by Ava Meyers
For now, however, he was going to make her come, and this time he wasn’t going to let her back away out of fear or shame.
He flattened his tongue and rubbed her clitoris over and over again. And then he sucked the little kernel into his mouth at the same time he penetrated her with his finger.
“Ah Noah. Oh God.”
“You remembering why you liked this, sweetness?”
“Yes, but it—it never felt this good before. No one’s ever made me feel this good.”
“I’m glad,” he said, then got back to sucking. He added another finger, stretching her, making her feel another bite of pain so it cranked up her pleasure even higher.
Her body was shaking hard now. She stiffened and pressed her hands to his shoulders. “Noah?”
“You’re going to come now, Jenna,” he said.
“No, no no—” she breathed. “I can’t.”
“Like hell you can’t. You’re going to do it. Right now. I want it. Give it to me, Jenna. Come.”
She tried to shift away from him and, praying he was doing the right thing, he clamped his hands on her thighs, holding her where she was. She stared down at him, her eyes wide with realization.
“I’m not going to hurt you, but you want this, Jenna. You know you do. Give it to me. Please.”
She stared at him, her mouth trembling, her expression clearly that of desire warring with fear. His rubbed the pads of his fingers against her soft skin and all of a sudden she leaned her head back, closed her eyes, and sank back into the cushions, putting herself completely in his care. Swiftly and repeatedly, he flicked her clit with his tongue while his fingers returned to their place inside her, thrusting in a strong, quickening rhythm. As he finger and tongue-fucked her, he spoke against her flesh, telling her how brave she was, how beautiful.
Her scream started out as a musical moan that wound higher and higher the tighter her muscles stiffened. He felt her pussy walls clench around his tongue and braced himself. She jerked and shuddered as she came, and her scream reached maximum volume, drowning out the television set. He kept her orgasm going and going, licking and sucking and penetrating her until he’d wrung every last bit of pleasure from her.
Finally, she collapsed back against the cushions again. He licked her a few more times and rubbed his hand in soothing circles on her stomach. When he looked up, she had her hands over her face and she was struggling not to cry. He wasn’t surprised. A lot of women cried when they came, and Lord knew, Jenna had plenty of reason to. He imagined she was feeling more than a little shell-shocked.
He moved until he sat beside her and pulled her into his arms. “It’s okay, baby. Cry all you need to. But please. Let me hold you.”
She held herself stiffly in his arms for a minute, but then she pulled him closer and sobbed.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Jenna let herself cry, not just because of the sexual relief he’d brought her but because of everything that had happened in the past year. Because of what had been taken from her. Her sense of security and safety. Her trust. Her ideas about sexuality.
She’d told Noah the truth earlier. Sex hadn’t been all that thrilling for her even before the rape. Still, she hadn’t feared it. Had dreamed of finding the man who could finally satisfy her. If nothing else, she’d enjoyed the physical contact and closeness of touching and being touched by another person. She’d missed that. Having just experienced it again made her feel as defenseless as a newborn baby.
But even as she basked in the pleasure of Noah’s touch, part of her wondered what she’d gotten herself into. He was far more dangerous than she’d ever thought. Somehow, he’d penetrated her emotional defenses as easily as his tongue and fingers had penetrated her body. And now what was she going to do?
Eventually, she calmed, her tears drying as he stroked her hair and her back. At some point, he’d turned off the television and in the quiet stillness she heard their combined breaths mingling together. He kissed her cheeks, sipping the remnants of tears that still remained. “Are you okay?”
She nodded.
He hugged her closer, and she felt her eyes tearing up again.
She laughed. Smoothed her hand over his chest. “Sorry I got you all wet.”
He tipped up her chin with his finger, making her look up at him. “Don’t be sorry. For anything. Tonight has been one of the best nights of my life, querida.”
She rested her head against his shoulder and allowed herself to savor the feel of being in his arms. Soon, she’d have to get up, feed him dinner, and let him go. Then she’d have to work with Kate on doing what she’d planned for months—getting close to Stavish. It’s all she’d thought about in the past year. Getting revenge. But somehow her desire for revenge seemed paltry compared to what had happened in the past few hours.
She didn’t want Noah to go. She wanted to talk to him. Ask him what his favorite color was. Get to know all the little things that created intimacy between two people. True intimacy that no amount of sex could manufacture.
“What are you thinking?”
She stirred briefly before settling back against him. “That I wish I knew more about you.”
He ran his fingertips lightly up and down her arm. “Yeah? And what do you wish you knew?” He jiggled her when she didn’t answer. “Come on. I’ll tell you anything you want.”
“Yeah right,” she snickered, but when she looked up at him, he wasn’t smiling.
“I’m serious, Jenna.”
Biting her lip, she considered what he was offering. Knew it was too precious to turn down. “Did you always know you wanted to be an Internal Affairs cop?”
“Yes.” His answer was swift. Proud. He obviously didn’t buy into accusations of being a turncoat or rat, two terms she’d often heard in relation to the kind of work he did. She was glad.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because no one should be above the law, especially the ones who are sworn to uphold it. Cops put themselves on the line everyday. Good cops. Good people. Merecen respeto. They deserve respect; those masquerading as cops don’t.”
