Honey Flavored Tears

by Love N. Joy

  My body was drenched with sweat but he didn’t care. He traced his tongue up and down my body as if he was trying to find my orgasm physically. Moans escaped my mouth as he entered himself inside of me with force, but passion. He held me like he wanted no one else to have me and began thrusting and pounding my pussy with a medium pace. I dug my nails into his skin so deeply, and wrapped my legs around his back wanting him to go deeper. This feeling was too good to let go of. Once he found my spot he kept going nonstop, my heart felt like it was about to burst and my eyes grew wide as I felt myself about to explode on his dick…

  I woke up drenched in sweat with my panties feeling damp. I looked around me and realized I was still at my apartment, hanging halfway off the couch. It was 11:00 at night and I knew I couldn’t go to sleep after that dream. Pierre was right, my mind was still focused on Quincy. I wouldn’t allow myself to get over him, we had been through so much and I just couldn’t throw it away. I knew there was only one way I could help myself to get over him and this dream and that was to call HIM. I reached over and grabbed my cell phone quickly dialing out his digits, hating that I had to put myself through this but it was the only way I could help myself to get through. “Hello,” his deep voice said into the phone. I wasn’t expecting him to be up, it’s like he was waiting for my call the way he picked up so fast. I was hesitant for a minute to even say anything on the phone.

  “Hello,” he said again, I could hear the irritation in his voice this time. I cleared my throat and said, “H—hey how are you?”

  There was a pause on the other end. I could almost hear him crack a smile like he knew he had me where he wanted me again but it wasn’t that type of party. “It’s been quite some time…what made you decide to call me?” He asked in a cocky tone.

  “I need to see you,” I said getting straight to the point.

  “Come through then.”

  I hung up the phone while continuously calling myself stupid but I didn’t care I needed this. I crept over to Pierre’s room to see if he was even here and to my surprise he was knocked out in his bedroom. I shook my head and grinned. I guess all that partying he be doing is finally catching up to him. “Goodnight Pierre,” I whispered as I quietly closed his door.

  I gathered up my belongings and left the apartment quickly.

  I did 80 on the freeway just to get to him. It’s crazy that someone who I want nothing to do with still has this control over me. Ten minutes later I was pulling up in downtown Detroit to his apartments.

  I texted him saying I was outside. A couple of seconds later he buzzed me in. I walked up to the third floor and the closer I got to his door my heart pounded against my chest, probably telling me to get the hell out of there, but I didn’t listen. I knocked on his door three times and as he opened the door, I felt like fainting. He stood there naked waiting for me like I thought he would.

  “What’s up beautiful…I knew you couldn’t stay away too long,” he said.

  “Yeah I know Isaiah,” was all I could say. I didn’t want to tell him too much to geek his head up. I just wanted to get what I wanted from him then leave.

  “Come on in,” he said as he moved out of the doorway. I bit my bottom lip and walked in realizing I came all this way no need to regret it.

  If Pierre knew I was over here he would kill me. Isaiah was bad news. Before I met Quincy, Isaiah came along and I thought he was my prince charming but I must’ve bumped my head and forgot life is not a fairytale. We had that love hate relationship, one where he became obsessed with me and he didn’t want anyone else to have me. Every time I looked up he was around. I was scared of him but I didn’t leave because I felt like this is what I deserved; someone who loved me more than I loved them. Yeah I must admit it seems like a good feeling at first but it isn’t a good feeling period. I can admit Isaiah never cheated on me, half the time he was too busy threatening and choking me up just for thinking that I was cheating. I had to get out, took me a year and three months to leave. I had to change my number, get my grandmother’s number changed as well even move to a new city. Seeing that I had to go through all of this…didn’t even seem to faze me because here I am making love to him, putting all of my energy into it. It’s like I needed for that dream to come true and I wanted it to be Quincy that I was doing this with but you can’t get everything you want in life.

  After it was all over, he kept kissing me and telling me how much he missed me. I waited and waited until he was in a deep sleep then snuck out slowly. Once I got on the other side of his apartment door I ran for my life. I didn’t even have time to get fully dressed but I didn’t care, my life was more important than someone seeing me run in my panties and bra back to my 02 royal blue Sebring.

  I sped away from his house and felt a relief once I got back on the freeway. It wasn’t even five minutes later before he was blowing my phone up. I was scared to pick it up but I knew if I didn’t answer he would continue to call for the rest of the night.

  “H—h-hello,” I said.

  “So you thought you could use me and get away that easily,” he said into the phone. I could tell he was pissed off. I looked around and behind me just to see if he was following me but there was no car in sight, just mine and a car three feet ahead of me.

  “Understand Isaiah we can’t go back to the way we use to be,” I said with confidence in my tone but my body was shaking all over.

