by Matt Shaw
Jason took another run up and kicked the ball as hard as he could. A hard toe punt which lifted the small ball high into the air and shot it a considerable distance. No sooner had his foot connected with the ball then Roald gave chase, barking with excitement the whole way. Seconds later and Roald returned, nudging the ball in front of him. He was rewarded with a pat on the head before Jason kicked the ball across the garden again. And, once more, Roald gave chase.
Jason reached into his pocket and pulled out his mobile phone - something he very rarely left home without. Full signal but no messages from Emily. It felt like ages since she had left the house for her trip to the doctors and he couldn’t help but wonder what was being said. He dropped the phone back into his trouser pocket and looked at the dog again.
“Roald!” he called out when he realized that the ball had suddenly altered course and was heading for the road because of, Jason presumed, an unexpected gust of wind. It wasn’t as though the ball was the heaviest of items. Roald didn’t stop. He rarely did when he was excitedly giving chase to something which had caught his eye. “Roald!” Jason called out again as the ball disappeared through a gap in the hedge. “The fucking chances of that!” he muttered as he started to run after the dog who hadn’t hesitated to dive through the hedge after the ball.
As Jason jogged across the garden he noticed a large lorry travelling, at speed, down towards where Roald would have been in the road - unless the ball happened to continue into the adjacent field which was highly unlikely.
“Roald!” Jason called out - a sense of urgency in his voice now which was still ignored by his pet. “Here, boy!” he yelled again.
He heard Roald growl from behind the hedge and then he heard the sound of the lorry’s horn, as it loomed ever closer still travelling at speed, when the driver noticed the dog playing near the road and started braking accordingly. The brakes of the lorry squealed loudly the driver obviously panicking behind the wheel - a desperate attempt to react to whatever Roald was doing behind the hedge.
Jason called out for Roald to come back again but his voice was drowned out by the sound of the lorry’s horn and screeching tyres. Jason made it to the hedge just in time to see Roald disappear under the lorry. The sound of Roald’s pained ‘yelp’. The look on the driver’s face, through the window - his eyes closed tight as though he knew there was no chance of stopping in time. Jason screamed out and bent down to try and see underneath the lorry - and what he saw...The sight of his beloved pet being twisted and turned, dragged across the asphalt. The sight accompanied by the sound of an animal in pain until it suddenly went deathly quiet. Jason screamed for Roald again but he knew it was too late. The lorry passed him before eventually coming to a standstill.
As Jason scrambled through the hedge, the driver jumped down from his cabin.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t see him..When I did...I sounded the horn but...He was just lying in the road as though he was stuck, or in pain...I tried to stop...I tried...”
The driver was just as shaken up as Jason was but Jason didn’t stop to comfort him. He hurried around to the back of the lorry. There, in the middle of the road, was Roald. Lifeless. Jason dropped to his knees by his dog’s broken body and started to weep. The driver stood, by the side of the road, and guiltily looked on - no words of comfort offered as he knew there were none that would help.
Teary-eyed Jason looked up and noticed Roald’s ball was rolling back towards them, despite the lack of breeze.
The driver slowly approached, “Can I help you with him?” he asked.
Jason scooped Roald into his arms and struggled to his feet, “Get the fuck away from me,” he hissed. “How fast were you going anyway?”
The driver stuttered.
“Was it you?”
“Look, I’m sorry...”
“Was it you?” Jason repeated.
“Was what me?”
“Did you run the boy over too? Josh? Was it you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the driver took a few steps back, sensing Jason’s growing anger.
“You speed down this road without a care in the world, you piece of shit.”
“Fuck you!” the driver snapped back. “You should have watched your dog more carefully. I said it was an accident - and it was. I said I’m sorry - and I am - but I haven’t killed any boys. This is the first accident I’ve had and I’m sorry it was with your dog but it doesn’t give you the right to start insulting me.”
“Just get the fuck out of my face,” Jason hissed as he pushed past the driver and headed back towards his garden.
The driver shouted out after him, “And what about the damage to my lorry, huh? I should be the one shouting at you!” he tutted and turned back towards the lorry’s cabin before things had the chance to escalate further.
Jason struggled through the hedge, with Roald in his arms, fighting back his tears. As soon as he made it through to the other side, he dropped down to his knees and screamed - a scream so loud, even the sound of the lorry firing into life didn’t drown it out. When he opened his eyes he noticed Emily was standing at the kitchen door - a look of horror on her face. She didn’t come running over, she simply stood there as though frozen to the spot.
* * * * *
Jason was standing by a freshly dug hole. Next to him was a pile of earth and a black bin liner which contained Roald’s shattered body. Emily approached from the house with a glass of water in her hand. As she neared Jason, she held it out for him to take.
