Copping Attitude

by Ava Meyers

  “Or what?” she challenged.

  He stared at her in disbelief. What had happened to the sexually needy but inhibited woman in need of hands-on therapy to get over the trauma of her past? She was gone. In her place was a woman so caught up in her passion that she was fearless. It made him want to grin, but it also made him want to answer her fearlessness with his own.

  He thrust himself up, stuffing several inches of himself inside her before slowly pulling out. Giving her no time to recover, he did it again. Then again, going deeper each time. He watched the expression of bliss on her face, watched the way her breasts bounced, and grinned. “Does that answer your question?” he breathed before slipping out of her entirely. He held her poised above him.

  “Now do it.”

  Without another word, she did, resting her palms on his chest for leverage and thrusting herself down and down and down so his shaft pushed past the tight, clenching walls of her pussy. By the time she was done, he was buried inside her to the hilt, his balls resting against her ass. She shook in his grip, obviously trying to adjust to the size of him inside her. He gave her a minute before he couldn’t take it anymore.

  Hand on her hips, he moved her, forcing her to ride him until she managed to catch the rhythm on her own. “That’s it, sweetness. I’m inside you now. You’re full to bursting with me. I’m going to ease that ache you were talking about until you can’t remember a time I wasn’t lodged inside you.”

  She was whimpering steadily, the friction of his cock moving inside her sensitive tissues obviously overwhelming her. But not enough. He didn’t want her whimpers. He wanted to make her scream with pleasure and he devoted himself to that task. Rearing up, he sucked on her nipples as he continued to thrust, hard and deep and tirelessly inside her. Even when she tired and began to slow, he kept up the pace. Eventually, he released her breasts and simply stared up at her, refusing to let her hide from him even when she began to cry.

  She began shaking her head. “No. No. It’s too much.”

  “You can take me,” he promised. “Now kiss me, Jenna, before it’s too late.”

  It was a defining moment, he knew. Something precious hung in the balance. Would she kiss him, giving him that emotional connection he so desperately wanted even as he invaded her body, or would she hide that last, vulnerable part of herself? He waited, feeling his own control slipping, his sperm tightening his balls.

  With a cry of surrender, she leaned down and kissed him, her mouth warm and wet, and her tongue actively chasing his. He groaned and lost it, blasting his cum inside her with such strong jerks that he thought he was going to die from the pleasure. Simultaneously, he felt her entire body stiffen and knew she was about to find her own release. He reached down and thumbed her clit.

  Against his lips, she screamed, long and loud as she came.

  He kept moving, prolonging her orgasm until he’d wrung the last ripple of pleasure from her body. She collapsed on top of him and he wrapped his arms tightly around her, not sure if he was ever going to be able to let her go.

  He rubbed his cheek against the top her head, wanting to tell her how he felt about her, but for the first time in a long time, he was at a loss for words. Reluctant to completely expose himself when the only thing he could think about was her walking away from him to go after the man she really wanted.

  CHAPTER NINE

  They dressed silently. Their smiles were genuine, their sighs fulfilled, but he saw the uncertainty he felt reflected in her pretty blue eyes. She served him dinner and they ate in yet more silence, stopping every once in a while to sip wine or kiss. The air around them had an almost dreamy quality to it, but as time passed, it gave way to yet more uncertainty until finally awkwardness and tension began to set in.

  She tried to joke her way through it.

  “So I guess getting you to talk about ‘your women’ wasn’t such a bad idea after all, huh?” She’d been loading dishes into the dishwasher. Finished, she turned toward him and leaned back against the kitchen counter.

  He hesitated, then said slowly, “I was a little over the top. I’m just glad I didn’t scare you off with my runaway mouth.”

  Her smile was strained. Artificial. With a hint of that coolness she’d always used as a barrier between them in the past. “How could you? I was amazed you still wanted me, even after the trouble I’d caused. Even after what some bastard did to me.” The instant the words left her mouth, he could see she wanted to take them back. But it was too late. He’d heard what she said. And what she hadn’t said.

  He strode toward her, penning her in with his arms against the counter when she tried to scamper away. He hooked a finger under her chin and turned her head until she had no choice but to look at him. “Is that what you really think? That you were raped, and that somehow makes you less desirable?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “But is it what you think?”

  She shrugged. “Some say the only women who get raped are the ones who deserve it.”

  “Who the fuck cares what they say. The question is, do you believe it?”

  She didn’t answer, and that was his answer. “You do, don’t you? Why?”

  “Look, forget I said anything…”

  “Why do you think you deserved it, Jenna? Just who was it that raped you? Because I’m getting the feeling it wasn’t just some random stranger who broke into your house.”

  “I don’t know why you—”

  “Who. Was. It?”

  Her expression tightened with anger and pain and yes, he could see it plain on her face now, guilt. “A guy I was dating, okay? A guy I knew liked to do the same things that you like to do to women. A guy I wanted to do those things to me. I wanted him to be rough. To tie me down. To make me do things I was too embarrassed to try, even though I really wanted to. Only he liked it to hurt. A lot. And when I complained, when I told him to stop, when I decided he wasn’t the one I wanted to do those things to me, he didn’t listen. He broke into my apartment and he took what I’d been so stupidly offering.”

