The Game of Love

by Heather Graham

  “My wife. Oh, God, Jade, I do love you so much.” His fingers moved in her hair, tenderly, gently.

  “Oh, Jeff…I love you.”

  He kissed her, stroked her cheeks, stared into her eyes. Then he sighed and rolled away, rising, stretching. She stared at the marvelous line of his shoulders, back and buttocks.

  “We’ve got a plane to catch,” he said softly, and disappeared into the bathroom.

  They made the airport—and their plane—on time.

  “When we land,” Jeff told Jade, “I’ll take you to your car. You can get Sean from Toby’s, run by your house for a few things, then come back to the Grange.”

  His fingers were curled easily around hers, but he was smoking. That meant he was nervous. Jade’s stomach quivered uneasily.

  She was his wife; there could be no going back. The afternoon had shown her just how wonderful love could be. But now, though she despised herself for it, she was afraid again. Afraid of facing a nine-year-old boy, and even more afraid of that child’s mother.

  “Maybe,” Jade muttered softly, “it would be better if we kept our marriage a secret for a while. If I just went home—”

  “No deal! Absolutely no dice!” Jeff grated out harshly, reminding her that the tender lover she had married could also be a hard man, dangerous when crossed. “If you aren’t back at the house by nine o’clock, I’ll be out looking for you.”

  “But Ryan—”

  “Ryan is my child. I am the parent. I can’t let him run my life.”

  “How will you feel,” Jade asked, “if your child decides to go live with his mother? He’s nine years old. Diana just might be able to walk into a courtroom and ask for custody if Ryan starts to say he wants to live with her.”

  “That’s my problem,” Jeff said curtly.

  “Your problem? We’re married now—”

  “Don’t worry about it!” he snapped. “Trust me—no court in the world would give her custody.”

  There was a sudden distance between them, and it hadn’t disappeared by the time the plane landed. Jade ached, knowing that she loved him with her heart, but fearing that their hurried marriage had been a mistake.

  A mistake? It was too late if it was. The deed was done; she was his wife. Wife. She mouthed the word. It was still a little unbelievable.

  It was dark when he dropped her off at her car. “I mean it, Jade,” he warned. “Nine o’clock. Talk to Sean and be there by then, or I’ll come out and bring you home myself.”

  “Hey, you’re my husband, not my keeper,” she reminded him lightly. He didn’t laugh, nor did he acknowledge the difference.

  “Nine o’clock, Jade.”

  His Lincoln disappeared down the street. Jade sighed nervously and drove a little slowly to Toby’s.

  When she pulled into his driveway, both he and Lynn were waiting. They rushed out and kissed her. Sean followed more slowly, frowning, and Jade knew he hadn’t been told anything, but that he was suspicious.

  She thanked Toby and Lynn, smiled at Sean as he seated himself next to her and told him cheerfully that she’d have some news for him as soon as she reached the house.

  “I know. You married him, didn’t you?”

  He was looking straight ahead, through the windshield and into the night. Jade couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling.

  “I—yes, Sean, I did. I meant to tell you before…before we actually did it. There were problems—”

  “I know. Ryan. I hate that kid.”

  “Sean—”

  Sean turned to her angrily. “Didn’t you hear him! How can you defend him, Mom, after everything he said?”

  They weren’t anywhere near home, but Jade pulled off the road, anyway, and took him into her arms.

  “Oh, Sean. Yes, I heard him. But don’t you understand? That wasn’t Ryan talking. He’s hurt, and he’s confused—”

  “Because of his mother.”

  “Sean,” she said, smoothing back his wonderful corn-colored hair and searching his eyes in the glow of the street lights. “You have to kind of look at it all from a distance, or go a little crazy,” she admitted. “I don’t think that Diana is really a bad person. She’s just very beautiful and accustomed to getting what she wants. Jeff doesn’t love her anymore; and she doesn’t know how to deal with it, so she uses Ryan. Can you understand that?”

  He had tears in his eyes; he lowered his head.

  “My father wouldn’t have been like that.”

