“You grate your own cheese?” Cason asked, popping up beside me. Then he took on a French accent. “Vell, vell, Monsieur Foley. You are… how do you say… a magnifique chef.” He made a kissing sound as he put his fingers to his lips and pushed them away again.
“You’re lucky you’re cute,” I said, unimpressed.
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”
Emery laughed and pulled Cason into his arms, playfully biting his cheek. Cason grinned and bit him back. Next month would be a year since they’d started seeing each other. So much had changed within that time. I looked at Remi. Then again, sometimes it didn’t even take a year. Sometimes… love found you unexpectedly, changing everything in the blink of an eye.
Sometimes all it took was a simple meeting of gazes from across a dimly lit bar.
Later that evening, once Emery and Cason left, Remi and I sat in the living room cuddling on the couch. The TV was turned to the Syfy channel, but neither of us were paying much attention.
“I like them,” he said with a warm smile. “Cason cracks me up. He reminds me of some of my students. He’s smart too. It was nice hearing him talk about his college classes with so much passion in his eyes, even if my knowledge of the criminal justice system is limited to watching reruns of Law and Order: SVU.”
“Are you going to leave me for a nineteen-year-old now?”
Remi slapped my chest. “You couldn’t get rid of me even if you wanted to.”
“Good. Because I don’t want to.”
He peered up at me from his spot on my shoulder, and I admired the spot of brown in his left iris. It wasn’t just his eyes that made him unique. It was everything about him. Mostly, how he made me feel. For the first time in my life, I was with a man whose needs came above my own. I wanted to please him in every way possible.
“Uh-oh,” Remi said as his beautiful lips began to curve. “You have that look on your face.”
“What look?”
“The one you give me right before you—” His words were cut off as I slammed my mouth against his, moving my hand to cup the back of his head. We kissed for seconds, minutes, and then he pulled away with a breathy gasp. “Before you do that.”
“There’s more where that came from.”
“Yeah? Prove it.”
“Is that a challenge, Mr. Barnett?”
“Most definitely.”
I’d never been good at turning down a challenge, especially when the reward was so damn sweet. Standing from the couch with his hand in mine, I led him down the hall toward my room, closing the door once we were inside. Nothing ruined the moment more than being in the midst of a great fuck just to look over and see two narrowed eyes sunken into a furry face watching you.
Remi tugged off my shirt, and I unbuttoned his vest and took it off him. We made fast work of getting each other naked, and then I was on top of him on the bed, kissing his lips, down his neck, and sucking on his collarbone. Each gasp from him pushed me forward.
After retrieving the lube from the drawer, I worked Remi with my fingers—and my tongue. He begged me to go deeper, to stretch him wider. I obeyed, adding a third finger as I kissed his inner thigh.
“Get back up here,” he said, grazing a finger down my face and tracing my bottom lip.
I kissed him once I moved back up. He gripped my hip and tugged me forward, causing our cocks to slide together. When he reached between us and stroked my shaft, I hung my head on his chest and gently bit his nipple. I grabbed a condom and slicked it before positioning myself between his legs.
“I want us to get tested,” I said, staring down at him, my tip at his opening but not entering just yet. “I want to feel you skin to skin. I’m tired of this damn barrier between us.”
I was regularly tested and my results had come back negative, and Remi had been the only person I’d been with since January. I knew fucking bareback involved a lot of trust, though. You had to trust that the other person was staying exclusive to you and not fucking around with other people.
With my reputation, would Remi trust me?
Remi’s brow pulled together, and I could see his mind at work, mulling over my words. And their meaning. Then, his face softened. “Is that your way of asking me to be your boyfriend, Jay Foley?”
I returned his smile. “I guess it is. I want you to have exclusive rights to my cock, darlin’.”
My cock… and my heart.
“That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”
I breathed out a laugh and kissed him before sinking into his tight heat. He sighed against my lips and hooked an arm behind my head, as if keeping me from going anywhere. But there was nowhere else I wanted to be.
Chapter 22
Remi
“Dale’s getting married.” I turned the wedding invitation around, seeing a picture of my dad with his bride-to-be. A very young bride-to-be. She had long blonde hair, big boobs, obvious lip injections, and a fake tan. Everything about her seemed fake. Which made her perfect for my dad.
“Let me see,” Jay said, grabbing the invitation. “You don’t look like your dad.”
“Funny you say that. People used to say I looked just like him.”
“Nah, it’s in your eyes,” he said, pointing to the photo. “Yours are warm and kind, and his are cold and distant. An expression can change a person’s whole face. Are you goin’ to attend?”
“It’s in California.” I tossed the invitation on the table in my kitchen. “But even if it was five minutes away, I still wouldn’t go. Our relationship is toxic. I don’t know why he even invited me to his wedding.”
“Because you’re his son. Maybe it’s his way of trying to make amends.”
“Not everyone has a close family like you, Jay. Dale is putting on a show. It’s what he does. Did you notice the invitation didn’t include a plus-one? Because he knows I’d bring you, and his son being out and proud is a hit he doesn’t want to take to his bullshit reputation.”
