by Rayne O'Gara
Noelle
Wood sits down on my couch and pats the cushion next to him. “Come here, Sweets.” God that smoky tone of his really gets to me.
I give him what he wants and sit down next to him, wary of touching him, but also wanting to fall into him for a hug. I really need a hug right now. His arm wraps around my shoulders and tugs me into his side to surround me in his warmth. I sink into him and let only a few tears escape. Stephanie knew just what scores to make. The most destructive hits its mark. She was always good at that, but I am done crying over her or something she had said. Relaxing into Wood’s arms, I let the spicy smell of him wash over me. I’ve never had a comforting moment with him before and yet if feels so comfortable and…right.
“You ready to talk?” His voice is gentle, not pushing. He waits for my nod before helping me sit up, but not letting me go entirely. “Is there anything left to tell me or was that the extent?”
“That was everything. Every painful thing ripped open and spat out.”
“You could have made better girlfriend choices,” he says while nodding, contemplating. A quick bark of laughter escapes me and I nod.
“Yeah, I could have. But that reminds me. You need to be careful, Wood. She’s,” I shake my head. “She’s evil when she’s pissed. And she is past pissed with you.”
“She can’t touch me, baby. Don’t worry over me.”
“Of course I’m going to worry. I know how she is and I know how you are.” I look at him with a disgusted face. “Just because you tell someone not to worry doesn’t mean they won’t worry, it actually means they probably will worry more than what they would before. Just please, promise me you will watch out for her. I know you don’t want your ego to take a hit thinking some chick could hurt you, but do not underestimate her.”
“It’s not my ego that makes me so sure, well okay, it’s that a little bit, but I have people watching my back. Family.”
“Club.” I finish before him. He smirks and nods. We fall into silence for a few moments while I gain the courage to start asking him questions. “Why are you here?”
“Because you needed a hug.” I shake my head into Wood’s neck at his obvious side step.
“And how was it that you came to be here, in my home, for you to be available for the nastiness?”
“I rode my bike here.”
“Dillon,” I snap.
“I like that. Hearing you say my name. That’s one of the reasons why I’m here.” Tilting my head, I look into his eyes, almost losing myself in the jade depths.
“I like having the chance to say it,” I tell him.
“I still can’t be what you need me to be.” What? He’s here, holding me, telling me all this, but he still can’t be with me? My hope starts to die, painfully.
“Then why are you here?”
“I thought if I gave you the reason, it would help you understand and you can be happy with Caveman.”
“I’m already happy with Caveman, but something is missing. A part of me not getting the chance to live. I think that part is you. I just want the chance to find out. To see what we could be together.”
“I can’t give my trust to a woman again,” he snaps out, I chuckle ruefully.
“Neither can I.”
“It’s taken me ten years to start forgetting the first one.” I stay quiet. This is going to hurt. I know it is. But I need to know why he won’t give us a chance, and maybe find a way to push through his past. “I was a fucking tool when I was younger, but the one thing I put my effort into was my high school girlfriend. My parents loved her. I loved her, or she at least made me think I loved her.
“We got engaged after graduation and were enrolled into the same college. Everything was on the right path. I wasn’t rich and worked two campus jobs to continue school. She flew through her courses, so fucking smart.” Oh shit, did she die? Please don’t say she died. No matter what I do, I can’t fight the ghost of his first love. “She got pregnant. I was going to be a daddy. I was fucking scared out of my mind, but also on cloud fucking nine about it. I had a loving family. Money got real tight, real fast. So I dropped out and found a full time job working minimum wage, but it was a paycheck. I was doing what I could to support us. Found us a place. Moved to a better job. But it wasn’t enough for Sara. She was accustomed to better and I was letting her down. She still took classes, because nothing was going to stop her from getting her diploma. She started looking down on me for dropping out and constantly told me I would never amount to anything better than being someone’s lackey.
“It didn’t matter what she said, she was having my kid, and we would get through it. Around five months along she started to really show and I could feel my baby kicking, most incredible thing in the world. She told me it wasn’t mine. That she cheated and got knocked up, but played it off as mine so she would be supported. I didn’t believe her. She was looking for an out.
