His Surrender

by Jaclyn Osborn

  “I learned everything I know from you.” Remi smiled.

  Johnny and Mike approached the stage, as did two other men I didn’t know but recognized from past shows.

  “That’s Freddie on bass,” Remi told me, once we’d sat at a table to the left of the stage. “Ace is on drums. His real name is Archie, but he’ll kill you if you call him that.” He laughed, and I wondered if he was remembering a time when he’d made that mistake. “Is something wrong?”

  “Huh?” I straightened up in my chair. “Everything’s fine. Why?”

  “You had a strange look on your face,” he answered, his pale eyes studying me. Did he see the truth? That I had enjoyed the sound of his laugh and had been fighting the urge to pull him against me and kiss him?

  “It’s been a long week,” I said, hoping he accepted the answer and moved on. Because it was mostly true. That week had been brutal in court. So much so that Emery and I hadn’t talked to each other at all.

  I hid how much that hurt too.

  “We don’t have to stay long if you want to call it an early night.”

  “No, I’m okay,” I said, before motioning to a passing waitress. “Can I get a beer?” I nodded to Remi. “And whatever he wants.”

  “I’ll just have a water,” he answered.

  “You got it,” she said and went over to Bianca at the bar.

  “Want a cigar?” I asked Remi, standing from the plushy chair. There was a room at the back that had a wall of cigars to choose from.

  “Please.”

  I walked past him and released the breath I’d been holding. I felt jittery. Frazzled. Remi had taken all of my self-imposed rules and ripped them to shreds. I was torn between wanting to hightail it out of that bar to get as far away from him as possible and wanting to tug him onto my lap and kiss him for the world to see.

  As a lawyer, it was my job to look at both sides of the case. I had to predict the arguments the defense would make, had to put myself in their shoes, so I could form a counterargument. Making decisions about Remi was the same way.

  What were the pros and cons of getting closer to him emotionally?

  I reached the room with the cigars and moved my gaze along the shelves. Thinking. A pro with Remi? Being around him made me smile more than I ever had. The sex was amazing. The con? Stripping down my walls and letting him see the real me, then having him take my trust—my heart—and crushing it in the palm of his hand.

  Would he really do that? I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure I was ready to take a gamble just yet.

  After picking out two cigars, I paid for them and returned to the table. The waitress had already brought over my beer, and Remi sat sipping his water with his gaze fixed on the stage. The band had started their set, and Johnny played the sax as if he’d been born with it in his hand.

  “Here you are, my good sir.” I handed him a cigar before taking the seat across from him.

  “Good sir?” Remi’s brow shot up. “Are we in medieval days now?”

  “God, I hope not. Although, I’d look great in knight’s armor.”

  “You’d look great in anything,” Remi muttered before lighting the end of his cigar. My dick hardened at the sight of his lips wrapping around it as he took a puff.

  “You sure I can’t buy you something else?” I asked, motioning to his water. “I know you said you don’t drink, but I didn’t know if it was just hard liquor or all of it.”

  “All of it,” he answered, blowing out smoke. “I used to drink. A lot. I hated the person I was because of it. I made a lot of stupid mistakes back then.”

  “You were an alcoholic?”

  “No, I am an alcoholic,” Remi clarified. “An addict is always an addict, Jay, no matter how many years of sobriety they have. I’m going on five years of not drinking. Each day is a challenge, but I’m proud of the progress I’ve made.”

  “Congratulations,” I said, feeling warmth spread through my chest. Admitting such a thing wasn’t easy, and I was touched that he’d shared something so personal with me. Then, I looked at my beer. “Shit. I shouldn’t be drinking in front of you. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” Remi gave me a warm smile. “Drink your beer, Mr. Foley.”

  “Back to the formalities again, are we?” I tilted the bottle back as I took a drink.

  “It’s kind of our thing now.” Remi exhaled more smoke, his eyes locked onto mine. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

  Our thing. Why did those two words excite me?

