Now My Life Begins

by Shirley Roe

  “Got ya, Jenny. He plays everyday at one o'clock.”

  “I thought I was losing my mind.” She laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks and the two of them fell back on the blanket in hysterics. Jenny sat up, wiping her face and looked into Tim's eyes.

  “Oh Tim, it feels so good to laugh again. I had forgotten how much fun you and I had so many years ago. Thank you.” She reached up and stroked his cheek. He took her hand in his. He wanted to say the words that were stuck in his throat, but instead he gently lifted her to her feet.

  “Let's go and have an ice cream shall we? I believe that was the rest of this fantasy, wasn't it.” Jenny laughed.

  “Yes, but it had to be chocolate, remember?” She was enjoying herself immensely. It felt as if she was a young girl again. Jenny and Tim were like children again, laughing and joking with each other. She remembered that day often when she was back in Edinburgh.

  The first attack of the Luftwaffe began the summer of 1940. German bombers attacked RAF airfields in the south of England; Biggin Hill was one of the first. The ‘Battle of Britain’ had begun and the skies over England were filled with German and British fighter planes battling for supremacy. RAF pilots were lost at an alarming and unsustainable rate.

  Scotland too, was under attack. Over one million gallons of whisky were destroyed when a German bomb hit a bonded store in Dalry Road, Gorgie in Edinburgh in September of 1940.

  Tim closed all but one of his shops. It was the largest of his shops in London. Situated on a busy street in Central London, the building was two stories with living quarters above the store. Eddie and Mary and the two children happily lived in the flat. Tim and Eddie operated the shop during daylight hours, equipped with blackout curtains and a basement shelter. Eddie had been working with Tim for several years and they were close. Tim liked having his family close by and everyday one of the children came in to say hello to him. Mary was a plain, loving woman who loved her family and worked hard to keep them all happy.

  One night as they closed the shop, Eddie spoke the words that Tim had been dreading, “Da, I am going to sign up. There is a great need for pilots and I want to go and train. I took a few flying lessons before the war and I feel that I have to do this.” Tim looked at his youngest son sadly. He pulled him into his arms and uncharacteristically hugged him tight.

  “What about Mary and the children?”

  “It is for Mary and the children and all the other children that I want to do this. I won't have my children raised to be Nazis!” Tim looked into his son's eyes and he saw the same determination that he had in his own so many years ago. “Take care of Mary, Alex and Judith for me, Da.”

  During a telephone conversation, Tim relayed his feelings to Jenny. “My God, Jenny now Eddie wants to sign up. Brian is somewhere in Europe fighting for his life, Dorothy left for America last month and now Eddie is leaving. I feel so alone.” Jenny's heart was breaking for him.

  “Why don't you bring Eddie's wife and the children here? The Germans seem more interested in England, and at least they will be safer here in Scotland. You and Gordon can spend some time together. All of you can stay here; my home is large enough for all of us. Or if we have to, we can all go to Gordon's country home in Aviemore.”

  “Jenny, we couldn't impose on you like that.” Tim was touched by the offer. “Besides, I have the one shop still open and people are counting on me. Clothing is getting harder to find with the virtual stop on cloth imports. They will be rationing clothes soon, Jenny, you mark my words.”

  “Rationing clothes, dear Lord what next! You can't be serious, Tim.”

  “I am serious. More and more chemicals that are used for dyeing clothes are used for explosives and other much needed resources for the war effort. Even buttons are getting hard to purchase.” Jenny could not believe the toll this war was taking on her beloved country.

  “Think about it, Tim. The offer is open whenever you want to come.” He felt better after talking to Jenny, but first he had to take care of business. Eddie was leaving the next day.

  Gordon arrived to take Jenny to dinner. They were doing their best to keep life on an even keel, but it was difficult. “Tim is so worried about his children. I told him to bring Mary and the children here, but he refused. Gordon, I am worried about them.”

  “Right now, I have my own problems, Jenny. Jake told me this morning that he wants to go to America. Apparently, the law firm that Dorothy McKitterek has joined is looking for more lawyers and Jake is considering it.”

