Texas Dad (Fatherhood)

by Roz Denny Fox

  “True,” Mack agreed. “And I shouldn’t pass judgment even though your mother was never a fan of me. I didn’t know either of your folks that well.”

  “She didn’t like you because you were in my corner and didn’t bend over backward for her.”

  Back then, things had been especially volatile between her and her mother. In fact, J.J. had met Mack the very day she’d learned Rex wasn’t her real dad. It came to light when she was signing up for classes. Rex had gotten her a special reduced tuition rate afforded to children of employees, but on the form he noted that he’d never adopted her. Terribly upset, she had confronted her mom, who confessed J.J.’s biological dad had been an alcoholic who had died a few years before in prison where he was serving time for negligent homicide. J.J. felt duped—deceived—despite the fact that Rex had been a good father. They had lied to her. Bonnie refused to admit she’d done anything wrong. J.J. went crying back to college and met Mack in the parking lot. He heard her sobbing her heart out and came to see if she needed rescuing.

  Four years later he betrayed her with Faith. That betrayal drilled the same kind of hole in her heart as her mother’s lie had. Returning to Lubbock now with Mack, preparing to visit her mom, sent J.J. cartwheeling back into dark reflections of those painful times. Very probably Mack knew, because he shifted his eyes away from her, and even adjusted the rearview mirror.

  They reached the clinic, where Erma’s doctor and radiologist both practiced. “I’ll go in with Erma and see what’s what. Are you two okay waiting out here?” Mack asked J.J. and Zoey.

  “I’m good,” Zoey said. “But I can’t wait to go to the mall.”

  “Don’t get too anxious. It’ll be this afternoon, and only then if Erma feels up to sitting around in the food court with me while you and Jill visit a couple of stores.”

  “A couple?” Zoey unfastened her seat belt and slid to the edge of her seat. “Daddy, shopping can’t be rushed. Can’t you leave us at the mall and you guys go do something else?”

  “Like what?” Mack asked. “We came to Lubbock today for Erma’s appointments. Depending on if they hurt her too much with their poking and prodding, she may want to go straight home.”

  Zoey flopped back in her seat. “Then can J.J. bring me here again before she goes back to New York? Maybe Brandy can come, too.” Leaning forward, she looked more hopeful.

  Her dad, who’d taken Erma’s wheelchair out of the pickup bed, spoke to Zoey this time through Erma’s open door. “By the way, last night Benny confirmed that his cousin Sonja will arrive today. I thought maybe tomorrow I’d take Jill and ride out to the summer pasture. It is why she’s here, Zoey.”

  “Bro...ther!” Zoey slumped again.

  “Mackenzie, you need to give them some time to shop,” Erma said as he helped her out of the truck. “I’ll take a pain pill if need be.”

  “Oh, right.” Mack huffed out a harsh breath. “We’ve all seen how fast those painkillers knock you out. How long does it take for Zoey to buy jeans and a few shirts?”

  Erma remained firm. “I’ll be fine. Haven’t you been listening? Zoey wants Jill to help her pick out something other than her usual clothes.” Erma said something else, but Mack shut the door, cutting off whatever she added.

  “You should have asked Dad for his keys, J.J. We could go to the mall right now. You heard him, right? He still expects me to dress like a cowboy.”

  “The mall doesn’t open until ten. Relax, Zoey. Why don’t you make a list of top priority items? I’m sure your dad will let you buy a nice skirt or two, and feminine tops. If we can carve out an hour and go straight to the departments on your list, I know we can choose a few nice pieces for your fall wardrobe. Remember, though, most of the stores will have just stocked their summery things.”

  “Oh, bummer. I want a jacket like yours, and a hat.”

  “It still helps to make a list, and even note colors to mix and match. That way you don’t get distracted by pretty things that won’t go with anything else in your wardrobe.”

  “Great idea! I’ve never done anything like that. Neither has Brandy, I bet, ’cause she gets her mom to take stuff back all the time. Oh, if only you could come back before school starts. Better yet, don’t go back to New York.”

  “You know that’s not possible, Zoey. But maybe we can keep in touch. If you have questions about clothes you can ask me.”