  Jade hugged him closely, wondering just how much he had fathomed about her and Danny.

  “No, he wouldn’t have been,” she said.

  “You loved him, didn’t you?”

  “With all my heart.”

  That was true. She had loved Danny. Really loved him. And it was true, too, that Danny never would have used Sean to manipulate her the way Diana was using Ryan.

  “What do you think?” she asked her son. “I mean—”

  “I like Jeff. I like him a lot. It’ll be kind of like having a real live hero for a stepfather. Like a dream.”

  “Oh, I’m so glad, Sean—”

  “But I hate Ryan!”

  “Sean! Please—” she began, but he interrupted her quickly.

  “I’m not going to do anything. As long as he’s okay to me, I’ll be okay to him.”

  “Sean—”

  “Are we moving in tonight?” he asked her, changing the subject. He wasn’t about to promise her any more.

  “Yes,” she said, and put the Corvette into gear once more.

  “I love the Grange,” Sean remarked. “It’s really neat.” He was quiet for a minute. “And big. Ryan and I should be able to stay out of each other’s way.”

  It took Jade longer than she’d expected to pick up the few things she needed for the night. Still it was only 9:05 when she pulled into the long driveway at the Grange.

  Apparently Jeff had meant his threat seriously. He was out in front, just about to slide into the driver’s seat of the Lincoln.

  He smiled when he saw her, though, and came around to help carry bags and parcels out of the car.

  “Hi, Sean. I take it your mom talked to you. How do you feel about things?”

  Sean grinned. “Fine, sir.”

  “Good, I’m glad,” Jeff said, leading the way to the front door. He glanced at Jade. “Why don’t you take your stuff on up to our bedroom. I’ll show Sean his. Then he can have some hot chocolate and head for bed, since tomorrow’s a school day.”

  “I—” Jade hesitated uneasily. She wasn’t sure if she wanted Sean and Jeff alone together right now.

  “Uh, where’s Ryan?” she asked.

  “In bed already,” Jeff replied briefly. “Go on up, Jade. I’ll take care of Sean. Mattie is in the kitchen if you need her for anything.”

  She smiled a little weakly, then started up the stairs, longing to be with the two of them, praying that things would go smoothly. She knew that Jeff and Sean would have to be alone together sometime. It was a beginning to making things work, to making the magic real.

  In the bedroom, she stood before the tower window and felt the winter’s breeze from the bay. She smiled slowly, thinking of the day when she’d stood here, and he had challenged her to make love to him.

  Strange, that the house should feel so cold tonight, that after all the passion of the afternoon, there could be such tension between them.

  The breeze touched her face again, seemed to caress her cheeks. It would be okay. It would be okay when they were together again. They would make it work.

  * * *

  Jeff didn’t have any problems with Sean at all. Sean seemed quite impressed by the size of his room, and quite pleased by the view from his window, which looked out on the bay.

  “I’ll bet you can see boats out there a lot, huh?”

  “Umm. Almost all the time,” Jeff agreed. “We can get a boat if you want, but we’ll have to be careful. I don’t know much about sailing.”

  “Mom does,” Sean as
sured him. “My dad loved boats. They used to sail a lot. You don’t have to go far to go conching or fishing.”

  “Sounds nice,” Jeff said.

  “It is!” Sean said enthusiastically. “You mean, we can really get a boat?”

  “Sure. We’ve got a dock out back.”

  “Wow,” Sean said, sinking down on his bed.

  Jeff smiled. “Why don’t you go on down and ask Mattie for hot chocolate now. It’s getting later and later.”

  Sean nodded and then looked at him a little defiantly. “I don’t have to change my name, do I? There’s nothing wrong with yours, it’s just that—well, you’re not my father. And I…he…”

  “You don’t have to change your name. I know that you loved your father very much. His name is yours. No one can take that away from you. You’ll always have him—you just have me, too, now.”

  Jeff grinned, then started to leave the bedroom. Sean called him back. “Hey, Jeff?”

  “Hmm?”

  “That’s it?”

  “What’s it?”