“Two weeks later I was called to the hospital. Sara was there, she lost the baby caused by horrible trauma. I didn’t understand, because Sara looked fine. There wasn’t a car accident, she didn’t fall down the stairs. I couldn’t get her to tell me what happened other than the baby was gone.” My stomach tightens, sloshing and churning. The path he’s leading to is horrible. Excruciating and I didn’t even live through it. Jesus, Dillon. I want to hold him, but if I touch him will he stop talking? He’s explained so much to me already, but a strong feeling stops me, something tells me he needs to finish the story.
“The doctor stops me the next day along with a police officer. They begin questioning me about abuse. Do I hit her when I become angry? Do I drink a lot and black out? Have I ever blah, blah, blah, motherfuckers. I would never raise a hand like that to a woman, especially not to my pregnant fucking fiancée. At least I got my answers in the end. I walked back into her hospital room, ripped off the blanket, lifted her shirt and almost puked at the black and blue fist sized bruises dotting her abdomen. Six. It took six punches from her fucking professor boyfriend to kill my baby.”
I can’t hold myself back anymore at the pain in his voice. I climb across his lap and hold onto him for dear life. “I’m so sorry. So sorry. God, Dillon. Baby, I’m so sorry.” I cry into his hair and rock him unconsciously. No wonder! I never thought…how could you do… God, how has he lived?
“Noelle.” I move to kiss his lips softly before resting my forehead atop his.
“I understand, now. I really do. I’m so sorry for your loss, baby.” What more can I say? I want to fight for him, to ease his pain. But I can’t, not right now, not without sounding completely selfish. I will not taint this moment with my selfish desires.
“I need to go,” he whispers brokenly. I shake my head. I can’t let him go right now.
“Stay.”
“Noelle,” His voice is warning, but I will not give in on this.
“No, Dillon. You are torn up right now. There’s not a chance in hell I could let you walk out my door and not know that you’re going to be alright. Give me an hour or two of knowing you’re alright to ride, please.”
“Noelle.”
“Then take me with you.”
“What?”
“If you need the road to help I get that and won’t keep you from it. But let me ride with you.” I cup his face and make him look into my watering eyes. “If I’m on the back of your bike, I know you will be careful. Please.”
His body relaxes slightly before his head rubs against mine in a nod. “Thank you. Let me get ready, five minutes,” I say and rush to grab a jacket, sunglasses, braid my hair, and put my shoes back on. We are on his bike flying down the road less than ten minutes later, letting the wind cleanse us both of awful memories.
We ride for hours, until we are surrounded by stars and I shiver with cold. Wood drops me off at my front porch. He presses the softest, sweetest kiss to my lips, and with a whispered ‘sorry’ as his last word, he leaves.
With a huge chunk of my heart.
Chapter Fi
fteen
Noelle
Wow!
That was freaking interesting!
My sweet Jay has always had a temper, but damn. She is on it tonight. Must be the hormones. The party rages around us at the Demon Rebels clubhouse. Me and my girls came together and really didn’t know what to expect once we were here. I mean yeah, I’ve been here before, but we left before the actual party started. This is crazy. Bikers, slutty women, loud ass rock music, and lots, I mean lots of booze. It’s crazy.
Jay apparently wants to add to the crazy. Walking over to that bitch who’s all over Onyx and smacking down. How great is it that Onyx let Jay smack a claim on him in front of everyone? I haven’t even done that with Cave. I mean, it’s obvious he is mine and thankfully no piece of ass has tried to bother him tonight, I’ve been keeping an eye on it. But then Steel has to be a douche, practically breaking my girl’s heart. I’m about to go smack down on him, I mean hello! She’s carrying your child, asswipe! Have some feelings. I have to hold Stacy from doing exactly that. But thankfully she listens to reason. Do not piss off the scary bikers, even though they really aren’t that scary to me anymore, I mean, why would they? I’m with the scariest one of them after all. Anyway, don’t piss them off, we are in their territory, and that’s just not done. Respect, I have found, is a huge thing with these guys. Do not disrespect them. Or their ‘cuts’. Or their bikes. Shit, just smile and nod. Smile and nod.
