Water and Fire

by Demelza Carlton

  I stopped. "Today," I answered.

  "Have dinner with me again tonight?" he asked anxiously.

  I shrugged. I had no plans and I intended to pick up some fish and chips again. "Okay."

  "I have to work 'til five, but I know your shift finishes earlier. Can I pick you up?" He sounded so eager.

  I agreed. I headed up the corridor to my ward, while he entered the cafeteria in search of cake.

  17

  Just before Aidan was due to arrive, my telephone rang. I didn't receive many calls, but I answered anyway.

  The voice on the other end told me that my replacement would arrive early the next morning, and could I make sure I vacated my accommodation by 8 am tomorrow?

  I agreed automatically. We said goodbye and hung up.

  I'd intended to spend the following day on a boat, viewing the humpback whales in the ocean near the old whaling station. It didn't matter. I could leave early in the morning, before my replacement arrived, and have brownies with ice cream together with my mother tomorrow afternoon.

  I began packing up my few belongings. It didn't take long. Perhaps I should leave tonight, after dinner? Then we could have brownies tomorrow morning.

  I'd lost track of the time, so it came as a surprise when I opened the door to take my bag out to the car that Aidan was right outside.

  He looked shocked. "Are you leaving already? Aren't you coming to dinner with me?"

  I looked down at the bag in my hands. "I just got a call saying I have to be out of the house by tomorrow morning, instead of Monday, as I'd planned. So, I figured I'd leave after we have dinner."

  Aidan's face lit up. "You can stay with me for the weekend."

  I hesitated. I didn't want to share his house. It was difficult enough appearing normal for so much of my time – I couldn't manage it all day and all night.

  He took my hesitation for distrust. "I know that sounds bad, but I'm staying at my uncle's friend's holiday house. It sleeps heaps of people. You'd have your own room, at the other end of the house from me. It's not like I'm asking you to sleep with me. I'm just offering you a place to stay, if you don't want to go home early."

  I found my voice. "I did intend to go whale watching tomorrow. If I leave early, I'll miss out on the whales." I wavered in my desire to go back to Perth. I missed the whales so much, and they'd be calving soon.

  He perked up immediately. "I've never seen a whale before. Do they really come close to here?"

  I smiled. "Sure they do. There used to be a whaling station, where people killed them for their oil. It's closed now, but the whales still come to the bay where it was. Come with me tomorrow and you'll see." The invitation slipped out before I'd seriously thought about it.

  His joyful smile beamed at me. "So you'll stay with me for the weekend?"

  Realisation dawned that in my mind, I'd already accepted his invitation. "Okay." I reflected for a moment. "I'll just put this in the car. Then I can head straight to your place after dinner."

  Aidan looked stunned. I wondered if I'd said or done something strange.

  "Or I could come by in the morning…" I suggested.

  His voice was breathless with the excitement that shone through his eyes. "You can come over any time you like. Tonight or tomorrow. Whatever you like."

  I studied him for a moment. "Tonight, then," I decided.

  After all, my bag was already packed. It was a simple matter to transfer it to the back of my car. I left the key in the meter box, where it had been when I arrived. It would be as if I'd never been there.

  18

  Dinner was over in a blur of warm food, beer and very little conversation.

  "You don't say much, do you?" Aidan asked at one point.

  I concentrated on drinking my beer. I shook my head, drinking deeply. The less I said, the less careful I had to be. I put the beer down without finishing it. I'd need my wits about me tonight.

  Aidan dropped his empty glass on the table. "Do you want to go, or would you like another drink?"

  I shook my head. "It's been a busy day. I'd like to go to bed early tonight."

  We paid for our respective meals and headed out to the dark parking lot.

  Aidan looked worried. "My place is a fair way along the bay, so it's easiest if you follow me there."

  I nodded, then realised he couldn't see my response in the dark. "Sure. Lead the way."