“I thought you’d be thirsty,” she said as she neared.
Jason forged a smile across his weary face and took the glass with his left hand - his right hand was still clutching the shovel by its handle, “Thank you,” he said as he gulped it down in near enough one large swig.
He looked at Emily and could tell she’d been crying too, although she had done her best to not show it to Jason. Roald was, after all, his dog more than her dog and she wanted Jason to feel as though he could grieve properly without feeling the need to have to comfort her. “Are you okay?” he asked.
She nodded but looked as though she were desperate to say something. “You?” she finally asked.
“Been better,” he said. He turned back to the hole. “Did you want to say something? I thought about it but...I felt stupid.”
Emily looked at him blankly, “What am I supposed to say?”
Jason shrugged, “He was a good dog,” he said - a tiny crack of emotion in his voice as he struggled not to cry in front of his wife who, until today, had never seen him come close to weeping, let alone literally breaking down in front of her.
“He was a good dog,” Emily confirmed.
Jason passed the empty glass back to Emily, before bending down to pick up the black bag. With it in his arms he gently lowered it into the hole he’d dug. Once the bag was resting on the freshly dug earth, he patted it with his hand and whispered, “I’ll miss you, boy.”
He stood up and wiped a runaway tear from his eye. Emily took hold of his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze of support. “I’m sure he’s still here,” she said.
Jason suddenly turned to her - a look on his face which suggested something had just clicked in the back of his mind, “Of course,” he said. A sudden hopeful smile across his face. He turned and ran towards the house.
Emily called after him, “What did I say?” She paused a moment and reflected upon her own words. Just as something had clicked with Jason - it clicked with her too, “Shit!” She ran after Jason who had already disappeared into the house via the kitchen door. She knew exactly where he was going.
By the time Emily caught up with Jason, he was already in what had been set up as Josh’s bedroom. He was kneeling on the floor, next to the table where he’d set the Ouija board back up again. A glass, near the letters, was already moving across to ‘yes’.
Jason turned to Emily, tears in his eyes and a smile on his face, “You’re right!” he said.
“What?”
“He is still here. He’s with Josh!” said Jason excitedly. “He’s okay. He’s happy. Apparently his tail is wagging.” Jason started to cry. Emily didn’t move from the doorway - a look of concern on her face.
14.
Jason and Emily were sitting at either end of the dining room table tucking into a meal Emily had cooked. Nothing special, a plate of ham, egg and chips - quick and easy was all she could be bothered with after what had been a long, trying day.
Jason’s grief had all but gone now he knew Roald was still around them in spirit form. Something which was made easier on him, still, by the fact he had some kind of company in Josh.
Emily, meanwhile, looked more concerned as she solemnly pushed her food around the plate.
“I said - what do you think?” Jason repeated.
“I’m sorry?” Emily looked up. “Think about what?” She’d been so lost in her own deep thoughts she hadn’t even heard Jason speak.
“Whether there’s a way we could ever see them? Do you think there’s something we could do? Some scientific experiment, or something - hell, I don’t know - just something! Anything!”
Emily shrugged, “I don’t know,” she said.
Jason sighed, “I’m not even sure who we could ask about it. It’s not every day you get proof about life after death, is it? You realise we’re probably sitting on a gold mine, right? People would flock here to see this. Tourists, scientists, news reporters...People looking to dispute it as fiction. Not that I think I’d want to exploit them. Hardly fair, is it? No. Probably best we keep it to ourselves, I’d have thought. For now, at least...” He bit into an extra long chip, “Can you pass me the salt, please?”
The salt shaker slid, untouched by Emily, across the dining room table.
“Thanks, Josh,” said Jason. Jason carefully tipped some over the rest of his chips. Emily started to cry. “What is it?” he asked. He put the shaker down. “Em?”
“You haven’t even asked me how it went,” she said.
“How what went?”
Emily looked at him in disbelief. She could tell by his blank expression that he really had no idea what she was talking about.
“Emily? How what...” he suddenly fell silent as it dawned on him what she was referring to. “Shit.”
“Yeah,” she said, “shit...Shit...Shit...The fucking doctors...I understand you’ve had a bad day. I get that but...Now...You’re fine...Deliriously happy, even, because you know your dog is a fucking ghost and is now friends with another fucking ghost...” her face was going redder and redder as she continued to get more upset, “...But...That’s okay...Because you’re happy now. It doesn’t matter how I feel...What’s going on in my body...That doesn’t matter either. Side tracked like our relationship since you found out about Josh...”
“What? No...That’s not fair,” said Jason.
“Well guess what - I am pregnant,” she continued. “I’m having a baby. And, of course, I’d very much like my new husband to be a part of that.”
