by Ava Meyers
“I—I—” She shook her head. Blinked her eyes in an effort to focus past the desire that was still dragging her down. Awkwardly, she pushed herself off him and to the side. His hands fell away as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She sat there for a minute with her head lowered, catching her breath. Finally, she stood. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
She watched him warily, obviously expecting him to freak out on her.
He shrugged with a casualness he was far from feeling. “You don’t have to be sorry. This is all for you, remember?”
Surprise washed away her uncertainty. “Who are you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you always this self-sacrificing?”
He snorted. “Not at all. Believe me, I can be damn demanding. I love pushing a woman past her inhibitions. I love making her take more than she ever thought she could because she trusts me to pleasure her. But only with a woman who can handle it. You can’t.” Not yet, he thought.
She opened her mouth, obviously wanting to argue with him, but then it snapped shut. Her expression hardened and he knew her fear had finally overshadowed everything else. “You’re right. I can’t. I think you should leave.”
With that, she turned and walked out of the room.
Noah sighed. And then he got dressed.
CHAPTER SIX
When a fully-clothed Noah stepped out of the bedroom, Jenna wanted to weep. His body was so gorgeous, she’d wanted to spend hours examining it further. Without even trying, he’d had her closer to coming than any other man before. Hell, she’d bet he could accomplish the same thing even if he only had his little finger to work with. For a second there, all she’d wanted to do was rip off her clothes and beg him to touch her, everywhere, anywhere, however he wanted. But she couldn’t have that. Not if she didn’t want to fall apart when he eventually left.
She’d completely lost sight of why this had even started.
Plus, something had changed after he’d come in her mouth and touched her. As he’d eased her closer and closer to a climax, she’d suddenly realized that if she gave it to him, she’d be giving him a whole lot more. Like the power to hurt her. Oh, not physically. She truly believed that Noah wouldn’t physically hurt her. He’d never force her to have sex against her wishes. But her intentions were getting all confused in her mind, and she knew if she let herself, she’d fall for him in a deeply emotional way.
That couldn’t happen. Not with her past. And not with her future.
She forced herself to smile. “Thank you for what you did.”
“I think I can safely say the pleasure was all mine,” he said wryly.
She laughed, marveling at his ability to keep his sense of humor given the awkwardness of the situation. “It wasn’t. It felt good. What you did to me.”
“Then I’d say we made progress, don’t you think?”
This time, her smile was completely genuine even if it was a little tremulous. “Yes, we did.”
“Good. I’m glad.” He looked at his watch, the gesture making her chest ache. “I guess if we’re done, I should probably get dinner. I meant to stop somewhere after the bar but…” He shrugged. He walked up to her, smoothed her hair back, and leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, then the lips. “Take care, Jenna.”
He walked towards the door and panic surged through her. “Do you—do you want me to fix you something?” The invitation popped out of her mouth before she even knew she’d formed the thought.
He turned and tipped his head. “You don’t mind?”
She barely disguised her sigh of relief. “No. It’s the least I can do after—well, everything you’ve done for me.”
“Great.” He shrugged off his jacket and slipped it over a chair. Hands on his hips, he looked around. He took in Kate’s miniscule kitchen, then jerked his thumb toward the living room couch. “Do you mind if I just sit down and watch some television? I promise to stay out of your way.”
“Go ahead.” It was actually a perfect idea. He’d be less distracting that way. Less tempting. If they worked together in the small kitchen, they’d inevitably brush up against each other and she’d be even more tempted to ask him to stay. This way, she’d make him some dinner. They’d eat. And maybe then she’d be ready to say goodbye. “Just don’t think those DVDs by the TV are mine,” she joked. “Kate’s cousin stayed here before me and he’s coming back for them. Only—” She shrugged, feeling like an idiot for pointing out the DVDs he probably wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.
He cocked a brow, walked to the DVD player, and picked something up. When he glanced at her again, he was grinning. “Kate’s cousin has good taste. This is a classic.”
She rolled her eyes, making him laugh, before turning to the refrigerator. When she saw him again, he was sitting on the sofa holding the remote and the television was on. All he needed was an open can of beer and his feet propped up on the coffee table and he’d look like any other man hanging out at home. Bemused, she stared at him for several seconds. He didn’t seem at all pissed that she’d been about to kick him out. Maybe he was actually glad she’d called a halt to things. He’d probably figured out she was more trouble than she was worth. Who could blame him?
Still, she was surprised by how content she felt. Making him dinner. Having him here, watching television. It was a quiet interaction, one couples engaged in all the time, and the normalcy of it made her feel even safer with him.
It had been so long since she’d just been able to simply enjoy the company of a man she liked. She was going to take advantage of every minute she had to do so now.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Noah knew he’d thrown her off. He could feel her eyes watching him as she cooked, trying to figure him out. The little darling obviously didn’t know what she was up against.
Using the remote, he activated the DVD player so it began to play the disc he’d inserted when she wasn’t looking. He kept the volume low so it wouldn’t alert her. As he pretended to watch the screen, he heard her bustling around, muttering to herself now and then, and even humming a couple times.
He almost smiled.
