The Fine Line Book One Between Worlds Series
Page 10
****
Although work continued on little things in the house, all in all, everything else was done. Robin put a Christmas tree in the family room and in the parlor. She decorated the house perfectly with bright Christmas lights and fresh pine on the mantles. Stockings hung from the family room fire place.
Robin eagerly awaited Olivia’s arrival. She sat in the study checking email when she heard the kitchen door slam. Fear gripped her, but then she heard the sweet sound of Olivia’s voice.
“Robin!” she shouted. “Robin!”
Enthusiastically, Robin pushed away from the desk and rushed down to the kitchen. Olivia, still bundled in her pink parka and knit hat, glowed with excitement.
Embracing Olivia, Robin sighed, so happy to see the little girl.
“Oh, you look so good I think I’ll eat you up! Let me take your coat and hat.”
“This place is so big!” Olivia exclaimed as she started unzipping her coat.
“Yes. It’s large.”
“Hey, who lives next door? They have a Santa on their lawn.”
“That’s Mr. and Mrs. O’Bryan’s place,” Matt answered. “They have grandkids I know you’ll want to play with.”
“They have lived there for a really long time,” Robin added.
She took the coat and hat as Olivia stepped out of her snow boots.
“Where’s my room?” Olivia asked curiously.
“Come on, we’ll show you,” Matt answered.
They made their way up the stairs. Timidly, Olivia opened the door and then gazed inside, her mouth gapping open. “Super Girl!” she shouted as she jumped up and down clapping her hands together. “I love it!” She ran to Matt and leapt into his arms.
“Don’t thank me munchkin. Thank Robin. She’s the one who picked out everything,” Matt said.
Olivia hopped down and walked to Robin. Looking up into her face earnestly, she smiled.
“Thank you so much. I just can’t believe you did all of this for me.”
Robin knelt down and smiled.
“Of course I did it. That’s what you told me you wanted.”
“But I didn’t think you would. Mommy told me that you would never do it because it was too hard.”
“Nothing is too hard when it comes to you, little one,” she replied. “You want to go see the basement? There’s stuff down there for you, too,” Robin asked.
“Yeah!” Olivia shouted as Robin rose and held out her hand.
The basement added to Olivia’s thrill. An area of the room painted pink with stenciled purple butterflies featured a large wooden doll house and other toys.
After a bath and a few hours of play, Olivia needed to go to bed. Robin kept working in the kitchen as Matt went upstairs to put Olivia to bed. She heard his feet on the floorboards in the hallway and turned to look at him. Smiling widely, he walked to her.
“She wants you to tuck her in,” he said.
“Really?”
“That’s what she said.”
It was the first time she had asked for Robin at bedtime.
Gladly, she walked up the stairs and into Olivia’s room. Sitting in her bed, Olivia flipped the pages of a book.
“What are you reading?” Robin asked.
“Oh, daddy just read me Green Eggs and Ham. It’s my favorite book.”
“I liked that book, too.”
She took the book from Olivia and put it on the night stand. Olivia snuggled under the covers and Robin pulled the red down comforter up over her.
“Love you dear-heart,” Robin said as she leaned down and kissed her forehead.
“Love you, too. I just wanted you to tuck me in.”
“Well, I’m glad you did.”
“Good night,” she concluded.
Robin smiled. “Night sweetie,” she said as she pulled the door shut.
Fatigue overcame Robin and she longed for a warm bath. So, she walked to the master bedroom, gathered her cotton pajamas, and walked to the bathroom.
The sound of the water hitting the porcelain soothed her soul. It would be the first time she would actually be taking a bath in the claw-foot antique bathtub. Matt installed a shower mechanism so she had been taking showers instead.
Around the tub hung a white linen shower curtain from a round rod secured to the ceiling. A simple pedestal sink stood across from the toilet. A large fluffy yellow bath rug protected the new tile floor.
Robin lit some candles and left the door cracked just enough to see out. She sank into the hot water as the bubbles wrapped around her body. Soaking in the calming scent of the lavender candles, she closed her eyes and rested her head on the rolled up towel. The sound of Christmas music echoed through the house.
Suddenly, she heard giggling. Her eyes opened and she struggled to look out the bathroom door into the dark hallway.
“Olly?” she asked quietly.
No one answered. She put her head back on the towel and closed her eyes again, but she heard the giggling once again. She kept her eyes closed sure Olivia was being mischievous.
“Olly, you need to go to bed.”
