Intense Pleasure

by Lora Leigh

  She wanted to look back one day and realize that she knew her own children that way, knew they were rowdy, independent, fun-loving, and compassionate. She wanted to know that when that day came, she wouldn’t be alone in that realization, or in her memories. She wanted to share them with the father of her children and know she wasn’t alone in the world or in the protection of her babies.

  The world wasn’t a kind place now, not that it had ever been, she knew, but children shouldn’t ever have to know that.

  She’d considered telling her momma that she wouldn’t be attending the parties, that she couldn’t possibly consider life with another man at this point, but as she held her cousin’s child, that desperate ache building inside her overrode the decision.

  It wouldn’t happen soon—that she knew. It would take a while to stop hurting with the ragged, sharp pain of losing someone she loved. She’d find a way though. She didn’t want to live her life alone. She didn’t want to be alone. And damn it, if they didn’t want to give her babies, then she would find someone who would.

  She might not marry—that part was harder to consider. Her baby would have uncles though, cousins, family. Her child wouldn’t lack love, she’d see to that.

  Just a father.

  As that thought went through her mind, the sound of the back door opening quietly had her fighting back tears that otherwise might have fallen.

  “There you are, you baby snatcher.” The amused accusation had her eyes opening as she blinked back the tears and stared up at her cousin with a mock glare.

  “You go have another one, and I’ll just keep this li’l bit,” Summer informed her. “You can have her back when she’s so completely spoiled she’s ruined.”

  Which would be just about never, Summer thought.

  “Well, that’s already happened.” Calista rolled her eyes in amusement. “I knew I should have never moved in with my parents while Luther’s overseas. They sneak her out of her crib and sleep with her between them. I swear, Luther’s gonna have a fit when he comes home on leave and learns his little girl can’t sleep in that crib he special made for her.”

  Summer could only shake her head at her cousin. “Calista, sweetie, Luther won’t let this little angel sleep outside his sight, I have news for you. She’ll be sleeping between her own parents then.”

  Relenting, she let the baby’s mother ease her into her own arms where she cuddled the sleeping infant against her breasts.

  “You need one of your own,” Calista pointed out. “As much as you love babies, Summer, you’d make a wonderful mother.”

  She wanted that. She’d always wanted to be a mother, she’d just always imagined a father in there somewhere. Fathers. For years, she realized, she’d imagined Raeg and Falcon as the fathers her children would have.

  “Just one?” Summer laughed. “I want a houseful. At least five and every one of them driving me crazy with their wild ways.”

  Calista’s eyes widened. “Lord help you, you’re as crazy as your momma,” her cousin informed her. “I want one more, maybe in a few years. I want time with this one first.” She laid a gentle kiss against Dawn’s downy head before grinning back at Summer. “Maybe you’ll find the love of your life at one of these parties. I know our mommas have invited every man they believe would suit you from three states. You could be married and ready to have one of your own before this time next year.”

  Not this time next year, but maybe, in a few years, she thought.

  “It might take a little longer than that,” she assured her cousin quietly. “But it won’t hurt to know my options, right?”

  Calista stared down at her somberly. “Are you okay, Summer? Are you reconsidering the parties? You’re not committed to choosin’ a husband at all if you don’t want to, you know that.”

  Summer nodded. “I know, Calista, but I am committed to getting my butt out of this chair since you stole that baby right out of my arms.”

  Rising from the chair, Summer looked at the baby fondly, hoping she’d get a chance to steal away with her again before Calista and her mother left.

  “Does Momma need help in the kitchen?” she asked, reaching out and opening the back door for the new mother.

  Calista snorted at the question. “Your momma needs her head examined, is what she needs. You will not believe what popped out her mouth about those bodyguards of yours. Do you know she’s quite convinced those two would just share your favors forever and ever amen?”

  Heat flooded her face. Geeze, her momma was determined to completely mortify her. Her mother’s habit of mentioning risqué things lately had to be Aunjenue’s fault, she decided. Her younger sister was just being a bad influence on their parents.

  “She’s getting weird in her old age,” Summer muttered. “Just ignore her.”

  “I don’t know,” Calista laughed. “I saw those hunky devils standing in the tree line together while we were on the porch and you were holdin’ Dawn earlier.” Wicked amusement filled her eyes. “Personally, I’m convinced your momma might be right.”

  “I’m convinced you’re both insane.”

  She was going to have to have a talk with her momma about these things. Later. God only knew what would pop out of her mouth if her daughter tried to lecture her about her impure thoughts. Summer was far too amused at that possible scenario.

  Her mother had a wicked sense of humor after all.

  Chapter

  THIRTEEN

  Falcon could feel the pure, raw fury gathering in his gut, threatening to explode and erupt in a way he’d never experienced in his life. Fists clenching, his muscles tightening painfully, it was all he could do to hold onto his control. He could feel the fiery tempter that went hand in hand with his Spanish nature threatening to overwhelm him.

  He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

  He couldn’t believe Summer would even consider such a thing. He knew she’d been dissatisfied with life, that she was searching for more than she’d had in the past, but he’d never imagined she’d consider marriage and children.

