The Promise

by Natalie Clarke

  I nod.

  “I did some pretty fucked up shit when I met her, things that have me questioning why she’s still with me. After everything that came out about my real father and what happened back then, I was so scared that when she’d look at me, she’d only see him, but by some miracle she overlooked it. I couldn’t help who my father was, just as Gwen can’t, she didn’t choose him.”

  I groan, my head falling into my hands, the heels of my palms digging into my eye sockets in frustration as I rock back and forth in my seat. “I just don’t know what to do.” I run a hand through my hair. “I need some time to think. Figure out what I’m gonna do.”

  Just then, Kyle’s phone begins to buzz on the table. I take in a sharp breath, my heart pounding in my chest.

  Kyle answers it and puts it on speaker. “William. Thank you for calling. I have you on speaker with my partner, Zach.”

  “Kyle. Mr Gilgunn,” he greets.

  “What have you got for us?”

  “We were right, he went to a meeting, same place as last time. The police were waiting for him. Mr Yates and two others were taken into custody. They found the drugs in his car. I don’t think he’ll be getting out of this anytime soon.”

  A weight lifts from my chest. Josh is gone, and Gwen is safe.

  “Good. Thank you, William. I appreciate it,” Kyle says.

  “No problem, Kyle. Anytime.” He hangs up.

  Kyle releases a long sigh of relief and falls back against the back of his chair. “Well, I hope our boy Josh enjoys staring at four walls for the next ten years.” He smirks.

  “Gwen’s safe. That’s all that matters,” I say. “I’m gonna get off.” I stand and head for the large heavy red curtain that separates us from the rest of the room, when Kyle stops me.

  “Zach, go and talk to her. Don’t let it ruin the first shot of happiness that both of you’ve had in a long time.”

  ∞∞∞

  On the ride home, I take a detour, heading towards Queens. There’s no traffic at this time of night so I arrive outside Gwen’s building sooner than I thought.

  I step off the bike, head up to her apartment and knock on her door. The door opens and Gwen’s eyes meet mine, they’re mixed with pain and surprise in equal measure.

  “Hey,” I say.

  “Hey? That’s all you have to say?”

  “I’m sorry.” My head drops. “Can I come in?”

  She pauses for a moment before stepping aside and letting me through. We stand in the middle of her living room awkwardly, both of us not sure on what to do or say.

  “You never returned my calls or texts. Why?” she asks, her arms folded, her voice demanding.

  “What was there to say? You’re dad murdered my parents when I was eight years old.”

  “And that’s somehow my fault? I was just as surprised as you were, and you never even tried to talk to me about it, you just left.”

  “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do, where we go from here.”

  “We work through it, like a normal couple.”

  I shake my head. “I need to get away for a while, get my head around all this.”

  “And what about us?” she asks.

  “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know? So that’s it? After everything we’ve been through? You’re gonna run away like you always do, just like the last time?” Her voice begins to crack.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, me too. I thought we were strong enough to at least try to work it out. I’m sorry that I let you break my heart, again.”

  “I didn’t mean to. Hurting you is the one thing I vowed never to do again, and here I am…”

  “Yeah, here you are, hurting me, again,” she says. She sucks in a sharp breath. “Just go, Zach.”

  I nod slowly. My eyes burn with tears as I turn on my heel, and leave.

  The door slams behind me and I hear her release a cry on the other side of the door and my heart squeezes, but I keep walking. Every step I take hurts more than the last as I get further and further away from her.

  This is for the best. It has to be.

  And just like that, that crystal clear vision of my future shatters into a million pieces.

  ∞∞∞

  When I arrive home, I pack a suitcase, shoving my stuff in without even bothering to fold them up. I book a flight the next flight out of New York to Boston, but the next available one isn’t until noon tomorrow. I would have preferred an earlier flight, but it will have to do.

  I call Kyle, even though it’s late, almost midnight to be exact, which is why he doesn’t answer so I leave a voicemail. “Kyle. I’m leaving for Boston tomorrow, my flight is at noon. I don’t know how long I’ll be there, I just need some time away. I’m sorry. Take care of Gwen and Lucas for me? I know you’ll do a better job than I have.”

  I toss my phone onto the nightstand and crash onto the bed, burying my head in the pillows. It takes hours for sleep to finally find me, the only thing on my mind is the look of hurt on Gwen’s face as I walked out on her, again.

  Chapter 45

  Gwen

  I don’t think I got even two hours sleep last night. My mind reliving my conversation with Zach last night over and over. I can’t believe him, after everything we’ve been through and he’s still running.

  Well fuck him. If that’s what he wants then so be it.

  I’m sat on the floor in front of the couch with Lucas, helping him build his Toy Story Lego set when there’s a pounding on the front door, the sound echoing through my tiny apartment.