Robin didn’t want Olivia to get in trouble for being out of bed, so she stood up as the water ran down her body. She carefully stepped out onto the rug and grabbed the terrycloth robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door. She wrapped it around herself and walked down the hallway. Quietly, she opened the door and peaked into Olivia’s room. To her surprise, Olivia’s body was still as she lay sleeping.
Slightly unnerved, she headed back to her bath but was interrupted by the giggling again. Now fear rushed over her. She returned to Olivia’s room, but the child still didn’t move.
Without hesitation, she walked downstairs. Matt sat at the dining room table with wrapping paper strung all around. Ribbons hung off the table as he struggled to wrap gifts.
Robin stood in the doorway feeling terrified. Their eyes met. Immediately, he stood and walked to her. She felt his gentle touch on her arms and her eyes moved but her body stayed numb.
“Robin, what’s wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost,” he began.
Blankly, she looked at him.
“I was taking a bath and I heard giggling, so I thought it was Olly and I went to check on her and she was still in bed asleep. I stood outside her door and started back to get in the tub…I heard it again. It scared me, Matt. I don’t want to go back up there by myself.”
“Sweetheart, it’s probably just Olly playing games. You know how she can be.”
“Matthew, it wasn’t her.”
She trembled visibly.
“I’ll go up with you. You can finish your bath while I turn the bed down and put some laundry away,” he said in a consoling voice.
She nodded.
They made their way up the stairs to the bathroom. The water was still warm, so Robin hung her robe up as Matt sat on the closed toilet lid.
She knew he would try to calm her. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head trying to come up with logical reasons for what Robin told him. He didn’t disappoint her.
“You’ve been under a lot of stress with the move and the promotion and everything, you know?” he began.
“You think it’s my imagination?”
“It’s possible,” he continued. “The one thing I am sure of is this: if you can’t touch it, it doesn’t exist. So whatever it was that you thought you heard has to have a logical, realistic explanation to it.”
“You don’t believe in a higher power?” she asked curiously.
“I believe that what happens in this life is all we have.”
“So you don’t believe in a creator?” she questioned insistently.
“I’m not an atheist or anything, but honestly who is God? I’ve never seen him.”
“I’m not talking about God. I’m talking about a creator; an all powerful being who created each and every soul.”
“No, Robin, I don’t believe that there is an all-powerful anything. I believe there’s life. I
believe we are a bag of chemicals. We live. We die. I believe we experience happiness, sadness, loss, triumph. But honestly, I don’t believe there’s much more than that.”
Disturbed by his smugness and his interpretation, she couldn’t believe what she heard.
“So you don’t believe in an afterlife or miracles or things like that? Divine intervention? Nothing?”
“Robin, I’ve seen too many people suffer for no good reason. Where is God when that happens? Where was he when you were being held hostage?”
She was ashamed for him. “I wasn’t alone,” she whispered.
He didn’t hear her and kept talking.
“Don’t you think that it’s all just bullshit?”
“No. I don’t. You know my stepdad is a retired Pentecostal preacher. My entire life I was taken to church. My brother, my sister, and me were in agony while we were there most of the time, but we saw things and felt things that none of us could explain. When I was held hostage by Brett and I thought my life was going to end, I experienced something. It was completely different than the beliefs I had been raised with. Even in the midst of all of that chaos with Brett, I felt peace. You can’t buy that Matthew. Yes, I was scared, but once I gave into the spiritual energy that surrounded me, the fear was gone. I felt reassurance that no matter what happened, I’d be okay. It was then that I realized that there was more to what I had been told growing up. I began researching spiritualism and shied away from the fundamentalist teachings of my childhood. I discovered more than I could have ever imagined.”
“So you don’t believe in God?”
“I believe there is a higher power. I used to think God was a mean old man sitting on a throne ready to strike me down when I made mistakes. You see, fundamentalists control through fear. Spirituality embraces love and peace.”
“What about Jesus?” Matt asked intriguingly.
“I believe that Jesus was the Creator in human form,” she answered.
“And the Bible?”
“The Bible is what it is. It is a collection of man-made written accounts of the Christian belief system. It was written hundreds and hundreds of years after Jesus died and I believe there are bits of truth in the Bible to help each of us find our way successfully to the Creator. But, I believe that each religion has that quality. Each set of teachings allows us to commune with the Creator. But, really, I think it’s up to each of us to distinguish what is fact in those teachings and what is fiction.”
