Bad Rep

by A. Meredith Walters

  Jordan shook his head. “I don't know how I feel about Olivia anymore. But, Maysie. I do know that what I feel for you is real. And it's not something I can ignore,” he implored, his eyes desperate. I felt myself weaken but then I stiffened my spine and went in for the kill.

  “It'll pass. Now, I've got to get back to Eli. He's probably wondering where I am.” Jordan's eyes went hard as he let me edge around passed him.

  My lips were tender and swollen from kissing him and I hoped Eli wouldn't notice. I wanted Jordan to try and stop me from walking away, and I hated to admit that I was extremely disappointed when he didn't. So that just proved I had done the right thing even as I felt my heart breaking into tiny little pieces.

  Chapter Seven

  I called in sick to Barton's the next afternoon. I knew I was avoiding Jordan. I just couldn't stomach seeing him after the turmoil he unleashed inside of me the night before. I also couldn't stop thinking about the way his lips felt on mine. It had been perfect for all of thirty seconds before reality had kicked in and had stomped on any chance there had been that something might have happened between us.

  After my epic make out session outside the bathroom (how romantic), I had returned to the bar, feigning sickness. Eli, who was still unfairly miffed with me, said he wanted to stay. Asshole. So Riley drove me back to the apartment and, for once, didn't grill me about what had gone down between Jordan and me. I couldn't tell her. I wasn't ready to talk about it. I felt too emotionally raw.

  So instead of going to work, I laid in my bed, watching re-runs of Beverly Hills 90210 and ate a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I went into Bibi's the following day, which was a welcome distraction. Layne had known something was off with me, though she didn't question too closely. I gave the excuse that I was just tired from working so much. She urged me to take it easy and ended up letting me go home early.

  So what did I do? I crawled back into my bed and ate another gallon of ice creamy goodness and tried to forget the tattooed bartender who had bulldozed his way into my life. Stupid dick wad.

  I hadn't heard from Eli, so I finally texted him saying I thought we needed to take a break. Yep, I broke up with him over a text. I was a serious jerk. But I stopped feeling bad when all I got in reply was a short message with whatever, fifteen minutes later. I may be a coward for ending things via text but Eli was a jackass so I was glad to be done with him. Sure, he had had moments where I thought there was more to him than the slacker stoner. That maybe he cared about me. But after his fantastic showing at Barton's last night, I forgot about that other stuff and I was pretty sure that I didn't want to see him for a good long time.

  I had finally returned to Barton's a few nights later. I was both glad and disappointed that Jordan wasn't scheduled to work. At least I was off the hook with trying to act normal around him. I'd like to shelf that awkwardness for another time, thank you. To the rest of the world, I was Maysie happy-go-lucky, sweet-as-pie, Ardin. No sense in anyone getting wind of how close I had been to becoming Jordan's road kill.

  Though, for all my bravado, I couldn't get the image of him out of my head. The way he had looked at me as he told me I was all he could think about. I couldn't stop the yearning to give into him and everything his eyes had promised.

  But as the days passed and Olivia's arrival loomed large, I tried to put my desires out of my mind. Because when it came down to it, it didn't matter what I wanted in all of this. Jordan was with Olivia. Case closed.

  It was a Thursday evening, almost a week since my kiss with Jordan and I was clocking in at Barton's. I hadn't realized I was just standing there, staring at the clock until I heard him come up behind me. “You alright there, Mays?” Jordan asked. I peered at him over my shoulder and wanted to puke on his Adidas sneakers. He smiled at me and I couldn't summon the strength to smile back.

  “I'm fine,” I mumbled and made room for him to clock into the computer. He looked at me with an unreadable expression but didn't say anything else. It was obvious we were all done with talking.

  I stood there another moment, waiting to see if he would say anything more. When he didn't, I suppressed a sigh and went into the dining area.

  My shift passed quickly enough. Before I knew it, the clock read 6:30 and I already had $70 in my pocket. Cold, hard cash was a great way of forgetting about an aching heart.

