by Tina Beckett
‘If that’s an offer, then yes, please. Both me and my poor stomach would be eternally grateful if you could give me a few tips on how to master the wretched thing.’
‘Oh, I...um...’ Molly floundered, caught completely off-guard by the suggestion.
‘How about tomorrow morning? You’re off this weekend and I’m on a late on Saturday so it would be perfect.’
He looked so hopeful that Molly found the refusal dying on her lips. After all, what harm could there be in giving him some pointers about the art of Aga cooking?
‘All right. Around ten, shall we say?’
‘Brilliant!’ He rolled his eyes lasciviously. ‘Oh, I can’t wait to cook myself a meal that doesn’t taste—or smell—as though it’s been cremated!’
Molly laughed. Even though he was hamming it up for all he was worth, it was good to know that she could help him at least with regard to his cooking skills. As for the rest, well, there was very little she could do about that.
Thankfully, there was no time to dwell on that thought as the best man called for silence just then and asked everyone to raise their glasses to toast the happy couple. Once that was done, music began to play and Bert and Doris took to the floor in a stately and surprisingly accomplished waltz. Other people started to join in and Molly jumped when Sean touched her lightly on the arm.
‘Fancy a go?’ He grinned at her. ‘I can’t promise not to tread on your toes but I’ll give it my best shot.’
‘Why not?’ she said because it seemed churlish to refuse when everyone else was dancing. She followed him onto the dance floor, steeling herself when he took her in his arms. Even though he was holding her at arm’s length, it wasn’t easy to ignore the powerful attraction of his body. They completed a full circuit of the floor, their steps fitting so perfectly that there was no danger of him trampling on her toes. Tossing back her hair, Molly treated him to a mock-fierce stare.
‘I think you were spinning me a line, Sean Fitzgerald. You’re an excellent dancer so what was that rubbish about not treading on my toes all about?’
‘Because on the few occasions when I’ve attempted to dance like this before, I’ve left my partner with multiple bruises.’ He twirled her round, bending her backwards over his arm and leering comically down at her like some fifth-rate gigolo. ‘You, my lovely, have inspired me!’
Molly laughed as he pulled her back up. It was such a load of nonsense and yet she couldn’t help enjoying the way he made everything seem like such fun. When the music changed to a much faster rhythm this time, they remained on the floor, simply enjoying the chance to be together in such an undemanding fashion. They were having fun: it was as simple as that. And if she was having more fun because she was with Sean then Molly refused to think about it. It was easier this way. Less complicated. Less painful.
* * *
Sean collected Molly’s coat from the cloakroom, wishing that the evening didn’t have to end. It had been a wonderful night and he wanted it to carry on but everything had to come to an end at some point. Just for a second he found himself refuting that idea. It didn’t need to end if he didn’t choose to let it. Tonight could be the start of a whole lot more wonderful nights. All he had to do was make the decision and the future could be his. He could move on with Molly at his side...
If he left Claire behind.
The thought sent a stab of guilt through his guts. It was hard to hide how upset he felt as he went back to find Molly and helped her on with her coat. Bert and Doris were standing by the door, seeing their guests out, and he and Molly kissed them both and wished them well before they left. It was freezing cold outside, their breath clouding like cartoon speech bubbles as they hurried to his car. Sean zapped the locks then turned to help Molly into the seat, cursing softly when the car keys slipped out of his numb fingers.
‘I’ll get them.’ Molly bent down to retrieve the keys at the same moment as he did and their heads collided. ‘Ouch!’ she exclaimed, straightening up.
‘I am so sorry!’ Sean declared. He turned her so that she was facing the light from a nearby streetlamp and grimaced. ‘Oh, dear. It looks as though you’re going to end up with a lump on your forehead.’
‘Not to worry.’ She ran a tentative finger over her forehead and groaned. ‘Ooh, that hurts!’
‘We’ll put some ice on it as soon as we get you home.’ Sean helped her into the car then climbed behind the wheel, feeling dreadful about what had happened. It only took ten minutes to reach her house and he was out of the car and standing beside her door before she could protest. ‘No. I am not letting you go without at least trying to make amends for my clumsiness.’ He gave her a severe look. ‘I mean, what kind of a doctor would I be if I left some poor injured soul to her own devices?’
‘It’s just a bump, Sean.’ She rolled her eyes as she slid out of the car. ‘It’s not as though my head is in any danger of dropping off!’
‘You can’t be too careful with head injuries,’ he said, adopting his firmest tone. He locked the car and followed her up the path to the front door. ‘Are there any ice cubes in your freezer?’ he asked once they were inside.
‘No. The best I can offer you is a bag of frozen peas.’ Molly led the way into her tiny kitchen and opened the freezer door. She handed him a bag of peas. ‘Do these meet with your requirements, Dr Fitzgerald?’ she asked a shade sarcastically.
‘They’ll do.’ Sean whipped a tea towel off the rack and wrapped the bag of peas in it then told her to sit down, ignoring her huff of annoyance. Maybe he was going over the top but he intended to make up for having injured her even if she didn’t appreciate it. Taking care of Molly was just something he needed to do.
