Baby's First Book of Seriously Fucked-Up Shit
Page 18
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ROBERT DEVEREAUX made his professional debut in Pulphouse Magazine in the late 1980’s, attended the 1990 Clarion West Writers Workshop, and soon placed stories in such major venues as Crank!, Weird Tales, and Dennis Etchison’s anthology MetaHorror. Two of his stories made the final ballot for the Bram Stoker and World Fantasy Awards.
His novels include Slaughterhouse High, A Flight of Storks and Angels, Deadweight, Walking Wounded, Caliban, Santa Steps Out, and Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes.
Robert has a well-deserved reputation as an author who pushes every envelope, though he would claim, with a stage actor’s assurance, that as long as one’s writing illuminates characters in all their kinks, quirks, kindnesses, and extremes, the imagination must be free to explore nasty places as well as nice, or what’s the point?
Robert lives in sunny northern Colorado with the delightful Victoria, making up stuff that tickles his fancy and, he hopes, those of his readers.
You can find him online at Facebook or at www.robertdevereaux.com.
OTHER BOOKS BY ROBERT DEVEREAUX
Deadweight
Walking Wounded
Santa Steps Out
Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes Caliban and Other Tales
A Flight of Storks and Angels
Slaughterhouse High
THE VERY BEST IN CULT HORROR
“Brain Cheese Buffet” Edward Lee — collecting nine of Lee’s most sought after tales of violence and body fluids.
Featuring the Stoker nominated “Mr. Torso,” the legendary gross-out piece “The Dritiphilist,” the notorious “The McCrath Model SS40-C, Series S,” and six more stories to test your gag reflex.
“Edward Lee’s writing is fast and mean as a chain saw revved to full-tilt boogie.”
— Jack Ketchum
“Bullet Through Your Face” Edward Lee — No writer is more extreme, perverted, or gross than Edward Lee. His world is one of psychopathic redneck rapists, sex addicted demons, and semen stealing aliens. Brace yourself, the king of splatterspunk is guaranteed to shock, offend, and make you laugh until you vomit.
“Lee pulls no punches. ”
- Fangoria
“Zombies and Shit” Carlton Mellick III — Battle Royale meets Return of the Living Dead in this post-apocalyptic action adventure. Twenty people wake to find themselves in a boarded-up building in the middle of the zombie wasteland. They soon realize they have been chosen as contestants on a popular reality show cal ed Zombie Survival. Each contestant is given a backpack of supplies and a unique weapon. Their goal: be the first to make it through the zombie-plagued city to the pick-up zone alive.
A campy, trashy, punk rock gore fest.
“Slaughterhouse High” Robert Devereaux — It’s prom night in the Demented States of America. A place where schools are built with secret passageways, rebellious teens get zippers installed in their mouths and genitals, and once a year one couple is slaughtered and the bits of their bodies are kept as souvenirs. But something’s gone terribly wrong when the secret killer starts claiming a far higher body count than usual…
“A major talent! ”
— Poppy Z. Brite
“The Book of a Thousand Sins” Wrath James White — Welcome to a world of Zombie nymphomaniacs, psychopathic deities, voodoo surgery, and murder-ous priests. Where mutilation sex clubs are in vogue and torture machines are sex toys. No one makes it out alive — not even God himself.
“If Wrath James White doesn’t make you cringe, you must be riding in the wrong end of a hearse.”
-Jack Ketchum
“The Haunter of the Threshold” Edward Lee -
There is something very wrong with this backwater town. Suicide notes, magic gems, and haunted cabins await her. Plus the woods are filled with monsters, both human and otherworldly. And then there are the horrible tentacles… Soon Hazel is thrown into a battle for her life that will test her sanity and sex drive. The sequel to H.P. Lovecraft’s The Haunter of the Dark is Edward Lee’s most pornographic novel to date!
“Apeshit” Carlton Mellick III — Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Six hipster teens go to a cabin in the woods inhabited by a deformed killer. An incredibly fucked-up parody of B-horror movies with a bizarro slant
“The new gold standard in unstoppable fetus-fucking kill-freakomania… Genuine all-meat hardcore horror meets unadulterated Bizarro brainwarp strangeness. The results are beyond jaw-dropping, and fill me with pure, unforgivable joy. ”
— John Skipp
“Super Fetus” Adam Pepper — Try to abort this fetus and he’ll kick your ass!
