Bad Rep

by A. Meredith Walters

  “My god, Maysie. You're killing me,” he rasped as he pushed his hands through my hair, pulling my head back so he could attack my neck. His tongue ran along my collar bone as he suckled and nibbled his way back up to my mouth. He held me tightly in his grasp, his fingers gripping my hair so that I couldn't move my head. I was at his mercy. He slanted his mouth over mine again and I moved my hands up to the buttons of his shirt.

  Slowly and deliberately I unbuttoned the first one. Jordan pulled my mouth away from his and his eyes smoldered. He watched me in the mirror behind my back as I opened up his shirt, one button at a time. Finally, I discarded the piece of clothing and let it fall to the floor. Then I slowly lowered my mouth to his chest. Kissing softly and carefully until I touched his nipple. I was being swept away in a tidal wave of lust. Rational thought and good decision making had gone right out the window.

  “Fuck,” he groaned as my tongue swirled around the tight bead.

  Jordan gripped the back of my head again and roughly pulled me back. Jordan's hand shook as though his control was quickly slipping away. The affect I had on him was a serious turn on. He pushed my shoulders so that I rested my back against the mirror. My ass was precariously propped on the edge of the sink but at that moment I didn't care. Jordan spread my legs apart, his rough hands moving up my inner thighs.

  Jordan kept his eyes on mine as he flicked up the skirt of my dress and ran a finger along the length of my very wet panties. “You're soaked, baby,” he whispered, rubbing me more forcefully. My head fell back and smacked into the mirror.

  “Touch me, Jordan. Now!” I cried out desperately. Jordan's lips quirked up in a taunting smile.

  “What, like this?” His forefinger slipped underneath the edge of my underwear and slowly rubbed my throbbing clit. “Do you like it when I touch you like this, baby?” he whispered, watching me as his finger slid into my warmth. He stared at me as I clutched his hand and guided his movements in and out of my slippery folds.

  I met his eyes and whispered, “Yes, I love it.”

  Jordan groaned and thrust another finger inside me and I arched off of the sink. Jordan's other hand roughly pulled down the neck of my dress so that my breasts were on full display. In one movement, he tore my bra from my body and I couldn't even register the fact that I would have to be braless the rest of the night.

  With my breasts heavy and aching from desire, he cupped first one, then the other as he started rubbing my nipples. His callused fingers pinched and teased as his other hand manipulated my saturated heat. He had lit a fire inside of me and I was ready to go down in the flames.

  “Oh God, Jordan!” I gasped as his fingers increased their rhythm.

  “Come for me, Maysie. Please.” His voice was a strangled plea and I was helpless to resist him. It was the most raw and intimate experience I had ever had with a guy before. Jordan watched me as I started to clench around his fingers and he continued to thrust them inside me. He licked his lips as I lifted my hips and pressed into his hand. I cried out his name, feeling myself shatter into a million tiny pieces.

  Then Jordan picked up every one of those pieces and put me back together again. He removed his fingers from my dripping center, putting my panties back in place, his hand lingering between my legs. Then he gripped my waist, pulling me toward him again. He rested his forehead against mine and looked at me with an expression that made my heart twist up.

  “I can't turn my back on us now. Don't fucking ask me to!” he demanded, looking almost angry. I closed my eyes and felt the first tears prick behind my eyelids.

  Jordan put his lips to mine again and this kiss was less hungry than before but no less intoxicating. His hands came up to cradle my face and we kept kissing. It was almost as though we couldn't bear to be separated.

  “Oops. Am I interrupting?” Four words and my life just got ripped in half.

  Chapter Twelve

  I tore my mouth from Jordan's and looked over his shoulder in horror to see Milla leaning against the door jam, her arms crossed over her chest. I shoved Jordan backwards and got down from the sink, straightening my shirt.

  “We were just...” I tried to think of something to say, but it was useless. She had seen us together, kissing. I knew my mouth was swollen and bruised. There was no way I could whitewash that. Jordan didn't seem as bothered by this latest development as I was. In fact he looked annoyingly relaxed.

  Milla clicked her tongue. “What would our lovely president say if she could see the two of you like this?” Jordan opened his mouth to respond but I cut him off.

  “It was nothing! I swear! We're both just drunk!” I cried out desperately, lying through my teeth, as Milla started back down the hallway. God, if only I could blame alcohol on my behavior. But I was stone cold sober and I knew that I had no one to blame but myself. I started to run after her but Jordan grabbed me from behind, holding me in place. I twisted in his grip, trying to get away.

  “Let me fucking go, Jordan! She can't tell Olivia!” I was panicked but Jordan continued to hold me still.

  “So what if she tells Olivia? I'll go scream from the rooftops that I want to be with you and only you! I don't care!” he said angrily.

  I pushed at him as he tried to pull me closer. Tears started running down my face. I was an emotional wreck and I had just gotten caught messing around with my sorority sister's boyfriend behind her back. I felt like such a slut.

  “You don't get it, Jordan! I do care!” I screamed at him. Jordan looked shocked by my words. He began to rub my arms slowly, as if he were trying to calm a skittish animal.

