Up In Knots

by Gillian Archer

  Rolling his eyes at Gray’s greediness, Sawyer grabbed her around the waist and slowly walked back until they could both kneel on the ground. Gray settled back into the chair and used his fisted hand of her hair to guide her back to his hard-on.

  Sawyer’s balls drew up at the sight. He might be conflicted about their threesome but his dick sure wasn’t. Once Kyla had settled into a rhythm, Sawyer thrust into her in counterpoint to her established rhythm. His momentum threw her into Gray’s lap. Gray looked at him with narrowed eyes.

  It was Sawyer’s turn to glare in reply.

  He knew his former good friend would have some choice words for him later. Sawyer had never gone back on his word. But somehow, with Kyla, he just couldn’t do it. Couldn’t leave her with him. Yet. Whatever. Gray would have to get over it. Sawyer was currently inside his own little slice of heaven and he’d be damned if he’d let Gray fuck that up for him. Grabbing her hip firmly in one hand, he continued to tease her with the other while setting a pounding rhythm. He closed his eyes to block the sight of Gray and concentrated on Kyla’s amazingly tight pussy. Damn, she felt good.

  Her thighs tensed and she came with a muffled shriek. Her body trembled beneath him while her cunt rippled and quaked around him. He tried to draw out the moment but the feeling of her orgasm was too much for him. With a roar, he grabbed her hips and thrust into her one more time.

  Sawyer rested against Kyla, still buried within her but careful not to put pressure on the plug. He needed a minute. His orgasm had wrung every bit of energy from his body. He’d love nothing more than to collapse in his huge bed with his head snuggled against Kyla’s ultra-warm body. But they weren’t alone, as movement from Gray reminded him.

  “That was amazing. Thank you, doll.” With his hand still wrapped around her hair, Gray guided her head up to his and bent forward to meet her in the middle with a soft kiss. After a moment, he pulled away and let go of her.

  About fucking time.

  “I’m sorry I have to wait now. Give me a call when you’re finished playing with this twit.” Gray tucked himself back into his pants, gave Kyla a peck on the end of her nose, then untangled himself from their jumble of limbs before quietly leaving the room. He didn’t look or speak to Sawyer. Yeah, Sawyer would be lucky if his friend ever spoke to him again. Although Gray knew Sawyer was her current dom, he’d made it more than clear when they were alone in the living room that Kyla was on the hunt for someone new. The scene they’d orchestrated to introduce Kyla to her potential new dom had gone off the rails—what with Sawyer turning into a territorial ass during their introduction scene. Which sent mixed signals to everyone in their little threesome. Shit. How did everything get so fucked up?

  He slowly withdrew from Kyla’s warm, clasping body and sat back on his heels. Honestly, he didn’t know what he was going to say to her. He couldn’t even make sense of what was going through his mind. Part of him wanted to hold her close, while the other side of him wanted to run like hell. He shook his head and decided to go with something in the middle. He ran a soothing hand over her upturned ass and said, “Stay here, poppet. I’ll be right back.”

  He ducked out of the room to dispose of the condom and searched his addled brain for something to say to her when he got back. Fuck. What was he going to say?

  * * *

  Kyla kneeled in front of the club chair with her head buried in the cushion and tried to make sense of what had happened. Aside from the most intense orgasm she’d ever had. And after three weeks with Sawyer, that really said something.

  She’d thought tonight and the party was about introducing her to some of Sawyer’s dom friends. He’d certainly given her the impression before the party started that he was ready to let go. If not shove her away from him. And yet just now with Gray, he didn’t. Instead of sitting and watching them play like she’d anticipated, he’d practically run the show. And ran Gray from the room. Then left her alone with her thoughts. What the heck was wrong with that man?

  The sound of the door opening ripped her from her internal thoughts. She straightened up and turned toward Sawyer.

  “Ah, no, sweetheart. Stay there.”