  “No listen you understand, I don’t come second to anyone. So whoever you running back home to you let them know they can’t put it down like I can. And trust me Jai, you will be back….you always come back,” he said. I looked at the phone with disgust, wondering why I ever feared this man. He was just a dog and when you show a dog fear they continue to try to keep you under their paws. I couldn’t let that happen.

  “Whatever Isaiah, just know I am my own person, you don’t own me or my body. Get that through your head. I’m the one in control from now on.”

  With that being said I hung up the phone and tossed it onto the passenger’s seat. Tomorrow morning I’m going straight to the Verizon store tomorrow to have them change my number once again.

  

  The very next day around ten in the morning I went up to the Verizon store around the corner from me to change my number. I could not allow Isaiah to come back in and ruin my life again. “Hey Elijah,” I said to the supervisor of the store. I loved coming to this store all the time, they made me feel like I was their only customer and that they wanted to make sure my needs were met. I know that’s probably their customer policy for every customer but they are so good at their job, especially Elijah. I made sure that every time I came to this store he was my commissioner.

  “Hey Jai, how are you today?” Elijah said greeting me with his smile showing off his gap.

  “I’m good,” I replied as I got up to the counter.

  “What can I do for you today?” He asked.

  “I um need to change my number.”

  “Again?” Elijah asked while laughing. “This is like the third time.”

  “I know,” I said shaking my head feeling somewhat embarrassed. I’ve changed my number twice in the past two months. “Let’s just make this the last time.”

  “Alright do you want the same area code?”

  “Yes please,” I responded.

  “Okay and would you like to pay for that charge now are would you like us to add it to your next bill?”

  “I can pay it now.”

  “Okay.” Elijah went to handling changing my phone number while I just looked around. “So how did the dinner thing go with that girl you’re trying to pursue?” I asked.

  “It was nice, ended kind of quick. She had an emergency. To be honest I’m not sure if she’s really feeling me but only time will tell

  “Look every female in my opinion; we have a guard up when a new guy comes around. We don’t let that guard down so easily because if we do it shows we didn’t learn from our p
ast mistakes,” I explained. Elijah took in what I said for a minute then said, “You know I never thought of it like that.”

  “Yeah, see it’s not that she’s not into you, she’s just still trying to feel you out. See if she can really trust you.”

  “Thanks for that insight. Oh and you’re all set,” he said.

  “Thank you,” I replied.

  “You’re welcome, is there anything else you would like me to do for you today?”

  “No that’s about it.”

  “Alright, you have a wonderful day.

  “You too, and remember what I told you.”

  “Alright I will,” he responded.

  Right then and there when I turned around it felt like hell was staring me in the face, my heart stopped as I saw him come through the door. He stopped dead in his tracks as he noticed me standing there as well.

  “Jai?” He asked with a little smirk upon his face, seems like he was more relieved to see me than I was to see him. I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes. “Quincy what are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I work at this store now,” he replied.

  “Since when?” I asked disgusted at this point.

  “Since last week. I’ve been trying to call you so I can tell you.”

  What makes you think I care about what goes on in your life anymore? I thought to myself knowing honestly I did still care, but I have too much pride to let him know that.

  “Well don’t bother calling anymore, I just got my number changed,” I said as I began walking past him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards him. “Come on now Jai, I know you not still mad at me.” I threw him an are you fucking serious look back. “I mean is there any way I can fix it. I miss you,” he said sincerely, not giving a damn that his life drama was being exposed in the middle of his job.

  I shook my head and said, “Just quit trying to fix things Q, you always tend to fuck things up when you do.” With that being said I snatched away from him and stormed out of the store without looking back. Not looking back was easier than holding my tears in though.

  Chapter 3

  Author’s P.O.V.

  Later on that night, Quincy came walking into his one bedroom apartment tired as ever after working overtime at the store. He wasn’t complaining though, the extra money was helping to pay the rent.

  “Hey baby,” he heard Zariah’s sweet and soft yet seductive tone of voice say as she walked into the living room to greet him with a kiss at the door. “Hey babe,” he said back as he kissed her on the forehead.

  “How was your day?” She asked looking up at him with her big doe eyes.

  “It was tiring but worth it.”

  “And how is it now?” she asked.

  “Better now that I’ve laid eyes on you,” he replied.

  “Just what I wanted to hear,” she said as she planted another kiss upon his lips.

  “How was your day?” He asked as he walked over to the bedroom to get undressed.

  “It was quite interesting,” Zariah said, as the incident that happened earlier was flowing back to her mind as a fresh thought.

  “What at your job?” Quincy asked.

  “No being a waitress at Applebee’s can’t get more interesting than it already is,” she replied.

  “So what was so interesting about your day?”

  “Do you really want to know?” Zariah said as she walked into the bedroom where he was at now.

