Kahleena MacCarthy ~ To Meet a Highlander

by Zarik

  “Are you saying I'm not enough family for you?” Trystan rarely showed his feelings. And they were rarely ever hurt. Today evidently was the exception to those rules.

  Tsarina felt as though she had been punched in the stomach several times for hurting her brother. It was not her intention. But there was no need to lie. Her life was right where she was. “I know it sounds bad. It wasn't meant to sound that way. I'd love to have you here with me so we can be a family again. I have a whole family. A huge family. Will you not accept us for who we are? Not only for what we do well, but also for our faults."

  “This dream, Tsarina, has always been yours. Never mine. I've been happy with my life. Of course, I miss mom and dad, but there's nothing we could have done to prevent what happened. I did what I had to do to keep you taken care of. You say there is no life in our time for you, and I know there is no life here for me."

  “It does take a bit of getting used to. It took me months. But after that, I enjoyed it for its beauty. The honesty of the people that live here that we don't see where we’re from. They really are out to help one another." Tsarina smiled at Niall as he finally came over to join them. "Niall, this is my brother, Trystan and our friend, Galen.”

  “It's great to meet the both of ye. We're happy to have ye here for the wedding. I'm even happier that traveling through time to get here didnae seem to confuse either of ye. As I was approaching, I heard Tsarina make an offer for the both of ye to stay at the keep. It would be my honor and my pleasure to grant her this wish and have ye both here as our guests and perhaps one day, even as our clansmen.”

  Odhran, who had been seen less and less with each passing day decided now, was the time to become involved. “What exactly would we do with them, father?"

  “They're both young men still. Both in great shape. Teaching them the way of a warrior wouldnae be difficult at all. Besides, Tsarina would then have more people she is comfortable around here with her. We live here; we can never ken how difficult it was for her to make the change and to try to accept us as her family.”

  Shaking his head, Odhran was clearly not thrilled.

  “It will all work out, Odhran. Don't worry yerself on it.” Tor said as he began to laugh uncontrollably. “Stop hanging in the kitchen so much. The women and their crankiness seem to be absorbing into ye. Soon ye’ll have need of a dress."

  “I understand there’s been death and many other happenings today, but we need to get back to my sister, this wedding, and where she really should be.” Trystan was getting impatient. He wanted to be back in his time and with his sister. Speaking of going back... “How, exactly, do we get back to where we’re supposed to be?”

  “It's no an easy thing. The both of ye are likely stuck here. Even if it's no what ye want.” No one had noticed Argus approached them until he spoke.

  “Wonderful.” Trystan seethed, clearly not getting the answer he wanted. “Shouldn't getting back be as simple as getting here?"

  “I'm okay with being here.” Galen smirked.

  Rolling his eyes, Trystan continued, “Let's get back to my sister."

  “I'm not leaving. That's the end of that. So that's one matter of your concern that has been handled. I know it's not the answer you want, but it's the answer I'm giving you. And it’s final.”

  “I can make you come home with me, Tsarina.” As Trystan made his statement, he counted at least 25 hands that landed on sword hilts.

  “Ye can try if ye like.” Drostan’s voice was filled with ice. She was sent here for a reason, and here she would say.

  “You would fight for her?” Trystan asked in disbelief. Times were so different here, to shed blood over something so simple.

  “Aye. I would. And ye can bet all of the MacKinnon warriors would as well. Each of us would gladly give our life for her.” Drostan's voice did not waver with his statement. He was ready to fight.

  “No, there'll be no fighting over me. I do not like to see blood. And I’ll surely not be the one that causes it. My brother will learn to understand. He won’t force me.”

  “So it's settled. She stays here with us. The both of ye,” Tor spoke as he glanced between Galen and Trystan. “will likely remain with us as well."

  “There will be no wedding today.” Trystan's voice was firm.

  “Aye, there will be a wedding today.” Grabbing the arm of the serving girl who came down to help clean up, Tor gave instructions. “See everyone begins cleaning up. The wedding will begin again in four hours’ time.”