  “Why does it matter what anyone else thinks? We want to be together and that's what's important.” he said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

  I should have felt soothed by his words. Isn't this what I wanted? Right then all I could think about was how wrong this situation had become. I was freaking out. I couldn't listen to this right now. Not when I had to do damage control.

  “Who says that's what I want, Jordan?! I don't know that I'm ready to shit all over my friends for some guy! Now, just leave me the hell alone!” I yelled, wrenching myself free and stumbling down the hallway, leaving him standing alone.

  I was scared to go downstairs. No, I take that back. I was freaking terrified. I knew Milla would waste no time in telling everyone about what she saw. What was I going to do? Dear flipping God! WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO?

  I headed down the stairs, peeking into the living room. The party was still going on in full force but then I saw it. Little groups of my sisters huddled together, talking animatedly. My eyes darted around, trying to find Milla. And there she was, her arm around Olivia who had her face buried in her hands. A self-satisfied smirk danced across Milla's face. This was so much worse than I could ever have imagined.

  I gnawed at my bottom lip. They still felt tender from kissing Jordan only minutes before. Had it only been minutes? It felt like a life time ago. I hit the bottom stair and it was like one of those movies when everything goes in slow motion. I saw a few of my sisters look up at my entrance into the room and everything just stopped.

  And their faces were anything but welcoming. I had to find Gracie. I needed to explain to someone who would listen to me. Then the whispering started. The buzz of hushed voices filled my ears and it was deafening.

  I practically tip toed further into the room, feeling exposed and on display. Everyone was staring at me. Everyone knew! You didn't have to be the most observant person on the planet to see that. It was on every one of their faces. My supposed friends all looked the same. They looked disgusted. Outraged even. A few of them looked almost jealous.

  And the guys leered at me as though I had come in with my clothes off. “Having a good time tonight, Maysie?” Gio sneered as I tentatively headed to the kitchen. I didn't even bother to respond. I needed to find Gracie. I needed to talk to Olivia. I needed to pick my dignity up off the floor.

  My eyes flickered up and found Olivia watching me. Our normall
y happy, party loving president looked at me as though I had just killed her favorite pet. Anger and betrayal painted her face in an ugly mask. I couldn't deal with her right now.

  I bolted toward the kitchen, hoping to find Gracie there. Cira and Vivian were at the keg, talking with their backs to the door. I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

  “Hey girls. Have you seen Gracie?” I asked, tacking the fakest smile I could muster onto my face. The girls stopped talking, the responding silence louder than anything else. Cira looked over her shoulder at me, her eyes cold. She traded glances with Vivian who looked a little more sympathetic. But both of them ignored me, turning their backs again as they filled their Solo cups with beer.

  I grit my teeth and tried again. “Look, I'm not sure what's going on. But have you seen Gracie? I need to talk to her.” I figured feigned ignorance was the best course of action. Cira flicked her hair over her shoulder and turned to face me. Her look of disdain cut me to the quick and took the air from my lungs.

  “You don't know what's going on? Really? Are you stupid as well as a slut?” she asked hatefully. I reared back as though she had slapped me. I felt my face go pale.

  “What the hell?” I hissed, feeling my anger start to simmer. Who were they to judge me? I chanced a look at Vivian and she looked less disgusted. In fact, she seemed almost sad. Cira took a step toward me and for a moment I wondered whether my “sister” would strike me.

  “I think it's time you left,” she said in a quiet voice.

  I drew myself upright, finding it hard to say anything. I had made my bed, I supposed. It was time for me to lie in it. I had allowed things to get out of hand with Jordan and now I was paying the price. I knew I was playing with fire but for those few minutes upstairs I just hadn't cared. It had only been Jordan and me. And for a brief time, that was all that had mattered.

  But now I had woken up in the middle of a very real social nightmare. I turned on my heel and started to leave the kitchen when I heard hurried footsteps behind me and a hand grab me by the elbow. I looked up in surprise to see Vivian. Her eyes flashed in sympathy as she dropped her hand.

  “I think Gracie's out back. But you should probably get out of here. Otherwise I'm pretty sure it's going to get ugly.” I gave her a weak smile.

  “Thanks, Viv,” I told her sincerely. She smiled in return but it was full of pity.

  I had to go back out through the living room to get to the door that led to the backyard. Going through the crowd of Pi Sigs and Chi Deltas was like trying to navigate through a room full of vipers. I heard someone snickering from behind me and a coughed “skank” said a little too loudly.

  My eyes started to sting and my cheeks burned. I will not cry! I WILL NOT CRY! I screamed at myself as I walked, with my head held as high as it would go. I didn't look anyone in the eye. I moved by them all as if I were the Queen of fucking Egypt. Bunch of hypocritical bastards. Like none of them had ever made a mistake in their lives. How easy it was to judge others when really they should be examining themselves.

  I pushed through the screen door and looked around for Gracie. I found her talking to a few of our sisters at the patio table. I walked toward them. The girls looked up as I came closer and every last one got to their feet. Gracie looked startled and more than a little concerned.