  Sean squirmed a little. “Aren’t you going to give me a…a lecture, or something? Like how I have to listen to you, toe the line and all that stuff.”

  Jeff hesitated a second. He lowered his eyes, smiled again, then forced himself to put on a serious expression.

  “No, Sean, I’m not going to give you any lectures. You’ve always listened to me before. And you’re old enough to use common sense. We’ll just see how things go, huh?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I guess.”

  Jeff started to leave again; Sean called him back again. “Jeff?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Ryan and me…we don’t get along very well, you know.”

  “Ryan will learn to shape up” was all that Jeff said. He left, and Sean didn’t call him back again.

  “I’m glad I’m not in your shoes, Ryan Martin,” Sean mumbled aloud to himself.

  * * *

  At ten o’clock, Jeff, Jade and Sean were sitting out by the pool drinking hot chocolate. Jeff decided he was hungry; Jade said that she wasn’t. But as soon as Mattie brought Jeff a thinly sliced steak sandwich, Jade found it smelled delicious, and ate half of it. Sean laughed as the two of them argued playfully over the sandwich. Mattie sighed maternally and came back shortly with another plate of sandwiches. Finally, even Sean, who’d had pork roast already at Toby’s, found that he was starving.

  It was eleven when they went up to bed. Sean walked past Ryan’s door and wondered unhappily if his new stepbrother had been watching them or if he had cried himself to sleep. Sean wanted to feel triumphant; he didn’t. He just felt sorry for Ryan.

  Jade felt even worse. When they were behind the closed door of their tower room, she turned quickly to Jeff.

  “Jeff, what happened with Ryan?”

  He shrugged out of his shirt, grimacing as he went to toss it in the hamper in the bathroom.

  “Nothing,” he said at last.

  “What do you mean, nothing?” Jade persisted.

  “Just what I said. Nothing.”

  “Damn you, Jeff, don’t shut me out of this.”

  He sighed, continuing to strip. “I’m not shutting you out, Jade. It’s just that nothing happened. I told him that you and I had gotten married, and that if he didn’t like it, I was sorry. He didn’t say anything at all. He asked if he could go to bed, and I said fine.”

  His clothing was all off. He looked fantastic nude, Jade decided a little resentfully. He seemed so comfortable and natural, smiling as he paused in front of her and started removing her clothing.

  “Jeff—” She tried to turn to face him, but his grip on her zipper prevented it. Its rasp interrupted the flow of her words. “Jeff…Jeff, I feel so awful. Maybe one of us should have gone to his room. We need to tread gently with him.” She stepped out of her dress, able to face him at last.

  He shook his head. “I think it’s better to let him come to us. If we beg him to join us, he’ll feel that he’s winning. Then he’ll just turn away more. If we ignore him, he’ll come out of his shell eventually.”

  Was Jeff right? She didn’t know.

  “I feel so guilty…” she muttered.

  His hands were on her again, stripping away the last of her clothing. With long strides he carried her to the bed that was now—miraculously—half hers. Married. They’d gotten married today. She was his wife.

  “The thing that I feel guilty about is gypping you out of a honeymoon,” he said, kissing her deeply, then spreading her hair out on the pillow.

  She felt happy again. Secure…and excited. “We didn’t really need a honeymoon,” she replied. “This is surely the most beautiful place on earth,” she said huskily. “I have you, the sea breeze, this lovely room…”

  “My feelings exactly,” he told her. “Eden, my love, exists wherever you walk. Or lie, actually.”

  “Ouch! That sounds decadent.”

  “I love being decadent.”

  “Well, this is certainly decadent. I can’t imagine making love so many times in one day. It seems…illicit. Immoral. Definitely decadent.”

  “It seems like a hell of a lot of fun to me,” Jeff said, correcting her with a husky chuckle. The things he said next were far more than decadent. They were hoarse and guttural, and they elicited a passion that did indeed make an Eden of their tower room.

  She rested later, happy in his arms. She moaned slightly when he moved against her again, and accused him once more of decadence. He reminded her that it was their wedding night and said they were supposed to be decadent. Again she laughed, and before long her laughter became gasps, then whimpers and moans.

