Bourbon & Bonfires

by Andrea Johnston

  “Babe, there is no question there for me to answer. I needed you to commit to three so you would agree to spend time with me. Do you want to stop spending time together?”

  Her gaze goes to an invisible piece of lint on my shirt as she picks at it with her fingers and keeps her head down and shakes her head.

  “Hey,” I begin as I lift her chin so her gaze is forced up, and our eyes meet. “I have told you since day one I want to spend time with you. I like you, Addy, and want to be with you. You can’t tell me you think anything different.”

  I wait for her to respond and when she doesn’t, my heart sinks. “I guess the question is, do you want to be with me?”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “Why isn’t it? I like you, you like me. You do, right?” She nods. “Then tell me what’s wrong. Something is bothering you.”

  “I think if we end this now, we won’t get hurt, and we can be friends.”

  “We are friends, Addison. And, we’re more too. Why does it have to be one or the other?” I’m trying to be patient, but this is the same conversation we’ve had more than once in the last three weeks. I’m starting to wonder if she’ll ever be all in.

  “I don’t want you wasting your time with me. What if you miss out on the love of your life because you’re here with me and my hot flashes? That’s a real thing, Landon. I know I told you I ate a hot pepper, but I didn’t.” I want to laugh at her confession because if she thought I believed the hot pepper excuse, she doesn’t give me enough credit.

  “I’m a woman approaching forty and this is me—hot flashes, lines around my eyes that aren’t from smiling but from life, and a preference to stay home and eat takeout while I binge watch a random television show instead of going to a bar. We won’t talk about what happens when gravity takes over.” This time I do laugh, which garners me a smack on the chest.

  “Landon, you’re just thirty. You have your whole life ahead of you and you’re . . . you’re so great with kids. You will be a wonderful father. If you date me, you could miss the chance to have that.”

  She’s so serious and beautiful right now. Laying her heart out for me. I want to tell her it’ll be okay and none of that matters. It doesn’t. None of it. Except maybe the kids. I’ve always wanted kids, and if she’s saying she doesn’t want more, that’s something we’d have to discuss when the time comes. But it’s been three weeks and we are nowhere near that level of conversation. Even if I can’t imagine a day in my life without her and Mason.

  My head is swimming with everything she’s said and everything I’m feeling. Instead of responding, I kiss her. Slowly.

  “You can’t kiss this away.”

  “I’m not. I needed to do that. Look, Addy. We’ve been dating three weeks. Don’t even try to correct me and say we aren’t. We are. I want to keep seeing you. There is nobody else I want to be with. The thought of you with someone else makes my blood boil. I need you to promise me there’s nobody else, okay? I’m far too handsome for jail.” I wink for good measure, and it gains me a smile in return.

  “Let me recap before I continue,” I say as hold up a finger and begin my list. “I like you. You like me. We like each other. I pretty much love your kid, and he can’t help but idolize me.” A smack to the chest from her and a kiss from me before I proceed with my list. “I don’t want to date anyone else and neither do you. I want to keep making out like a couple of horny teenagers, and when you’re ready I want to lay you down on my bed and strip everything from your body slowly until you’re begging me to hurry. Then, as soon as I have you naked, I’m going to worship your body inch by inch before I give you two, maybe three, of the most amazing orgasms of your life. And those multiple orgasms will be a given since you’ve decided to take a chance on a thirty-year-old guy who believes you are absolutely the most amazing woman in the world.”

  Her eyes water with unshed tears, and I kiss her again, slower and longer this time. “I’m not making promises, and I’m not going to confess anything, but have no doubt, Addison Sinclair, I’m all in and want to see where this goes. I need you to do the same.”

  “Why is it when we talk you sound like the older one of this duo?”

  “It’s my charm. And we’re a couple, babe. Not a duo. That’s Batman and Robin.”

  My attempt to break the tension of the conversation is successful, and while I know this make-out session won’t lead to those orgasms, we’re at least on the same page with this relationship.

  “Oh my God! Addy is that a hicky?”

