by Matt Shaw
“Why are you still here?” he asked. “Surely there has to be something else after we die - somewhere else for us to go? We can’t just stay here. There has to be more.” The thought of being left in the world, as an invisible spirit, after death terrified Jason. He could relate to the loneliness the spirit felt just from how he felt on the days when Emily would come home late from work. Especially on days when he hadn’t left the house because he was too busy with his writing. Those days amplified by an eternity of quiet days filled with solitude. A yearning to communicate yet not having anyone to communicate with. Needless to say Josh didn’t form a reply with the available keys. Jason wondered whether it was because he didn’t want to disappoint him with the knowledge there was nothing else after we die or that the answer was too complex for Josh to readily be able to answer.
Jason sat back on his chair and put his arms behind his head - tormented as to what to do for the best. He didn’t want to upset Emily, or even lose her, but - at the same time - he didn’t want to leave Josh’s spirit to an empty house. For a split second his mind wondered about the possibilities of looking for someone to come and clean the house of the paranormal but only for a split second as he soon dismissed it again, considering the act, even if there were such an act that is, the same as murder albeit an extreme way of looking at the situation.
“You just need to give her some space,” Jason said after he had finished processing everything in his own mind. “I’m sure she’ll get used to the situation,” he continued, “we’ll find a way to make it work - all of us.”
The keys starting to move up and down again as Josh pressed them: ‘Promise?’
“I do,” said Jason. “I’ll let her sleep on it and show her tomorrow that, if she lets it, everything will be okay.”
More dancing across the keys by an invisible force: ‘love u’.
Jason frowned, unsure what to make of Josh’s words. He pushed through with a smile but didn’t say the words back as it felt too strange. Instead he reiterated that, “Everything will be okay.”
15.
The following morning Emily left the house without so much as a goodbye - still clearly annoyed by Jason’s reaction to the pregnancy and the whole moving house situation. Her lack of words also down to the fact that Jason pretended to sleep through her noisily getting ready for work - despite spending half an hour in the toilet throwing up again. He kept his eyes closed for a reason though; Jason didn’t want them to part on bad terms but didn’t know the right words to make things better despite laying awake half the night trying to think of what to say to make her feel okay and, more importantly, loved again. Despite what she thought, about their relationship taking a turn, he’d never stopped loving her and never would. For him - she was the most important thing in the world and, if it boiled down to it, of course he’d leave the house for her. He just didn’t want her throwing the towel in before she’d given it a fair chance for, in his eyes, everything could be perfect there. Sure there was some paranormal activity but it was hardly life threatening. Some might even argue it was helpful - going so far as to pass the salt, when prompted, at the dinner table.
He waited for the front door to slam shut before opening his eyes and sitting up in bed. Normally he’d be happy to lay there for a few more hours until he was properly awake but he knew it was going to be a long day having decided, during the equally long night, that if he didn’t know how to tell Emily that everything was going to be okay, and that he loved her, with the right words - he’d show her with the right actions. And that meant getting one of his friends to give him a lift into the nearest town which was about ten miles away.
Jason reached across to the bedside cabinet, where his mobile phone rested, and picked it up - pulling the charging cable out. He flicked through his contacts until he came across the number for one of his best friends - Travis - and pressed ‘dial’ on the touchscreen. Seconds later the line connected and his friend’s phone was ringing.
“This had better be important,” Travis said as he picked the call up - not even waiting for Jason to say ‘hello’ to him or let him know it was him calling in the first place.
“It’s me,” said Jason - relying on the fact his voice would have been recognised by his old high school friend and that his name would have come up on Travis’ phone even if it weren’t.
“This had better be important,” Travis slurred again as he had clearly been woken up.
“I’m sorry to wake you but I really need your help,” said Jason.
“What’s the problem?”
“My marriage...”
* * * * *
Travis was standing in the shop’s aisle watching as Jason struggled with a flat-packed cot.
“This is your great emergency? You said it was your marriage on the phone. Had I known you were going to be making me shop for shit like this - I wouldn’t have agreed...Seriously - what the hell are we doing here?” asked Travis who, although annoyed at being dragged out to go cot shopping, was enjoying the sight of Jason struggling to get the cot onto the medium-sized trolley.
Travis was the same age as Jason. They had attended the same school and been close friends since their first class together. Unlike Jason - he hadn’t settled down with a partner yet despite the effort he put in, every weekend, to find his perfect woman - an act which, he described to a startled date one drunken evening, meant he had to sleep with as many women as humanly possible. Something which he didn’t exactly struggle with thanks to his looks; over six foot, a good strong build, blonde hair and the brightest blue eyes you’d ever seen. For the record, the woman he divulged his master plan to - that was one date where he didn’t get to seal the deal. It was only for the purpose of sleeping with women that he actually agreed to be Jason’s Best Man at his wedding. Travis believed it was the Best Man’s duty to not only do a truly excellent, and remarkably funny speech but to also nail the Bridesmaids.
