by Joy Argento
“Thank you. You look pretty wonderful yourself.” Madison was wearing a button-down shirt with several buttons undone, showing a generous amount of skin. Ali realized she was staring and brought her eyes up to Madison’s. Those gorgeous brown eyes.
“Are you ready to go? We have reservations for seven.”
Ali was surprised. “You made reservations?”
“I want to do this right. I found the nicest restaurant in town—I hope. Their lobster and steak, the most expensive thing on the menu, is five-star rated.”
Ali wasn’t sure if Madison was telling the truth or teasing her. She would have been happy with Burger King, although she was a little overdressed for that.
“Let me just find a vase for these.” Ali had no idea if she even owned a vase. She was more the flower giver than the flower receiver in her previous relationships. She finally found a heavy beer stein in her cupboard that would do. She knew enough to clip the bottoms of the stems before submerging them in the water.
“Wait,” Madison said as Ali was about to open the door.
Ali turned to her. “What?”
Madison put her hands on each side of Ali’s shoulders and gently pulled her in. She planted a light kiss on Ali’s lips. “I would like to acknowledge that I just kissed you. And I liked it.”
Ali laughed, pulled Madison closer by her collar, and kissed her hard enough to leave her lips a deeper shade of red and looking a bit swollen.
“And I liked that even more,” Madison said when Ali finally let her loose.
“I’m glad we can talk about it.”
“I’m the only one doing the talking.”
“I liked it too. A lot.”
“I think this new start is going great so far.” Madison smiled.
“It is. The first fifteen minutes have been good.”
“Only good?”
“Great.” She pulled Madison in for one more kiss. “Really great.”
* * *
The restaurant valet opened the car door. Madison slipped out of the seat and handed him her keys. She hadn’t been joking. This was one of the nicest places in Syracuse. Ali had never eaten here but had heard great things about it and knew it was expensive. A stone walkway, limestone, Ali guessed, led to a set of glass frosted doors, etched with the name of the establishment. She was impressed and they hadn’t even walked in yet.
They were seated right away, bypassing several couples waiting for tables. The double-sided fireplace in the center of the restaurant gave off a warm, subtle scent of burning wood. “How did you manage this on such short notice?” Ali ran her hand over the woven white tablecloth.
“I managed. I sold my soul, but you’re worth it.” Madison smiled at her.
“I’m not sure I want a soulless girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend? I like that.”
“It’s the soulless part that I’m worried about.”
The waitress appeared to take their drink orders. Ali was determined not to drink too much. She needed to keep her wits about her. That also assured them a safe ride home if Madison happened to have one too many. “I lied,” Madison said.
That got Ali’s attention.
“I didn’t really sell my soul.”
Ali pretended to wipe her brow. “That’s a relief. Was it your body? Did you sell your body? Because I have to tell you that is some body. You probably could have gotten several reservations and maybe even a few free meals with it.”
“No. I am saving myself for you. Only you, no matter how many free meals I’m offered.”
All this talk about Madison’s body sent a surge of electricity through Ali that landed squarely in her center. Her mind went back to the last night she spent at Madison’s house and Madison naked underneath her. She swallowed hard and couldn’t help but smile.
“What’s that grin for?” Madison asked.
“Just thinking about your body. It is a wonderland.”
“That sounds like a song.”
“It is a song. Want me to sing it to you?”
“I bring you out to a nice restaurant and you threaten me with that?”
Ali laughed. Their wine arrived in record time saving Madison from listening to her sing.
The waitress listed off the specials, recommending the seared salmon with lemon butter.
“Is there onion or garlic in that?” Ali asked. The last thing she wanted tonight was garlic breath.
“No, ma’am.”
“I’ll have that.”
“I thought you wanted something fancy?” Madison said.
“I live a simple life. Salmon is fancy to me.” Ali smiled and was rewarded with a smile in return. It lit up Madison’s face, making her even more beautiful.
Madison ordered the same. “I’m so glad we’re here,” she said to Ali once they were alone again. “I meant everything I said today, Ali. I want to give this all I’ve got.”
“I appreciate that. I’m willing to do the same.” Ali wasn’t sure how it was going to work, seeing as they lived three hundred and thirty-two miles apart—the exact distance from her door to Madison’s door. But somehow, they would work it out. She was sure of it. She pushed away thoughts about obstacles and gave her full attention to Madison.
“Tell me about your books being on the New York Times Best Seller list.”
“There’s not much to tell. My third book made the list and three books after that did as well. It helps with sales.”
“Why are you so modest? I would be screaming it from the rooftops.”
Ali sipped her wine and considered her answer. “I haven’t really thought about it before. I think I’ve just been floating through life, not really clinging to anything. That would include my books. I write them and send them into the world on their own to sink or swim. Luckily, they have done well.”
“It must be more than luck. You must have skill. Do you still feel like you’re floating?”
“You certainly ask some deep questions.”