  She felt his hands on her as he turned her back to face the chair, forcing her into a hunched position. He unraveled the loose ropes from her torso then gently caressed her back in a soothing pattern. Lulled into a sense of security, she turned off her brain and decided to enjoy the moment. Tomorrow was soon enough for her whirling thoughts. The feeling of him nudging the plug in her ass had her tensing again.

  He kissed the top of her head and pushed her hair off her face. “Just try to relax, honey.”

  She snorted. “Yeah, I’d like to see you relax with something lodged in your rear end,” she muttered under her breath.

  The wheezing laugh Sawyer gave made her think she didn’t say it quietly enough. But nevertheless she took a deep breath and tried to relax. Out had to be better than in, after all.

  Once Sawyer had removed the plug, he took Gray’s old position in the chair and urged her up into his lap. Surprised at the feeling of his nude body, she wondered vaguely when he had the time to strip. And she had to laugh at her train of thought. Everything in her personal life was topsy turvy, and she wanted to know when her lover had taken off his clothes. It was official, something was wrong with her. But she didn’t have the brain power or the desire to figure out what was going on. She just wanted to enjoy the moment. She snuggled into Sawyer’s firm chest. And given his lack of conversation, he didn’t want to probe the unknown either.

  After a few minutes of cuddling, her breath evened out and she was almost about to fall asleep when she heard Sawyer’s head hit the wall behind him and him whispering to himself.

  “What the fuck am I doing?”

  She stayed as still as possible, not wanting to let on that she wasn’t asleep as he no doubt believed. After a few tense moments, Sawyer’s arms came tight around her and she felt him kiss the top of her head.

  She had no idea what was running through his head. No doubt like her, he was conflicted. She loved the feeling of his arms around her. She felt safe and secure. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time. And yet she’d enjoyed the play with Grayden. His harsh, commanding words and the feel of his fist in her hair had excited her so much. Was there any way she could have both—a relationship with Sawyer and the occasional play partner? Given the way the night started, she doubted it. Sawyer was a man on the run—it was just a matter of time. Unable to come up with a solution, she gave into her weariness and slipped into sleep.

  What felt like only moments later, she was shaken awake by Sawyer. “Come on, poppet. We can’t leave the hell raisers alone for too long. Lord only knows what those guys will do unsupervised. I’d like to be able to sell the place without having to replace all the drywall again.”

  Kyla blinked her heavy lids and tried to figure out where they were. The office surroundings and the nest of ropes at her feet had the memories of the last—she squinted at the clock on the wall and did a little mental math—hour slamming back into her. Grayden. Sawyer. The plug. She shivered.

  “I, uh, you... Um, I don’t have anything to wear.”

  Sawyer snorted at her statement. “Trust me, Kyla. The dress code at one of my parties—at this time of night—is lax. You’re fine just how you are.”

  She stood up and looked from his naked body to her own. “Only if you’re going downstairs like that. I will if you will.”

  “Is that a dare?”

  She blinked at the hard tone of his voice. Had she overstepped the line? She was getting ready to apologize when his husky laugh filled the room.

  “You really should think twice before daring me. Let’s go.”

  She only had time to open her mouth before Sawyer grabbed her hand and tugged her from the room. Walking down the hall, Kyla grinned at the sight of
Sawyer’s naked butt flexing in front of her. Oh wow, that man had one fine behind. The visual, combined with his firm, masterful grasp on her hand, almost had her wet before they even reached the stairs. Of course, whenever Sawyer looked in her direction she was instantly wet so it wasn’t that much of a stretch. She wished she could somehow lure him back to his bedroom so they could continue what he had unknowingly started but she found it impossible to muster the courage. The jumble of feelings he’d stirred up with that last scene made her uncertain of where exactly they stood. Plus they were now standing at the top of the stairs and she didn’t want to make it a public scene if he reprimanded her advances. They had started to descend when a shriek stopped her in her tracks.

  “Oh my God. Jamie, no!”