His words healed something inside her, a wound she hadn’t even known was there. They reminded her that even though Stavish was powerful, perhaps true justice was even more so. Perhaps her plan to expose Stavish would really make a difference.
“So what else do you want to know?” he asked.
There were so many things she wanted to ask him and even she was surprised by her next choice. “You said sometimes you like to dominate a woman in bed. What does that mean?”
To her surprise, his eyes flickered with unease. Why?
“Do you really think we should talk about that?”
“You said anything,” she said lightly.
“Why do you want to know?”
“You’ve proven you can keep your cool with me. But I’m curious what you’re like when you’re with someone you can lose control with.”
“First off, let’s get something straight. I’ve never kept my cool with you. Ever. Just because I don’t act out of control, doesn’t mean I don’t feel out of control. You understand the difference?”
She searched his eyes for a moment before quietly saying, “Yes.” And she really did. For a while, it had gotten all mixed up in her mind, the fine line between wanting and doing, but she understood how Noah could feel out of control without acting that way. Hell, he’d proven it to her time and again.
“Second, when I dominate a woman sexually, that’s when I’m under the most control. Because I don’t want to hurt her, because I know a woman is softer, smaller, and yes, weaker than me, I have to be even more deliberate in what I do and say and use.”
She frowned. “Use?”
His mouth tipped up and he caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, much like he had at the bar. Instead of snapping at him like she’d done then, she leaned into his touch, rubbing against him like a kitten. “For a former Playboy bunny, you really are quite innocent.”
She immediately stiffened and tried to pull away. “Rape victims aren’t innocent.”
He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. “Of course they are. Or at least, they can be. Just like a Playboy bunny can be innocent, too.”
She frowned and stopped trying to get away. “Like most men, you seem a little preoccupied with that. Don’t be so impressed. It was a fluke, me being in that magazine at all. The editor was hanging around campus, looking for fresh faces, and for some reason he took an interest in me.”
He bobbed his eyebrows up and down. “I can think of several really nice reasons. If you want me to take inventory, I will.”
Despite herself, she laughed. It amazed her, this man’s ability to one minute drive her out of her mind with lust and then make her laugh in the next. “I was flattered at the time. I needed the money. Plus, I guess I had something to prove. I was so much more quiet and studious than my friends. Labeled the good girl of the group. I wanted to do something shocking for once. I knew people would make assumptions, but I couldn’t have known—” She couldn’t have known men would view those photos as a challenge, one that entitled them to rough her up in order to get her to do what they wanted.
The enjoyment she was feeling from being in Noah’s company gave way to darker thoughts, including shame. The fact was, she’d been abused by several boyfriends before one raped her. She’d been too embarrassed to tell Noah that, so she’d implied the burglary had been committed by a stranger rather than by someone she knew. Realizing what she’d been about to confess, she pressed her lips together.
“What?”
She shook her head and took a deep breath, then reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. She desperately wanted to return to that place where being in his arms took her away from her past. “Never mind. You’re supposed to be telling me about you and your women, remember?”
She tried to say the words lightly, teasingly, but she almost choked when referring to “his women.” Jealousy was a living, breathing thing inside her.
His eyes widened, then narrowed. “Is this where you trick me into talking about other women, get pissed, and throw me out?”
She flushed guiltily and lowered her arms. Looked down and twisted her hands together. “So what if it is?”
“You don’t have to play those games. If you want me to leave, then just ask me. If you want me to talk about my sex life, then don’t get pissed at me when I do. I told you, you can ask me anything, and I meant it, but I don’t want to get skewered because of it.”
She kept her gaze on her hands. “I’m not—”
“Look at me, damn it.”
Instinctively, she did what he said. He leaned close and took her hands in his, his golden eyes holding hers. “I’ve been sexually active since I was fifteen years old, querida. I’ve fucked a lot of women. I’ve made love to a few. I’ve loved even fewer. Yes, I like to dominate sometimes, and that means I’ll use my body, my brains, and whatever else I need to get the job done. I’ve used blindfolds, cuffs, ball gags, crops, dildos, ropes, and even a mask or two. I’ve had sex with two women at once, I’ve fucked a woman while she sucked off another man, just like in the movie we watched, and I’m a member of the mile-high-club. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
She tried to pull away, but he shook his head. “I’m not done yet.”
Despite the way she struggled, he lifted her so that she straddled his lap. So that the more she struggled, the more she rubbed her luscious body against his.
Breathless and afraid of the emotions swelling inside her, she stopped struggling.
“I’ve fucked women up the ass and let them use toys to do the same to me. When I was just a stupid kid, I had sex while I was high. Occasionally, I still like to have sex when I’m drunk. I like the 69 position, but my all time favorite position is the one I was in earlier, with my head buried between a woman’s thighs and my tongue shoved up her pussy.”