  She’d once said that if she wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, she’d put shoes on her cat. And she’d sounded incredibly serious at the time.

  Fuck.

  Turning on his heel he stalked back the way he’d come, returning to the office in the barn where Summer’s father and brothers were still going over security for both houses with Raeg.

  Of course, the male members of the Calhoun family knew exactly what the hell was going on, just as they knew about the damned parties Summer and her cousin were discussing. There was no way they could not know.

  This was why the guesthouses were being prepared, why Summer’s hairdresser was being flown in from New York. This was why his agents had such a hard time finding a fucking hotel room in town. Summer’s potential suitors were taking up all the rooms, no doubt.

  Damn her.

  Gripping the doorknob, he pushed open the door with a bit more force than he intended—okay, a lot more force. The panel crashed against the wall behind it.

  Raeg, Cal and his sons, the farm’s foreman, and one of the men who had served with Caleb in Special Forces all stared back at him in shock.

  “Falcon?” Raeg straightened from where he’d been leaning over the long table going over a map of the Calhoun property. “Is everything okay?”

  “What is it Summer says?” he snarled furiously. “Everything’s just peachy?”

  Cal’s brows lifted as Caleb glanced at his brother worriedly, wariness filling his expression.

  “Yeah well, it’s never a good thing when Summer says that either,” Raeg snorted. “So why are you so pissed?”

  His brother frowned back him as he crossed his arms over his chest, watching him warily.

  Falcon’s gaze turned to Summer’s father. “You couldn’t tell us about these parties beginning this weekend? Did you think we wouldn’t notice Summer preparing to leave? That we wouldn’t object to such exposure. Especially”—he sn
apped, his fury growing to the point that he only barely realized how the words were coming out, each sentence a different language, and he didn’t give a damn—“considering these fucking parties are no more than a venue to find a willing stud to father her children on. Have all of you lost your fucking minds?”

  “English, Falcon,” Raeg growled, though Falcon knew he understood every damned word of it. No matter how many different languages he used.

  “Oh, I understood him.” Cal’s smile was tight and hard as he leaned back in his chair, his dark blue gaze assessing. “Spanish, Italian, and I’m certain that was some near-perfect Hebrew,” he mused before turning to Raeg. “Your brother seems a mite upset, Raeg.”

  Falcon saw the darkening of his brother’s eyes as well as the flash of resignation, and he knew Raeg had no intentions of fighting this.

  “Parties are too dangerous right now, Cal,” Raeg said then, his tone a hell of a lot milder than Falcon’s was. “You know this is the wrong time for that kind of exposure.”

  Cal’s lips quirked, whether in mockery or acknowledgement Falcon wasn’t certain. “It had been too late to cancel them even back when you showed up to inform Caleb of the danger stalking Summer. These have been in the works for nearly six months, Raeg, and the women involved would have our heads if we even try to cancel them.”

  Raeg actually seemed to be considering the argument. How could he even consider such fucking insanity? Stepping forward, Falcon’s lips parted to tell the old bastard just what he thought of it when he caught the subtle warning in his brother’s sharp look.

  “Stand down, Falcon,” Raeg suggested mildly. “We’re just here to protect her. Remember?” He turned back to Cal and Summer’s brothers as they watched him broodingly now. “I’ll need a full briefing on the venues, guest lists, caterers, et cetera,” he told them. “If the parties begin Friday, then I’ll need all that immediately.”

  Caleb gave a mocking snort of amusement while his two brothers chuckled, obviously amused for some reason.

  “Summer has everything you need.” Cal shrugged. “She’s worked on every step of the parties with her momma and her aunts. Just ask her for whatever you need.”

  Summer had it all?

  This was what she spent so many hours doing on her tablet? Planning these parties to find a stud for her babies?

  “This is ridiculous,” Falcon snapped, pushing his fingers through his hair before glaring at all of them in amazement. “Since when does a woman such as Summer need to do such a thing to find a husband?”

  Since when had Summer decided she even wanted a husband, let alone children?

  “Since the woman is a highly trained agent capable of killing a man with a toothpick, and needs to meet men just as strong as she is,” Caleb informed both of them caustically. “She doesn’t want to leave the area to do that though and hasn’t been home during the social season enough to know the men available who would suit her temperament and her skill sets. That’s what the parties are for, to introduce her to the gene pool, so to speak.” He chuckled, obviously amused by his lack of wit.

  “Like hell—” Falcon began.

  “Falcon, enough already,” Raeg ordered, that cool, assessing expression the same one he used to face down senators and the DC elite he dealt with on a daily basis as Senator Davis Allen Hampstead’s chief of staff.

  “Invitations were sent out?” Raeg turned back to Cal.

  “Six months ago.” Cal nodded, lacing his fingers and propping his hands on his abdomen as he leaned back in his chair. “Everyone has sent in their RSVP and they’ve already begun arriving in town for Friday’s and Saturday night’s parties. A new crowd will begin arriving next week, then another group the week after that.”

  “You receive an invitation, Falcon?” Raeg asked.

  “I did not.” He glared at Cal now.