  Sawyer stopped in front of her but at that last word, he grinned and grabbed her hand. “This is one scene I gotta see,” he said before pulling her down the stairs and into the far room.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Sawyer knew without a doubt who’d shrieked. Jamie and Lauren weren’t big on public sceneing. He could count on one hand the number of times they’d played at one of his parties over the last two years. Whatever Jamie had cooked up had to be good. Shouldering his way through the group congregated in the entryway, he worked his way to the front of the pack but what he found stopped him in his tracks.

  Lauren had her hands up to her face as silent sobs shook her body. Her naughty school girl outfit was still intact, right down to the braids and knee socks. But she wasn’t the one bent over a knee or a table. If fact she wasn’t the one on her knees.

  His best friend, Jamie, kneeled at her feet. An odd position for a top to be in, which could only mean one thing.

  Lauren shook her head. “No. Don’t do this to me. Not here.”

  A collective gasp left the surrounding group as Jamie pulled a ginormous diamond ring from his pants pocket.

  “Lauren, we’ve known each other for over a year. And it seems only right to do this where it all began. Or as close to it as I could get without tipping you off.”

  Lauren closed her eyes and shook her head again.

  “I can’t imagine anyone else I’d rather have at my side or over my knee.” He paused as the group laughed. “I’ve loved you since the moment I met you. You mean the world to me. You make me want to be a better man. I’ve become a better man since I met you. I can’t imagine my world without you and I hope I never will. Lauren, will you marry me?”

  Sawyer held his breath as he watched what had to be one of the most vulnerable moments for his best friend. Jamie’s entire world hung in anticipation of her answer.

  “I-I, oh my God. Yes. Yes. I’ll marry you!”

  The room broke out in applause, and Sawyer joined in.

  Jamie slipped the ring on her finger, then stood and swept her into his arms.

  Sawyer watched the couple with a slight sheen filming his eyes. He was happy for them. He’d never met two people who challenged each other and yet completed each other more. Jamie had become more content and calm since meeting Lauren. Even a jaded son of a bitch like him could see it.

  He jumped when a small hand snaked around his own. He looked down and saw Kyla standing next to him, wearing nothing but a large smile.

  He smiled back. “Think we should go congratulate the happy couple?” He stepped forward and clapped Jamie on his back. “Congratulations, man. You’ve got a great girl there.”

  “Don’t I know it,” Jamie replied, pulling away from Lauren and turning to Sawyer.

  “May I kiss the soon-to-be bride?” Sawyer took a step toward Lauren but stopped in his tracks at Jamie’s hand on his chest.

  “Not in this lifetime. And never when you’re buck ass naked.”

  Chagrined, Sawyer took a step back. But he couldn’t resist tossing a wink Lauren’s way when he saw where her rapt attention was located.

  She closed her eyes as a red flush stole over her face. “You do realize, Jamie, every time I think of our engagement I’m going to picture Sawyer naked and slack-jawed. And what the hell am I going to tell my mother? I can’t tell her you proposed in the middle of a BDSM party!”

  Sawyer shuddered as he remembered the stories about Jamie’s future in-laws. Of course there were negatives with commitment. How nice of Lauren to reinforce them right as he was beginning to soften.

  “I think I need to remind someone who wears the pants in this relationship.” Jamie took Lauren’s hand, her diamond sparkling and refracting light. “Your guest room still available?”

  Sawyer laughed. “Hard to tell this time of night. You might wanna knock.”

  Jamie jerked his head in a tight nod, then bent toward Lauren, nudged his shoulder into her stomach and lifted her in a fireman’s hold. He jostled her a bit, settling her into a more comfortable position. He paused next to Kyla and murmured, “If you’ll excuse us.”

  Sawyer’s shoulders shook as Lauren’s shrieking laughter filled the room. “You cannot blame this one on me. Sawyer’s naked, and you decided this was the perfect place to propose! Not my fault!”

  Whatever she said next was drowned out by the roar of the crowd. No doubt Jamie had reminded her who was the dominant.

  Sawyer shook his head and looked at the gorgeous, naked woman cuddled at his side. “Never a dull moment around here.”