  The girl looked glum. “My dad’s strict about me using his computer. He’s a worrywart, afraid for what he hears about kids on social media. I at least want a cell phone. I doubt I’ll get one. Brandy thinks she’ll get one for her birthday. It’s before school starts. Maybe she’ll let me text you. Do you text?”

  J.J. nodded. “Here comes your dad. That didn’t take long.”

  He opened the driver’s door and stuck his head in. “Jill, can you program your cell number into my phone? I’ll leave it with Erma, then we can go. If we stop by your mom’s and then head to the mall, you and Zoey can get your shopping done. Erma will call you if she finishes early. The receptionist guessed it’ll be until twelve or twelve-thirty. If you two are shopped out by then we can pick Erma up and eat on the way out of town.”

  “Daddy, I love you, but I’ll never be shopped out.” Zoey’s laughter mingled with J.J.’s.

  “Wrong,” he said, taking his phone back from J.J. “If I give you cash instead of handing over my debit card I can curtail your time.”

  Zoey’s face fell.

  Grinning, Mack left after giving J.J. a conspiratorial wink that again made her heart squeeze. Her cell phone chimed and she almost dropped it. Startled, she answered without checking who was calling. “Hello?”

  Mack’s deep voice shook her further, but he only said, “Just checking to make sure Erma can reach you.”

  “You think I’d program in a phony number? Sheesh!” She hung up, and seconds later Mack came out of the building and strode to the pickup, whistling.

  “You two aren’t gonna make me chauffeur, are you?”

  “J.J., you sit up front.” Zoey nudged her.

  “Why me? It’s you who needs to butter him up for your trip to the mall.”

  “Jill, come on up here,” Mack said, revving the engine. “I need you to direct me to your mom’s new place.”

  She climbed out, buckled into Erma’s spot, then rattled off the directions.

  Mack said, “Whoa. Whoa. I don’t know the streets of Lubbock as well as you do.”

  “Sorry.” She spoke slower and gave specific streets. “This is it,” she said a short while later, directing Mack to park in an area marked for visitors. “Nine-twenty,” she murmured. “I hope we catch Mom before she’s off to Tai Chi or something.”

  “Sure you want us to tag along?” Mack swept a glance over the resortlike complex. “Should you call and warn her you’re barging in with other people?”

  Zoey had already jumped out and slammed her door. “You said we didn’t have to stay long, right?”

  “We’ll say hi, and ask if Mom wants to come with us to the mall. My mother is the queen of marathon shopping.”

  Mack locked the truck and followed Jill and Zoey down a walkway that led past an elaborate fountain. “Nice place,” he said.

  “It is. Mom’s unit is there between the rec center and across from one of the two pools.” She stopped in front of one of the many red-orange doors, took a deep breath and rapped soundly.

  They heard a chair scrape across the floor, then the door swung inward. J.J.’s mother peered out, put a hand to her chest and said Jill’s name twice, followed by, “Oh, my, I expected you to call before coming, dear. And who’s this?” Bonnie Walker frowned at the girl glued to J.J.’s shoulder.

  “Zoey Bannerman, Mackenzie’s daughter. You remember Mack?” J.J. asked, indicating the looming presence behind her.

 
Her mother had on a brightly colored caftan. Red painted toenails peeked out from open-toed sandals. Her blond hair was swept back behind an ear from which dangled a large, gold hoop earring that she twisted nervously. J.J. soon understood her mom’s agitation when a big, half-naked man stepped up behind Bonnie.

  “Hello,” he said, gesturing with a steaming coffee mug. “Did I hear Bonnie call you Jill? Nice to meet you.” To Bonnie, he said, “Should I give you all your privacy?” He placed the coffee in Bonnie’s hand and wrapped her other around the mug to hold it steady.

  Bonnie Walker’s mouth opened and closed, but it was J.J. who spoke. “We, uh, are headed to the mall to shop for Zoey, and thought you might like to join us.” She cleared her throat. “I did mention that I wanted to drop by today when I called you last night. I said we were bringing Erma Fairweather to see a doctor here.”

