by Tina Beckett
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’
Sean stopped dead when Molly came hurrying after him. That she was furiously angry was obvious and he experienced a momentary qualm. Maybe he shouldn’t have interfered like that but the thought of her and Humphreys getting cosy was more than he could swallow. He adopted an expression of bewilderment as he turned to face her.
‘I’m sorry...?’
‘Don’t give me that!’ She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. ‘You know exactly what you’ve done. You, quite deliberately too, came up with that to stop me going out with Adam, didn’t you?’
‘I merely reminded you that you had a previous engagement,’ Sean replied in his most ingenuous tone. He shrugged. ‘I’m sure you don’t want to disappoint Bert and Doris, do you?’
‘No. But that’s not the point, is it?’
‘Isn’t it? So why do you imagine I butted in to your conversation like that?’ he said evenly although his heart was thumping. Did he really want Molly to guess just how much he hated the thought of her dating Humphreys when it would give rise to so many awkward questions?
‘I have no idea,’ she began and then stopped abruptly when a middle-aged man came hurrying in through the main doors. ‘Oh, that’s Joyce’s husband—Ted. He’s going to be devastated when he finds out what’s happened to her.’
‘Take him into the relatives’ room and we’ll talk to him in there,’ Sean said quickly, hating himself for feeling so relieved at the interruption. ‘Once we’ve explained what’s happened then maybe you can take him up to Recovery. Joyce should be finished in Theatre soon and I’m sure he will want to see her.’
‘What if she didn’t make it?’ Molly said with a catch in her voice.
‘Then we would have heard by now.’ He reached over and squeezed her hand. ‘I left a message with the theatre sister to phone us if anything happened.’
‘Oh, right. Well, I suppose that’s a good sign,’ she said quietly.
Sean let her go, watching as she hurried over to Joyce’s husband and led him towards the relatives’ room. He went to the phone and called Recovery to get an update on Joyce’s condition. She had come through the operation successfully but she was being kept sedated as it was hoped that it would help her brain to heal. Although the person he spoke to didn’t say as much, he knew that it was still touch and go. Now he had to try and explain all of that to Joyce’s husband the least stressful way he could.
Molly sat quietly as she listened to Sean explaining the extent of Joyce’s injuries to Ted Summers. He didn’t try to paint a brighter picture but carefully and methodically outlined the difficulties Joyce faced. Molly’s heart ached when she heard the compassion in his voice. Sean had always been marvellous with grieving relatives and now she understood why he was able to empathise with them to such an extent. He had been on the receiving end of devastating news like this when Claire had died and he had first-hand knowledge of how it felt to have your hopes and dreams ripped apart.
It made her anger over the way he had butted into her conversation with Adam seem very trivial. Maybe she didn’t understand his reasons for doing so but it obviously wasn’t jealousy at the thought of her and Adam going out together, not when she could hear the underlying grief in his voice. Sean was remembering Claire, recalling how devastated he had felt when he had lost her; how devastated he still felt, in fact. Molly found herself suddenly wishing with every fibre of her being that one day he would be able to move on, even if she wouldn’t be around to help him.
‘I’m sorry the news isn’t better, Ted. All I can say is that Joyce has come this far and that’s a positive sign.’ Sean stood up, bringing an end to the meeting. ‘I’m sure you must want to see her so Molly is going to take you to Recovery. Joyce will be moved from there to ICU very shortly.’
‘Thank you.’ Ted Summers rose shakily to his feet. He looked completely poleaxed by what he had heard and Molly hurriedly got up and put a guiding hand under his elbow to lead him to the door.
‘There’s no need to rush back, Molly. It’s not that busy in here so take as long as you need.’
‘Right. Thank you.’ Molly glanced back, feeling her heart scrunch up inside her. It was only Sean who could make the decision to put the past behind him; no one else could make it for him. And the thought that he might never get over losing Claire was so painful that it was hard to hide how much it upset her.