As far as he was concerned, they’d made a whole helluva lot of progress in the bedroom.
And they were going to make even more.
She was feeling lulled by his ability to restrain himself and he was glad she felt safe. But if she thought he was giving in and would disappear quietly into the night after dinner without even trying to change her mind, she was dead wrong.
Reaching down, he weighed the virtues of subtlety versus shock. Making up his mind, he unsnapped and unzipped his pants, and carefully released his dick. He was still hard. Hell, he’d never stopped being hard, even after she’d sucked him dry. Still listening to the sound of her moving in the kitchen, he stroked himself as he recalled the feel of her mouth on him.
Several minutes later, he saw her approach in his peripheral vision. “I just put the chicken in the oven. Dinner will be about fifteen more minutes and then we can—” She gasped.
When he looked up, she wasn’t looking at what he was doing to himself, but rather what was on the screen. Her mouth hung open and her face was flushed a gorgeous pink.
The actress on the screen had a similar expression on her face. She was on her hands and knees, her big breasts swaying while one man fucked her from behind and another lay on his back underneath her, eating her out.
He watched Jenna closely while he continued to stroke himself. “What were you saying, sweetness?” His voice sounded drowsy. Unthreatening.
Fuck subtlety. He knew his time with Jenna was limited, so subtlety wasn’t going to work. Between his masturbation and the porn, he figured she’d be too thrown off and aroused to feel any real fear. He also figured the more times she saw his cock, the more comfortable she’d get with it.
With him.
She turned to look at him, her dazed eyes going even wider. “What—what are you—?”
“You said fifteen min
utes, right?” With his free hand, he patted the cushion next to him. “Do you want to come sit next to me until then?”
Obviously disoriented, she turned back to the screen. Now the woman had a dick in her mouth as well as in her pussy. The liquid sounds of sex echoed around them, getting even louder when he pressed the volume up on the remote. The expression on the actress’s face was pure nirvana, while Jenna looked shocked to the core. It made him wonder—
“Haven’t you ever watched porn before?”
She shook her head.
“Have you ever wanted to?”
“No. I mean, well, yes but—” She glanced at his dick and automatically took a step closer. He deliberately chose to misunderstand and nodded.
“Oh sorry. Is this making you uncomfortable? Here, let me just—” Wincing, he arranged himself back into his pants and zipped up. He left the snap open, however, a fact she didn’t miss. He patted the cushion next to him again. “Come here.”
For a second, she looked like she was going to refuse. Instead, incredibly, she sat next to him, her eyes returning to the screen and the sexual gymnastics that were getting more and more ridiculous. Her actions confirmed exactly how much progress they’d made. When she unconsciously leaned back and into him, he had to turn away to hide the grin that split his face.
Five minutes later, he had his arm behind her and was toying with her hair. She’d placed one of her hands on his thigh, unconsciously squeezing when something on the screen excited her. He made damn sure he kept track each time it happened, making a mental note to himself.
And that’s how he began to suspect something about her.
At her core, she liked being sexually dominated. Whether she’d admit it or not, she got off on a man exercising his control over a woman. Her breath caught each time one of the men on the screen talked dirty and pushed the woman’s boundaries a little further. She licked her lips when they wrapped their hands in the woman’s hair, tugging her head and controlling her movements as they fed her cock. But she liked gentleness, too. Sighed when a tender word was spoken or a gentle touch administered. Given what had happened to her, he had no doubt that her dual preferences confused and scared her. They’d also make getting her to fully trust him a whole helluva lot harder.
She’d probably convinced herself that gentleness was all she ever wanted from here on out. Fine. That’s what he was going to give her. But he wasn’t going to let her get too comfortable. She needed to know she could trust him, but she also had to accept that trusting a man didn’t mean she was always going to get her way.
“He’s taking her ass now and she likes it,” he commented, making her jerk. To his surprise, she snorted. “She also liked getting spanked,” she said dryly.
“Hmm.” He imagined patting her ass, just hard enough so that her creamy skin turned pink and her pussy gushed with arousal. “You ever try that?”
“No. Never wanted to.” But she said it a little too quickly and he knew she was lying. Again, he understood why she’d shy away from anything having to do with domination or feigned punishment, so he let it go for now.
“How about anal sex? Before you were raped. Had you tried it before then?”
She stiffened, obviously not liking where he was headed, then shook her head.
“So what had you tried? You said you didn’t really enjoy sex, but what did you like the most?”
She shrugged. Kept her eyes glued to the screen, even though he sensed her focus was fully on their conversation. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Sure it does. If we talk about it, if you can verbalize what you used to like about sex, it’ll make it easier for you to like it again in the future, don’t you think? If not with me, then with someone else.”
She frowned as she contemplated what he’d said. “I like kissing, but a lot of men don’t or they only pretend to, so they can get to what they really want.”
“I loved kissing you. Could you tell?”
She glanced at him now. Hesitantly, she nodded.
“What else have you liked about sex?”
She squirmed. Looked past him and toward the kitchen, as if preparing to make an excuse about checking on dinner.
He pushed. Just a little harder. “Did you like being kissed between your legs?”