  “Nay!” Zarik spoke at the same time as Trystan.

  “No!” Trystan was furious. “It is clear my sister does not wish to be married to this man. She’s simply going through the motions. Does she seem happy? Does she seem excited? Do you see tears of joy streaming down her face?” Trystan paused for a moment and looked around at those still surrounding him. “Those are the signs of a woman happy on her wedding day. I see none of the signs here today. If you can't see that, see that no bride wishes to have so much blood shed on the day that is also her wedding.”

  “Maybe with the recent happenings, postponing the wedding for several days wouldn’t be a bad idea?” Galen was trying to keep the peace; he was definitely confused as to what the proper solution was. Maybe if they had several days to think on it, they would come up with something that worked for everyone. He had to admit he wasn't all that upset about the possibility of staying in this time. It could be worse.

  “The decision is not yers. I say the wedding continues.” Tor glared at everyone, daring them to challenge his statement. He wanted this day to end on a good note and nothing could be better than marrying Tsarina.

  “Still not marrying my bride, brother.” Now Zarik's hand had been placed on the hilt of one of his swords. “I believe I can convince ye that I have say in the matter. Even if it needs be proven with my sword.”

  “What will ye do? Tell me? Ye would kill yer own brother? Over a woman?” Tor placed his hand on his hilt as well.

  “Aye, I would and ye ken it well. Ye’ve always said I dinnae value life. That I've no conscience. I'm no happy without blood on me sword and under me feet. Ye ken?”

  “That is enough of this. We will go to my private room and discuss this matter. The decision made there will be final.” As Niall spoke, all knew his response was final. It was clearly stated by the look he shot toward Galen and Trystan. “I ken the two of ye are not from here, but it is best to learn the rules right from the start. Tor, Zarik, come with me.”

  “Should my sister not be included in this discussion as well? Does she have no say?” Trystan once again voiced his displeasure.

  “It is not her choice to make. She was to be my wife and my wife she will be.” Zarik chose to answer before Niall or Tor could.

  “Did she refuse you? Is she not happy with the arrangement to marry your brother? I say she should marry neither one of you. Her happiness is most important to me, no matter what century we are in.” Trystan held his ground.

  “What is it that ye desire, Tsarina?” Niall looked over and saw the confusion on the poor girl's face. “Perhaps, the choice is yers after all.”

  “I... Well, I... I guess I want... Or I mean... I don't know. I was told that I was sent here to marry Zarik and that if I did not go I could seriously alter history. If I marry Tor, do I mess with the fates of the MacKinnon clan? I just don't know what the right answer is.”

  “None of us do. So do what ye wish.” Galen simply wanted to see his friend happy. While he wasn’t as emotionally involved as some of the others in this debate, he still felt the choice should be up to her. Fate or no fate. She needed to do what she wanted to do. She needed her happily ever after.

  “It has been seen that ye should be with Zarik. We really need not accept any other outcome. Tor was simply trying to do the right thing once his brother left. He knew, as a woman, Tsarina would need protection. She would need someone to provide for her. And as all women of this time, she would need children. He was stepping up whe
re his brother had failed.” Argus shook his head while glaring at both brothers.

  “Do you love either one of them?” Trystan asked.

  “I don't know. I spent some time with Tor and I found that he really is a great guy. He's honest and patient. Zarik is more of a loose cannon. But, in fairness, we haven't spent a whole lot of time getting to know one another. It's been more of him brushing me off and refusing me. The turning around and demanding that I marry him under his terms. Of course I would refuse him.”

  “Loose cannon? Ye wanted me to get on my knees and beg to marry ye. Ye are being unreasonable. I promise ye everything ye could ever want or need. Do ye wish a man to marry or a bairn with no backbone? No honor?” Zarik tossed his hands up in the air in frustration.

  “Yes. Yes you did. Everything but you. Everything but your love. Everything but your promise to be committed only to me. Will you give up the other women?”

  Odhran found his opportunity to speak up again. “Come on. All lairds have a leman. Ye ken it well.”