I had told my dad about Jay a week ago when he called asking for my mailing address. It had just kind of rushed out. After getting my address, he’d started grilling me again about doing something important with my life, and I had blurted out that I was the happiest I’d ever been with a career I enjoyed and a boyfriend I loved.
“Do you want to burn it?” Jay asked with a silly grin. “We can light the sucker up and send the ashes blowin’ into the wind.”
“Are you a pyromaniac? Is this some new thing I’m about to learn about you?”
“The only thing I plan to set on fire is your heart.”
“Sounds painful.”
Jay chuckled and stood from the table to go check the lasagna in the oven. He’d come over to my apartment that Thursday with an armful of groceries. Jay Foley never did anything the easy way. He’d bought the ingredients to make lasagna from scratch.
“I don’t do that frozen shit,” he had said before helping himself to my kitchen.
I liked how comfortable he was in my space.
“I got my results back today.” He used an oven mitt to take the pan from the oven and set it on top of the stove to cool. Blond bangs fell into his eyes as he glanced over at me, and the smirk he sent my way made my heart skip a beat. “I’m good to go.”
We had gone down to the clinic the day after he suggested it and gotten tested. I’d gotten my results the day before and was in the clear too.
“Ah. I see.” I stood up and closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around his neck. “So this is celebration lasagna.”
“You caught me.” His green eyes twinkled. “I’ve never fucked bareback. It’ll be like losing my virginity all over again.”
I snorted. “Not quite. But I get your meaning. I’ve never done it without a condom either.”
“Even in past relationships?” he asked with a tilt of his brow.
“I never trusted them enough.”
“But you trust me.”
“Yes.” Staring into his eyes
, I had no doubt in my mind. Jay and I’d had our ups and downs over the months, but I was thankful for the place we’d ended up. And we still had so much more to explore together. So many quirks to learn about each other. Which reminded me. “I still haven’t seen you tie a cherry knot with your tongue.”
“Remind me to show you next time we’re at my place.” His hands traveled up my thighs and to my waist where he slid them under my shirt. “I have a stash of cherries in my fridge. Saved for special occasions of course.”
“Like seducing your boyfriend?”
“God, I never thought I’d love hearing that.” Jay nuzzled my neck, breathing in deep before exhaling. “Say it again.”
“You remind me of the hyenas from The Lion King saying Mufasa.”
Jay clutched his chest. “What a way to bring up a childhood trauma. I’ll never get over Mufasa’s death. You owe me a blowjob for that.”
“I’ll give you all the blowjobs you want,” I murmured against his lips before kissing them.
I grabbed a spatula from the drawer before loading up our plates with lasagna and carrying it to the table. Jay poured us each a glass of water and followed behind me.
“The defendant agreed to the plea bargain,” Jay said over dinner. “I had to discuss the terms with Garrett and Michael, the head prosecutor, but we were able to draft an agreement we were satisfied with. She’ll still serve some time, but it’s a hell of a lot less than what she would’ve been sentenced had she been found guilty at trial.”
“That’s good, right? Her agreeing to the deal? You won’t have to go through another trial.”
“Thank god for that.” Jay bumped his glass to mine before taking a drink. “The guys at the police station aren’t too happy, but shit happens.”
“This is amazing by the way,” I said, nodding to the lasagna. He’d crafted a perfect blend of cheese, pasta, and sauce. “I’ve always eaten anything, not really picky, but if you keep cooking for me, I’ll turn into a food snob.”
“Just wait ’til you try my mom’s cooking.” The smile had barely left his face all afternoon. “She’s so excited about Saturday.”
“So am I.” Meeting his family was a huge step. One I was more than ready to take.
The spring concert with the band and choir was at noon on Saturday, and afterward, I was going over to Jay’s parents’ house to meet everyone. Officially as his boyfriend. I was excited but nervous too.
What if his parents didn’t like me?
“Stop fretting.” He reached to poke the center of my forehead. “You’re just like Emery. You wear your emotions so plainly on your face. They will love you. Mom nearly deafened me in one ear when I called to tell her. She screamed so loud and started gushing about what she was going to cook.” He laughed and dropped his gaze to his half-empty plate. “She’s wanted me to find someone for years.”
I placed my hand over his on the table, and those beautiful emerald eyes lifted back up. “I can’t wait to meet them.”
After dinner, we left the dishes for later and sat on the couch to let our food settle and watch some TV. Jay had his arm behind my head, one leg propped up on my coffee table. He was still wearing his suit, minus the jacket. He’d done it on purpose. He usually changed into something casual before we hung out, but he knew I had a thing about him in one. All part of his masterplan to get laid, I was sure.
As we watched the evening news, I smoothed my hand across his stomach and held on to him. He kissed the top of my head. God, it was so normal. So right.
The meteorologist predicted a warm-up for the upcoming week, and then the news anchor talked about more construction work on the interstate that might impact the morning commute to work. I zoned out after that. All I focused on was Jay’s hand as it slid from my shoulder down to my waist. His fingertips glided along the bottom of my stomach where my shirt had ridden up.
His lips pressed to my hair again, then moved to my temple. His hand slid farther up my shirt.