I smile over at Caveman sitting in the middle of one of the couches. The cushions on either side of him are empty even with all the bodies walking around this place. No one wants to sit that close to him, I secretly think he did that on purpose. To fuck with people and to have the couch to himself. My man is a sly one with a twisted sense of humor. He gives me the head nod before I look away and smile at Wood for what he just did.
Jay is way down because Steel ignored the claim she put down and she thinks he doesn’t want her. Wood tries to explain things from Steel’s perspective, but it’s not helping. So he goes drastic and does an ‘okay I will prove it’ moment. He likes to do those. And is rewarded with Steel’s fist against his face. Oh yeah, Steel wants Jay, and just claimed her. I guess big bad bikers like to do the claiming and not the other way around. Another reason I haven’t done anything, because if any of these guys are a big, bad, biker man, it’s my man. But I am getting a bit antsy about it. Especially now that Jay just got hers.
With eyes still on Wood, I watch him nod to a young man wearing a jacket, but no patches. Caveman said he was a Prospect, someone who was ‘training’ to be a member of the club. It looks like Wood gives over bartender services to the Prospect and a little flare of hope wells inside of me that he will walk my way. Unfortunately, he is sticking to his guns and has stayed away from me. I understand the why, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt.
A long blond haired, barely dressed woman drapes herself all over him. He smiles at her and my heart cracks. If he sleeps with these women, I don’t need physical proof of it. It’s better to think he only has been sleeping with me. Even though it’s been weeks, I still let the fantasy engulf me. His eyes look up and meet mine. His smile falls and I clearly see the flash of regret in them before he walks up the stairs with the clinging woman at his side. Following the path that Jay and her men took just recently.
I quickly avert my gaze to Caveman’s black penetrating ones, wishing we were alone, so I can fall into his natural colored eyes. His long finger crooks at me and I nod. I step forward but stop when a heavily painted skank blocks my path, her face twisted in an ugly bitch face.
“Can I help you?” I ask, just wanting to fall into Caveman’s arms right now and not deal with whatever bug is up this chick’s ass.
“Yeah, you can stop eyeing my friend’s man, bitch.” Her brown blown out hair barely moves when she bobs her head side to side and props her hands onto her hips.
“I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” I haven’t been eyeing anyone’s man.
“Don’t act dumb, bimbo. You know what I’m talking about. Just keep your skeevy eyes off her man, end of.”
“Who are you talking about?” I take a sip from my now empty beer and wait for my answer. Glancing over her shoulder I check in with Cave, not noticing the weird chick has stopped talking and she had followed my gaze.
“Pfft. Never mind. I’m wasting my time. Looks like you found your own. Dumb bitch to dumb dick.” Um what did she just say?
“Excuse me? Did you just call Caveman dumb?” Surely not. Surely she did not just insult my man. I don’t give a fuck what she says about me but you do. Not. Go. There.
“Whatever that big quiet one is called, yes. He doesn’t have enough brain cells to even speak, but I bet he fucks real good. Maybe I will give him a ride.” She licks her lips and looks back over to my man.
Oh. Fuck. No.
An anger and possessiveness I’ve never felt so strongly before waves over me in a wave of hell fire. No one talks about my man like that!
Before I knew what was happening, I smashed my empty bottle against the bar at my side, fist my hand in the twat’s sticky hair, and, not so gently, place the broken bottle to her neck, bending her back and down onto her knees or her neck would be splattered red.
“The fuck you just say about my man!?” I may have screamed that, okay I totally screamed that, but I am pissed off beyond everything right now. This night has not been good so far and then she wants to insult Caveman, to my face!