‘Are you all right?’ he said softly and she knew that he had noticed she was upset but had assumed it was because of Joyce.
‘Yes. I’m fine.’
She turned away, not wanting to burden him with her feelings. Sean had enough to contend with and it would be wrong to encumber him with anything else. She had to deal with her own emotions and come to terms with the situation as it was. The sooner she did that too, the better.
* * *
The rest of the week passed and Friday rolled around. Molly had seen very little of Sean, as it happened. He had agreed to swap shifts with his opposite number, who needed time off that coming weekend to visit an ailing relative. While she was glad of the respite, she had to admit that she missed him. Sean was fun to have around, always bright and cheerful and ready to lend a hand. In fact, the department didn’t seem the same without him, although maybe it was a good thing that he wasn’t there if it gave her a chance to get used to being without him. She must never forget that Sean’s time in Dalverston was strictly limited.
By the time she left work on Friday evening, Sean still hadn’t contacted her to arrange when he would pick her up to attend Bert and Doris’s wedding reception. Molly made her way home, assuring herself that she was relieved that he had apparently changed his mind. An evening watching the box was far preferable to one spent agonising over matters she couldn’t change.
She changed into a comfy old tracksuit and settled down in front of the television with her supper on a tray. When the doorbell rang she was engrossed in the latest episode of her favourite soap opera and reluctantly got up to answer it. She’d had several visits from local children out carol singing so she fetched her purse before opening the door then gasped in surprise when she found Sean standing on her step.
‘What are you doing here?’
‘Collecting you so we can go to Bert and Doris’s do.’ He frowned as he took stock of what she was wearing. ‘I’m sorry. Am I too early?’
‘Seeing as we never agreed on a time, then no, you aren’t,’ Molly replied testily, overwhelmingly aware of how awful she looked in the ratty old tracksuit.
‘Oh, no! I never phoned you, did I?’ He slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. ‘I’ve been so busy moving my stuff into the cottage that it went straight out of my mind. Sorry!’
‘It’s OK.’ Molly shrugged, not wanting it to appear as though it mattered an iota. Nevertheless, the thought that she was so easily forgettable didn’t exactly cheer her up. She pushed that foolish thought aside. ‘As you can see, I’m not ready so it’s probably best if you go without me...’
‘Not at all,’ Sean said quickly. ‘There’s plenty of time for you to get changed.’ He held up his hand when she started to speak. ‘I know for a fact that Bert and Doris will be very disappointed if you don’t go tonight, Molly.’ His voice dropped, sounding so deep and seductive that a shiver ran through her. ‘Me too. I’ve been looking forward to this evening all week.’
Molly knew that she should stand firm but the note of longing in his voice was her undoing. Stepping back, she ushered him into the sitting room, telling herself that it was ridiculous to imagine that Sean was so desperate for her company. It was probably one of his many ruses, she told herself as she hurried upstairs. A trick he had used umpteen times before to get his own way. However, despite all that, she simply couldn’t find it in her heart to refuse to go with him and she sighed as she went into the bathroom and t
urned on the shower. Where Sean was concerned, she was like putty in his hands—pliable, malleable and far too easily led astray!
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE GREEN MAN was crowded when they arrived. It appeared that Bert and Doris had invited every single person they knew to help them celebrate their marriage. Sean grabbed hold of Molly’s hand as they made their way through the fray to where their hosts were seated, not wanting them to become separated. It had been pure good luck that he had managed to persuade her to come tonight after that mistake he had made and he didn’t intend to waste a single precious second of her company.
He glanced at her, feeling his heart lift as once again he found himself thinking how lovely she looked. She had chosen a slim-fitting deep green dress for the occasion. If he’d been better versed in fashion-speak he would have been able to describe it in detail but all he knew was that the soft velvety fabric clung to every delectable curve. She was wearing high-heeled shoes and her legs looked fabulous—long and shapely—as she led the way through a gap in the crowd.