  “Yeah I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”

  Zariah rolled her eyes, irritated with his sarcastic remarks. “Anyways, well today you and I pulled a ‘Brown Sugar’ moment,” she said.

  “What are you talking about?” Quincy asked as he plopped down on the bed looking at Zariah so clueless.

  “We accidently switched phones today,” Zariah said shocked that he didn’t notice what she meant by the Brown Sugar incident seeing that it was their favorite movie.

  “Uh we didn’t switch anything today. I was in a hurry so I left my phone here.”

  “Hmmm well I grabbed yours though.”

  “Oh is that what was so interesting?” He asked in his regular nonchalant tone something that always irritated Zariah but as usual she let it slide.

  “What’s so interesting is that I didn’t recognize I had your phone until this message came through.” Zariah pulled out his BlackBerry and begin reading the message. “Quincy leave me alone, you made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me after our last encounter. Do you because I’ve already moved on…from Jaidyn.”

  “Oh wow,” Quincy said rolling his eyes, knowing exactly where this conversation was about to head…straight into an argument.

  “So what was that all about?” Zariah asked with her hands on her hip looking pissed off to the max at this point.

  “Look it’s nothing like that Zariah, I just wanted to call her and tell her that they moved me to a new store.”

  “Hmmm from this text it’s seems like you’ve been blowing her phone up more than once so don’t lie to me Q.”

  “You know what believe what you want then. You ain’t even got to worry about me talking to her no more anyway she got a new number today.”

  “Oh and how did you know that?” Zariah asked with her eyes almost popping out their sockets at this point.

  “I ran into her at the store today and she told me so that’s the end of that.”

  Zariah chuckled and shook her head. “You know you sound like you’re disappointed by that,” she said.

  Quincy looked at her, irritated now. “You are something else. It’s like you find little shit to sabotage what we got going on so you won’t have to feel guilty for all the shit you did in the past.

  Zariah sighed deeply and said, “Q, don’t try to flip the script on me.”

  “Whatever,” he said turning over in the bed now.

  “Yeah whatever you better stay away from her or else you gone regret it,” Zariah said as she walked out the room.

  “Is that a threat?” Quincy yelled out.

  “No it’s a promise.”

  “Yeah whatever, did you get any other messages after that?”

  “FUCK YOU QUINCY!!!” She yelled back out causing him to laugh so hard. That’s what she became to him over the years a joke, he loved her but at times it was hard to take her serious.

  

  Quincy laid there in his bed relaxed listening to “Hypothetically” by Lyfe Jennings and Fantasia on repeat. His mind was racing with many thoughts right now. His heart was in two places and he didn’t know what to do. Sometimes he wished he would’ve never told Jaidyn that he still had feelings for Zariah if he knew it was going to result in them not talking anymore. Sometimes he wished he would’ve just kept dating both of them to see down the line which one he would eliminate and which one he would keep around. But Quincy wasn’t the type to date two girls at the same time, his heart was usually committed to one woman but this time his heart was on the trip mode; and he was wishing that he could get it together soon.

  Time and time again, he found himself tripping over the question which one was right for him, trying his hardest to find the answer to it. They both had qualities that turned him on. For example there was Jaidyn with this thick 5’0” frame with a golden brown complexion and some sexy ass almond shaped honey brown eyes. Her smile made a nigga want to vacation in it and her personality was like Tasha Mack off the BET show “The Game” mixed with a sweet angelic side. She was confident in everything she did, but she was the type that would never let Quincy slide on his bullshit. He always had to be on his A1 game when he was around her. Then there was Zariah who was 5’7” with a petite frame, chocolate brown complexion with those innocent Doe eyes. But Zariah was far from innocent and unlike Jaidyn, Zariah lacked confidence in her self-image to be so beautiful. Plenty of times Zariah questioned if Quincy was cheating when he was really being faithful. Her unanswered questions
resulted in her cheating on him just to make herself feel better. Men who were in their right mind would’ve been got up and left but it was something about Zariah that made Quincy stay around…maybe it was the innocence in her eyes that convinced him she wasn’t doing anything at all.

  

  “I don’t know what to do,” Zariah said as tears streamed down her face. “Girl I’ll tell you what you should do,” Yolanda, her cousin, said as she came and sat down next to her on her bed. “Okay, I’m all ears,” Zariah said being just like a girl who allowed hearsay to flow through her ears being one of the factors to ruin a relationship.

  “You need to trap his ass tell him that you are having his baby, trust me he will stay around for sure.”

  Zariah sucked her teeth. “You’re trying to make me get rid of him real easy. Just because a girl is pregnant with a man’s baby doesn’t make him obligated to be a father. Plus a baby doesn’t put an end to my trust issues with him.”