  “Later Gracie,” Bella, Victoria and Taylor said as they pushed passed me. At least they refrained from calling me any derogatory names as they left.

  Gracie grabbed my arm and squeezed. I winced. “What the hell is going on, Maysie? It's not true is it?” she asked in hushed panic. I could see that she had sobered up but she looked at a complete loss. I sank into the chair beside her and put my face in my hands.

  “Did you really hook up with Jordan Levitt in the bathroom?” Gracie asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. I couldn't say anything; my throat felt like it had closed up.

  So, I simply nodded. “Well, shit,” was all she said and then she put her arm around my shoulders. Her act of compassion was all it took to unleash my tears. I started to sob. Deep, ugly crying. And Gracie let me. She didn't say anything until I had finally calmed down.

  I looked up at her, hiccuping. “What happened?” she asked me. I clutched at her kindness like a lifeline. In that moment I knew with absolute certainty that most of my so called sisters weren't my friends. I paid all of that damn money to hang out with girls who would turn their backs so much as look at me. What a depressing realization.

  “I don't know. It just sort of happened,” I said lamely. Gracie shook her head.

  “No. Jordan Levitt doesn't just sort of happen. Now spill.” I took a shaky breath and sat back in my chair.

  “I really don't know how to explain all of this. Jordan and I work together at Barton's. You know that.” My explanation wasn't explaining anything at all.

  “Yeah, well that doesn't tell me how your lips ended up on his. Not that I blame ya, girlfriend.” She gave me a small smile and I couldn't help but chuckle. Man, I loved her. Our smiles disappeared as fast as they appeared as we both grew serious again.

  “Jordan asked me out while Olivia was away this summer. I didn't know who he was when I met him. I had no idea he had a girlfriend when he asked me out. You know me, Gracie! I wouldn't do that! Especially not to one of my sisters!” I said, my voice rising in desperation.

  Gracie squeezed my shoulders. “I know that, Mays,” she said quietly. I shook my head again.

  “I found out that he was Olivia's boyfriend when you, Vivian and Milla came into the bar that first night. And I told him to back the hell off. That nothing was going to happen between us,” I said. Gracie nodded.

  “That sounds like you.” I appreciated her believing me. I had a feeling that that was going to be in short supply over the next few days.

  “I tried to keep my distance! I really did! But there's something between us. I can't explain it. It's like this crazy connection that is impossible to resist. It was harmless flirting for a while. But then tonight...” My words trailed off. No need to explain what had gone down this evening. She already knew.

  “So you like him. I get that. But, Mays. He's Olivia's boyfriend. They've been together forever. The other girls aren't going to take this well. You could get blackballed for this,” she told me matter-of-factly.

  Blackballed? Christ! I hadn't even thought about that. I could get kicked out of Chi Delta. But after seeing the way the other girls were treating me already, I wasn't sure I even wanted to be a part of the sorority anymore.

  “He said he wanted to break up with Olivia,” I whispered. Gracie gasped.

  “Are you serious?” she squeaked. I put my head in my hands.

  “Jordan told me he wants us to be together. But I can't do that. Not now.” It all seemed so hopeless. How had I made such a mess of things in such a short amount of time? Gracie tugged on a piece of my hair and I looked up at her.

  “Maysie, I think you need to get out of here. They're probably lying in wait to attack in there. You need to give everyone time to cool off. And stay the hell away from Jordan. Don't even entertain the idea. No guy is worth losing your friends over,” she said with such surety.

  But at that moment, I wasn't so sure I would be losing anything. But I agreed that I had to leave. I needed to get out of the fire. And I sure as hell needed to keep a healthy distance from Jordan fucking Levitt. He made everything way more complicated than I could handle. And I wasn't sure that was something I could deal with now, or maybe ever.

  I got to my feet and Gracie followed suit. We looked at each other for a minute before she pulled me into a hug. I tried to choke back the tears that threatened to resurface. Gracie rubbed my back comfortingly.

  “It'll be okay. It will all blow over.” She sounded as though she didn't believe her words anymore than I did.

  We pulled apart. “I can't go back in there,” I whispered, strangling on the reality of the screwed up situation. I had to hide from my friends. I had to hide from everyone. Gra
cie pushed me toward the garden gate.

  “Go through there. Do you have your cell phone? Can you call Riley to come and get you?” she asked me. I shook my head.

  “I didn't bring my purse. But I'll just walk. It's only five blocks to the apartment.” I just hoped I wouldn't get jumped on my way home.

  Gracie gave me a little shove. “Well, get out of here. I'll try and do some damage control. I'll call you tomorrow,” she assured me, though her smile was a little hollow. I reached out and squeezed her hand in silent thanks and then slunk through the gate like a goddamn criminal.

  Who gives a damn about their reputation? Oh, that would be me. Especially since mine had gone straight to hell in the span of thirty minutes. I walked toward the sidewalk, shooting a panicked look back toward the house, hoping no one could see me.