  “Minnesota, shh.”

  “Do not shush me, Addison Sinclair. You dirty girl, it is a hicky.”

  “Ugh.” I don’t even bother trying to lie and lay my head on my hands. When I saw the monstrosity this morning I almost died. I sent Landon a text with a selfie and WTF typed across it with an arrow pointing to my neck.

  “Don’t be so dramatic. I have a hicky too.” All eyes dart to Piper who blushes and smiles. “What? I’m married not dead. Ben just keeps them where nobody can see them. I can only imagine the shit that one,” she says, pointing at Ashton, “would give me if I had one on my neck.”.

  “Damn skippy. I like to live in my own world where my brother and best friend are married and trying to make me a niece, but they don’t do anything sexual.”

  “How’s that working out for you?” I ask.

  “Well, it was great until she just told us he leaves marks on her body in places we can’t see.”

  The table erupts in laughter, and we change the subject when the waitress arrives with our breakfasts. Now that I’m officially dating a younger man, I need to be more conscious of my food choices and ordered an egg white omelet with fruit. My plate is sad. As much as I love pancakes, my body no longer processes carbs like it used to, and Landon is going to see me naked. One day. And when that day comes, I don’t want to have any regrets at the number of pancakes I consumed. Heck, I almost stripped myself last night when he told me what he was going to do to me when he got me in bed. I didn’t though. Instead, I let him lead me to the brink of pleasure with his kisses and a little under the shirt action before I sent him home to take a cold shower and then I took one myself.

  “Oh great. Incoming,” Ashton mumbles as she stuffs a large bite of food in her mouth. The other girls groan in response. Confused, I turn to where they’re looking. A tall blonde is walking our direction. While the five of us are in our workout clothes, she’s dressed for Sunday brunch at The Plaza Hotel. Which is odd since we’re in Lexington and at a small diner.

  “Ladies, you’re all looking quite . . . sporty.”

  “Go away, Felicity.” Ashton sure did swallow that food quickly.

  “Ashton, I hear congratulations are in order. You managed to trap the most eligible bachelor of Lexington with a baby. Your parents must be so proud.”

  “Go to hell, you stupid bi—”

  “Ash, don’t. Felicity, it’s lovely to see you, have a nice day,” Piper graciously says. I feel like I’m watching a tennis match, my eyes bouncing from person to person.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Felicity Remington-Thorne,” the blonde says, extending her hand in greeting. I take it in mine and shake before speaking.

  “Hello, I’m Addy Sinclair.” I don’t say it’s nice to meet her because I have the feeling nobody at my table would agree.

  “I know everyone in town, but I don’t know you.”

  “Oh, we moved to Lexington a few months ago. That’s probably why.”

  “We? Oh, are you married? I’m married. My husband is traveling for business currently, that’s why I’m here. Our children adore their pancakes. Pancakes are so juvenile, full of unnecessary fat and calories, but I like to keep them happy.”

  Suddenly, I’m grateful I went with the omelet and not the pancakes. Being scrutinized by this woman is the last thing I want.

  “Addison is actually dating Landon,” Minnie almost shouts and everyone looks at her before she shrugs.


  “Oh really. Aren’t you . . . a little mature for him?”

  “Mature? Something you know nothing about. Why don’t you pretend to be a parent, Felicity, and leave us alone. Go now, shoo,” Ashton says, waving her hands dismissively. Just as she does an older woman walks in the diner with two children and Felicity turns on her heel and walks away without another word.

  “Who was that? And how do I avoid her?” I ask. Everyone laughs, and Dakota is the one who answers.

  “That is one of the most unhappy and bitter women I have ever met. She gets off on being horrible to Piper and Ashton. It’s almost like her hobby. The upside is they both dish it back just fine and keep Min and I entertained.”

  “But, her mother is one of the nicest women in town. She owns a little shop on Main. We’ll have to go shopping there one day.”

  “I’m pretty sure she just called me old.”

  “You’re not old, and Felicity is . . . well, she’s a cruel woman who only feels good about herself when she can cut someone else down. Avoid her and you’ll be fine,” Piper suggests.