  “Lucas, baby, go into your room, okay?”

  He stands up and walks slowly into his room. I wait for his door to close before I get up and head for the front door. Just as I unhook the latch and twist the knob, the door is barged wide open, sending me stumbling back and I shriek.

  “Where the fuck’s your little boyfriend, bitch?” Josh spits as he scours the living room.

  “What the hell are you doing here? Get out of my house!” I shout, shutting the front door and following him inside.

  His face is thunder, eyes wide and nostrils flared in anger. He flings open my bedroom door and takes a look around before coming back out and doing the same in the bathroom. He stalks towards me and slams me hard against the wall, his hand around my throat, his face just inches away from mine. “Tell me where he is!” he seethes.

  “I don’t know where he is, I’m not his keeper.”

  He releases my throat, before his fist collides with the wall by my head, the plaster crumbling with the impact. “I bet it was you who talked him into it, wasn’t it?”

  I edge away from him. “What are you talking about?”

  “Don’t give me that. You know damn well what! You got your boyfriend to set me up.”

  “What? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “I’ve just spent the night in a fucking police cell after being picked up by the cops for possession of cocaine.”

  “Cocaine? Are you joking?”

  “Does it look like I’m fucking joking? Can you see me laughing? I fucking know it was you and your boyfriend who planted them you little bitch. Maybe even got Kyle in on it too!”

  “Josh, I don’t know why you had drugs on you, and to be honest, I don’t really care. But I had nothing to do with this, so just fucking go!”

  “You expect me to believe that bitch?” he booms, closing the distance between us and gripping the tops of my arms roughly.

  “Josh, let me go.” He grips me harder and I wince. “Let me go!”

  “Mommy?” a little voice asks. My eyes find my son, peeking through a gap in his bedroom door, holding the teddy bear he’s had since he was a baby, the toy that he holds onto through a thunderstorm or after a nightmare, the one he clutches when he’s scared.

  “Go back into your room, baby, and close the door, okay?” I ask, giving him a smile.

  “Lucas, bud, come over here,” Josh says.

  �
��No! Lucas, go into your room, please,” I say firmly.

  Lucas looks between us before he disappears back into his room and shuts the door and I sigh in relief. I don’t want him witness to this, but more importantly, I want him safe. I don’t know what Josh is capable of and seeing him in this state makes him unpredictable. A wave of déjà vu washes over me, hitting me with memories of the last time he came here, and what happened after.

  “Maybe I should go get Lucas, use him to get the truth out of you?” He lets me go and starts to head towards Lucas’s room.

  “No! Stay away from my son!” I grip his bicep and pull him back with all my strength, but he shoves me away, pushing hard against my chest and I stumble backwards.

  Then I’m falling.

  Everything happens in slow motion.

  I’m weightless.

  The world around me tilts and I throw out my arms to try to break my fall, but it’s no use.

  There’s a sharp pain at the side of my head.

  And everything fades to black.

  Chapter 46

  Zach

  I woke up to five missed calls from Kyle this morning, each one of them telling me why leaving New York was a bad idea, but for now, it’s the only option. I need to get a handle on this, wrap my head around everything, and for that, I need to be away from Gwen.

  I’ll promise not to break your heart if you promise not to break mine.

  It kills me to leave her, after I promised her I wouldn’t, but I can’t see another way around it.

  I’m halfway across the bridge in the back of a yellow cab on my way to the airport when my phone buzzes in my pocket.

  I pull it out and my heart sinks. Gwen. I know hearing her voice will kill me, but I answer it anyway, to tell her goodbye, I owe her that much, at least.

  “Gwen.”

  “Zach?” Lucas asks. His voice is quiet and shaky.

  Why is he calling me? Something in his voice has me sitting up a little straighter.

  “Lucas, are you alright?”

  He sniffs. “Mommy won’t wake up.”

  “What? What happened?”

  “Josh was here, he angry. There was shouting. Now mommy won’t wake up.”

  Josh was there. A thousand alarm bells are ringing in my head.

  “Lucas, where’s your mommy?”

  “On the floor. She bleeding.”

  Shit. “Buddy, I’m on my way. Go next door and get Rose, okay? Go now!”

  “Okay, Zach.”

  I hang up the phone and turn to the driver. “I need to get to Queens as fast you can, it’s an emergency. Get me there and this one hundred dollar bill is yours.” I hold up the bank note, and I see his eyes glance into the rear-view. He nods and presses on the gas pedal and we begin to move.

  ∞∞∞

  I toss the driver a handful of bills, including the hundred and I’m up and out of the car before we’ve even pulled up to the curb, not bothering about my suitcase that’s still in the trunk.