  The other man chuckled lightly. “Leasa did add you to the invitation list, but Summer marked your names off. Seems she didn’t want either of you to be invited for some reason.” He tipped his head to the side and watched them curiously. “Wonder why that was.”

  She had marked their names off the invitation list? Not that they could have been in the running as husbands, but still, to not invite them, period? Even worse, to not inform them now that they were there, sharing her bed?

  “I’m wondering why the two of you would even think you would get an invitation,” Brody interjected, his tone far too amused as he tucked his hands in the back pockets of his jeans and watched Falcon with smug satisfaction. “If either of you were considered husband and father material by her, then she would already know it, wouldn’t she?”

  Father material?

  Falcon felt a punch of reaction to his abdomen, the sharp sensation causing him to grit his teeth furiously. Because the bastard was right.

  But still, father material? The man who would give Summer a child, who would watch her carry that child, give birth and nurture it. The man that would forever mark her heart and soul in the most intimate of ways?

  There was no sex act, no touch that could ever mark a woman as a man marked the mother of his children. That bond was one that was never broken, no matter the circumstances. His body would forever be a part of that woman’s for his child having rested inside her.

  And another man would give her those children.

  He cursed.

  First in Spanish, then as his anger only grew, in all five languages he knew with a fluency usually reserved for the natives of those lands.

  Turning, he stalked from the office, slammed the door closed, and fought the need to go straight to her parents’ home and drag her back to her own. As he neared the exit to the barn he found himself ramming his fist into the wall with enough force that the resulting crack echoed through the barn.

  “Dammit, Falcon…” Raeg cursed.

  He ignored his brother.

  Teeth clenched, brutal fury ripping through him, he strode quickly from the barn and headed for Summer’s home. It was peaceful there. Her presence filled it even when she wasn’t there, the scent of her infusing the house, washing over a man with a subtle warmth he wasn’t aware of at first.

  And she would choose another man to share that home with? To share her bed with?

  Because he and Raeg were not worthy … because they could not stay and share that life, those children she so wanted, and the peace she filled her home with. Because they had no choice but to walk away when this was over, and they all knew it.

  She had somehow known it even before she had left DC.

  Summer would have never done something so outrageous unless she had resigned herself to being unable to love any man she might marry in the future. She wouldn’t meet so many men believing in love at first sight. No, Summer had known her connection to him and Raeg was too deep, no matter her battles with his brother. She had known that finding a man to share her life with, to be the father of her children, wouldn’t be an emotional choice.

  They had already lost her even before she left DC, he realized as he stepped into the home she had created for herself and closed the door silently.

  This was the legacy he and Raeg shared, he thought wearily. A legacy of always being alone, of always fearing that what they would love the most would be taken from them. Because of their father’s overpowering love for two women he had endangered, he refused to trust his sons to keep the secret of their location and their new identities. And because of that lack of trust, he would murder any woman his sons claimed if he considered her a threat. Especially a woman who had been part of the CIA.

  This was their legacy, he thought, staring around the sun-dappled rooms and knowing the day would soon come when he and Raeg would be forced to walk away.

  “I will never forgive any of you,” he whispered bleakly, thinking of his mother, of Raeg’s mother, and of the father who always seemed to be watching no matter the safeguards they used. “Do you hear me?” he snarled into the silence. “I did not hate until this moment. I could
have forgiven…” He would have forgiven, if that was what it took to have a chance at a future, at a family that he and his brother could share.

  He shook his head at the thought. There could be no forgiveness for this, for the loss of the woman Falcon was realizing owned so much of his spirit.

  He would never completely leave her. He could never do so. His heart would always linger with her, it would never desert the woman who had given him so much in the past two years.

  Wiping his hands over his face he stalked to the bar, pulled free the decanter of whisky, and poured one of the short glasses nearly full before taking a healthy drink of the fiery liquid.

  “Summer-shine,” he said on a heavy breath, that bleak, burning bitterness that always lurked in the darkest corners of his mind encroaching closer now. “How I wish…”

  But wishing was futile, he told himself, taking another drink and making his way upstairs to the room Summer directed him to when he and Raeg had first arrived. They’d slept in her bed though. He and his brother, one on each side of her, surrounding her with their warmth, with their protection.

  God help him, would he survive when he’d learn that she had married? He had a feeling survival would be the least of his worries if he ever learned she carried another man’s child. There would be nothing inside him but fury once that occurred, a fury he knew would destroy him.

  * * *

  Raeg stared at the empty exit from the barn for long minutes after his brother had stalked away from it. His gaze slid then to the cracked plank of wood where Falcon’s fist had slammed into it and wondered if his brother had finally managed to break a bone.

  “You know he loves her, don’t you?” Cal turned to Raeg then, his dark blue eyes filled with censure. “Says you love her too, though you won’t admit to it. Yet, I have a feeling the two of you will walk right away from her once you kill Dragovich, won’t you?”

  Raeg rubbed at the back of his neck before dropping his hand to his side, knowing he should just walk away from this conversation as well. He should check on Falcon, make certain he hadn’t broken his hand.