Her breath hitched but she still didn’t answer him.
“Did you?” he asked, deliberately edging his voice with masculine demand.
When she looked at him this time, it was with a bit of nervousness, but she didn’t pull away. “Yes.”
“Hmmm,” he said, then turned back to the screen.
She held herself stiffly for a while, then did the same thing. Together, they watched as the woman on the screen was treated to exactly the kind of kisses they’d just been discussing. She was shaved bare, giving them a clear and tantalizing view of a man’s tongue and teeth as he worked her.
When the man plunged his tongue into her core, Jenna squirmed even harder.
God, he ached. He wanted to release his dick from his pants again, but more than that, he wanted to get his mouth on her.
The woman screamed as her climax took her. Jenna trembled against him. “Dinner’s almost ready,” she said suddenly. “You said you were hungry.” She tried to stand, but he caught her hand and tugged gently until she sat back down.
“I am hungry. But not for food.” He nodded towards the TV. “He’s making her feel so good. I want to make you feel good, too, Jenna. I want to lick up your juices and fuck you with my tongue. If you think you can handle that, I’d love to give it to you.”
His offer was direct and genuine, intermingled with the dramatic sounds of sexual gratification still coming from the television. She swallowed so hard her throat convulsed. And then she stood, turning toward the kitchen and walking away.
He sighed. Fuck. He’d tried. But she wasn’t going to let it happen. He’d thought for a moment there that she might, but her fear really was stronger than…
He caught movement from the corner of his eye and looked up. She’d come back, chewing her lip for all she was worth. As he watched, her hands dropped to the hem of her sweater and she pulled it off, exposing her pretty breasts encased in that simple white bra, a faint darkness over one nipple where he’d sucked her through the fabric. “I turned off the oven,” she said, then quickly dropped her hands to unsnap her jeans. Before he knew it, she was naked.
Her sheer beauty was like a kick in the gut, stealing his breath. He’d seen her up close and personal many times, as many times as he’d looked at her Playboy centerfold. He’d jerked off countless times to the magazine spread, but having her naked in front of him, here and now, real and vulnerable…
Despite feeling light-headed, he stood up, took her hand, and led her back to the couch. “Sit down.”
Her gaze flickered to the TV, where the woman was going down on her partner now. “Shouldn’t we—”
He shook his head. “Let’s leave it on.”
Hesitantly, she sat down and he kneeled in front of her. Gently, he pushed her knees apart and moved between them. She was shaking, her breasts jiggling with her desperate breaths and her fingernails digging into her palms.
“Stop that,” he said. He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them, licking over the crescents that her nails had left. His tongue delved in between her fingers, and her thighs tightened against his hips in response. “It’s going to be okay,” he said.
He leaned in and kissed her mouth softly. Hesitantly, she kissed him back. He palmed her breasts for a long time before he lowered his hands, his mouth following. He was no longer waiting for permission to touch her, but she didn’t seem to mind. Instead, her gaze bounced between the TV screen and what he was doing to her. He kissed her breasts and licked her nipples, but didn’t linger. He kept going, sprinkling kisses on her tummy until his lips hovered above her neatly trimmed pubic hair.
He ruffled the patch with his knuckles and inhaled, savoring her wonderful scent, enjoying the sight
of her little pink bits peeking out at him. “You’re going to taste so good, sweetness. On my tongue. Down my throat. You getting wet for me?”
She shuddered and he tucked a hand gently between her thighs. She jerked but she didn’t pull away and neither did he. “Ah. There we go. So sweet and warm.” He pushed a finger into her, taking his time, being as gentle as he could be. She made a sound of excitement, one she muffled with her hand. He wanted to call her on it, but didn’t want to push her too far. Instead, he withdrew his finger and painted her clit with her own juices, causing her to cry out again. “You’re wet, but I want you to be even wetter. So I’m going to use my mouth now, okay?”
No longer even trying to muffle the sounds she made, she whimpered as he lowered his head and blew on her. Slowly, he extended and stiffened his tongue, licking her clit. She bucked and he held her down, watching her carefully for any hint of fear. When none came, he swiped his tongue through her folds, moving slow, making sure she felt every second of it.
Then he opened his mouth and really got to work.
Noah knew he was an accomplished lover. He did whatever it took to please his partner and he did it for however long it took to get the job done. One thing he did exceptionally well, however, was eat pussy. He loved everything about it. The feel, the smell, the taste of being between a woman’s legs. To him, it was a precious delicacy to be savored.
He groaned when Jenna’s fingers tangled in his hair, pulling and pushing him as her pleasure spiked. He let himself go a little more, getting a touch more aggressive, using his teeth to add an edge of pain to her pleasure. Satisfaction glowed through him when she released a lusty moan and pulled him even closer.
She was amazing. Sensual and sexual. She should have been spending her life savoring her body and its responses rather than worrying that she was frigid or thinking of ways to get over her trauma. He’d bet that some of her deepest fantasies involved force and that her being raped had made her terribly ashamed of that. Now wasn’t the time, but he hoped he could help her realize that no matter what she wanted, she had nothing to be ashamed of and she hadn’t deserved what had happened to her.