  An ambulance is parked outside the building, and I’m running, three steps at a time and before I know it, I’m racing down the narrow corridor. Her front door is open, so I head in. Rounding the corner I find Rose holding Lucas in her arms, shielding him from the scene in front of them as two paramedics kneel beside Gwen’s body.

  No, no, no!

  “Gwen!” I collapse onto my knees beside her, placing my hand on her leg. “What happened? Is she okay?” I ask the paramedics.

  She’s still, so still, as she lies unconscious on the living room floor beside the coffee table. A pool of blood has formed at the side of her head, slowly soaking into the carpet. I can’t bear to see her like this, she looks…dead.

  The thought fills me with terror.

  “She’s hit her head pretty badly, she’s unconscious but still breathing. We need to make sure there’s nothing broken before we attempt to move her.”

  I glance to my right where Rose sits with Lucas lying across her lap, his head against her chest as he holds a chocolate brown teddy bear to his own, along with Gwen’s phone. I stand up and drop into a crouch in front of them. I reach for Lucas, cupping his little cheek in the palm of my hand. “Are you okay, buddy?”

  His eyes meet mine and he shakes his head, his chin trembling. He twists his body, dropping the bear and the phone and holds out his arms to me. I lift him and hold him tightly, clutching his head against my shoulder as his little legs wrap around my middle. I kiss the top of his head. “Everything’s gonna be alright, Lucas. I promise. Mommy’s gonna be fine.”

  I never should have left her, left them. I should have been here to protect them.

  “Is mommy gonna die?”

  “No, of course not. Lucas, you saved her. You saved your mommy by calling me. You're so clever.” I squeeze him tighter.

  “Alright, we’re going to move her now,” one of the paramedics announces as the other finishes securing a thick white neck collar around her to stabilise her neck.

  I nod and turn back to Rose. “Can you stay with him? I’m going with her,” I ask, handing Lucas over to her.

  “Of course.” She smiles.

  “Thank you.” I glance to where the paramedics are placing her unconscious body on the cot, and a wave of guilt wracks through me. “This is all my fault,” I choke out through the boulder sized lump in my throat.

  Rose places a hand on my bicep. “Don’t say that, love. You weren’t to know what would happen.”

  “I should have been here.” The paramedics begin wheeling her out. “Hey, can I stay with her in the ambulance?” I ask.

  “Are you family, Sir?”

  “Yeah, I’m practically the only family she’s got,” I lie.

  “Alright.”

  I know there was no way they’d let me ride with her if I told them the truth. The funny thing is, she’s the only family I’ve got. Leaving is no longer an option, Gwen needs me, just as I need her, and I can’t lose her. I can’t lose another person that I love.

  Love.

  I love her.

  “Lucas, you stay with Rose, okay?”

  “Okay, Zach,” he says sorrowfully.

  “Everything will be okay.” I kiss his forehead, letting my lips linger for a moment. “I love you, buddy.” I reach for Gwen’s phone which lies on the couch and give Rose a smile before following the paramedics and Gwen out of the room.

  I sit beside her in the ambulance, clutching her hand in mine as I shoot Kyle a text telling him to get to the hospital.

  Gwen groans beside me and my head snaps up. “Gwen? Baby, can you hear me?”

  “Zach?” she whispers, trying to move but she winces.

  “Baby, don’t move. You hit your head pretty bad, you need to stay still, okay?” I pull her hand towards me gently and press my lips to the back of it as I clutch it tighter.

  “Zach,” she repeats lazily, her eyes heavy, barely even open.

  “I’m so sorry, Gwen. I’m here now.” I lean over and press my lips to her forehead. “I love you,” I whisper, but she doesn’t hear me as she’s drifted back to sleep.

  “Should she be asleep? I mean, what if she has concussion?” I ask the female paramedic who sits on the opposite side of Gwen.

  Isn’t that what we’re told? That people with concussion or head injuries shouldn’t fall asleep?

  “She’s stable for the moment, and we’re monitoring her. We’ll know more when we reach the hospital where she will undergo some tests and scans to determine the full extent of her injuries. Don’t worry. She will be alright,” the paramedic assures me with a kind smile.

  We arrive at the hospital and they wheel Gwen away through a set of double doors where they say I can’t go.

  I need to be with her.

  ∞∞∞

  A short while later, Kyle, Hayley, and his parents arrive, and I explain everything that I know myself, well, as much as I can gather from the little information Lucas told me. Hayley and Ellen both begin to cry, Nate leans forward, elbows on
his knees staring at the floor while Kyle paces back and forth in the middle of the waiting room.

  “Fuck. We need to call the police,” Kyle says.

  I scrub a hand over my stubbled jaw. I didn’t even bother to shave this morning before I left my apartment on the way to the airport, that was the least of my concern.