  “I suppose.” I placed my cigar between my lips and lit it. His eyes watched me in the same way mine had watched him. A deep hunger shone in the blue depths. A hunger I knew all too well.

  “What do you want to do after this?” he asked in a raspier tone.

  “You, hopefully.”

  “That can be arranged.”

  Oh, hot damn.

  We stayed for the rest of the band’s show, and once they were done playing, Remi spoke to the members while I stood beside him, trying to control my wandering hand as it caressed his back.

  “Glad to have you back,” Remi said to Mike before hugging him.

  “Thanks for fillin’ in for me when I was gone,” Mike responded, patting Remi’s shoulder. “You’re a good kid. Always have been.”

  It amused me how he called Remi a kid, but to the other men in the band, that’s exactly what Remi was to them. From what Remi had told me, those men had practically raised him when his mom passed.

  “It was great meeting you, Mike,” I said, going to shake the man’s hand.

  He gently brushed my hand aside and pulled me in for a hug instead. “Any friend of Remi is a friend of mine.”

  Remi caught my eye over the top of Mike’s bald head and smiled. The smile was different than others I’d seen. It was warmer.

  After helping Johnny and the guys load up their instruments, Remi and I told them good night once again and walked outside. The weather was warm for end of February, and as we left the bar and headed for the parking lot, I breathed in the fresh air, finding the warmth reassuring. It meant spring was right around the corner.

  Spring symbolized growth and new beginnings. And as I glanced at Remi walking beside me, his eyes meeting mine and a small smile curving his lips, I wondered if he’d be my new beginning. Wondered if he’d be the warmth to melt the ice around my heart.

  Chapter 14

  Remi

  Jay’s house wasn’t what I’d expected. I had pictured a total bachelor pad with little to no decorations, maybe a playroom with a leather couch, whips and sex toys hanging on the wall, and an extravagant bed in the center of it all.

  The reality? Very different than that.

  “Wow,” I said, after stepping through the front door and looking around.

  Hardwood floors in the living room, and there was a brown couch and love seat holding white and orange pillows. A multicolored rug was beneath the antique coffee table. The walls held a variety of landscape paintings and a few black-and-white photographs.

  “I’m a lover of beautiful things,” Jay said, casting his gaze around the room almost nervously. “I know it’s a lot.”

  He’d told me he rarely brought men home. This was a part of his world he let very few people ever see. Was that why he was nervous?

  “I like it.”

  “Thank you.” Our eyes met, briefly, before he averted them again. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “No, thanks.” I remained standing in the entryway. So did he. I started laughing. “Could we be any more awkward?”

  His face broke into a smile. “Probably not. What the hell is wrong with us? We’ve seen each other’s asses. Having you in my house shouldn’t be this weird.”

  That’s when I heard a faint meow before something touched my leg. I looked down and saw the most adorable cat I’d ever seen in my entire life—big eyes and a pushed-in face surrounded by orange fur. I bent down and reached to pet him, going slow because I knew some cats didn’t like to be touched and
startled easy.

  The cat stared at my hand before head-butting it and purring.

  “He likes you,” Jay said, crossing his arms and staring down at us with a smile. “Not surprising.”

  I returned his smile and continued petting the cat. “What’s his name?”

  “Sputnik. But I call him Sput.”

  “Why Sputnik?” I asked, amused. “Wasn’t that the name of a satellite?”

  “Correct.” Jay joined me on the floor and scratched the cat’s back. “Before I got him, I browsed adoption sites for a while. Then one day I saw him at an animal shelter two hours away. He was a few years old at the time, and he’d been abused by his previous owners. I knew right then I needed to adopt him.” Jay smiled at Sputnik with so much love in his eyes that it made my chest ache. He was really beautiful when he let his guard down. “He didn’t have a name yet, and when I brought him home, a documentary came on the History channel about the Cold War and they talked about the launch of Sputnik. I don’t know. The name just stuck.”

  Sputnik flopped onto his back, showing his fat belly, and purred up a storm.