  “I'll not share. I understand that in this time there are things as a woman I must do and I accept that. But sharing my husband is one where I refuse. Tor had promised to take no other woman. Though we have differences, over the last week we've learned to compromise. I don't see that happening with us, Zarik.”

  “First, ye want me on my knees, begging for yer hand in marriage. Now ye want me to swear to look and touch no other. Are ye addled?” Zarik felt his temper rising. He wasn't certain if it was at his brother, at Tsarina, or at her brother.

  “There are simply too many people in this discussion. My suggestion for a solution is simply this; Tor takes thirty minutes with Tsarina. Discuss yer options and see where ye both stand with one another. Then let's give Tsarina a slight break. After that she will then take thirty minutes with Zarik. At that point they can discuss their options. At the conclusion of that, I say we allow her to sleep on it and give us her decision in the morning. Yes this does put the wedding on hold, but it will be entered into by both parties with a clear head and a firm understanding of what is expected. After her announcement tomorrow morning, the wedding will be held in three days. ” Argus made his suggestion clear.

  “Are there any objections?” Niall waited a moment as he looked around to those still gathered around. He waited several moments, and then nodded his head. “Fine. It is done. The decision will be announced tomorrow with the wedding in three days. Tor, speak now with Tsarina and let's get this handled. I'm tired of the bickering between my sons. I want this matter settled.” With that, Niall walked back up the stairs of the keep it to his chamber.

  Chapter 11

  As Tor and Tsarina stood in his father's study, for the first several minutes they did nothing but look at one another. Then for another few minutes they simply paced back and forth.

  “I don't have any answers. It was kind of you to offer for my hand. I knew I could not remain a single woman here for much longer. And I do appreciate, more than you'll ever know, you're stepping up to take the place of your brother, even at the risk of his temper.” Tsarina twisted her skirts in her hands.

  “Just say what it is ye wish to say and be done with it. I'm a man, I can handle it. Ye do not wish to marry me? Willing to give my brother another chance now that he’s swooped in and saved the day?” Tor could feel his heart sinking. Though they were not in love, he knew that with time it would come to them. Tsarina was exactly what he had always wanted in a wife. “Perhaps if I were the warrior my brother is, ye'd see me differently.”

  “I... I guess... Yes, that is what I'm saying. Not that you're not a good warrior, but now that Zarik has returned, I cannot marry you. I cannot risk having the fate of your clan messed up because of something I did. I was sent here to marry him, and so I must. Perhaps over time he will become a good husband to me. And perhaps in that time, I can also become the wife he wishes I could be. My mom always said that to have a good marriage, you will fight. And the connection grows stronger every time you make up after every fight.”

  Tor chuckled. “Well, if ye marry my brother, I do see a lot of arguing in yer future. So the two of ye should have the strongest marriage in history. I wish ye luck and lots of happiness. Remember, I'm always here if ye need someone to talk to. I know my brother can be difficult. I will always be here for ye, to clean up the messes he makes. It seems to be the place I've taken in life.”

  Tsarina stepped forward and into Tor's arms. After the past months it felt so natural to be there. She’d grown used to the comfort of his arms around her. “Thank you. Although I hope there will be no messes to clean up once we have our discussion later.”

  Knowing that it was well under their thirty minutes, Tor and Tsarina made their way out, holding hands, to face those still sitting in the great Hall. Heads turned, but all were silent and said nothing. “Will you escort me to my room?” She asked Tor as they came to the stairs. “I have a few minutes to clear my head before meeting with your brother.”

  With a nod, hand in hand, he escorted her upstairs into her room.

  Tsarina spent what felt like forever in her room. She paced back and forth, forth and back, around and around. She sat on her bed and stood back up. She shuffled around her clothing, and that's the way it was. She hated that she hurt Tor, but there was no other solution. She would not have blood on her hands because she made a mistake. She could not be too afraid to do what she was meant to do. Zarik would come around. They would learn to love one another.

  When she walked into the study, Zarik was already there waiting for her. It seemed he had taken up the habit of pacing as well. Tsarina took a deep breath and released it as she closed the door behind her. She silently gave herself a pep talk. She would have the courage to do the right thing.