  “Gordon, at least Jake is not going to war. America is the place for the young people right now. Ralph is talking about going to California after this assignment is over. He is a war correspondent photographer right now and Rose doesn't like it one bit. She is terrified that he will be killed. I think she will encourage him to take the job in California just to save his life.” Gordon helped her with her coat and they went to Edinburgh's finest restaurant.

  The restaurant was filled to capacity with an older clientele. All of the young men were off fighting the war and their wives were home taking care of the children. Only the older, wealthy patrons continued to dine out. Jenny and Gordon were seated at a table overlooking the street. “It is nice to have a quiet evening. Now tell me about Jake going to America. I didn't realize he and Dorothy were corresponding.” Gordon proceeded to tell Jenny about Jake's plans and his own concerns. “Dorothy and Jake are a curious pair. I don't know if they are going to end up together romantically or if they are just friends, but I do know Jake is very fond of her.”

  “It seems our children are deserting us, Gordon, but they have to make their own way in this world. It is important that we let them make their own decisions.” Gordon nodded in agreement. “Let me tell you what Tim said about clothes rationing of all things.”

  After a pleasant meal they drove through the streets of Edinburgh. Women wearing turbans and one-piece siren suits with zippers up the front walked wearily home from the factories. Jenny commented “Look at those women wearing one piece jumpsuits and rags on their heads covering their hair. A few years ago you would never have seen that. When I remember how Amy and I would spend hours trying on hats and dresses to look just right for you and Harry, I have to laugh. Now all you have to do is tie your hair up in a rag and throw on your siren suit and off you go. What is this world coming to? It does look as if there is a clothing ration already.” Gordon just laughed.

  “There are many changes and many more to come I'm afraid, if this war lasts much longer. They have chosen East Lothian as a training ground for air and ground. Troops from Poland arrived last week. It is not common knowledge, but we will play and important role in secret war efforts.”

  “What on earth are secret war efforts?” Jenny was impressed by Gordon's knowledge of so many subjects. As a researcher, he always made excellent conversation and she learned a great deal from him.

  “We are training members of the Special Operations Executive, you know listening to enemy radio messages, building secret bunkers. Scotland is in the thick of it, Jenny. I am thinking more and more that we should go to Aviemore.” He drove her to the door. “I won't come in, Jenny. I'm going to see Jake.” She pecked his cheek and waved as he drove down the laneway. Slowly, she climbed the stairs and opened the large oak door to her home. Jenny always had a feeling of great joy and comfort when she walked into her home, even after all these years. She would not be happy if she had to leave it and go to Aviemore, but she would do whatever was necessary to make a safe home for Walter and her staff. She looked up to see Walter coming from the study, several agricultural books and a newspaper in his hand. He had a voracious appetite for books.

  “Walter, come and sit with me. Tell me what you have been up to today.” Walter smiled, put the books he was carrying down on the table and followed Jenny into the parlor. She sat on the settee. Walter went to the sideboard and poured her a sherry. He did not pour one for himself. Walter did not drink any alcohol. After setting her glass do
wn, he disappeared to the kitchen, returning minutes later with a large glass of milk. The two sat in front of the roaring fire and chatted about the day. Jenny was grateful for Walter's company.

  “What are you reading now, Walter?”

  “Just reading the agricultural news. Did you know that fields are being plowed in Scotland to feed the people all over Great Britain? The war is causing a shortage and we are growing all the food. Isn't that wonderful?”

  “We all have to do what we can for the war effort.” Jenny was proud of Walter. He didn't talk much but he loved to talk about agriculture and gardening.

  “Some lads at the market were talking about signing up, Mistress Jenny. I think I should sign up.” Jenny looked at Walter in horror. She gulped at the bile rising in her throat.

  “Walter, don't even think that. You must stay here with me. You know I need you to take care of me.” Jenny was horrified to think of Walter as a soldier. He was a dear, sweet and gentle man. Jenny was terrified to think he would go to the enlistment office. She knew that the forces needed every able bodied man and would sign him up in spite of his simplemindedness so she had to make him think she could not do without him.

