Waiting Fate

by Kinnette, W. B.

  “So how’s your project coming?” he asked as they settled across from each other at a quiet table with a cute little lamp above them. Their Greek History project was due in a week — they were supposed to write about the play they’d gone to last weekend. She stifled a groan. “I haven’t started it yet. You?”

  “Nope. Here’s a fun idea…” His eyes sparkled as he tapped his chin. “We should do this project together. Two heads are better than one.”

  Ivy laughed. With a British accent, even clichés sounded adorable. “Sounds like a good idea.”

  The nice thing about Drew was that he liked to talk. A lot. So Ivy never had to try to keep the conversation going and there were no awkward silences. Even when he told her about his ex-fiancé and her evil ways, which could have been an uncomfortable conversation; he talked over it so fast that she didn’t have a chance to even squirm. Still though, she could hear the pain under his words. That girl had hurt him, and no matter how quickly he spoke, he couldn’t hide that.

  ****

  The movie was a romantic comedy. It was cute enough, but Ivy was bored, despite Drew’s best attempts to entertain her. It was almost the end of the movie when she figured out why she wasn’t having the time of her life with this handsome guy and his sexy accent. She wanted to be with Archer, and Drew was not Archer.

  “Oh dear,” she murmured. Of course, she’d known she felt something different toward Archer from the beginning. She’d always liked Archer, even back in junior high. But she’d been fighting it, ignoring it, hiding from it… She couldn’t fall in love. Love hurt. To love you had to trust, and trust hurt. She closed her eyes, grateful for the dark theater hiding her reaction as her breath came in little gasps. Drew said something and she gave him a shaky laugh, but all she wanted to do was get out of there. Go home to Desee. Maybe talk to Archer…

  Before the credits were even rolling she was gathering her things, and she practically sprinted out of the theater. Drew jogged to catch up with her. “Hey. What did you think?”

  Ivy, you’re being a jerk. Be nice. She slowed her pace. “It was a cute movie. Did you like it?” She forced a smile and made eye contact like a nice date should.

  “I did. But I was distracted a bit.”

  Me too. “You were?” she asked instead.

  He grabbed her hand. “By you.”

  Ivy felt her cheeks flush and she ducked her head. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  She could feel him watching her, even when she refused to look up. The ground at her feet was fascinating. “You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?”

  Ivy laughed, looking up. “My dad calls me a drowned rat.” At his incredulous look, she hastened to reassure him, “He’s kidding, of course. I think.” When he continued to stare at her like she was nuts, she sighed and continued, “I have a baby. I’m old. Beautiful isn’t the first word that comes to mind when I look in the mirror.”

  “Well, it should be.” The look he gave her was intense. Holy oh no. Please don’t kiss me. She stumbled backward out the theater door and into the cold night air. Her car was a few yards away. If she sprinted… “Well, this was fun. Thank you so much,” she said in a rush.

  He leaned toward her, and she stuck out her hand, poking him in the stomach. “Sorry!” she squeaked.

  He frowned. “I don’t even get a hug?”

  “Oh. Yeah.” She giggled like a lunatic and inwardly tried to figure out how to smack some sense into herself as she stepped into his embrace. “Thank you, Drew.”

  “Any time, Ivy. I’ll see you in class Monday, yes?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it!” She said with fake enthusiasm that made him laugh. She gave him a quick wave as she escaped into her car and resisted the urge to smash her forehead on the steering wheel, which might be exactly what she needed but would make her look even more insane than she already did. Instead she made sure Drew made it to his car and then raced home.

  She just made it in time to put Desee to bed. Ivy stroked the soft brown curls while she rocked her, humming softly, amazed, as always, at how beautiful her baby was. “You’re everything in the world to me, little one,” she whispered, pressing a kiss against Desee’s forehead as she rose to her feet and carried her to her crib. She tucked the handmade baby quilt tightly around her, resisting the urge to add another blanket just to be safe, and tiptoed out of the room.

  Chapter Nine

  Saturday dawned bright, the sunlight blinding her when Desee bounced on her bed. “Mama!”

  “Ugh. Desee, can’t we go back to sleep for a little while?” Ivy buried her head under the covers, but Desee was having none of it. She squealed and flung herself backward so that Ivy had to dive to catch her foot before she toppled off the bed and landed on her head. “Okay, okay. I’m up.” Ivy sighed, untangling herself from her blankets and swinging her feet out of bed.