  I was hanging out at the hostess station during a lull in my tables. Normally I would have been by the bar with Jaz, who was continuing her endless flirtation with Jordan. But I couldn't face all of that. So instead I hid out with Laura, the sixteen year old hostess, as she folded up kids' menus.

  “Maysie Ardin! I didn't know you worked here now!” I looked toward the door that had just opened and my stomach dropped to my feet. Olivia Peer walked in with Milla and Tabby, another sorority sister. Olivia gave me a quick hug and I felt worse than something you scrape off the bottom of your shoe. Well, hello guilt. I had missed you.

  “Yep, just started this summer,” I told her. Olivia gave me a big smile and I hated myself even more for lusting after her boyfriend. Olivia glowed with a golden tan. Her long legs accentuated by her minuscule jean skirt. She was one of those girls blessed with a tiny waist and huge boobs, which were currently on display in a low cut tank top. Her long black hair hung perfectly brushed to the middle of her back and her big blue eyes sparkled as she scanned the restaurant until she found what she was looking for.

  Or more specifically, who she was looking for. And the way her entire face lit up as she saw Jordan made me want to crawl into a hole and die. Olivia looked at me again, the happiness emanating from her made me want to gag.

  “It was good to see you, Mays. Don't forget about the rush meeting tomorrow. Our first event is in three weeks so we need to start planning.” She gave me another hug and then hurried to the bar. I watched, like the masochist that I am, as she squealed Jordan's name. I tried not to stare as he smiled at her, a little stiffly I thought (though that was probably wishful thinking) and came around the bar to see her.

  I finally had to look away as Olivia leaned up on her tip toes to kiss him. Ugh, I did not need to see that. I turned to give my other sisters a hug. Milla seemed to be looking at me a little oddly but I ignored it. Milla looked at everyone oddly.

  “When did Olivia get back?” I asked in what I hoped was a light tone. Tabby flicked her hair off of her shoulder and shrugged.

  “Only like an hour ago. But she had to get down here to see Jordan. They're so cute it's disgusting.” Even I could hear the jealousy in Tabby's voice and I followed her eyes back to the reunited couple.

  God I hated how great they looked together. Olivia was the perfect height for him. The top of her head fitting perfectly underneath his chin. You'd have to be an idiot to not see how much she loved him. I couldn't look at Jordan's face. Scared to see the same expression mirrored in his eyes as he looked at his girlfriend.

  I hated her. In that moment I wished the worst possible plagues on her. I wanted her to wake up in the morning covered in zits. And for all of her perfect hair to have fallen out. And for her to have gained thirty pounds. I hated that I hated her. Because she was seriously one of the nicest girls I had ever met (though it was a fake sort of niceness, if you ask me). But right then, I didn't care if she was Mother fucking Teresa, I just wanted her hands off of him!

  “Mays! Are you listening?” Milla's voice cut through my Olivia induced misery. I tore my eyes from the happy couple to look at my sorority sister.

  “Sorry, what?” I asked. Milla narrowed her eyes at me.

  “I asked when you got off of work and whether you wanted to have a few drinks with us,” she spoke slowly as though I were low functioning.

  I wanted to smack her face but instead I put on my best saccharine sweet smile. “I'm done in an hour. If you guys are still here, I'll come over for a round.” I said, hoping the urge to bitch slap her wasn't evident as I answered.

  Tabby looked back over at Jordan and Olivia. �
�Oh we'll be here. I don't think we'll be able to tear her away. He's all she talked about the entire summer. It was ridiculous,” Tabby remarked, rolling her eyes. Olivia had her arms wrapped around Jordan's waist and was resting her cheek against his chest. Jordan held her back lightly and said something that made her laugh.

  Gah! Enough! “Alright ladies, I'll see you in a few.” I marched back to my tables, which were thankfully empty and started straightening the salt and pepper shakers.