  Bonnie gave her daughter the stink eye. “I’m positive you never mentioned that your business trip had anything to do with getting back together with your old college flame.”

  J.J. scrubbed two fingers between furrowed eyebrows. “I probably didn’t tell you because you were always in a rush to get off the phone. Mack actually is the job. It’s too involved to go into now, but I’m photographing him at his ranch for the magazine. Listen, Zoey is anxious to get to the mall. I’m in La Mesa until Sunday. I’ll phone before I leave. Perhaps we can meet at the airport.” J.J. began backing away and stepped squarely on Mack’s boot.

  He steadied her. “Bonnie,” he said, giving a curt nod. “You don’t look a day older than when last we met... What was it? Some fourteen years ago?” He smiled at Bonnie’s gentleman friend, who stuck close to her. “Sorry, we didn’t catch your name,” Mack said, holding out a hand to shake.

  The man’s eyes twinkled. “Arne. Arne Biddle. I teach art at Tech and moonlight giving beginning painting classes to other seniors around the area. I bought a unit here in anticipation of retiring next year. Bonnie is my newest, most talented student.” He shook Mack’s hand before settling his palm with familiarity on the back of Bonnie’s slender neck. “I’m sure we’ll all meet again,” he said, dropping a lingering smile on J.J.’s mother and coaxing a loving one from her in return.

  “Sure,” was all J.J. said quickly, hustling Zoey away from the unit as she hurried back the way they’d come.

  “That was...awkward,” she ground out to Mack, who rushed to catch up with her.

  “Why didn’t we go in?” Zoey asked.

  “Jill’s mother already had company, and we only stopped to see if Bonnie wanted to join us at the mall,” he said smoothly. Unlocking his pickup he boosted Zoey in. But as J.J. headed to the passenger’s side, he took her arm and stopped her at the back of the pickup. “Are you okay?” he asked, gently brushing her hair away from her face.

  “Was that man parading around my mother’s condo in nothing but pajama bottoms?” Her query came out on a hissed breath.

  “They could have been surgical scrubs. Maybe that’s what he paints in.”

  “Right! You are so full of it, Bannerman.”

  “Your mother and Arne are well past the age of consent. What has you so upset?” He ran his hands from her shoulders to her wrists and gripped her hand.

  J.J. curled her fingers around his. “Rex has barely been dead six months. My mother claimed to be devastated. And now, now...” She broke off and tugged her fingers loose.

  “Your mother’s not like you, Jill. You used to say she needed a man to feel like her life was complete. And hasn’t she always been a lot about herself?”

  “Yes. Thank you for bringing this into perspective, Mack. I guess Arne seemed pleasant enough.”

  “Hey,” Zoey called, sticking her head out of the back door. “What’s taking you guys so long? Are we going to the mall or what?”

  Mack looked guilty and J.J. laughed. “Like I said, thanks. I should be ecstatic that Arne is gainfully employed. Mom’s never worked outside the home and this place costs more than Rex’s pension can cover. I subsidize her. If whatever’s going on with Arne works out, maybe I can—” She stopped abruptly, not wanting to let on to Mack that she wasn’t totally thrilled working for Her Own Woman. “Anyway, let’s go to the mall,” she said, scooting around Mack.

  He was slower to react, but Zoey’s second call spurred him to get in the truck.

  A short while later, outside a mall that didn’t appear too busy, Mack found a parking spot halfway between the two anchor department stores. “I’m going to go find some coffee. You ladies do your thing.” He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, took out his debit card and gave it to J.J. “Do you want me to write my pin number down?”

  She took the card but didn’t tuck it into her purse. “How much do you want Zoey to spend?”

  “Whatever it takes to get what she wants, which I gathered from Erma isn’t the usual jeans and shirts.” He looked to Zoey as if for clarification.

  J.J. frowned at him even though Zoey danced about saying, “Yay!”

  “Mack, you need to set her a dollar limit.” Ignoring his shrug and Zoey’s frantic attempts to silence her, J.J. said, “Setting an amount will make Zoey shop wiser, plus she’ll appreciate more the art of buying items on sale.”