The thought that he wouldn’t be able to look after her once he left Dalverston whizzed through his brain but he blanked it out. He pressed the makeshift ice pack against her temple and felt her flinch. ‘Sorry, did that hurt?’ he asked, bending to look at her.
‘No. It’s just that it’s so cold it made me jump.’
Her voice sounded husky and Sean felt a ripple of awareness spread throughout his body. Was it the coldness or his nearness that was making her sound so on edge? he wondered as he continued to hold the ice pack against her temple. The thought that it might be the latter made him shudder too and he strove to get a grip on himself, not an easy thing to do in the circumstances. Standing this close to her, he could smell the delicate floral fragrance of her perfume and his heart ran wild. All of a sudden it wasn’t enough to minister to her this way. He wanted to touch her far more intimately, to run his hands over her and let them relearn the luscious curves, the dips and hollows, to lose himself in the wonder of her delectable body. But should he? Could he? Or would he simply be storing up a whole load of heartache for both him and Molly? How could he take what she could give him when he had nothing to offer her in return?
Molly could feel the tension swirling around them and swallowed the sudden knot in her throat. She knew what was happening and had a very good idea what Sean was thinking too. Would he act upon these feelings that filled the air? Would he take her in his arms and make love to her, because that was where this was leading? But was it what she wanted, really wanted, when she knew in her heart that it could only end in yet more heartache? At the end of the day, it wouldn’t change anything. He would still be in love with Claire, no matter what they did tonight.
The thought brought her back down to earth with a bump. Pushing his hand away, she stood up. It was hard to control her emotions but she refused to make a fool of herself again. Maybe she did want him to make love to her but she couldn’t bear the thought of how she would feel afterwards. When he left Dalverston and left her.
‘I think it’s time you went, don’t you?’ she said, hearing the strain in her voice but unable to do anything about it.
‘Yes.’ He put the makeshift compress on the table and t
ook a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry, Molly—’
‘Don’t!’ Molly gave a sharp downward thrust of her hand, unable to deal with the thought of him apologising for what had so nearly happened. It would take very little to change her mind and that was something she mustn’t do. Until Sean was free of the past then he wouldn’t be free to love her or any other woman.
He didn’t say anything more as he turned and walked down the hall. Molly followed him out, pausing when he stopped and turned to face her. There was such sadness in his eyes that her heart ached but she couldn’t afford to weaken. What it came down to was one simple fact: Sean could never love her while he was in love with someone else.
‘I think it’s probably best if we forget about tomorrow.’ He gave her a quick grin but it was for show rather than a true expression of his feelings. That he was as upset as she was wasn’t in any doubt and Molly’s aching heart ached all the more. ‘I shall muddle through and master that wretched cooker somehow.’
‘You will. It’s not exactly rocket science, is it?’ Molly did her best to play her part in the proceedings; however, the catch in her voice somewhat spoiled her efforts.
‘It isn’t.’ He gave a small shrug then started to open the door before he suddenly swung back to face her. ‘I wish things could be different, Molly. Really I do!’
Molly had no time to react when he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Maybe she should have pushed him away, remonstrated with him, done something to show it wasn’t what she wanted, but she was incapable of doing anything at that moment. His lips clung to hers, demanding a response she was powerless to refuse. The kiss might have lasted seconds or hours—she had no idea which it was—but she was trembling when Sean let her go. He didn’t say a word as he opened the front door, didn’t look back as he got into his car and drove away, but she understood. If he had spoken to her or looked at her then he couldn’t have left. He would have had to stay.
Molly was trembling as she closed the door and went and sat down on the stairs. She could tell herself until the moon turned blue that she was glad she hadn’t let him make love to her tonight but it would be a lie. She knew that and, what was more, Sean knew it too.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE NEXT COUPLE of weeks passed in a blur. Sean offered to work extra shifts whenever they were short-staffed and managed to fill up his time to the exclusion of everything else. He did fit in some Christmas shopping on a rare day off, buying presents for his parents as well as some chocolates for the rest of the team in A&E, but that was the full extent of his preparations. Christmas and New Year were always difficult times; they brought it home to him how different his life might have been if Claire hadn’t died, although, strangely, he found it less painful this year. The thought that he was moving on, and that it had a lot to do with how he felt about Molly, filled him with guilt.
Although he saw Molly most days in work, he had the distinct impression that she was going out of her way to avoid him. Although they lived only a short distance apart, he never ever bumped into her in the street. He hadn’t even seen her driving into work, which struck him as very odd, seeing as they must have driven along the same route. When the thought occurred to him that she might be spending more time with Adam Humphreys, possibly even sleeping at Humphreys’ house, it didn’t exactly fill Sean with cheer. The sooner his stint at Dalverston was over, the better!
* * *
Molly had managed to cram some much-needed Christmas shopping in after work and had parcelled up the presents she intended to send home to her parents and younger sister. She was rostered to work all over the Christmas period so she wouldn’t be able to give them their presents in person this year.