“I, I—”
“What, bitch? I can’t fucking hear you? Come on, speak up.” She twitches under my hands making the bottle dig in deeper. Her screams have grabbed the attention of everyone in the clubhouse and I can’t hear the music any longer, which was kind of deafening to begin with.
“Go on. What did you say. About. My. Man. I think everyone here would probably like to know.”
“He, he… I—”
“Bitch, I’m getting real tired of this shit. What I think I heard you say, and I better be fucking mistaken, was that Caveman was a dumb dick. That he was so stupid he couldn’t talk. But hey, you wondered if he would be a good fuck anyway. That about right or am I mistaken?” I hiss at her and clench her hair tighter in my grip when she stays quiet. I bend lower so only she can hear me.
“You come to a club party and insult a member, not only that but their fucking Sergeant-of-Arms, on their territory, to his woman after you threaten said member’s woman. You think for a second that you’re actually going to live past tonight?” Now I know she will live, I’m just enjoying scaring the bitch to death. Even with the death glares the guys are giving the bawling woman at my feet, I’m pretty sure they won’t hurt her. Okay, much. Wouldn’t hurt her much.
“Apologize,” someone states from behind me and I smile in recognition. He’s not up there fucking some random chick, he is taking my back. Right behind me. But I’m not going to push the manslaughter chance that the skank isn’t still hanging all over him, so no looking back to him. But yeah a warning maybe.
“I’m already pissed right now, Wood. That skank better not be hanging all over you right now.” I hear his light chuckle at my warning. What? Does he find this entertaining?
“Nope. She’s gone, Sweet Thang. Couldn’t handle the face of your crazy.”
“I-I’m sorry! So fucking sorry! Please get this crazy bitch away from me,” this chick cries.
“We were having a conversation, it’s rude to interrupt.” I tell her and let her go smiling as I watch her scramble back away from me. “Watch the insults and trash talking, skank,” I warn before tossing the broken bottle in to the trash can, my eyes never leaving her quivering person.
“Tuck!” Wood yells at the Prospect. “Take the fucking trash out.”
“You got it.” He grabs the chick by the upper arm and escorts her to the door. “Let’s go, bitch, and do not ever come back. For your own fucking safety, yeah?”
I take my eyes off her back and make my way to Caveman, the way not so ful
l of people as it once was before my little drama. Smiling men and petrified women split until I’m able to reach my man and ease down onto his lap. Feeling his arms wrap around me and his body bouncing with his loud laughter is all I need in this moment to calm down.
“Quite the show, baby.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into his throat.
“Don’t apologize for letting that side of you out. She makes me hard as fucking rock.” He grabs my hips and grinds my short skirt-covered ass against his thick erection. I moan into his ear. My pussy is clenching and in desperate need to feel him inside of me. To take this ache away. “Makes someone else practically drool.” He chuckles and I look up at him. I follow his gaze and lock onto Wood sitting about ten feet away holding a beer and relaxed in a chair, his eyes not moving from Caveman’s hand on my hip. Oh yes.
“You want to be naughty as well as wild tonight?” Caveman growls into my ear, making me whimper. I do. It’s been a while since I’ve been naughty. What is Cave thinking of doing to me? With all these people? Or would he move us somewhere private? I hope not. I want to be watched while being bad. I feel beautiful and exposed, feelings that I recently have been craving to feel again.
“Dance for me.” Dance for him? Like, like a lap dance? His hand moves me against him again, answering my inner questions. Yes, exactly like a lap dance. And I’m going to make it the best damn lap dance he’s ever received. Everyone here has seen me at being pissed wild. Now I get to show them why I’m worth all the trouble. Hell yes.
I listen to the song that’s just started to play from the large speakers set up around the room and wait to feel the beat. It pulses through me. My hips sway in time after turning to sit in his lap, my feet on the ground between his legs facing Wood. His half-lidded aroused eyes only fuel my fire.
I twist my body. I arch my back. I ride his jean-covered cock hard. Then for a tease for Wood, I spread my legs and rest them one on each side of Caveman, spreading my legs wide and showing Wood just how wet my pink panties are. Soaking. For him. Them.