  Even with her sleep-addled brain, her thoughts jumped to Archer. Stop that, she commanded herself.

  She was making scrambled eggs when her mom came down the stairs. “You’re up early,” Bev said.

  “Tell me about it.” Ivy yawned.

  “Are you sure you’ll be okay while we’re gone all week?” Bev stooped to pick up a toy Desee had thrown across the floor, setting it on the highchair tray and leaning to kiss the baby’s head.

  “Grma!” Desee waved her arms around, wiggling her fingers in her own little version of a wave.

  “Yes, Mom. I’ve been on my own a time or two.” Ivy winked when Bev huffed at her, annoyed.

  “And Kim is going to watch Desee on Monday and Tuesday?” She sounded more stressed than Ivy was about them leaving.

  “Yep, she said she was fine with it. And I’ll leave Wednesday after school and meet you in Arizona. Just like we discussed.” She handed Desee her eggs, and the baby squealed and dove in. Scrambled eggs were her favorite.

  “Can I help you load up the car? Are you all packed?” Ivy asked as she sat down next to Desee, hoping to catch most of the food before it hit the floor.

  “Mostly.” Bev busied herself taking her myriad of pills, and Ivy left her to it, dodging flying eggs.

  Ivy helped her parents load everything into their minivan. They weren’t getting any younger, and she worried about how indestructible they seemed to think they were.

  Ivy had been a bit of a surprise, and it was one of her favorite stories in the entire world. Her mom had been seven months pregnant when they realized why she was gaining weight. At first, they had thought Ivy was a tumor, because the doctors had told Bev for years that she couldn’t have any more children… Surprise! Turned out she was a baby instead. Her parents called her their miracle. Kate’s husband called her Tumor. That nickname, she didn’t love so much.

  But now they were getting older and she worried. She worried about the stress of keeping up with all their land and their big house. She worried about the stress she was putting on them, showing up and pleading poverty and using her mom for free daycare. She wished she could say that someday she would make it up to them, but so far she’d proven to be pretty worthless at all things good, so the only thing she could say was “thank you”, and hoped they knew how much she meant it.

  Forty-five minutes later, Ivy breezed into the living room. “You’re all packed. Do you want me to run fill the car up with gas?” she asked. Her parents were just finishing their favorite game show — it was a necessity for both of them every single day if they wanted to function normally.

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were in a hurry to get us out of here.” Jack raised an eyebrow at her.

  “I am. If you want to get to Mesquite before dark, you have to leave, like, now.”

  Jack chuckled. “You worry too much.”

  “Someone’s gotta.” She grinned as she flounced from the room to find Desee. Was she scared to have her parents gone? A little. But she’d left Alaska months ago, and Vick hadn’t dared to come after her. It was amazing what his fear of getting on the military’s ba
d side could do. It was the only job he’d ever been able to keep. So yes, she was scared. A bit. But she’d be okay.

  The day was surprisingly balmy for the middle of November. Thanksgiving was less than a week away, and she could go out in just long sleeves. “I play sand,” Desee said, trying to dig in the driveway dirt as they stood waving at Ivy’s parents.

  “This sand isn’t fun to play in. It’s too hard,” Ivy said, squatting down next to her and poking at the dirt with a stick. “We need a beach.”

  There was a dam not far from her house, about a half-hour drive, but usually by this time of year it was covered in snow. “How do you feel about a car ride?” Ivy asked Desee. The baby pulled a face and Ivy laughed. Desee still hadn’t gotten over their six-day escape from Alaska. Ivy was starting to worry she never would. “It will be a short one, I promise. Let’s go get dressed.”

  Giving in to the temptation she’d been fighting all morning, she dug her phone out of her pocket and sent a text to Archer. Whatcha up to? While she packed a snack and dug around for Sadi’s leash, she also chewed off most of her thumbnail, wondering if he would write back. When her phone beeped, she tried to not jump through the roof and then stared in panic at her cute little blue light blinking to tell her she had a message. What did he say? What did he say?

  “Mama, you phone.” Desee grabbed it and toddled over, holding it out.