  “The more I learn about you, the more I realize just how wrongly I judged you,” I said, ashamed by the fact.

  “What do you mean?” Jay picked up Sputnik and rose to his feet, giving the cat kisses on the head as he carried him to the kitchen.

  I followed him and leaned against the island as he refilled the cat’s water bowl. “I thought you were this cold-hearted seducer who didn’t give two shits about anyone but himself. Someone who was self-centered and didn’t care who he hurt just as long as he got what he wanted.”

  “Ouch.” Jay turned to me, and my stomach dropped at the sadness in his eyes.

  “But that’s not you at all,” I said, stepping closer to him. “I’m so fucking sorry for misjudging you.”

  He lifted a hand and caressed my cheek, his emerald eyes holding me prisoner. “You weren’t completely wrong. I have a trail of broken hearts behind me, men I’ve used and hurt over the years. And I do have selfish tendencies. I’m also very self-absorbed. I’d say you were pretty spot on, darlin’.”

  “God, why does that stupid endearment make my stomach flutter?” I asked, putting my hand over his and holding it against my cheek. “I’m sure you say it to all the guys.”

  “I do.” That sad look flashed in his eyes again. He placed his other hand at my hip and leaned forward, ghosting his mouth across mine. “But none of them had even a fraction of the hold you have over me, Remi. None of them made me want more.”

  It was hard to breathe. Jay overwhelmed my senses. His touch set my body on fire, his scent intoxicated me, and the sound of his voice made my soul sing.

  “And you want more with me?” I asked, my voice shaking.

  “I swore to myself I’d never feel this way,” Jay said with a slight growl, tightening his hold on my waist. “For so many years, I kept to that too. Then you came along and made me question everything. I thought I could fuck you and move on, but I was wrong. So fucking wrong. You’re all I think about. Goddammit, you’re all I want.”

  The heat of his body pressing to mine and the tickle of his breath on my lips had my head spinning. Jay could have anyone… yet, he wanted me. It made no sense and also made the most sense of anything I’d ever known.

  “I want you too,” I said. “I told you before that I was falling for you. I still am. I never stopped.”

  “Even if I’m wrong for you?”

  “You’re not.” I nuzzled his smooth cheek with my nose. “I always thought I was cursed because I fell for the bad boys… but I don’t feel that way with you, Jay. Not anymore. When I’m with you, I feel so right. Like I’ve been lost in the dark and suddenly find myself standing beneath the sun.”

  Jay shuddered and pressed his forehead to mine. Was he angry? Upset?

  “Potseluj menya,” he whispered, gripping my nape.

  “What does that mean?” I asked, trembling. With lust. With nerves.

  He pulled back just far enough to look me in the eye.

  And then he kissed me.

  His lips were soft, yet firm, and they moved on mine slowly, hesitantly, as if asking for permission. I gave it. I crushed my mouth to his and pinned him against the counter, grabbing at his shirt as the kiss grew heavier. More frantic. His hands grabbed at me, too, and moved to my chest to unbutton my shirt.

  “I need to feel you against me,” Jay murmured, sliding his hand up my shirt and along my bare side. “Need to feel your skin against mine.”

  God, I needed that too. More than I needed my next breath.

  “Then take me to your room,” I said, gripping a handful of his shirt.

  I’d only had Jay once, but it had been the best sex of my life. I practically vibrated with the eagerness to have him again. My ass ached, felt empty. I moaned at the memory of his thick cock moving inside of me and seized his lips.

  Jay wrapped his arms around me and tugged me away from the counter, dragging me with him as he stepped toward the hall. Our teeth clanked as we kissed and walked. When I saw people do that in movies—ripping each other’s clothes off and discarding them all throughout the house on their way to the bedroom—I had always thought it was unrealistic. Mainly because none of the men I’d been with had ever been that eager to get me naked.

  However, Jay yanked off my shirt and threw it to the floor as we bumped into the wall. I then pulled off his, tossing it behind me before falling against him again. Our mouths fused together.