  “Jenna, it wasn’t your fault—”

  “He got caught and he’s in prison, but you know what? He’s going to be out in a few months. And do you know why? Because he bought the judge who convicted him. The same judge who’d dismissed sexual assault charges against the same man six months earlier. The same judge who’s low-balled the sentences of a dozen other sexual offenders. But I’m not going to let him get away with it. Because he’s the man I want, Noah. The man I’m going to seduce—the man I’m going to fuck if I have to—to get the goods to put him away.”

  Noah dropped his hand and took several steps back. He silently cursed when he saw the expression of hurt on her face. She thought he was rejecting her, judging her, when he was simply reeling from the information she’d thrown at him. He didn’t know which statement he needed to address first, but he was damn sure that if he said the wrong thing, he was going to demolish any chance he had at being part of Jenna’s life. “Okay, time out. Let me catch my breath while you catch yours.” He reached for her again. Tried to pull her into his arms.

  This time, she evaded his reach, moving back into the dining room, putting the table between them while he could do nothing but watch helplessly. “No.” Her expression, so open and honest just minutes before, had closed up tight. Her walls were back up, stronger than before, and that made him want to howl with frustration. “This is over. Leave.”

  He shook his head. “Jenna—”

  “I’m not asking you, Noah, I’m telling you. I want you to leave.” She threw her jacket at him, and he caught it. Her breath was hitching. She was close to losing it. And damn it, he needed time to process everything she’d told him. So even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, he nodded. “Okay. I’m leaving.”

  He shrugged on his jacket and walked to the door. There, he hesitated with his hand on the doorknob. Uncertain, he looked at her. She stood with her arms crossed over her chest, staring at the door
as if already imagining him walking through it. He wanted to kiss her goodbye or give her a hug, something so his last image of her wouldn’t be the defensive posture she was in now and so her last image of him wouldn’t be his back as he walked away. There was a reason he held himself back—for the first time that night, he wasn’t sure if he could control himself.

  But he wasn’t leaving her with the impression that he was going for good. “This isn’t over, Jenna. I’m leaving but I’m coming back. And we’re going to finish what we’ve started.”

  ***

  Two days later, Noah sat across from Kate while they each nursed a cup of coffee. “I can’t believe you set me up like that, Kate.”

  Kate sighed, the pinched look on her face and the shadows beneath her eyes making him wonder if she regretted inviting him to her apartment that night. “I’m sorry, Noah. I didn’t know who else to trust with her and I knew no matter what happened you wouldn’t hurt her. And I’d hoped that…well, that being with you would help her forget about her plans against Judge Stavish.”

  “Plans? What plans? To become sexually involved with him in the hopes that she’ll get the information she needs to bring him down? That’s our fucking jobs, Kate, not hers.”

  “I told her that, Noah, but you don’t know Jenna. She focused on Stavish as the symbol of her fury and humiliation, and she wasn’t listening to me. She got it into her head that since the prosecutor had only named her as a ‘Jane Doe’ and her rapist had cut a deal, eliminating any need for her to testify at trial, she could approach Stavish without him knowing who she was. When she showed up three weeks ago, determined to hook up with this sexual surrogate and go forward with her plan, I tried to buy some time. In the meantime, I’ve been working on Stavish, trying to get the probable cause we need so Jenna wouldn’t have to. Excuse me if it’s been a little hard trying to prove that a judge is accepting bribes in exchange for the early release dates of sexual predators.”

  He reached out and covered Kate’s hand with his. “Look, I’m not blaming you. And I’m not sorry I followed you back to your apartment or that I stayed. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do from here. Jenna won’t see me. She won’t take my calls.”

  “That’s because she already went back home.”

  “What?” He was so stunned, she might as well have reached out and slapped him. She’d left?

  “She took the train back home this morning.”

  Noah slammed his fist on the table. “Damn it.” He was immediately tempted to go after her, but he didn’t, for the exact same reason he hadn’t seen her in two days.

  Stavish.

  There wasn’t a chance in hell he was going to let her do what she was planning, but if what she’d accused Stavish of was true, he didn’t want to deny her some good-old-fashioned justice either.

  “It’s actually a good sign, you know. Her leaving.”

  His mouth twisted at Kate’s words. “And how’s that?”

  “Apart from the sexual issue, Jenna isn’t anyone’s mouse. Not anymore. She had a problem standing up for herself in the past, but since the rape, she’s toughened up. She doesn’t take crap from anyone. The fact she ran means you’ve scared her on an emotional level. She’s not worried about her body, Noah. She’s worried about her heart.”

  He remembered the way she’d taken charge of their lovemaking at the end. How she’d allowed him to see her aggressive side, as well as her vulnerable one. “Yeah, well, she’s not the only one.”

  “Are you saying you love her?”

  “No,” he answered honestly. “I don’t know her well enough to love her. But I’m pretty damn sure it’s not going to take much longer for me to get there.”

  “Good. Because Jenna deserves some happiness. And so do you. I think your best shot at getting it is with each other.