  By the time I was done, my five tables looked as if they had been laid out by someone with OCD. Jaz came up as I was wiping down their surfaces again, and sat down in a chair. “I really want to dislike that girl,” she sighed, looking over her shoulder at Olivia. She, Tabby and Milla sat talking at the bar while Jordan tended to other customers. It was crazy the way everyone around her seemed to dim in comparison. Olivia was way too pretty for comfort. And seeing her again reinforced why I never had a chance with Jordan to begin with. There was no way someone like me could hold his attention for long. Not when he had a girl like Olivia in his life.

  I wasn't used to this level of negative self-talk. I had never felt so down on myself. And it disgusted me that it was all tied to a guy. Even if said guy had the face of a god and the lips made for sin. Shit! I was making myself nauseous. I mentally smacked myself in the face.

  “Yeah, Olivia is really nice,” I said to Jaz, noticing how even without trying, I sounded completely sarcastic. Jaz looked at me a little funny.

  “Yeah. I mean, you want to hate any girl that is able to snag a guy like Jordan. But she's so sweet. Never has a hateful thing to say about anyone. Makes me feel like a conniving slut for wanting to get down on all fours in front of her boyfriend,” Jaz giggled.

  “Wow, I had no idea you were such a perv,” I joked, tossing a sugar packet at my friend. Jaz caught it and opened it up, pouring the contents into her mouth.

  “Yuck! You are disgusting!” I screeched, blanching.

  Jaz laughed and got to her feet. “Yeah, well let's go talk to Moore. The place has really died down and I just saw Dina and Leo come in for their shift. No sense in us staying on the clock.” I followed her into the back, where we found Moore on the phone.

  “Moore. Our tables are empty and we haven't had any new customers in ten minutes. Can we leave?” Jaz whispered loudly. Moore barely looked up, waving us on. Normally I would have been stoked to cut out early but today I'd actually rather be working. Because now I had to go out to the bar and have a drink with Olivia. I'd rather slide down on my back over razorblades into a giant vat of rubbing alcohol. Okay, I was a little morbid in my metaphors, but whatever.

  After saying goodbye to Jaz I headed back to the bar, and almost turned around and headed back the way that I had come. Olivia was leaning over the bar, her hand fisted in the front of Jordan's t-shirt, kissing him passionately while Milla and Tabby hooted at them.

  Jordan broke away with a chuckle and Olivia sat back down, clearly a little breathless. She looked up and saw me. “Maysie! Come on chica! I've got a beer with your name on it.” Olivia waved me over. Jordan looked up as I came over. Our eyes met and he looked a little sheepish. Embarrassed even. Which was stupid. I mean he was just kissing his girlfriend. Nothing wrong with that, right? Only it didn't feel alright. It felt horrible.

  “Hey,” I said quietly as I hopped up on the stool beside Olivia. Jordan looked as sick as I felt. His eyes darted between Olivia and me. I picked up my beer and held it up in a mocking salute. “Cheers,” I said coldly as I downed it in one go, never breaking eye contact with him.

  He frowned but didn't say anything. “Hell yeah!” Olivia shouted, draping her arm around my shoulders in a show of affection. Olivia and I had never been close but she had always gone out of her way to be nice to the new pledges. She was a senior, as was Jordan, so we ran in different social circles. But we still got along. Which is what made this whole situation completely messed up.

  “So, how's it working with our girl, Maysie?” Olivia asked Jordan. She was obviously a little buzzed. I saw Jordan swallow. His Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

  “Uh, it's fine,” he answered noncommittally. I wanted to smirk at him, treat him with a cold indifference. But I didn't think I could pull it off. So instead I simply looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

  Olivia had already turned to say something to Tabby and Milla, leaving me all but forgotten. Jordan had picked up my empty glass and put it in the sink behind the bar. He met my eyes again and I saw it. The simmering heat that left me panting for more. It hadn't dimmed in the slightest. Not even with his girlfriend sitting two feet away.

  I broke the eye contact and joined in the conversation between my sisters, making a point to ignore the bartender who, unbeknownst to him, had stolen my heart. “I think we need to have a final party before school starts back up. I mean we only have a week and a half before classes start. Let's plan something,” Milla suggested. I nodded in agreement, not into the discussion at all but not wanting to be rude. Olivia squealed and clapped her hands.