Jason never did forget the look on Travis’ face when he first realised the Bridesmaids were Emily’s nieces and both under ten years of age.
“Also - you’ve only just got married...You don’t think this is rushing things? I mean, you even spoken to her about this yet? A kid is a big commitment,” Travis continued.
Jason dropped the box beside the trolley and addressed Travis in the hope that - with the bigger picture explained - he might offer a little more help, “She’s pregnant already. Unplanned, I hasten to add.”
“You’re shitting me, right?”
“No. I wish I were. It would make my life far less complicated.”
“You always said you never wanted children.”
“And I don’t. Well...I do...I might...I don’t know...I haven’t had time to process this yet. Regardless, I love Emily and she seems to want to keep the baby. And, before you say it, I’m not about to ask her to abort it. Anyway, we found out yesterday. For definite. I didn’t handle the news quite as well as I could and now she is properly fucked off with me...”
“I’ll bet. And you thought buying a cot might put her in a good mood?”
“It has to help, right? Show her I am ready for this? Show her I want it too! The way I see it - it can’t hurt and we’ll need one in the future anyway so...Worth a shot.”
“A shot which could have taken place a little later in the day?”
“No. I want to choose some paint for the nursery walls and get this built and set up before she gets home. I thought it would show commitment.”
“You aren’t going to have time to paint before she gets home - unless she’s gone away for a week? A couple of days at least?”
Jason shook his head, “She might even be home early - she has been for the last couple of days. Not sure. I’m not going to paint anyway. I just want her to come in and see this is built and ready and that I’ve chosen paint for the room.”
“I’m not sure...” Travis went to continue speaking but Jason cut him off in mid-sentence.
“Look, I really need some help here.
At the wedding reception you said you’d always be there for us and, right now, I’m asking you to be there for me.”
“I was drunk at the reception - you’re really going to hold me to what I said when I was drunk?” Jason went to speak but Travis jumped in before he had a chance to have another moan at him, “Okay - okay...Let’s do this...But - seriously - next time you want something like this...Make it later in the day. This is my one day off work and I had planned to spend at least the morning in bed.”
Travis walked over and picked up the other end of the box that Jason had been struggling with. Now there were two of them battling with it - little effort was required to finally get it on the trolley.
“Seriously though - you realise you have at least another eight months before you had to pick this up right?”
“Just shut up and push the damn trolley,” Jason ordered him.
“Maybe next you could purchase another car so you don’t need lifts? Just a thought,” Travis pointed out as he started to push the trolley in the direction of the checkouts.
“We don’t need a second car,” Jason pointed out, “it’s unnecessary expenditure.”
“Says the guy who just bought a cot for a little tadpole.”
“Remind me how we’re still friends after all these years?”
“You can’t get enough of my charm and pearls of wisdom,” Travis replied, “and I used to be a great drinking partner before you got that thumb print on your forehead.”
Jason laughed, “Fuck off with the thumb print!”
“No, I meant it. Proper pussy-whipped!” Travis said - his face was deadly serious. “A walking example of why I’m still single.”
“You’re still single because you’re an asshole to put up with,” said Jason, still laughing.
“That’s the second reason why I’m still single,” Travis corrected him.
* * * * *
Travis helped Jason up the stairs with the box, after they have driven back to Jason’s house, but had made it clear from before they had even left the car-park that it was as far as his helpfulness was going to be taking him. He didn’t have to say anything, though. Jason had no intention of asking him to help out with the unpacking and building of the cot. A hand up the stairs was all the help he needed as it minimized the risk of Travis finding out about the presence in his friend’s new house. Jason knew Travis would keep his mouth shut about the pregnancy just as Jason had asked him to in the car - at least until they were ready to announce it after the initial three month’s cooking time - but he knew he wouldn’t have been able to stay silent about a poltergeist living with them. He’d have told every Tom, Dick and Harry - and, most likely, the newspapers too - and that was the last thing Jason needed. Especially whilst things were so delicate within his relatively new, and fragile, marriage.
“Thanks for your help today,” said Jason as they lowered the box to the floor and leant it against the wall, at the top of the stairs.
“Think nothing of it,” said Travis, “at least - nothing of it other than the fact you owe me.” He stood up straight and winced as his back clicked back into place, “So this is the new place, huh? Isn’t it about time you guys had a housewarming party? You know - invite some of those nice looking friends Em has working in her office? Could even call it payment for helping you out today.”