  “Yes Mistress Jenny, I know, but this is war. That's what the lads said.”

  “Some of the lads will sign up, Walter, but others must stay here and defend their families. We all have a part to play.” Her mind was racing. Think of something Jenny, think. Suddenly she blurted out, “Would you like to come and work with me at the Red Cross? That way you can make a contribution and still be here to take care of me.”

  “The Red Cross! Oh yes, please. I would like that very much.” Walter was satisfied and Jenny sighed a sigh of relief. Thank you, God.

  Jake McDonald left Edinburgh, Scotland the first week of August. His father waved goodbye to him at the train station knowing it would be a very long time before he saw his son again. Gordon was very quiet that night when he visited Jenny. She tried to talk to him about trivial things but he was thinking about Jake. Finally she broached the subject, “Will Jake start work right away when he arrives in New York?”

  “What?” Gordon was not really listening. “Sorry, Jenny, what did you say?”

  “I asked if Jake would start work right away. Gordon, what is the matter?”

  “Yes, the law firm is anxious for him to arrive. Apparently they have several big cases that Jake will be perfect for. Dorothy is very busy and is happy working for the firm. I spoke with her on the telephone the other day.” Gordon gave Jenny his undivided attention now. “She really is a lovely young woman. I hope she and Jake take their relationship to another level.” She realized he was worried about not seeing Jake.

  “When all of this war business is over, you and I should take a trip to New York. I would love to see America.” Jenny's suggestion brought a smile to his face. He knew she was trying to cheer him up.

  “What a wonderful idea, Jenny. Let's do that shall we?” He relaxed a little and the conversation turned to other things. Jenny told Gordon about Walter joining the Red Cross, and he was very pleased. They discussed the fact that the manor house in Aviemore had a skeleton staff and was ready if they needed it. She told him she would want to take her entire staff of four and he agreed. Gordon knew how important the people that worked for Jenny were to her.

  A month later, Gordon learned from Tim that the first air raids on London had started. They were aimed at the industrial areas and the docklands in London's East End. “Raids by day and night, Gordon. It is hell. Two of my shops were hit, demolished completely. Fortunately the one big shop that I still have opened is standing. There are anti-aircraft guns in the streets of London. It feels like we are back in the Balkans plus I'm having terrible nightmares.”

  “Bring your family here to Scotland, Tim and we will all go and stay in my country house in Aviemore. How are Mary and the children coping?” Gordon was very worried about his friend.

  “Mary is a brave woman, but I have been thinking of your offer. I will call you later in the week and let you know what we are going to do. I hate seeing my family living in a war zone.”

  In mid September, the Luftwaffe attacked the rest of London, Buckingham Palace was bombed. Tim's other daughter-in-law, Brian's wife and their two children went to live with her parents in Ireland. Brian had been gone for two years, but Tim still received the odd letter from the front. Now two of his sons were fighting for their lives. He made a decision. Tim brought Mary and the two children, Alex and Judith, to Edinburgh. Hundreds of tons of bombs were dropped on London.

  “Eddie told me in a letter that the RAF had no useful night fighters, Gordon. We could see for ourselves. The night raids were fast and furious. Roads and railways are damaged. We were lucky to get out. Thank God for automobiles.” Tim and Gordon sat in the pub on the Royal Mile. The children and Mary were getting settled at Jenny's for the time being.

  “I think we should all head north next week. Things are heating up here as well, Tim.”

  “Gordon, the smell in London was overwhelming. The sewers and the gas and water lines were broken like sticks. Although the city council is trying to stay on top of it, it really is becoming a nightmare.” The two agreed that the safest place to be was Aviemore.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Jenny's beautiful home sat looking forlorn and empty. The windows were boarded up and there were bars on the doors. It made her cry to see her home in such a state. The two cars were loaded with luggage and people. Gordon, Tim and the two children rode in one car driven by Gordon's chauffeur. Jenny and Mary with Walter driving followed in the second car. They agreed to stop several times and change cars so that the children could ride with their mother part of the way. Tim's car sat in the rear with the staff and more luggage. “Don't cry, Jenny, you will come back here after the war. The house will survive.” Gordon tried to placate her, but she was not as sure that the house would not be gone, bombed like many other homes in England and Scotland.

