand for him.

  We say our goodbyes and head out of the office, I don’t bother to look back at Zach.

  Chapter 13

  Zach

  For some reason, I just can’t get my ass into gear today. I can’t seem to focus. My mind keeps wandering back to the other day in Kyle’s office. I saw the hurt in Gwen’s eyes when I told her that the kiss was forgotten and that nothing could ever come of it.

  But I thought that’s what we agreed? That we agreed to forget it and move on as friends, so why was she making such a huge deal out of it? She was drunk, I lost my head for a moment, my brain in my dick rather than in my skull, something that keeps happening whenever I’m around her.

  Everything is such a mess.

  Unknown number lights up on my phone and for some stupid reason I answer it and instantly regret it.

  “Yeah?” />
  “Zach?” My spine stiffens at the voice on the other end of the phone. A voice I never wanted to hear again.

  “What do you want, Carly?”

  “Can’t your wife check in on you every once in a while? It’s been too long, Zach.”