“Where are you goin’?” he asked when I stood from the couch.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. He smirked when I walked backward, taking him with me down the hall, our eyes locked.
There were moments when words were needed. Then there were times when actions spoke louder. And I wanted my actions to say that I loved him with every piece of my heart—a heart that had been stomped on in the past, yet he’d picked it up, dusted it off, and placed it back in my chest, not new but bandaged and healing more as each day passed.
Unlike most other times when we’d been intimate, we didn’t rush. Jay laid me on the bed and kissed me slowly, deeply. His hand found mine, and our fingers linked. Clothes were shed and our naked bodies pressed together as his lips found mine once more.
“Ty krasivyy,” he whispered.
“I love when you speak Russian to me.” I ran a finger from the edge of his eye down to his lips. “What did you say?”
“You are so beautiful.”
“For someone who’s new to romance, you sure are amazing at it.”
“I’m learning.” Jay smiled and moved down my body, placing light kisses to my chest and stomach on his way down. He teased me with his lubed finger, circling my pucker before pressing just the tip inside. As he added a second, he murmured against my thigh before gently nibbling it.
Jay excelled in sexual stimulation. He knew all my weak points, every sensitive area that sent my blood racing south. My cock was cushioned in his mouth, and he massaged my prostate. Just when I was about to come undone, he withdrew his fingers and crawled back up my body. I swiped a hand through his blond hair and tugged on the strands, tilting his head back so I could rise up and kiss his throat.
The lid on the lube creaked as he popped it open and squirted some in his palm. He glided his hand along his shaft, slicking it. Goose bumps sprouted on my arms and shot down to my legs as he lay back over me.
“I can’t wait to feel you,” he said before sucking on my earlobe and slowly easing into me. I clawed the sheet beneath me with one hand and slapped the other to his ass, pulling him deeper. Jay softly hissed before biting my shoulder. “So damn good.”
Even when my body no longer fought him, he still went slow, as if savoring the moment. Good. Because I wanted to savor it too. I’d never felt more exposed, more vulnerable, than when having him rock into me with nothing separating us. I’d also never felt more at peace, like I’d been traveling for years and had finally come home.
“Jay,” I said on a moan as he hit my sweet spot.
“Right there, darlin’?”
I nodded and swallowed hard. My heart had jumped up into my throat. The moment wasn’t only physical. It was emotional too. Jay and I had fucked so many times… but this was the first time I’d ever felt like we were making love.
Jay’s lips slanted over mine before he pushed his tongue into my mouth, his hips rolling into me. My damn eyes nearly rolled back into my head. Pressure built inside me before it came spilling out. I clawed his back and groaned as white-hot pleasure shot through me. My ass clamped down on him, and he faltered a little in his rhythm. I sensed when he was getting close. His thrusts quickened and his breathing was rough.
“I love you,” Jay said, knotting his fingers in my hair and resting his cheek on mine. His orgasm rocked through him right after that, leaving him a sweaty, panting mess. He trembled as the last waves of release rescinded. Then he kissed right below my eye. “You’re crying.”
I hadn’t realized until he brushed his lips across the wet streak. I held on to him and pressed my face to his neck. “You said you love me.”
“I do.” His cock slipped from me, and he rolled to his side and pulled me against him. “I love you so much it scares me, Remi. I can’t imagine my life without you now.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” More tears fell and I captured his lips. His mouth quivered on mine. Then I laid my head on his shoulder. “I love you too.”
His arms tightened around me. �
�I told you before that I only top. Now that you know about Andrew, you can probably guess why. I…” He wet his lips. “I don’t know if I want to bottom again. Don’t know if I can. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just—”
I put a finger to his lips. “You don’t have to explain, Jay. Honestly, I don’t like to top. If you never feel comfortable enough to bottom again, that’s fine with me.”
“You’re incredible. Have I told you that?”
I smiled. “Maybe once or twice.”
Together, we’d learned how to not only trust again… but to love again as well.
Jay was gone when I woke in the morning, but he’d left a handwritten note on his pillow. Groggy and still trying to wake up, I grabbed the piece of paper.
Morning, handsome
Sorry I left before you woke. I didn’t intend to sleep over and needed to go home to shower and change. I made a pot of coffee for you before I left. Have a great day at work. I love you.
Your bastard,
Jay
My heart nearly exploded. Was it possible to truly be so happy? I got out of bed, showered, and dressed before going into the kitchen and finding a fresh pot of coffee and my favorite mug set beside it. Such a small thing meant the world to me. It showed how much he really cared.
I texted him. Thanks for the coffee.
You’re welcome. I know how grumpy you are without it, he replied.
I laughed and poured a cup before sitting at the table and sipping it. He knew me so well. Then I sent another message. Give Sput a kiss for me before you go to work.
Give him one yourself when you come over later.
I grinned. I’m coming over? That’s news to me.
He sent back a winking emoji.
“Cocky bastard,” I muttered before taking another sip.
I wouldn’t want him any other way.
Chapter 23
Jay
The school gymnasium was packed. The concert started in ten minutes, and people were still coming up the stairs and taking their seats. The chairs for the members of the band were situated facing the audience, and the podium where Remi would stand faced away.
His Surrender Page 24