  We started our cars and I followed his tail lights along the road to the west, along the bay. After several turns, past a deli that was closed for the night, we turned onto an unsealed gravel road. I followed him, a little concerned at our remote location. He made a quick turn to the right, through a gap in the bush, and I turned behind him. In the beam of his headlights, I saw two houses set in a large lawn, which ended at the water's edge.

  I parked my car beside his and got out, shouldering my bag.

  Aidan fumbled with the keys, but managed to get the door open eventually. He entered first, turning on the lights, before holding the door open for me.

  I stepped inside carefully. I looked at the country-style kitchen, then through the long open-plan living area to the lounge with a big open fire. The wall on one side of the room was mostly windows, facing the inlet. The wall opposite this was a row of doors, which I learned led to the bedrooms.

  "Pick any room you like," Aidan said quickly. He pointed at the one closest to the fireplace. "That one's mine."

  For all that he was my work colleague, I did not know this man, so I chose the room furthest from his and closest to my car. I turned on the light in a room with a double bed and one bedside table. I dropped my bag on the bed and turned the light off again.

  Aidan stood outside my room, already pointing to the room next to mine. "That one's the bathroom. There's towels in the cupboard, if you need them."

  I nodded. I washed up in the bathroom as quickly as I could and brushed my teeth, before returning to my bedroom and shutting the door. After a moment, I pushed the bedside table across the door.

  No, I didn't trust this man.

  19

  I slept through the night, without hearing a bump of the door on the bedside table or much else besides.

  I pulled some clean clothes out of my bag and made my way into the bathroom for a shower. Aidan didn't seem to be awake yet – I saw his door was still closed.

  I turned on the shower, but the water had a slightly brown tinge to it, along with a smell that I associated with stagnant fresh water. This didn't clear, so I shrugged and took a shower anyway. At least the water was pleasantly hot.

  I dried myself and dressed, before venturing into the kitchen for breakfast. I'd brought some bread with me, so I used his toaster and some of his condiments to make some toast. I settled down on the sofa with my breakfast and a book I'd picked up from the shelf.

  The novel proved dull, so I was bored by the time I'd finished my toast. Wondering why any woman would want to count cigarettes and calories in her diary, I set the book back on the bookcase.

  I washed up my dishes and wondered what to do. The whale watching boat was due to depart in just over an hour. Should I drive up to the port early and wait on the jetty?

  A door creaked open behind me. I spun on the spot, in time to see Aidan emerge from his room, wearing a pair of silky shorts and a t-shirt, scratching his nether regions with one hand. His eyes widened when he saw me.

  "I'm sorry, I forgot you were here," he apologised, hiding his hands behind his back. He hurried into the bathroom and shut the door. He emerged soon after, crossing the living area in quick, wide strides. He disappeared into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

  I heard him muttering to himself for a minute or two, before he emerged, fully clothed.

  "Is this okay for whale watching?" he asked.

  I tried hard not to laugh. "I don't think the whales care what you wear. You might want to bring a jacket, though, because it gets cold on the water." I pointed at my jacket and hat on the couch beside me.
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  "Right." Aidan looked determined and marched back into his bedroom.

  20

  I agreed to let him drive to the port. I'd been laughing too hard at him in his ski clothes to see or drive. I'd never seen so much red tartan in my life. He'd switched the ski pants for jeans, but the tartan hat and coat remained.

  "I like tartan," he told me with a wounded look. I wasn't sure if he was serious or joking, but my levity slowly faded.

  We paid our fares and headed down the jetty to the whale watching boat. Looking from the furled sail to the small cabin, I judged the catamaran to be a reasonable-sized vessel, about the same size as a male humpback whale. I wondered if we would encounter anything larger.

  There were only a handful of people on the boat, presumably owing to the cold, damp and windy weather. The whales and I didn't mind; Aidan was snug in his bright coat. The boat headed out of the port, toward the decommissioned whaling station. The vessel crew gave a commentary as we cut through the little waves, but I didn't listen to it. I suspected I knew more about whales than any of them.