  Regardless of how much her advice makes sense, the jab at my age hits me a little where it hurts, and I remember my warning to Landon last night. The reality is, no matter how much he says he cares or wants to make things work, he’s the one making sacrifices to date me, and I stand to lose nothing. Well, except maybe my heart.

  After breakfast, I run a few errands and am not surprised to find Landon and Mason on my couch in the middle of one of their epic gaming sessions. Last weekend Landon declared Saturdays to be the day of rest, which was actually code for hanging out and playing video games with my son.

  I no sooner place the lunch meat in the drawer of the refrigerator when two arms wrap themselves around me from behind and wet kisses are left all along my neck. I’m only a few nibbles from my knees buckling and step out of Landon’s embrace before I embarrass myself.

  “Come on, babe. You can’t really be mad. I didn’t mean to leave a mark. I was caught up in you; surely I get a pass for that. Or at the very least, you can accept some of the blame.”

  “Shit. I forgot about that.” Rushing to my bedroom, I search for a sweatshirt or a scarf. Something to put on and hide the mark on my neck from the world.

  “So, this is your room?”

  I turn to find Landon standing in the doorway to my bedroom. Leaning against the doorjamb with one foot over the other, he looks casual and perfect. Hell, he’s even barefoot again. My heart is pounding; I can hear each pulse in my ears. I bite my lip to keep my tongue from hanging out of my mouth like a dog.

  “You’ve never been in here?” I ask. That seems odd, but then again, why would he have been?

  “Nope. It’s nice. Are you really mad?”

  “What? I’m not mad. I forgot about it, and don’t want to explain this to Mason.” I walk to the mirror and stretch my neck to assess the darkness of the spot. “Besides, it’s bad enough I need to have ‘the talk’ with him. That’s a conversation his father should have with him. I’ve been in denial about it, but he’s almost fifteen and it needs to happen.”

  “I’ll do it if you want.”

  I stop pulling the sweatshirt on over my head at his statement. He’ll talk to Mason about sex for me. He’ll do what Dan isn’t around to do. What a father does. For me. Dammit, he’s too good.

  “I’m a nurse, I can handle it.”

  “Baby,” he says, walking toward me. I won’t lie. My heart leaps anytime he calls me babe or baby. Shit, when he calls me turnip I secretly love it. Dan never did that. He didn’t think nicknames served a purpose. I called him honey once and you would have thought I called out another man’s name in bed.

  “I know you can talk to him about sex, but you’re right, it’s kind of a guy thing. If you don’t want it to be me, that’s fine, but you also know Taylor will step up. You have people to help you. Let us.”

  I don’t respond with words. Instead, I fling myself into his arms, and when he catches me, he lifts me up, our faces level, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He’s right. I do have people here to help me. I have support and family. I have Landon.

  “I’d appreciate it if you talked to him. I think he’d prefer that,” I say after my assault on his mouth.

  “Consider it done. Now, how about more of this kissing while I hold you like this,” he says, cupping my ass with his large hands. I laugh and hear Mason shout for us from the front room, breaking the moment.

  “Fucking little cockblocker. That’s going to be our first conversation about sex.”

  We both laugh as I slide down his body until my feet hit the floor. He kisses me once again before taking the strings to the hood of my sweatshirt and pulling them a little. The movement tightens the hood, covering my neck better. Stepping out of the way, he motions for me to pass him and when I do, he smacks my butt and I yelp.

  “Next time I’ll leave those marks where nobody can see them.”

  And just like that, I’m wondering when next time is.

  I’ve been spending my days trying to wrap my mind around this business. Accounting, vendor issues, and employee corralling is not what I want to do with my life. I’ve never given much thought to the business side of things, preferring to just work and then go about my life once the work day is over. Now that my dad has handed me the business, all of that has changed. I’m taking fewer calls, had to hire someone to fill the hole I left when I had to start spending more time behind this desk, and I find myself tugging at my hair more and more as the day goes on.