  She knew it was about four o’clock when she finally dozed off. She remembered seeing the time on her luminous wristwatch as she fell asleep, contented in his arms.

  When the phone started ringing, she happened to catch sight of the time again. It was 5:00.

  Jeff swore slightly and told her to go back to sleep. He would take the call in the den.

  “Who would call at this time of night?” she asked him with a yawn? He didn’t answer her, and she was so exhausted that she fell back to sleep without pressing the point.

  The next thing she knew, there was an obnoxious buzzing sound in her ear; as she came slowly awake, she realized that it was the alarm sounding.

  Maybe it was a good thing she couldn’t find the off switch right away, because she would have gone back to sleep. By the time she found the right button, she was wide awake. Wide awake, frowning with a headache, and wondering where on earth Jeff had gone. He was nowhere to be found in the bedroom, bathroom or den.

  Muttering beneath her breath, she quickly showered, dressed, and raced down the stairs. She found Mattie in the kitchen. Mattie, bless her capable heart, instantly handed Jade a cup of tea. Not coffee—tea. Jeff had apparently advised Mattie about Jade’s habits.

  “Where’s Jeff?” she asked the housekeeper.

  “I really don’t know,” Mattie replied cheerfully, turning back to her frying pan of fluffy scrambled eggs. “He must have gone out quite early. Breakfast is just about ready. Where are those boys?”

  “I’ll call them,” Jade said. She went back to the foot of the stairs, annoyed at the nervousness she felt at the prospect of seeing Ryan, and furious with Jeff for leaving her to do it alone.

  “Ryan! Sean! Come on down for breakfast. And hurry—you’ll be late for school!”

  “Coming!” Sean called down to her.

  Ryan gave no answer.

  Jade wandered back into the kitchen. “What will you have, dear?” Mattie asked her.

  “Just the tea right now, thanks.”

  Ryan appeared in the doorway, his eyes downcast. Silently, he took a seat at the counter.

  “Morning, young man,” Mattie said cheerfully.

  “Morning,” Ryan mumbled.

  Sean appeared next. He kissed his mother, gazed at the place setting arranged for him next to Ryan, hesitated, stiffened, but then got ont
o his stool. “Hi, Ryan.”

  “Hi,” Ryan returned.

  “I think I’ll find the newspaper,” Jade said. She went outside, annoyed to find it on the lawn, which probably meant that Jeff had left really early since he hadn’t brought it in.

  She went back to the kitchen. Mattie was chatting about the nice weather. “What an improvement,” she told Jade with a wink. “When I left Chicago there was a wind chill factor of thirty below. I’m going to like this place.”

  Jade smiled. Sean told Mattie that he wished he could see snow. Just once, he’d like to be able to build a snowman.

  “I’ve never made a snowman in my whole life.”

  “It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be,” Ryan answered.

  Well, at least he’s talking to Sean, if not to me, Jade thought. She glanced at her watch. It was getting late. She hesitated. Ryan was in a private school; Sean was in public classes. She wondered whether they should go to the same school from now on; maybe it was a good thing that they didn’t.

  “Sean, come on. We have to go. Ryan, do you want me to take you in?”

  He didn’t look at her, but he answered her civilly. “No, thank you. The bus will come.”

  “Okay,” Jade said. “Sean, let’s go.”

  She dropped him off at school, then decided to stop by her own house for a few more things. It was about ten when she came back to the Grange; she noted that the Lincoln was back in front of the house, and her temper quickened. She wanted to rip out a handful of Jeff’s hair for leaving her alone that morning.

  The door slammed behind her as she entered the house. Mattie came running out to the foyer.

  “Oh, there you are; Jeff was just asking for you.”

  “Where is he?” Jade asked tensely.

  “Up in the den.”

  “Thanks.”

  Jade stomped up the steps and into the den. Jeff was behind his desk. He was in a suit, and he looked tired and strained as he leaned back in the chair. He wasn’t doing anything but rubbing his temples with his thumb and forefinger. He winced and opened his eyes as Jade appeared before him.