  I stood in the bow of the boat, face to the wind, looking for the first sign of a blow. It had been many months since I'd seen a whale…and I saw it. A blow of hot condensed air, a back curving above the surface, the dorsal fin… "A humpback! There!" I shouted, pointing.

  Aidan and the rest of the passengers crowded around me, scanning the water. I watched the patch of calm water between the waves disappear, before pointing again. "There." The whale surfaced on cue. This time, his tail rose up behind him as he dove deep.

  "Wow." Aidan's voice behind me was breathy and awed. I turned and smiled, before surveying the water again for another whale.

  The whales surfaced and blew around the boat, to the murmured awe of the other passengers. I looked closely, but all I saw were males and juveniles, none of them as large as the boat.

  The skipper mentioned something about moving to another spot, where the spotters at the lookout had seen some more whales.

  The other passengers moved back inside as the boat started to move out of the shelter of the headland, but I stayed in the bow, dropping to my knees by the rail. Under my breath, I started to sing, so quiet it was barely audible to my own acute hearing.

  The skipper slowed and pulled out a little plastic flute, playing a short tune before pocketing the flute again. I looked out across the water to the horizon, repeating my song.

  I heard her approach, but still she surprised me. She spied above the surface, her face close beside the boat, her eye focussed on me. A tiny back broke the surface next to her, followed by a tail barely bigger than a dolphin's. Her baby was so young it was still pale grey. I sang once more and she dipped below the water again.

  I held tight to the rail at the bow as she breached beside the vessel, soaking me with spray as she twisted in the air and splashed down again. The boat rocked violently, but stayed afloat. A gust of wind chilled me to the bone. I couldn't stop smiling, even as my hands turned pale blue. The other passengers moved out to the bow again and we all watched as the whale cow breached a little further away. Murmured sighs echoed around me as the tiny back and tail flicked to the surface beside her.

  I nodded my thanks to her and shivered in the wind, wishing I'd thought to bring warmer clothing. I wondered if it was warmer in the water with the whale than in the wind on the boat. If only I could slip into the water unseen to find out.

  Aidan was close behind me, but I didn't mind his nearness. He blocked the wind from one direction, if nothing else. I heard him unzip his coat and wondered why he'd do such a thing in this wind. The answer came as he enclosed me in tartan, his arms lightly around me.

  I pulled away automatically, but stopped at the sound of his voice. Now he sounded in control. "You're turning blue. You can share my coat or you can go inside and wrap up in the foil blanket from the boat's first aid kit. If you stand out here much longer in your wet clothes, you'll get hypothermia and I promise I'll get you admitted to hospital as soon as the boat docks. Whatever you choose, I'm not going to let you freeze. I'm not a very good one, but I am a doctor."

  I couldn't be admitted to hospital as a patient. I refused to sit inside when the whales were out here. That left me one option that was less repugnant than I'd thought. I struggled out of my own dripping coat and dropped it on the deck. My sweater and shirt beneath it were merely damp. I sank deeper into Aidan's coat, until my back touched his chest.

  His breath tickled my ear as he laughed. "I expected you to take the first aid option inside."

  "The whales are out here," I said.

  As if on cue, the baby exhaled into the air and flashed its fin and tail. The whale cow lifted her back high, followed by a tail wider than the boat, as she dove deep and headed out of the bay. I farewelled her with my eyes.

  Aidan zipped up his coat again, this time with me inside. He was so warm. I was surprisingly comfortable in this strange man's arms, though a contributing factor might have been how numb I felt from the freezing wind.

  I didn't sing again and all we saw for the remainder of the trip were smaller humpbacks, surfacing and blowing, as they had before. I didn't mind. This was enough. Now I wanted to go back to shore and find some dry clothes. As if the skipper had heard me, it seemed like no time at all before the boat tied up at the jetty again. Aidan slid out of his coat and put it on me. He carried my wet coat as he extended a hand to help me out of the boat. I stumbled, clumsier than I could ever remember being before, as I found my feet and legs were numb. Somehow, with his help, I made it to the car. I sat in the passenger seat, almost too cold to shiver.