  When I’m not at work, I’m in the shop working on the furniture for Spencer while teaching Mason new techniques. After we finish working, I take him home and then spend time with Addison before driving back home. Crawling into my cold bed alone each night is becoming a habit I’m ready to break. It’s part of the reason I’m meeting the guys at Country Road tonight. Not only have we not had a guy’s night out in months, I need to talk to Taylor. I haven’t seen him since Addison and I started dating, which surprises me.

  Taylor is intense on a good day, but knowing I’m dating his sister without threatening to break my legs or kick my ass if I hurt her, surprises me. It’s not like we’re kids or I feel like I need permission to date her. Taylor and I are friends, but not the kind who hang out regularly, so I don’t feel like we’re doing anything wrong. It’s more of a respect thing for me, and I want to make sure he knows I’m serious about her.

  Serious about her. I am. It probably seems fast to most people, but it feels right. I’m not ready to drop declarations or anything, hell we haven’t even slept together. But, the fact that she’s been on my mind since last fall at the wedding means something. I knew that night she was special, but I never thought I’d see her again. Then when we kissed on New Year’s Eve, my assumptions of her were on point. Anytime I’m around Addison I want to touch her. To hold her and kiss her. I want to protect her and support her. I want to be there not only for her but for Mason. I’d rather spend my free time with them in the kitchen making dinner or watching a movie than anywhere else.

  Damn, I sound like a cheesy romance movie. And I don’t care. Not one iota. I have feelings for Addison Sinclair. I’m wrapped up in her, and there’s no better place to be.

  Walking into Country Road, I realize how long it’s been since I’ve stepped through these doors. Weeks. Maybe months. There’s no real reason other than it hasn’t been my priority. But tonight, meeting the guys for wings and beer, I’m happy to be here. Well, truthfully, happy to be anywhere that isn’t dealing with payroll. That shit is for the birds.

  “There he is.” Owen grabs the pitcher of beer and begins pouring me a pint as I take my seat at the high top.

  “Sorry I’m late. Fucking payroll. I don’t know how you do it, man,” I grumble to Jameson as I pick up my beer. I finish the pint in two drinks and push it toward Owen for a refill.

  “Minnie. You need a Minnie. I sucked at the paperwork and organization before her. Have Ash
help you with an ad and hire an office person or, at the very least, a bookkeeper.”

  “I’ll call her tomorrow. I had no idea how much damn paperwork went into this business. No wonder my dad bailed the first opportunity he had.”

  The guys laugh, and since I was late getting here, the waitress sets down our baskets of wings and another pitcher before I finish my second drink. We laugh and catch up on everything going on in our lives while annihilating the wings like it’s our job. When my phone pings a text message, I grab a napkin and wipe my hands before picking it up.

  Mason: Hey man. So, this is weird.

  Me: It’s only weird if you make it weird.

  Mason: My mom’s crying and won’t tell me what’s wrong.

  Me: On my way.

  My stomach drops, wondering what could possibly be wrong with Addison. Did one of her patients pass away? Did she get bad news about something? Has Mason gotten in trouble here like he did at his old school? A million thoughts run through my head as I take a package of the wet wipes from the table and tear it open to wipe my hands and face.

  “Where’s the fire, man?” Ben asks as he tosses a few bones in the empty basket.

  “I have to run, it’s Addison. Here’s some money. Do you know if Taylor’s here tonight?”

  “Yeah, he’s in the back. Ash had me take him some cookies when I got here. Is everything okay? Do you need anything?” Jameson asks, concern covering his face.

  “I don’t know. Mason texted me, and I need to go, but I wanted to talk to Taylor while I was here.”

  “Let us know if we can do anything.”

  I nod and head for the hallway that leads to Taylor’s office. When I see the door marked “Private” closed, I knock and wait for him to invite me in. Opening the door, I see the man sitting behind the desk. His elbows rest on the desk and he’s resting his head in his hands. When he looks up, I’m taken aback by his expression. Never one to ooze happiness, he looks devastated. Shit.