Sean swallowed a sigh as he forced his gaze away from the enticing curve of her calves. She looked gorgeous and, what was more, she was gorgeous inside and out. No wonder he was having the devil of a job behaving sensibly. One of the reasons why he had agreed to swap shifts was the fact that it would give him a breathing space. Taking some time out away from Molly had seemed propitious and it had worked too. Or it had done until she had opened the door tonight and he had found himself right back where he had started; right back where he had left off two years ago, if he was honest. It couldn’t carry on this way—he couldn’t cope! At some point he would have to make some decisions about what he intended to do, but not tonight. Tonight he was just going to enjoy being with her.
‘So you made it. That’s grand, that is. We did wonder if you’d come as we know how busy you both must be, what with your work and everything.’ Bert Feathers beamed in delight as he stood up to greet them and Sean hastily returned his thoughts to the reason why they were there. Bending, he kissed Doris’s cheek.
‘We’ve been really looking forward to tonight, haven’t we, Molly?’ Sean said as he straightened up.
‘I...um... Yes, of course.’ Molly bent and kissed Doris then gave Bert a kiss as well. ‘Congratulations to you both. I’m sure you’ll be very happy together.’
‘Oh, there’s no doubt about that!’ Bert laughed as he sat down and squeezed Doris’s hand. ‘We plan to make the most of whatever time we have left, don’t we, love, starting tomorrow with our honeymoon.’
‘Where are you going?’ Sean asked, trying to hide his chagrin at the way Molly had hesitated. He knew that he had railroaded her into coming with him so it shouldn’t have been a surprise if she appeared less than thrilled about spending the evening with him; however, the thought that she would have preferred Humphreys’ company to his didn’t sit easily with him.
‘The Canary Islands. We’re flying to Tenerife in the morning and spending Christmas and New Year there,’ Bert informed them happily. ‘I’ve never been on a plane before, never even had a holiday, in fact, unless you count a day trip to Scarborough when I was a lad, so this will be a first for me. I’m right looking forward to it, too. So’s Doris.’
‘How wonderful!’ Sean exclaimed, genuinely delighted for them. Another couple of guests came over to speak to them at that moment so he and Molly moved aside. People were milling about, chatting to friends or sampling the buffet which had been arranged on long trestle tables at the far side of the room. Sean grimaced when his stomach rolled at the thought of the delicious-looking spread and he saw Molly look at him.
‘I never got chance to eat anything today. I was too busy putting things away into cupboards and drawers and forgot all about lunch.’
‘Why don’t you get something now?’ she suggested, leading the way to the buffet tables. Picking up a plate and some napkin-wrapped cutlery, she handed them to him, snatching her hand away when their fingers accidentally touched. ‘It all looks delicious,’ she declared but Sean could hear the quaver in her voice and didn’t know whether to be pleased or sorry. Obviously, Molly wasn’t as indifferent to him as she was making out.
‘Aren’t you having anything?’ he asked, trying to batten down the rush of emotions that hit him at that idea. Did he want her to feel something for him or not? Quite frankly, he couldn’t decide or, rather, he chose not to arrive at a conclusion. It was too risky to do that, to examine his feelings and come up with an answer that might only complicate matters even further.
‘How about some of this smoked salmon?’ he suggested, spearing a morsel on the end of his fork. He offered it to her and smiled, praying that she couldn’t tell how ambivalent he felt, how confused. He wanted her so much but he couldn’t have her unless he broke his vow to Claire. And the thought tore him in two. ‘You always loved smoked salmon, didn’t you?’ he added inanely because he needed to keep talking, otherwise he might do something really stupid. He couldn’t promise Molly the earth when it wasn’t his to give.