  Once in his room, he pushed me on the bed and got on top of me, much like the first time we’d screwed. There was something different that time, though. Jay brushed the hair from my brow before placing a kiss there. The action caused a mini explosion in my chest, one that spread like wildfire when he claimed my lips.

  “Take off my pants,” I said, kicking off my shoes and lifting my hips off the mattress.

  Jay grinned and propped himself up on one arm. His blond hair fell in in his face as he looked down at me. “Someone’s demanding tonight.”

  “Can’t help it. I need you. It’s been too long.”

  He fumbled with my belt before undoing it and unzipping my pants. I watched as he worked them down my thighs, and I whimpered when he kissed my dick through my boxers.

  “Such a tease,” I groaned.

  “Says the man who tried to lure me into a bath when I was trying to behave myself and do the right thing.”

  I snorted. “Are you going to hold that over me forever?”

  “Maybe.” After throwing my pants to the floor, he stuck his fingers beneath the waistband of my boxers. “Should I take these off too?”

  “I have a better idea.”

  Shock sparked in his eyes as I flipped him to his back. He stared up at me, his lips parted, as I glided a hand down his stomach, admiring the ridges of abs. He was like a valley of muscle and sex, and I wanted to explore every inch of him. I scooted down his body and popped his jeans open.

  Jay didn’t say a word as I slid them down his sexy as hell toned legs. I returned to his waist and went to take off his boxer briefs.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, grabbing my wrist in a gentle hold.

  I nearly laughed at the question, until I saw his serious—and nervous—expression.

  “Undressing you,” I said, dipping my head to kiss his naval. “Is that okay?”

  Watching me with eyes that were still filled with apprehension, he nodded and sunk back against the mattress. He remained tense. I knew how masterful he sucked cock, how skilled his fingers were. But he acted like this was new for him.

  Did the men he fucked not repay the favor? I found that unbelievable if so. Sure, it was amazing having Jay worship me with his tongue, but the thought of worshipping him with mine excited me just as much. If not more.

  “I’ll stop if you want me to,” I said, hating that weird look in his eyes.

  “No.” He swallowed and let go of my wrist. “It’s okay. Don’t st
op.”

  Something clicked in my head then. When I’d joked in the past about not being a bottom, Jay had reacted almost in a panic, saying he was only a top. And now with him getting weird about me taking his clothes off… had someone hurt him before?

  The thought made me feel sick, and tears sprang to my eyes. I lowered my head again to hide the tears and kissed the dip of his hip bone. He trembled beneath me and brushed his fingers through my hair.

  Oh, my beautiful Jay.

  “I’m going to make you feel so good.” I kissed his stomach and slowly pulled down his briefs.

  His semi-hard cock sprang forward, arching beautifully between his muscled thighs. Gripping his base, I glanced at him to make sure he was okay. I didn’t know his past or what he went through, but I’d do everything in my power to keep him in the present. To show him how amazing it could be when someone else had control.

  Jay stared at me, his nostrils flaring a little with his intakes of air. He was shaking too, ever so slightly. His cock was heavy in my hand, and it twitched as I slipped the tip between my wet lips. The softest of sighs left him, and his fingers glided through my hair, as if petting me.

  His taste was incredible, fresh with a minor muskiness. I swirled my tongue around his slit and moved my hand in an upward glide. When I took him deeper into my mouth, I looked up to see Jay’s brow furrowed and his gaze intense. His expression was a combination of arousal and doubt, as if he wanted me to continue but was unsure too.

  “Relax,” I said, stroking him from root to tip. “Let me take care of you.”

  “I am relaxed.” Though his voice was steady, his body was tense.

  “Liar.”

  “I…” He licked his lips and looked away from me. “I like to have control, Remi. Letting someone do this… I don’t know.” He brought an arm up and rested a hand over his eyes, appearing so damn vulnerable it made my stomach knot. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” I smoothed my thumb along his hip. His need for control explained how he treated me when we had sex. He’d prepped me, then flipped me over and took me from behind. Not letting me touch him. “It’s okay.”