  “That's a wonderful idea! Jordan!” she called out.

  Jordan looked up at her. “Yeah?” he asked from across the bar.

  She crooked her finger at him. “Get your fine ass over here, baby. I want to ask you something.” She waggled her eyebrows seductively, laughing huskily. And I wanted to crawl under my stool and lay there in a fetal position.

  I didn't miss the exasperated sigh Jordan let out before making his way over. “What is it Olivia? Some of us have to work, you know,” he stated a little shortly. I was surprised by his terseness but Olivia seemed oblivious to it.

  “I want to have a party. So we're having it at your place. Tomorrow night. K?” She didn't ask, she told him. Was this how their relationship worked? She said it was so and he just agreed?

  Jordan's mouth tightened and was clearly not pleased with her suggestion. “I have to work tomorrow night, Liv,” he said, his words clipped. Olivia waved away his objection.

  “So? I can take care of it. I know Fred and Gio would help me,” she said, mentioning the Pi Sig brothers who shared the house with Jordan.

  Jordan's shoulders stiffened. Olivia batted her eyelashes at him. “Please, Jordie. I promise to show my gratitude,” she teased, running her finger up his arm. Oh yuck. And what was up with calling him 'Jordie?' It made him sound like he belonged on the Jersey Shore or something. I saw Jordan glance at me quickly. He needed to stop doing that. He was being way too obvious.

  “Who would you invite?” he asked, looking back at Olivia.

  She squealed again (how much could she do that in one night?). “Just my girls and the Pi Sigs of course. Only the best. Come on, it'll be fun.” Tabby and Milla had started pleading with him as well and he finally gave in. Holding his hands up to stop them, he nodded.

  “Fine, whatever. I don't get off until midnight. Just keep it cool, Liv. Nothing like last time, alright,” he said, shooting her a pointed look.

  She dismissed his words, focusing on his acquittance. “Oh, thank you, baby. You're the best.” She turned to Tabby and Milla, immediately starting to make plans. Jordan leaned on the bar and looked at me again.

  “So, Mays. Are you gonna come to my raging party?” he asked sarcastically.

  I shrugged. “Don't know. It all depends on what I have going on.” Jordan tipped his head toward me and dropped his voice.

  “Oh, come on. Don't leave me to deal with a house full of sloppy drunks by myself,” he pleaded teasingly.

  I couldn't help but laugh. “Please. You deal with sloppy drunks almost every day. By now you have to be a pro.”

  “That's why I shouldn't have to suffer it alone on my off time. Please come,” he said softly. I looked over at Olivia and the girls but they were too wrapped up in their party planning to pay us any mind.

  This felt sneaky and underhanded but I couldn't help myself. When Jordan looked at me like that, it was frighteningly easy to throw my morals and resolve straight out th
e window. I sighed heavily. “Fine. I'll come. But only for a little while,” I conceded. Jordan's mouth stretched into a dazzling grin.

  “Excellent. See, I knew you'd never let me down,” he said, tapping the back of my hand with his finger and I tried not to shiver at his touch.

  “We'll see,” I muttered, trying not to look as pleased as I felt by his words. Jordan smiled again and then had the audacity to wink at me. His flirting knew no bounds. But before I could say anything else, he moved away and went about his job.

  I was only able to stomach another thirty minutes of watching Olivia and Jordan as they bantered back and forth. I couldn't deny the connection they shared. One that obviously came from a shared history. Sure, there were times Jordan seemed annoyed by his girlfriend but she also made him laugh and he interacted with her on a level that was impossible to ignore.

  It sucked. I slammed back my beer and got to my feet. Olivia looked up in surprise. “You leaving, Mays?” she asked, giving me a smile that was so sweet it made my teeth ache. Jordan's eyes flicked over to me and I immediately looked away. Something stirred in my gut as I realized Milla was watching me.