‘Yes, I did.’ She looked back at him and Sean could see a host of memories in her eyes, recollections of all the other times when they had eaten together, laughed together, got to know one another’s likes and dislikes. When she leant forward and delicately closed her lips around the morsel of food Sean felt the blood surge through his veins. There in a room filled with people laughing and enjoying themselves, he and Molly stood alone, set apart from everyone else by their memories. He knew then that he would always remember this moment because it was when he realised that he wouldn’t have changed what had happened between them even if he could have done. That time he had spent with Molly was far too precious; he needed the memory of it far too much. It was the one bright and shining period to come out of all these long years of darkness and despair.
Molly could taste the savoury tang of the salmon on her tongue and shuddered. She wasn’t sure why she had done that—leant forward and accepted the treat Sean had offered her. The action smacked of an intimacy that she knew she shouldn’t encourage and yet she had still done it, hadn’t she? Why? Did she want to experience their former closeness once more when it would mean risking getting hurt all over again? Surely she wasn’t so foolish as to imagine that this time it would be different, that this time Sean would want her to remain in his life for good? After what she had learned about Claire, the possibility of that happening was zero.
Picking up a plate, Molly started to fill it with delicacies even though the thought of actually eating any of it made her feel sick. However, it was something to do, something normal and stress-free, and that was what she needed desperately. Sean had loaded his plate with a selection of goodies and was looking round for somewhere to sit down; he nodded towards a couple of vacant chairs in the corner near the window.
‘Let’s go over there while we eat this little lot,’ he suggested, leading the way.
Molly followed him in silence, half afraid that all the thoughts whizzing around inside her head would somehow pop out into the open. It wasn’t Sean’s fault if he could never love her like he had loved Claire and it would be wrong to make him feel guilty about it. Sitting down, she spread the paper napkin over her lap then balanced her plate on her knees, hoping that she would manage to eat some of the food she had collected.
‘Mmm, this is delicious. Did you pick up one of these?’
Sean showed her a tiny pastry tart filled with cream cheese and prawns and Molly shook her head then swallowed as a wave of nausea suddenly struck her.
‘No? Then have this one. I picked up two, greedy guts that I am, so it’s only fair that I share them with you.’ He went to pop the tartlet on her plate but Molly pushed his hand away.
‘No! I...I don’t like prawns,’ she muttered, using the first excuse she could come up with to explain why she’d been so abrupt.
‘Really?’ Sean frowne
d, his dark brows drawing together as he stared at her in surprise. ‘Since when? You used to love prawns. Why, they were your favourite sandwich filling. Whenever I asked you what you wanted from the canteen, it was always a prawn mayonnaise sandwich.’
‘I probably ate so many that I sickened myself of them,’ Molly said snappily, wishing that he didn’t have such excellent recall. Was he going to dredge up every itty-bitty scrap of information about her? she thought sourly, then realised how contrary she was being. The fact that Sean remembered which sandwiches she had liked should have been a boost to her ego. It proved that he hadn’t simply dismissed her from his mind the minute he had left Dalverston, as she had imagined.
The thought was unsettling, far too unsettling to explore at that moment. Molly concentrated on her supper and managed to eat at least some of the food on her plate. Sean was tucking in with gusto and sighed with contentment when the last morsel had disappeared.
‘That was delicious. Best food I’ve eaten in days. I love living in the cottage but I haven’t quite got to grips with the Aga yet.’ He groaned. ‘I didn’t think it was possible to burn water but I managed it. Or rather I burnt the potatoes that were supposed to be boiling in it!’
Molly laughed as well, thinking how handsome he looked as he sat there, his deep blue eyes filled with self-mocking laughter. Sean had never taken himself too seriously. He had such an easy manner about him that both staff and patients alike were always comfortable when he was around. He was very different in that respect from Adam Humphreys. Adam tended to stand very much on ceremony—he was the doctor and he wanted everyone to remember it too. She couldn’t imagine Adam laughing at himself like that and it was the last thought she needed when, every time she compared the two men, Sean came out on top.
‘You need some lessons,’ she said, hurriedly steering her thoughts down a less dangerous track.