  She paused while Mack reached around her and opened the mall door. He’d donned a light gray Stetson when he exited the truck, and he tipped it forward now, shadowing eyes similar in color to the felt brim. “I don’t know a thing about the price of women’s, er, girls’ clothes. I can quote the price of beef on the hoof, and can gauge futures so I know when to sell my herd for top dollar, but I leave buying Zoey’s clothes to Erma. She charges everything at the general store and I pay the bill. Frankly, I like it like that.”

  J.J. poked him in the chest with his debit card. “Forget escaping to drink coffee, mister. Erma admitted to me that she doesn’t know squat about what teenagers are wearing. As the single parent of a soon-to-be teen, you need to learn what’s good and what’s not.”

  Zoey heaved a sigh. “I bet he won’t like anything I want.”

  “Give your dad some credit. Besides, the man who pays needs to know what his money is buying. Not that I think you’d buy trashy stuff, Zoey. But it’s a parent’s job to have the final say.”

  Mack slapped his hat against his thigh, which made J.J. smile. She recognized it as a sign of nerves, something Mack did when he was out of his element.

  She tucked his debit card into the breast pocket of his Western-style shirt and dragged him over to the mall directory. She read off stores listed under women’s wear and finally tapped her finger on one.

  Zoey’s eyes lit up. “Brandy’s mom just bought her some clothes from there. Heather Reed, who says I dress like a boy, bragged since last year that her mom lets her and her sister buy skirts and tops there.”

  “Have you got your list? It’s a good place to start,” J.J. said.

  Mack groaned, but followed them. They entered a brightly lit store with blaring music and rounder after rounder of clothing. He shuddered. “This is torture, you know,” he said, bending close to J.J.’s ear. “If this is current music, I’m way out of touch.”

  Zoey, who’d been gazing around as if mesmerized, said, “This is a new group, Daddy. Brandy loves them, but I only like a few of their songs.”

  “Thank heaven,” Mack muttered.

  J.J. searched through a row of skirts. She pulled out a hanger and held it up to Zoey. “This is perfect for fall. It’ll look great with tights in all colors. You’ll want to match tights to whatever top you wear.”

  “If I had a gray jacket like yours, would it look good with this?”

  “I think so,” J.J. said. “I’m not seeing anything in wool. You may have to come back at the end of summer.”

  “Come back?” Mack stopped twirling his hat. “Do they have a catalog?”
>
  J.J. patted his chest. “You’re doing fine. We’ve been here ten whole minutes and you haven’t hyperventilated yet.”

  Mack followed the soft sway of Jill’s hips as she wove between racks and stopped to inspect an olive-green shirt with a black panther on the front that Zoey held up. The cat’s eyes glittered. Mack could tell she really wanted the shirt. And dang it, he wanted her to have it. Jill, though, didn’t automatically agree just because Zoey wore her heart on her sleeve. Jill read an inside label and made Zoey read it, too. She held the shirt up to Zoey and had her look in one of the store’s many mirrors. Jill draped it over a pair of shorts, insisting Zoey eye both critically. Finally, Jill went to a bin filled with socks, tights and leggings. Only after apparently finding a pair of tights that suited them did Jill add the top to Zoey’s pile of clothes to try on, and Mack slowly released the breath he’d been holding. He should be paying attention to Jill’s method, because he’d have bought Zoey anything her heart desired.

  He watched them repeat the process with a pair of black, skinny jeans and camouflage jacket they plucked from a sale rack. Still standing off to one side, Mack heard Zoey squeal in delight when she spotted a hanging fixture of hats. Cowboy hats were all Mack knew, but nary a cowboy hat sat among the startlingly large display. Zoey tried on several before choosing two. He straightened, trying to look alive when Jill directed Zoey to find him.

  “I want both of these, but J.J. said I only need one in black. I can’t decide between them. Which do you like best, Daddy?” She tried on one and did a pirouette, then the other.

  “They both look good,” Mack ventured. “I’m not used to seeing you wear any headgear but your straw cowboy hat.” He noticed Jill watching him expectantly. Damn, he didn’t want to fall short here. “The way you’re wearing your hair today, Zoey, I’d choose the corduroy one that resembles a golfer’s hat.”