“I want to know you again, Ali. It’s important to me. You’re important to me.” Ali smiled. She liked Madison’s questions and wanted to give her honest answers. It helped her to be honest with herself as well, something she hadn’t been doing for a long time. “I felt more grounded when I was back in Clyde than I have in a long time. It anchored me. If I’m really being honest, you anchored me.”
“Was it hard leaving and coming back here?”
“The hard part was leaving you. Syracuse has been fine. Not a bad place to live. But it feels less like home since I’ve been back.”
“What keeps you here?”
Ali hadn’t done this much soul searching in a long time. She had been trying to figure out her feelings since she’d arrived back. Madison’s questions helped her figure things out in a way her own questions hadn’t been quite able to do. “Charley.” Plain and simple. That was all she really valued here.
“Are you in love with him?” Was that a bit of jealousy in Madison’s voice?
Ali’s laugh came out like a snort. “Charley is not my type. The penis thing gets in the way. I’m as gay as they come.” She paused. “He’s been my best friend since college. I love him. But in love with him? No.”
Their food arrived and the smell of fresh salmon and lemon filled the air around them. Ali took a bite. It tasted as good as it smelled. They fell into a comfortable silence as they enjoyed their food.
Madison broke the quiet after several bites. “The letter you sent me—and the other women you’ve had relationships with…”
Ali put her fork down. “Yes.”
“You had said you only had it partially figured out. Did you ever figure out the rest—why your relationships weren’t successful? Did you get the answers you were after?”
“It took a while and a trip back to Maryland, but yes. I was the reaso
n.”
“What do you mean?”
“I realized that I didn’t consider myself important in the relationships. I just went along for the ride, always letting the other person drive. They didn’t work because I wasn’t really into them.”
“That’s sad.”
“The thing I’ve figured out is I am important. My wants, my needs, they matter. I am never going to settle again. I’ve done that too many times. I want a true partnership.”
“Of course, you’re important. Why did you think you weren’t?”
“How is everything?” the waitress was back, interrupting their conversation. It gave Ali a little extra time to figure out the best way to answer Madison’s question.
“Excellent,” Madison answered.
“Anything else I can get for you?”
“I think we’re all set. Ali?”
Ali shook her head.
Madison repeated her question once the waitress left. “When I thought you chose someone else over me, it cut me. I felt like a piece of me was gone. Like I didn’t deserve to be who I am.”
Madison reached across the table and took Ali’s hand. The warmth of it spread through Ali. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“How could you? I did it to myself. I built a shield around myself and chose people…” Ali stopped and considered her words. “No. That’s not right. I didn’t choose. I let people choose me. But I had no real interest in letting them in. It was safer that way.”
“And now—with me?”
“Madison, you’ve always been in my heart. I don’t have to work on letting you in, because you never left.”
It occurred to Ali that the only other person she’d had deep conversations with, in many years, was Charley. She’d never talked to any of her girlfriends like this, so raw, so exposed and at the same time, so safe.
“Ali, I feel the same. You’ve always been with me. I just built a wall around those feelings to protect myself from the pain. I took my time taking that wall down, brick by brick. The more time we spent together, the more bricks came down.”
“Are there any bricks left?”
Madison seemed to roll the question around in her mind. “I would like to say no, but the truth is, I think there are still a couple there. The mortar around them is gone, so the foundation is weak. It won’t take much to knock them down.”
“I appreciate your honesty. That was very creatively said, by the way. Maybe you should be a writer too.”
Madison laughed. “I don’t think so. I’ll leave that to you. Someone has to make the donuts in this world.”
“True. This would be a sad place without donuts.”
The dinner and the company were stellar. They pulled into Ali’s parking lot and Madison walked Ali to her door. “I had a wonderful time tonight,” Madison said.
“Would you like to come in for a nightcap?”
“Absolutely.”
Ali unlocked the door and Madison followed her in. “Where are you staying?” They hadn’t discussed sleeping arrangements and Ali assumed she had a hotel room. She couldn’t imagine that Madison had gotten herself ready for their date in a gas station restroom or her car.
“The Holiday Inn.”
“Is your stuff already there or is it in your car?” Should she ask Madison to stay the night—in the guest room?
“There.”
Madison obviously hadn’t planned on them spending the night together either. It left Ali feeling a little conflicted. On one hand she was glad Madison hadn’t assumed anything. And on the other she was a little disappointed that Madison hadn’t assumed anything.
“Wine?” Ali asked.
“Water would be fine.”
“Sit.” Ali fetched them both a glass of water. She set them down on the coffee table and sat next to Madison on the couch.
“I would like to kiss you,” Madison said. “If that’s okay with you.”
Ali tapped her chin. “Hmm. Yes. I guess that would be okay.”
Madison kissed her lightly on the cheek.
“Well, that was disappointing,” Ali said.
“You’ve had better?”
“You’ve done better.”
“Can I have a do-over?”