“Stop it—” Again, she tried to get off him and this time he wound her hair around one of his hands, effectively holding her still but not hurting her.
“But I have never hurt a woman, in bed or out. I have never cheated on a woman I’ve been dating. I have never told a woman I’d call when I wasn’t going to. And I have never, ever fucked a woman who is planning on going straight from me to another guy just because she needs sex therapy, but more importantly, because I’m so desperate to touch her, to have any smidgen of contact with her at all, that I’m willing to sacrifice everything—even my pride—to have her in my arms.”
He was breathing harshly, his nostrils flaring, his eyes lit with the truth of what he was saying. Suddenly, his lids lowered. “Shit. I’m sorry.” He released her hair and let his hands fall to his side. “Go on. I won’t stop you. In fact, thanks for cooking dinner, but I think I should go now.”
When she didn’t move, he opened his eyes.
She opened her mouth to speak. Had to clear her throat a couple of times before the words would come out. “Technically, you haven’t fucked me yet.”
***
His eyes flew open at her words. “Stop it, Jenna.”
“Stop what?”
“Whatever game you’re playing now.”
“I—I thought we were playing together, but I guess I was wrong.” She climbed off him and this time, he let her. He didn’t move as she looked down at him. She was magnificently naked and unashamed, her hands on her hips. “And talk about playing games. What was that bullshit you just pulled? You were trying to scare me so I’d push you away, right? Well, guess what, I’m not scared.”
He stood and walked toward her, but she didn’t back away. “Is that right?”
“That’s right.”
“So prove it.”
He hadn’t really expected her to call his bluff, which is why he was shocked when she dropped to her knees before him, unzipped his pants, and tugged them down, along with his boxers.
“Jenna—” he began, but lost the ability to speak when she sucked him into her mouth.
His eyeballs rolled back into his head.
Her mouth felt like heaven, but she was no angel. Not at the moment. She was the aggressor now, pumping him with her fist at the same time she sucked the head of his dick, occasionally swirling her tongue around it. This time, he let himself bury his hands in her hair and guide her, showing her what he liked, including how deep he wanted her to take him. She choked at one point, sinking her fingers into his ass when he tried to pull back, and just took more of him. “That’s it,” he heard himself say. “Take me down your throat. Take my cum, too.”
Abruptly, she pulled back, the loss of her warmth causing him to shudder. “No,” she said. “This time I want you to come inside me.”
He refrained from pointing out that he had been inside her the last time he’d come; inside her mouth. He knew what she wanted and he wanted the exact same thing. He just couldn’t believe he was going to get it.
“What about protection?”
“I’m on the pill. And I’m clean. But if you don’t want to risk it—”
“I’m clean, too.”
He reached for her but she shook her head. “Take off your shirt.”
She didn’t have to tell him twice. He practically ripped it off himself, barely noticing the buttons that popped off as she smoothed her palms over his chest and abdomen. Leaning down, she kissed and licked his nipple, making him hiss.
He turned with her, intending to lay her on the couch and move on top of her, but she slipped from his grasp and pushed. Somehow, he was the one that ended up on his back, moaning in anticipation as she climbed on top of him.
“Are you going to fuck me good and hard, Jenna?” he whispered, even as he raised a hand and caressed her cheek. Her eyes were glittering with desire and he wanted to pump his fist in triumph.
“Instead of answering that question, why don’t I just show you?” She balanced on her knees above him as her fingers guided his dick to her tender opening and the pink, puffy f
olds slick with her girl juice. She rubbed him against her, drenching him with sleek heat, and he reached behind him to grasp the arm of the sofa, his fingers digging in deep. Even though he wanted to grab her hips and shove her down on him, he wanted her to take him even more. Knew she needed to take him.
But first…
“Kiss me, Jenna.”
To his shock, she shook her head. “Why? I thought you wanted a good, hard fuck?”
The words seemed foreign on her lips, another dark, secret layer revealed. “I did. I do, but—”
She leaned down, still stroking his dick while her mouth hovered over his. “But what?”
She licked his top lip, but immediately pulled back when he tried to capture her mouth.
He dug his fingers even harder into the fabric of the sofa, struggling to get enough air. “Don’t play games with me. Not now, querida. I want you too much.”
“Don’t worry. You’re going to get me. After everything you’ve done today, you deserve it. Only it’s going to be my way.” Straightening without kissing him, she slipped just the head of him inside her, watching his face as he gasped, then eased him out again. “I think I like the idea of making you wait though. Of making you suffer the way you’ve made me suffer these last three weeks, wanting you so bad I ached at night.”
“You should have said something. I ached the same way. I still do. Please. Put me inside you again.”
She did, letting him dig a few inches deeper this time before she lifted off of him.
He moaned with frustration, then moaned with pleasure as she once again rubbed her clit with the head of his dick, her movements faster and more jerky as her own need to climax barreled through her.
“Oh God. Oh Noah,” she hitched out.
“Take it. Now, Jenna.” When she just stared at him, he let go of the couch, grabbed her hips, and poised her pussy above the spear of his dick. “Lower yourself onto me.”