  “Thanks, baby.” Before she could lose her nerve and throw her phone in front of an oncoming car, Ivy opened the message.

  Nothin. U?

  “Oh. Okay. Desee, do I dare do this?” Desee grinned at her while she swiped some cheese from Ivy’s snack bag. “Twerp,” Ivy muttered while she wrote him back. Desee wants to play in the sand. We’re going to see if the dam is frozen. Wanna come? She shut her eyes tight and hit Send.

  Less than a minute later he wrote back. Ivy squealed and Desee laughed and clapped her hands. Sure. When?

  Ivy sucked in a breath, excited. Terrified. She couldn’t even tell the difference anymore. Now.

  Seconds later he wrote her again, On my way.

  “Oh. Holy oh dear. He’s on his way. Sadi? Sadi!” Sadi loped in, her tongue hanging sideways out of her mouth in a lolling grin. “Wanna go for a ride?” Sadi’s tail dropped and her head hung like Ivy had suggested she feed herself to the cat population. “Just a short one! Good grief, you two! Have a little faith in me, will ya?”

  Sadi eyed her suspiciously.

  She snuck shovels and pails into the back of her car while Desee and Sadi chased apples that had fallen from Bev’s tree. She didn’t want to get Desee’s hopes up if the beach was under snow or too cold to play on. She heard Archer’s big truck long before she could see it — the engine had some weird modification that boys seemed excited about, and it was loud. Desee and Sadi both ran to her side, confident that Ivy would protect them. It hurt her heart to think about, so she focused instead on how nervous she was.

  “Hi.” He slid out of the truck with a grin. Desee raced behind Ivy’s legs and whimpered.

  “She doesn’t talk to men. Except my dad,” Ivy explained when Archer peered around Ivy. Sadi, too, whimpered and crawled away on her belly. “It’s okay. Come on, Sadi. Up!” Ivy patted the back seat and Sadi jumped in, curling her frame on the floor like she could disappear through it. Then Ivy scooped Desee up and buckled her seatbelt while Desee stared at Archer with big round hazel eyes. She hadn’t gotten Ivy’s eyes, or Vicks. Somehow, she’d gotten Bev’s eyes, and that was just fine with Ivy.

  She expected Archer to offer to drive. But he said nothing, just walked to the passenger seat and climbed in. As Ivy slid in next to him, he turned in his seat and winked at Desee. She stared harder.

  “I think if you hung around for a month or two, she might start talking.” Ivy grinned.

  “I can do that.” He was teasing, she could tell, but it still sent shivers up and down her spine.

  As she turned on the CD player, she glanced at him apologetically. “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind nursery rhymes.”

  “Not at all.” He didn’t talk much, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. It felt… warm. Safe.

  They were halfway up the canyon when he suddenly burst out laughing. “What?” Ivy glanced at him and then back at the road. These hairpin curves were frightening, and the drivers flying around them had obviously all lost their minds.

  “Are you listening to this nursery rhyme?”

  She shook her head, frowning. “No, I… try to tune them out.”

  “Here, listen.” He hit the playback button, scanning through the song until he found what he was looking for.

  “And al-ong came a black-bird that pe-ecked off her nose!” it sang happily.

  “What is that?” Ivy exclaimed. “That’s so horrible!”

  “This is what you force your baby to listen to. I understand now. All that country music you’ve been telling me you love all these months was just a cover.” Archer’s eyes sparkled when he smiled. Like the kind of sparkle you read about in books but never actually see in person. His did that. Ivy almost forgot to watch the road and had to jerk the wheel sharply to keep inside her lane.

  She cleared her throat several times before she could get out an attempt at a witty comeback. “Yeah well, I’m raising her to fear blackbirds. Shouldn’t we all? They’re too smart for their own good.”

  Archer laughed. It wasn’t loud and boisterous. It was a chuckle, but it was real. Ivy loved the sound, because he didn’t laugh often, especially not when they were around his friends. In fact, most of the time they spent around the others, Archer was working on perfecting his strong, silent-type persona. Emphasis on silent.

  “Look! No snow!” Ivy exclaimed as they came up the hill and could see the dam — and the beach.

  “Nice. Let’s hope the parking lot isn’t locked up,” Archer said.

  “It’s so beautiful up here. Almost reminds me of Alaska,” Ivy mused out loud, without realizing it.