  “Did ye and my brother enjoy yer time earlier?”

  “We aren’t here to discuss your brother. We're here to discuss us. What is it that you want?” Tsarina could feel her frustration rising. Why was it he always brought up these feelings in her? She usually wasn't so angry. For some reason it took only several seconds in his presence to make her feel like punching someone in the face. This really couldn’t be a good way to start a marriage.

  “Well, ye'll marry me of course.” Zarik put on his best smile.

  “Oh, I get a smile? After you tell me what I'm going to do. What if I told your brother I would marry him?” Tsarina saw the anger rise in Zarik's face. It caused her own smile to form on her lips. “That thought never even occurred to you. Did it?”

  “Did ye?” As he asked, Zarik's fist came down hard on the desk he was standing next to. “No one saw ye leave red faced, as I'm certain a kiss would make ye be. And had ye said ye'd marry him, he'd be a fool to not steal a kiss.”

  “No, I did not. I told him that I was sent here to marry you and marry you I must. No matter how bleak my future may seem this way. I cannot have the blood of your people, who I've grown to love, on my hands. I fear that if I marry anyone other than you it would mess with history and it's not something I can risk. So you win. I told Tor that I could not marry him. I will marry you and your stubbornness. I will not, however, compromise on one thing. You will not have other women. I refuse to listen to people talk behind my back as they have since I got here. I will not have it when we are married.”

  “Fine. No other women.” Zarik couldn't believe the words had slipped from his lips. Had he just given up other women so easily? “Ye will do as I say? Giving me the many children I am obligated to have as clan chief? Be the loyal wife that I need as laird of clan MacKinnon? Ye will be the woman of my people, the woman of the keep?”

  “Yes, Zarik. Whatever trouble we have remains private. None of your clan will ever see it. I will be the perfect wife in public. You'll have the children you need and the wife you so desire.”

  “Nay, lass, ye ken I dinnae wish to have a wife. The arrangement is no more pleasant for ye than it is for me.”

  “Perhaps we’ll manage a common ground.
I can't imagine being married to someone that doesn't want me.”

  “It's not that I dinnae want ye. Ye're beautiful. I just thought I'd not be married for at least another twenty years. I wanted to do nothing but fight and lead the MacKinnon Warriors. When that was done, I wanted a wife, children, and to be laird of the clan. I just thought I had more time.”

  “You desire to bed me. Nothing more. It is a sad thing for me; I thought I would marry for love. Perhaps Argus is right that love will grow. But if you fight me with every turn, we'll never make it.”

  “Divorces do not happen here.”

  “That's not what I mean. I would never disgrace anyone in that manner. I just mean if we can’t find common ground, we will never find the love our marriage will need, especially for our children.”

  Zarik gave a slight nod. “Let's go out there. Do ye wish to announce today or wait until tomorrow?”

  “I'll wait until tomorrow as planned.”

  “I'll escort ye to yer room.” As Zarik went to slip her arm in his, she pulled away.

  “No, that won’t be necessary. I'm sure you have better things to do.” As they walked out the study door Tsarina saw Drostan standing nearby. “Drostan, will you please escort me to my room?” She saw him give a slight glance to Zarik and it was with a quick nod he was by her side escorting her up the stairs of the keep.

  Once in her room, Tsarina planned on hiding out in there as long as she could possibly manage to. Tomorrow her public announcement would come way sooner than she was ready for. She hoped she'd made the right choice, not only for clan MacKinnon but also for herself. Would she ever learn to love Zarik? More importantly, would he ever learn to love her?

  Before she finally drifted off to sleep, still with thoughts of Zarik, she realized it at least had to be better than Kaedan.

  **

  When she awoke the next morning, she didn't even remember crawling into her bed or thinking of falling asleep. This mess had her on edge. If she did the wrong thing, there were simply too many lives at stake. The cost to her, marrying for duty rather than love, seemed a small price to pay for the well-being of hundreds, maybe thousands or more, of others.