“The story of a self-aware fetus whose moral y bankrupt mother is desperately trying to abort him. This darkly humorous novel a will surely appall and upset a sizable percentage of people who read it… In-your-face, allegorical social commentary. ”
— BarnesandNoble.com
“Rock and Roll Reform School Zombies” Bryan Smith — Sex, Death, and Heavy Metal! The Southern Illinois Music Reeducation Center specializes in “de-metalling” — a treatment to cure teens of their metal loving, devil worshiping ways. A program that subjects its prisoners to sexual abuse, torture, and brain-washing. But tonight things get much worse. Tonight the flesh-eating zombies come… Rock and Rol Reform School Zombies is Bryan Smith’s tribute to “Return of the Living Dead” and “The Decline of Western Civilization Part 2: the Metal Years.”
“The Vegan Revolution… with Zombies” David Agranoff — Thanks to a new miracle drug the cute little pig no longer feels a thing as she is led to the slaughter. The only problem? Once the drug enters the food supply anyone who eats it is infected. From fast food burgers to free-range organic eggs, eating animal products turns people into shambling brain-dead zombies — not even vegetarians are safe!
“A perfect blend of horror, humor and animal activism.”
— Gina Ranalli
“Necro Sex Machine” Andre Duza — America post apocalypse… a toxic wasteland populated by blood-thristy scavengers, mutated animals, and roving bands of organized militias wing for control of civilized society’s leftovers. Housed in small settlements that pepper the wasteland, the survivors of the third world war struggle to rebuild amidst the scourge of sickness and disease and the constant threat of attack from the horrors that roam beyond their borders. But something much worse has risen from the toxic fog.
“Whargoul” Dave Brockie — It is a beast born in bullets and shrapnel, feeding off of pain, misery, and hard drugs.
Cursed to wander the Earth without the hope of death, it is reborn again and again to spread the gospel of hate, abuse, and genocide. But what if it’s not the only monster out there?
What if there’s something worse? From Dave Brockie, the twisted genius behind GWAR, comes a novel about the darkest days of the twentieth century.
“Clickers” J. F. Gonzalez and Mark Williams — They are the Clickers, giant venomous blood-thirsty crabs from the depths of the sea. The only warning to their rampage of dismemberment and death is the terrible clicking of their claws. But these monsters aren’t merely here to ravage and pillage. They are being driven onto land by fear. Something is hunting the Clickers. Something ancient and without mercy. Clickers is J. F. Gonzalez and Mark Williams’ gore-soaked cult classic tribute to the giant monster B-movies of yesteryear.
“Jack’s Magic Beans” Brian Keene — It happens in a split-second. One moment, customers are happily shopping in the Save-A-Lot grocery store. The next instant, they are transformed into bloodthirsty psychotics, interested only in slaughtering one another and committing unimaginably atrocious and frenzied acts of violent depravity. Deadite Press is proud to bring one of Brian Keene’s bleakest and most violent novel as back into print once more. This edition also includes four bonus short stories: AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM
“The Innswich Horror” Edward Lee — In July, 1939, antiquarian and H.P. Lovecraft aficionado, Foster Morley, takes a scenic bus tour through northern Ma
ssachuset s and finds Innswich Point. There far too many similarities between this fishing village and the fictional town of Lovecraft’s masterpiece, The Shadow Over Innsmouth. Join splatter king Edward Lee for a private tour of Innswich Point — a town founded on perversion, torture, and abominations from the sea.
“Urban Gothic” Brian Keene — When their car broke down in a dangerous inner-city neighborhood, Kerri and her friends thought they would find shelter inside an old, dark row home. They thought they would be safe there until help arrived. They were wrong. The residents who live down in the cellar and the tunnels beneath the city are far more dangerous than the streets outside, and they have a very special way of dealing with trespassers. Trapped in a world of darkness, populated by obscene abominations, they will have to fight back if they ever want to see the sun again.
Copyright
DEADITE PRESS
205 NE BRYANT
PORTLAND, OR 97211
www.DEADITEPRESS.com
AN ERASERHEAD PRESS COMPANY
www.ERASERHEADPRESS.com
ISBN: 1-936383-50-0
“Showdown at Stinking Springs” original y appeared in Hustler Fantasies.
“Clap If You Believe” originally appeared in Crank.
“Ridi Bobo” originally appeared in Weird Tales.
“Li’l Miss Ultrasound” originally appeared in Gathering the Bones.
“Bucky Goes to Church” originally appeared in MetaHorror.
“Fructus in Eden” originally appeared in Pulphouse.
“One Flesh: A Cautionary Tale” originally appeared in Iniquities.
“The Slobbering Tongue That Ate the Frightfully Huge Woman” originally appeared in It Came from the Drive-In.
“Holy Fast, Holy Feast” originally appeared in Mondo Zombie.
Cover art copyright © 2011 Sebastien Grenier www.SEBASTIEN-GRENIER.com
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written consent of the publisher, except where permitted by law.
Printed in the USA.
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