  “Do you miss it?” Archer asked quietly.

  “Yeah.” She shrugged, struggling to explain, “I went through some of the hardest times of my life there, and yet… that place felt like home. When I left, it was like I left a piece of my soul behind.” She remembered standing on the dock, looking out at the ocean. It wasn’t a beautiful beach with crashing waves like she had seen in California. Instead, there was about a mile of quicksand-like mud before the water slowly rose to greet it. No one could go out there. Every few hundred feet there would be a half of a fishing boat sticking out of the gray mud. And yet, it seemed like the most incredible view in the world to Ivy. And now, she would never see it again.

  “You’re sad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean —”

  Ivy glanced at him with a quick smile. “I miss it. But it doesn’t have the unique geographical features that Utah does — like Goblin Valley or Bryce Canyon or the thousand other national parks in Utah that I’ve never seen.”

  Archer looked stunned. “You’ve never seen any of them?”

  Ivy shook her head. “We didn’t camp much when I was growing up. My parents had moved past the camping stage in their lives. We had a cabin, and we had Vegas and my sister’s place in Arizona. That’s the extent of our travels, for the most part.”

  When Archer continued to stare at her, dumbfounded, she continued, “I think before I was born they traveled more, but by the time I came around, they were ready to do the retirement-settle-down thing.”

  “I see.” Archer sat back as Ivy rounded the last bend. There was no gate blocking them from the parking lot, and there wasn’t a single car in sight. “Looks like we have the place to ourselves,” he said.

  Ivy hopped out and flung the back door open. “Ready for some sand?” she asked.

  Desee’s face lit up, but she glanced at Archer and didn’t make a sound. “Come on, Sadi. Let’s go run.” Ivy patted her leg and Sadi jumped out, stretching like she’d been stuck in the car for a century instead of a half-hour.

 
“Doesn’t she need a leash?” Archer asked.

  “If there were other dogs here, yes. But otherwise, she comes when she’s called.” With a crooked grin she continued, “She likes me.” She unbuckled Desee from her seatbelt and set her on the ground. Sadi instantly moved between the baby and Archer, her tail between her legs. “Desee, do you want your bucket and shovel?” Ivy asked. She was proud of Sadi for protecting Desee, even though she was terrified, but Ivy tried not to make a big deal of it.

  Desee looked up at her, eyes like marbles in her head, and nodded. “Come with me.” Ivy motioned to Desee. She knew how uncomfortable both her baby and her dog were with new men. Or other men who were not so new but pure evil. So she kept herself between them and Archer, chatting like there wasn’t a palpable fear so strong in the air around them that she could cut it with a knife — if she had brought a knife, which she hadn’t, because that would have been ridiculous.

  She hadn’t told Archer all of the story. He didn’t know exactly what Vick had done, so he couldn’t possibly understand their fear. But he seemed to. He gave Desee her space but would every so often wink at her or poke her chubby little tummy. Desee, not an easy little nut to crack, didn’t cave and stared at him with the big eyes. “I’m so sorry. It’s nothing personal. She does this to everyone. Especially men.”

  “It’s okay. I’ve got time.” He winked at her. Ivy got goose bumps. Desee snatched her bucket, and clutching Sadi’s fur in her chubby little hand, scurried off toward the sand as fast as her short legs could carry her.

  Ivy and Archer followed. “I can’t believe your dog doesn’t run away.” Archer said as they watched Sadi and Desee pick their way through the rocks to the beach.

  “She’s horrible with other dogs. She’d attack if one showed up. But otherwise, she’s an angel. In Texas, where I lived before I moved to Alaska, I could walk her miles through neighborhoods, and she’d stay right by my side. And in Alaska, we hiked all over those mountains, and I hardly ever had her on a leash. She’s a good dog.” Ivy smiled affectionately at her little German shepherd. Sadi could also open the fridge and get food out, she could turn door handles unless they were locked, and had jumped a six-foot fence once to save Ivy and Desee from an angry mutt-dog who was three times her size. Sadi had traveled from Utah to Texas with Ivy, been her only companion for three months while Ivy stayed trapped in an apartment with no car, phone, or TV, and then come back to Utah and on to Alaska. And then home again. That dog was the best friend Ivy had ever had in the world.