  Kyla looked from him to the direction Jamie had disappeared to and back again. “No, I would never call it dull.” She fell silent as a pained expression swept over her face. She bit her lip and turned away.

  All the levity from the unorthodox proposal left him as he watched the play of emotions on Kyla’s face. No doubt she was thinking it should’ve been her. By her account, Adam had been on the cusp of proposing when he’d died. It wasn’t rational, but a seed of jealousy grew in his chest. After all this time, how could she still be thinking of him? He was the one standing next to her. He was the one who’d been inside her an hour ago. Fuck, why would she think of anyone else? Adam had been the good guy, while he still couldn’t get his shit together.

  Sawyer didn’t know what to say. He wanted more than anything at that moment to make it right. He wanted to make all her hurt and disappointment disappear, but he didn’t have the words. He just held her close to him and rubbed a soothing hand over her back.

  * * *

  Four hours later, Sawyer reclined in bed with a sleepy Kyla tucked into his side. He knew she was tired, probably on the verge of sleep. He was mostly responsible for her exhaustion, after all. But his mind wouldn’t shut off. He thought about Grayden. Jamie and Lauren. His family. The swirl of emotions built inside him until he had to say something.

  “I’ve never been good in a relationship.”

  Kyla’s body jolted at his rumbly confession.

  “I know,” she whispered. “You told me at least a hundred times.”

  “But I never told you why.”

  She stroked his chest and didn’t say anything.

  He lay back and stared up where the ceiling would be, if he could see it. But with his darkened room, he could only vaguely make out part of the bed frame and nothing beyond. He liked the darkness. Usually it matched his emotions. “It’s my fucking father’s fault. And my mom. They’re so screwed up, I never stood a chance.”

  Kyla’s hand stilled on his chest. “What did they do to you?”

  “Nothing like what you’re thinking.” He laughed bitterly. “My dad’s a verbally abusive drunk. He liked to get tanked, then let us all know what a disappointment we were. Or how lazy I was at eight years old because I got two weeks off for Christmas and he had to work. Eight years old. Of course, my mom didn’t do anything. Except make excuses for him. It’s stress. You need to learn to stay out of his way. Fucked-up shit like that. And sure enough, the next morning it was like nothing happened. Like they had amnesia or somethi
ng. Very WASPy. Only they weren’t Protestants—my parents were Mormons. And hypocrites.”

  “Hypocrites?” Kyla resumed her gentle stroking like she could soothe all his troubles away.

  If only it were that simple.

  “If you’re Mormon, you’re not supposed to drink alcohol. Goes against their tenets. But my father did. Every fucking night. And still had the nerve to show up to church every Sunday. And we were supposed to sit there like the perfect family. I was supposed to forget he spent the night before ripping me a new one because I was too stupid to remember to put a garbage bag in the can.

  “I don’t know who’s worse, my dad for being a miserable drunk or my mom for staying with him.”

  He fell silent as all those tormented childhood memories came rushing back. Christ, he’d spent so much of the last ten years focusing on anything but his fucked-up family. Aside from the times his sisters called to drag him back. Or tried to. Nothing short of his father entering rehab could get him back inside that house again.

  “I noticed tonight and before that you never drink alcohol. Is that why? Because of your dad?”

  Sawyer’s hand clenched around her shoulder. “Part of the reason anyhow.”

  He felt a tickle against his cheek as Kyla nodded. But she didn’t say anything. He knew she cared about him. Hell, if he were honest with himself, he more than liked her too. But she didn’t know the real him. No one ever really did.

  “It’s because of my dad. And Meghan.”

  Kyla cuddled closer to his side. He took her silence as encouragement to continue.

  “I was such an ass in high school. Thought I was king of the school. I was popular, had the hottest girl on my arm. I could do no wrong. Until the night Nick Chapel threw a year-end bash our senior year after finals. Last thing I remember is having my second beer, hanging out with Nick and Meghan, shooting the shit and then nothing. I got so fucking drunk...I blacked out.