She had been due to have New Year off but Joyce’s accident had caused problems with the time sheets and she ended up volunteering to work then as well. Although Joyce was still in ICU, she was making some progress and the neurosurgical team were cautiously optimistic. Molly popped in most days to check on her and have a word with Ted, who was constantly at her bedside. His devotion was touching and Molly was sure that if the power of love could affect the outcome then her friend had a very good chance of recovering.
The thought naturally reminded her of Sean but then again he was rarely out of her mind. He was the first thought that popped into her head when she woke each morning and his was the last face she saw before she fell asleep. She had taken to avoiding him, even going to the extent of taking a circuitous route when she drove into work. What had almost happened that night after Bert and Doris’s wedding reception had come as a timely warning about how vulnerable she was. Whenever Adam asked her out, she always accepted even though she found him extremely dull company. The fact that their relationship had never moved beyond a courteous peck on the cheek was another indication that there was no spark there, at least on her part. No, Adam definitely didn’t ring any bells. Not like Sean had done. And still did.
In an effort to distract herself, Molly packed as much as possible into each and every day. When she wasn’t working, she was either cooking or cleaning. Her house sparkled from top to bottom while the fridge and freezer were crammed to overflowing with goodies. Why, if an entire army had descended on her this Christmas, she could have fed them! By the time Christmas Eve arrived there wasn’t space for another morsel of food in the house.
She was rostered to work that night but arrived early as she had volunteered to sing in the staff choir. They had decided to dress up in the uniforms that had been worn by nurses during the First World War and there was much hilarity as they donned the floor-length dresses and heavy woollen capes. The caps were the most difficult to master; it took Molly half a dozen attempts before she managed to anchor the starched folds of cotton to her hair and even then she wasn’t confident that it would stay on her head. The men had opted to wear soldiers’ uniforms and a cheer went up when they marched into the canteen, resplendent in their khaki kit. Molly hadn’t realised until that moment that Sean would be with them and her heart leapt when she spotted his tall, muscular figure standing at the back of the group. She couldn’t help thinking how impressive he looked in his uniform.
They set off around the hospital, stopping at each ward to sing a selection of well-known carols. The staff dimmed the lights so that they sang in the glow given off by the lanterns they were carrying. It was very atmospheric and Molly noticed several people wiping away a tear or two. By the time they finished doing the rounds, it was declared a resounding success. Molly changed back into her usual attire and made her way to A&E. Sean was already there and he smiled when she went over to the desk.
‘Back to normal, I see. Although I have to admit that your previous outfit was very fetching, especially that cap. It was a miracle of engineering!’
‘I...erm...thank you.’ Molly felt the blush start at her throat and work its way upwards. Reaching over the desk, she snagged the daily report sheet and bent over it, hoping to hide her embarrassment. Just because Sean had paid her a compliment, it wasn’t an excuse to start behaving like a giddy teenager.
‘Mind you, fetching though the dresses were, I don’t know how the women coped with those long skirts. It must have been a nightmare trying to keep them clean.’
‘It must.’
Molly gave him a quick smile then went to check what everyone was doing. There were three nurses working that night, including herself, plus Sean and a locum doctor. Once she was sure that everyone knew what they were doing she went back to the desk, relieved to find that Sean had disappeared. So long as they stuck to work then everything would fine, she assured herself. It was when they got onto more personal issues that the problems started.
The night started off slowly enough and it looked as though it was going to stay that way too. Molly took her break at eleven o’clock and was in the staffroom making herself a cup of coffee when she heard the emergency telephone start to ring. Abandoning her dr
ink, she hurried back to the unit to see what was going on. Sean had taken the call and her heart sank when she saw how grim he looked as he hung up.
‘What’s happened?’ she asked, going straight over to him.
‘A private plane has crashed onto the old brewery in the town centre. Apparently, it was heading to Barton airport near Manchester but the pilot reported that they were experiencing engine problems.’
‘Oh, no! They renovated the brewery a couple of years ago and turned it into luxury apartments. Heaven only knows how many people are living there now.’
‘Incident control is liaising with the police to try and establish that. It’s not going to be easy, mind you. At this time of the year a lot of folk could have gone away to visit relatives or even be on holiday.’
‘It’s going to be a major task,’ Molly agreed. ‘So what’s the plan? Are you declaring it a major incident and calling in extra staff to deal with the casualties?’
‘I don’t think I have a choice.’ Sean grimaced. ‘On Christmas Eve too. I really will be popular.’
Molly left him to speak to the switchboard, who would phone everyone on the list of staff who were down to attend when something like this happened. She called the rest of the team into the office and quickly explained what had happened. By the time that was done, Sean had finished and came to find her.
‘Incident control has asked us to send a team to the site. You and I will go, obviously, but we could do with another nurse plus a doctor to make up our numbers. Who do you suggest? I know Steph is on her way in but I can’t take her. Apart from the fact that she hasn’t done the necessary training, it will leave us short in here.’
‘Jayne will be the best person to accompany us,’ Molly replied, referring to Jayne Leonard, one of their most experienced staff nurses. She frowned. ‘I’m not sure about another doctor— Oh, how about Mac—James MacIntyre, remember him? He used to work here. He’s not only done the necessary training but he dealt with all sorts of incidents when he was working overseas for that aid agency. The experience he’s gained from that could be very useful.’