“Take a look around - we haven’t even finished unpacking yet. Anyway - give us a hand with the paint in the back of the car, will you?” said Jason hoping Travis wasn’t about to ask for a look around.
“Sure,” he said, “need to be quick though - places to be and all that,” said Travis.
Jason quietly sighed a small sigh of relief. He knew Travis didn’t have anywhere to be - it was just his way of getting out of doing any additional work or finding himself in the awkward position of having to say ‘no’ if Jason asked for help to build the cot despite Travis telling him, in the store, it wasn’t going to happen.
They walked down the stairs and both jumped when the cot toppled over and banged onto the landing floor.
“Holy shit! Scared the crap out of me,” said Travis as he turned to see what had caused the noise.
Jason didn’t stop. He knew the box couldn’t have toppled without some help. In the back of his mind he briefly wondered whether it was Josh’s way of getting introduced to this new man, and potential friend, or whether it was a genuine accident. “Chicken shit,” he taunted Travis as he stepped out of the front door and onto the driveway where Travis’ car was parked up.
“Fuck you!” laughed Travis. “You jumped too.”
16.
Emily was sitting in the car with the engine running. She was parked in the driveway of her house staring at the property she was supposed to call home. The problem was, though, she didn’t see it as her home. She couldn’t. She saw it as his home. He was there before Emily and Jason so, technically, it was still his home. They were just visitors.
It had been a long day in the office with her mind flitting between this and that - basically anything which wasn’t to do with her job which showed in the small levels of work she actually produced for the day, much to her own line manager’s shock who had said it was, “Most unlike you” and proceeded to ask, “is everything okay?”
Emily hadn’t told her anything. She didn’t mention Josh and she didn’t mention the pregnancy. The latter - she wanted to wait until three months had gone by before saying anything - just to be sure everything would go okay. The last thing she wanted to do was have loads of people find out, congratulate her, and then suffer an early miscarriage. She couldn’t even contemplate losing the baby - let alone having to tell people who had earlier been so happy for her that the baby was gone. One minute they’d be wishing her well, congratulating both her and Jason - not that he did anything other than have an orgasm - and then they’d be offering their condolences, suggesting time away from work to let things settle and then there would be the stage where they’d all be treading on eggshells. She couldn’t think of anything worse.
As for not mentioning Josh - they’d probably think the strain of work, and the recent extra responsibilities they had offered her, were starting to make her crack. Completely different scenario to the losing of the baby but it would end the same way; suggestions of holidays and treading on eggshells.
She felt alone at work and she felt alone at home. She just sat there, staring, wondering if she could just drive away - not that she knew where she’d drive to. It didn’t matter. Anywhere. Anywhere but here.
The front door opened and Jason appeared. He looked just as knackered as Emily felt. He gave her a small wave which she returned - a slight, half-arsed attempt at a smile on her face. Jason stepped down from the porch and approached the car where he opened the passenger door. Emily just watched him as he sat down in the seat next to her.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
Emily shrugged, “Just sitting here.”
Jason nodded. “Well,” he said sensing her fragile disposition, “it’s comfier in the house.”
“It’s a little crowded for my liking,” she said.
“I don’t know - I think by the time we get the bed in here, the kitchen...Even the television set...I think it may actually be a little more cramped in here.” He looked at her, “Come on - come inside...I have something to show you which I think you’ll like.”
“Brochures for new properties?” she asked.
“Come on,” he jumped out of the car and ran round to the driver’s side where he opened the door and extended his hand to help Emily out from her seat, “trust me. I’ve been busy,” he finished.
Emily sighed and took Jason’s hand. A gentle tug, from him, and she was helped to her feet. No sooner was she out of the car then he put his arm around her.
“I’m sorry about last night,” he said. “I want this baby. I want us to be happy. It was just a bad day yesterday. Can we start again?”
“Start again?”
Jason turned Emi
ly so that she was facing him, “Hi! You were quick! So what did the doctor say then?”
Emily shook her head, “You’re an idiot. They said it was probably from birth. Could have been that you were dropped on your head. Apparently, if you were an animal, they would have had you put down.”
Jason smiled, “Good job I’m not an animal then!”
Emily changed the subject, “What did you have to show me?”
“I thought you’d never ask. I hope you appreciate it too for I am truly knackered.” He stepped behind her and covered her eyes with his right hand - leaving his left hand free to help guide her in, and up the stairs.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Trust me. It’s a trust exercise.” He didn’t wait for Emily to put up an argument as he started to guide her towards the house, pointing out when she needed to step left, right, or even go up a step - as was the case when they reached the front door.