She didn’t wait for an answer, or a reaction, she simply stood up and stormed from the room - slamming the door behind her.
“Shit.”
Out of frustration he pushed the salt shaker so hard it slid across the table towards where Emily had been sitting. Seconds later it slowly slid back to where Jason was. He stood up and walked out of the room. “Emily?” he called out. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and cranked his head, to the side, to try and hear where she was. “Emily?” From upstairs, coming from their bedroom, he could hear her crying. “Shit,” he muttered. He walked up the stairs and into their room where he found her crying into her pillow, “I’m sorry,” he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. He rested his arm on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he repeated again on the off-chance she didn’t hear him. “I’m an idiot. Ignore me.”
She rolled onto her side so she could see his face, “You don’t even want the baby,” she said.
“That’s not true,” he argued. “The whole pregnancy thing - it just took me by surprise, that’s all. I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t think we were at that stage yet but that’s not to say I won’t be happy, or supportive. Come on,” he continued, “please stop crying. You said it yourself - it’s been one of those days. I’m sorry!”
Emily sat up and leant her back against the headboard. She wiped the tears from her eyes, “Don’t you see what’s happening to us since...Well...Since discovering we’re not alone. Jason, I’m scared. We need to get out of this house before it ruins everything we have going for us.”
“You’re still going on about leaving? Honey, we can’t leave. It’s not that simple. Besides - what’s the point now we’ve set the terms with Josh? We have our space - he has his.”
“What happened at the dinner table...The salt...I’m not happy living like that. I’m not comfortable with it.”
Jason sighed, “In time it will be...”
“No, I don’t want to wait. I’m not happy about it. As my husband - the man who loves me - you should understand that. You said we could cut our losses and leave if things didn’t work out.”
“But things are working out for us. You’re the only reason things aren’t quite right at the moment.”
“This is my fault?”
“That’s not what I meant. I mean - it’s just you who isn’t happy at the moment. Josh seems happy, apparently Roald is happy...I’m happy. I’m excited. The thought of us all living here. A baby on the way. I’m happy.”
“I don’t want my baby to be babysat by a ghost of a dead child! You don’t think that’s a little strange?” Emily suddenly shouted.
“Calm down, he might hear you.”
“Might hear me? What the fuck...He’s dead, Jase...Dead! What does it matter that he hears me? He shouldn’t even be here - this is our house.”
“And it was his house.”
“Can’t we just call someone? Get them to come and get rid of him?”
“Get rid of him? Like who? A fucking Ghostbuster?” Jason felt his anger start to rise to match that of Emily’s.
“We’re newlyweds, Jason. Newlyweds. Does that mean anything to you? We’re supposed to be in the romantic honeymoon stage of our relationship and instead we spend most nights talking about a dead boy. And now we have a dead pet dog to look after too. It’s not right. If you think Ghostbusters do exist...And you can get hold of one and value our relationship then, yes, get a fucking Ghostbuster in.”
Jason stood up and went to leave the room.
“Where are you going?” Emily asked.
“I need some air,” he said, “I’m fed up talking about this shit.”
“This shit? Our relationship? This shit! That’s nice, Jason. Real nice.”
He stopped in the doorway as though he was about to turn around and continue talking to her. A few seconds passed. He took a deep breath and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him.
“Nice to know what you really think of our relationship!” she called out after him. “Fuck you too!” she yelled, hoping that Jason could still hear her. “Fuck you too!” she repeated for good measure. It took seconds for her anger to subside and get overtaken by sadness and, once again, she started to cry.
* * * * *
Jason sat in front of his typewriter. The blank page taunting his lack of ability to think of anything worthwhile to write upon it. A story about a happy, newlywed couple? At first he wanted to keep the original story and, somehow, change it to fit in more with his style of writing but, the way he felt now, he wanted to burn every page already written. He span around, in his chair, and faced the opposite wall as though words would come to him with more ease if he wasn’t putting pressure upon himself by staring at his typewriter. Instead he stared at one of Roald’s many empty beds, in the corner of the room.
“You there, boy?” he asked. There was no sign to suggest he was and Jason felt his heart sink. “Maybe we should just move,” he suggested to Roald. “Maybe it’s for the be
st? Move on? Start a family?”
The keys on his keyboard suddenly clicked as they were pressed down. He span back around in his char and saw the word ‘no’ had been typed onto the fresh white page. Josh. He sat there and watched as more keys were slowly pressed - his eyes not leaving the paper where the letters were spelling out what Josh wanted to say: ‘Stay with me’. Jason felt a pang in his heart as he sat back - his mind wondering whether everyone was as lonely after they had passed.