  As the entourage drove through the countryside, conversation turned to their destination.

  “Tell us about Aviemore, Gordon.” Tim and his grandchildren were curious.

  “Aviemore sits in the north west of the Cairngorm Mountain range. The River Spey runs through it. The famous Glenmore Lodge, an old Victorian hunting lodge, is about six miles east of Aviemore.” Gordon opened the car window to allow fresh air in. “Aviemore is an old town. It was actually settled in the 1600's, but it wasn't until the 1800's that the railway arrived. It has always been a popular tourist destination. Judith, did you know that Queen Victoria spent a lot of time at Grantown-on-Spey?” Judith shook her head. British royalty fascinated the young girl.

  “It sounds very wild and natural, Gordon. I think the children are going to love it.”

  “I want to see a deer.” Judith piped up. “I hope the hunters don't kill the deer before we get there.”

  “Don't worry, Judith, there are hundreds of deer in the Cairngorms.” Gordon was enjoying the children and was anxious to share his country home with his friends.

  “I want to see a rabbit,” added Alex.

  “A rabbit? Silly, we see rabbits all the time at home.” Judith looked at her younger brother. “Imagine coming all this way to see more rabbits.” She rolled her eyes.

  “I like rabbits. I want to see at least a hundred rabbits.” Alex defended himself. The grownups laughed.

  “You will like the Drumintoul Lodge, Alex. There are many animals on display. The area has one of the best taxidermists in Scotland.”

  “What a strange name, Drummy Tools.” Alex was having trouble with the Scottish names.

  “Not Drummy Tools, Drumintoul.” Judith quickly corrected. At seven she was very proper and sometimes her little brother annoyed her.

  “Yes, Alex, Drumintoul Lodge is another old Victorian hunting lodge. It lies in the ancient pine forest on the Rothiemurchus Estate.” Gordon winked at Tim. “Can you say

  Rothiemurchus?”

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sp; Alex gave it his best try, but Judith interrupted him. “Rothiemurchus, that is easy.”

  “There is a lovely small loch there and we will all go fishing one day.”

  Alex gave Gordon a funny look. “A loch? What is a loch?”

  “It's a lake, Alex. The Scots call lakes, lochs. You will learn a lot of new words here in Scotland.” Tim ruffled Alex's hair. They enjoyed the trip north. At the half waypoint they stopped, and the children went into the other car and rode the rest of the way with Jenny and Mary.

  “Ma, we are going to a loch to fish,” Alex proclaimed loudly. Mary smiled at her children. She was glad they were going to be safe, but she missed her husband. She looked out the window sending a silent prayer skyward. The children settled down, and soon they were sleeping soundly. Jenny got to know Mary during the long drive, and she liked her very much. Mary was a simple young woman, but fiercely protective of her family. She reminded Jenny of herself so many years ago. A young country girl from Watsworth, who came to conquer the world in Edinburgh.

  The entourage arrived at Gordon's county house just before dark. They climbed from the cars, Tim and Mary staring at the McDonald house. The house was huge, much bigger than Jenny's home in Edinburgh. Mary found it a bit overwhelming at first. Tim's first impression was that it was square and solid, with a look of permanence about it. It was a safe place for his family. He was very impressed, more with the surrounding countryside than the mansion itself. He and Alex explored the grounds while the servants unloaded the cars and settled everyone in their rooms.

  “Grandpa, look sheep!” Alex pointed to the dozens of sheep grazing on the hillside. “I think I'm going to like it here.” The small boy smiled widely at his grandfather. Tim took in the rolling hills covered in heather and the long trickle of water cascading down the mountainside. The sun had set and the entire scene became a dusky gray. He had to agree with Alex, “Yes Alex, I think I am going to like it here as well.”