  “I think you’re right.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Noah didn’t come after her.

  Two weeks had passed since he’d followed her to Kate’s apartment. Two weeks with no attempt to call her or see her. Once again, he was abiding by her wishes, even though doing so was really the last thing she wanted him to do.

  God, she was fucked up. No wonder he wanted nothing to do with her. He was probably thanking his lucky stars he’d gotten away from her when he did.

  Feeling like she’d aged twenty years, Jenna stood, walked to the television, and pressed the button on the DVD player that paused the screen.

  The frozen image of a woman having sex with two men almost made her want to laugh.

  She’d picked it up at the video store last week, but only after spending hours trying to find the right one despite the snickers of the guy behind the rental counter. She’d been playing the movie over and over in the past few days, remembering the sneaky way Noah had put it on after she’d invited him to stay for dinner. She kept hoping as she watched it that she’d be more affected by the images than her memories, but it never happened. All she could see was Noah’s body and gorgeous golden eyes. All she heard was his voice, urging her to take him while she took her own pleasure. All she felt was his hands touching her, making her feel cherished yet also strong enough to take anything he dished out.

  She’d given up her plan to seek out Stavish. Realized that even for revenge, she wasn’t going to be able to let him touch her now that Noah had. She wasn’t sure she’d ever want another man to touch her again, but as much as she grieved for Noah and the possibilities of what might have been, she wasn’t willing to give up that hope.

  He’d given her that. Given her back the hope that some day she could find the man she was meant to be with forever. She just wished that man could be Noah.

  So call him, she urged herself, just as she had for two weeks. But she found that, at least with respect to that, she was still very much a coward.

  Against the backdrop of her memories, she couldn’t help but compare herself to Noah. To how strong and good he was, and how mixed up and tainted she was. She knew what had happened wasn’t her fault. Despite what she’d said to him just before he’d left, she knew she hadn’t deserved what happened to her. But she’d been so afraid that someday, inevitably, that’s what Noah would think, and she hadn’t been able to face that fear down.

  The more time that passed, the more time she had to convince herself that she’d been right.

  He must be glad that she was gone, otherwise he would have tracked her down so they could finish things between them, just as he’d promised they would.

  Shaking her head, she was just about to turn the television off when someone knocked on her door.

  The hope she’d felt earlier expanded, filling her throat and urging her to rush to the door and throw it open. Noah, her heart cried, but she deliberately quashed it. It’s probably just the…

  Just the…

  Her thoughts jerked to a halt. She couldn’t even pretend to guess who it might be. She rarely had visitors. So even though she told herself not to hope, she couldn’t help the flicker of it that continued to burn inside her as she opened the door.

  The flicker flared for a moment when she saw Noah, but dimmed again when she saw his cool, serious expression without an ounce of softness or joy reflected at seeing her.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hi.”

  She stood there, her body half hidden by the door. She tried to speak, but couldn’t. Tears filled her eyes and yet he still appeared remote. Out of her reach despite the fact he was standing right in front of her. Her arms ached to hold him, but fear held her back. She didn’t know why he was here, but if he pushed her away, she wasn’t sure she could bear it.

  “Are you going to invite me in?”

  “S—sure.” She backed up and opened the door further. He walked past her, seeming to take extra care not to brush against her.

  “I can’t imagine you want to see me since you left without saying goodbye, but I wanted you to know that Kate and I—” His words came to a crashing halt when he spotted the TV sc
reen and the graphic image still frozen there.

  The humiliation started out as a bitter taste in her mouth and it quickly intensified the longer he stared at the screen. Why, oh why, hadn’t she turned it off before answering the door?

  When he finally looked at her again, his mouth now set into grim lines, she tried to do what she’d been doing for so long. Fake her way through her fear.

  “Oops. You caught me.”

  “Did I?” His gaze swept over her rumpled shorts and tee. Then, for some reason, it shifted around the house and landed on the hallway leading to the back bedrooms. “Is there someone here?” he asked silkily.

  “What? Of course—” Not. Of course not, she meant to say, but it dawned on her that he suddenly looked jealous. That meant he still cared about her. Didn’t it?

  But he obviously misinterpreted her words, because rage flashed across his face and suddenly he was striding down the hallway, opening closed doors so hard they banged against walls. When he came back to the living room, breathing hard, fists clenching, she hadn’t moved an inch.

  “Where is he?”

  She lifted her chin. “Where is who?”

  “The guy you were watching the porn with.”

  “He—he’s right there.” She pointed behind him.

  He whirled around, and their gazes clashed in the mirror. Instantly, the indifferent mask he’d been wearing was gone. Every part of him radiated relief, and that relief migrated into her, prodding her forward until she stood directly behind him. Hesitant, still unsure of her welcome, she wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and leaned her cheek against his strong back.

  The muscles that had clenched as soon as she’d touched him slowly relaxed. Her body shifted in time with his breaths. But still he didn’t turn to face her. Doubt taunted her one last time, and then she shoved it away. She wasn’t running from him or her own fear again. Today, it would stop.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I got scared. I’m sorry I drove you away. It was the last thing I wanted to do.”