Ali handed Madison her glass of water. “Here. Drink this, while I think about it.”
Madison had barely taken a sip when Ali snatched the glass out of her hand, spilling a few drops on the coffee table as she set it back down. “I thought about it and you can have a do-over.” Without waiting for a response, she kissed Madison full on the mouth.
“Now that is a kiss,” Madison said when Ali let her up for air. “I see what you mean. How’s this?” She kissed Ali on the cheek again, longer and with more pressure.
“Nope. You still don’t have it. You need to add some tongue action in.”
Madison gave her another kiss on the cheek that ended with her flicking her tongue across Ali’s skin.
Ali wiped her cheek and laughed. “I think you need more practice. You don’t quite have it down yet.”
Madison wrapped her arms around Ali, pulled her in close, and kissed her deeply. Ali’s body responded like a drowning person would respond to a full breath of air. She was trembling by the time Madison finished.
“How was that?”
Ali had trouble speaking. “Fine,” she managed to squeak out.
“More practice?”
“Practice is good.”
Madison kissed her again, her tongue sweeping across Ali’s lips until they parted, giving Madison full access. Ali’s brain shut down as her body came alive. She pulled Madison closer and raked her fingers through her hair. The kiss continued until Ali moved her hands to Madison’s breasts.
Madison pulled back. “I’m not going to be able to stop if you keep doing that.”
“Who said I want you to stop?” Ali attempted to pull Madison back in.
“You said you wanted to take it slow. This is not taking it slow.”
“I’ve changed my mind.” She attempted to pull Madison back into the kiss again.
“Ali, I don’t want to do anything to mess this up. As much as I want you—and I do want you—we should wait.”
“Why?” The heat in Ali’s body engulfed her. Her center was on fire.
“I’m sure there was a reason, but I can’t think of it right now.” Madison sat back, moving farther away from Ali. “I need space so I can remember it.”
Ali filled the gap between them and lightly kissed Madison on the mouth. “Are you thinking?”
“That is not helping.”
“So sorry.” She kissed her again with a little more pressure.
“We should get to know each other all over again. That was the reason. I remembered it.”
“What do you want to know?” Ali planted small kisses along Madison’s jawline and down her neck, the skin soft under her lips.
“If you had a goldfish, what would you name her? Can you even tell if it’s a her?”
Ali’s kisses trailed off and she sat up. “What are you doing?”
“I’m trying to figure out if this is a good idea.”
“And questions about an imaginary goldfish helps how?”
“Ali, what happens tomorrow if we do this now?”
“Tomorrow we do it again. Do you not want this? Am I making assumptions here?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer. Madison took Ali’s hand and placed it over her heart. “What does this tell you?” Madison’s heart was pounding, and Ali thought it might jump out of her chest at any moment. “I want this. I want to make sure it’s what you really want, and you won’t regret it in the morning.”
“As long as you are still here in the morning, I won’t regret it.” She searched Madison’s eyes for the truth.
“I won’t e
ver desert you like that again. I promise.”
“Then I want this.”
Madison needed no further prompting. She pushed Ali backward and climbed on top of her.
“Stop.”
Madison pushed herself up. “What?”
“Bedroom.”
Madison followed Ali to her room. It was as simple and as comfortable looking as the living room had been, except for numerous decorative pillows cluttering the bed. Ali took no time sweeping them to the floor and pulling back the covers.
Madison brought her focus back to the woman before her. She was done asking. Done hesitating. She unzipped Ali’s pants and slipped her hand inside, between Ali’s thighs. Ali was wet. Oh, so deliciously wet. She stroked Ali with her thumb and slipped a finger inside her. Ali’s moan told her all she needed to know.
Ali’s mouth was on her neck, licking and sucking as Madison pushed her fingers into her swollen flesh below. They stopped long enough to shed their clothes and Madison slid a single finger across Ali’s folds and into her again and plunged her tongue into Ali’s eager mouth. Without breaking contact, Madison walked Ali back toward the bed, wrapped her free arm around her back, and gently lowered her before crawling in on top of her. She replaced her hand with her leg and pressed it hard between Ali’s thighs.
Ali kissed her with the same passion that Madison felt. Her kiss became more insistent as her tongue entered Madison’s mouth. A moan came up from deep within Madison and was quickly swallowed by Ali. their tongues fought for space in a dance around each other.
The wetness in Madison’s center grew with each thrust of her leg.
Ali let out another gasp as Madison replaced her leg with her fingers again. Ali’s juices were slick and warm, and Madison’s finger slipped in and out easily. She increased her speed and pressure as she felt Ali’s passion rise. Ali pulled her mouth away and let out a sound, deep from her throat as her muscles tightened around Madison’s fingers and she came in a rush. Her pleasure became Madison’s pleasure and Madison clamped her own legs together against the sensation. Ali tightened her arms around Madison for several long seconds. She found Madison’s mouth again and kissed her.