  Aidan had to buckle up my seat belt, before asking me again, in concern, "Home or the hospital?"

  "Home," I replied as loudly as I could. "There's nothing they can do for hypothermia at the hospital that you can't do at home."

  "Right. Right," Aidan told himself, as he drove off.

  21

  I tried to focus on the road, but my vision wavered from blurred to clear. I felt the bumpy surface of gravel and told myself we were almost home. A kangaroo came out of nowhere, bursting from the bush on one side of the road. It cleared the bonnet of the car and hightailed off into the bush on the other side.

  "There goes Lucky," Aidan said.

  I struggled to understand. "The kangaroo's name is Lucky?"

  Aidan laughed. "Any kangaroo I don't hit is called Lucky."

  I smiled, or I think I did, but I was so cold I couldn't feel if my face was working correctly.

  Aidan kept shooting glances in my direction, his expression increasingly grim.

  He parked his car so close to the front door it was almost on the veranda encircling the walls. He bundled me out of the car and into the house.

  Once inside, he let go of me. I sagged on my feet, but I remained standing.

  His fingers manically combed through his hair, so it fluffed out in all directions. "You should…go get changed. Into some warm, dry clothes. I'll start the fire and get the room heated, so you can sit out here on the sofa to warm up." He looked at me, more than a little apprehensive. "Do you need help getting changed, or will you be okay?"

  I smiled, bemused. "I think I can dress myself." I ambled toward the bedroom I'd claimed. Changing my clothes was harder than I'd expected, because my hands weren't as cooperative as I needed them to be. After some time, I managed to take off my wet clothes and put on some pants and a shirt. I decided I didn't need a bra, because it was pretty useless when I couldn't fasten it. Today I was glad my breasts were much smaller than Vanessa's, because if she chose not to wear a bra, it hardly went without notice. Quite the opposite.

  After some consideration, I pulled Aidan's tartan coat on over my shirt. This would hide my breasts, if such a thing was necessary.

  I carefully picked my way across the tiled floor on numb feet. In the time it had taken me to get changed, Aidan had started a fire in the fireplace. The first big chunk of wood was starting to burn, orange flame dartin
g around the edges, like small, nibbling fish.

  I sat on the couch, focussing on the flames. Aidan moved from his crouch in front of the fire to the couch beside me. He helped me out of his damp coat, flinging a fluffy rug over my shoulders instead.

  He stood in front of me, unconsciously washing his hands without water or soap, I noticed with faint humour. Rubbing his hands from his forearms to his fingertips, as if scrubbing up for some delicate surgical procedure.

  "So, I take it you're not going whale watching again for a while?" Aidan's joke fell flat.

  I looked up to his considerable height, incredulous. Why would I avoid whales? It was the wind that took my warmth, not the whale. I wished I could tell this man why such a suggestion was so nonsensical, but I kept my mouth closed. I turned my eyes to the flame-fish in the fire.

  "Right." His voice was uncertain, as he walked away from me and out of my sight. I heard him moving around in the kitchen, but I concentrated on the fire, my focus on its warmth.

  Aidan returned with a bottle and two glasses, clinking them down on the coffee table. He carefully broke the seal and poured a small amount of kelp-coloured liquid into the bottom of each glass.

  He held onto the bottle, giving a sigh. "I was keeping this for a special occasion. I guess medicinal purposes qualify as an occasion." He didn't explain his cryptic words, nor did I care for an explanation, so I waited for him to hand me a glass. "Drink this. It'll help warm you a bit."

  I judged the quantity of liquid to be a large mouthful, so I took it all in one gulp. A mouthful of fire coral would have burned less. My eyes watered as if to put out the flames in my throat, but the effort was futile.

  I tried to focus on the bottle's label. Blinking, it took me a few minutes before I could see. Limeburners Single Malt Whisky Barrel Strength, I read, before I had the use of my voice. What lime was I didn't know, but this drink would burn anything.