“Angels?” Matt continued to ask curiously.
“Spirit guides are what I’ve come to understand them as. They are supreme, angelic beings assigned to a person for safety, guidance, help during death, and enlightenment surrounding personal abilities.”
“How come we never talked about this before?” he asked.
“I guess it just never came up. Never seemed to be the right time, I suppose,” she answered as she shrugged.
Sadness covered her heart as she thought of how skeptical Matt seemed to be. How lost she would feel without the comfort of her Creator. She couldn’t image how Matt functioned on a daily basis without some kind of faith.
Chapter Five
Terrifying
After the intense conversation, things went on as normal. There was no more discussion about the giggling and Robin’s intense belief system. In fact, Matt avoided any further talk about spirituality.
Because of the investment with the house, money was tight. Therefore, Christmas gifts weren’t something Robin and Matt would be participating in. They bought things for Olly, of course, and other members of the family, but, they agreed that the house was gift enough for both of them.
Snuggled together on the couch with the fire blazing, they talked over the events of Christmas day. The crackle of the wood could be heard over the chatter.
Matt smirked sneakily. Robin knew him too well; she knew he bought something for her in spite of their deal.
“What are you smiling about?” she asked curiously.
“I have a gift for you.”
“But we agreed not to buy each other anything,” she protested.
“I know, I know. But it’s our first Christmas.”
“Matthew!” she exclaimed.
With a bright smile, he stood. “Just wait here.”
She patiently waited feeling terrible for not getting him anything.
He returned with a rather large square box in his arms.
“Matt! What did you do?”
“Just look inside.”
She peered into the box and pulled the white tissue paper away. A straw hat with a wide white ribbon lay inside.
Her nose crinkled and she looked over at Matt oddly.
“I wanted to talk to you first before I did anything,” he started, “but you and I said we wouldn’t go on a honeymoon and, frankly, I disagree with that. I think we should take a trip.”
“A trip?”
“A trip. I want to take you to the Caribbean; a cruise.”
“Matt, all of our money is tied up.”
“Not all of it. I’ve saved back some cash and I asked around about cost. We could take a really nice cruise in the fall. I realize it is months away, but I thought it would be something we could enjoy. It’d be something to look forward to.”
She smiled. “It would be nice, but…”
“We could leave from Miami,” he said paying no attention to her protests. “We could take a 5 day cruise. I know how much you love water. It’d be a great chance to get away.”
Still reluctant, she tried to reason with him.
“Matt, I appreciate the thought. I really do, but we really can’t.”
“It wouldn’t be until the fall. And I’m paying for it.”
“I just think we should hold off. With my job, I really need to be here right now.”
“But, it’s in the fall,” he continued still.
Looking rather defeated, Matt sat down beside Robin. She sighed.
“I’ve hurt your feelings,” she said sadly.
“No,” he said as he sat back.
“Matt, let me say something.” With a serious expression, she continued. “We can’t hide our feelings, even over something like this. I can tell you’re clamming up on me.” She peered into his disappointed eyes. “It’s really important that whenever we’re disappointed or angry or upset, that we talk about it. I don’t want our relationship to be one of those where we pout when we’re mad.”
“I’m not mad,” he shrugged. “I just wanted to take you some place nice to do something fun. I don’t feel right about not giving you a honeymoon.”
“We have each other. That’s all that matters. The gesture is beautiful, but I just don’t think it’s the right time. We really need to keep saving our money. We have to spend wisely. This house is a big investment for us.”
“Just promise me that some day we will have a honeymoon. I don’t want you to feel cheated in any way.”
“There is no possible way I could ever feel cheated,” she said with a warm smile.
****
In January, Olivia turned seven. After an enjoyable three weeks off of work, Matt and Robin went back to their respective jobs. The snows relentlessly covered the county with up to eight inches at a time. Robin loved it.
The house still felt uncomfortable to Robin. She didn’t like being in the house alone. Even her tremendous beliefs and her steadfast faith didn’t quench the uneasiness. She found herself staying late at work because she knew if she came home terribly tired, she would fall asleep easier. However, her plan failed many times. She would lie in bed staring at the ceiling fearful to even move.
With the failure of such a well thought out plan, she came up with another one. She cooked dinner many times and took it to the hospital for Matt. She would fall asleep in the on-call lounge when she became too tired to drive home. This seemed to work out for a little while, but it didn’t offer a permanent solution to the real problem.
She knew in her heart there were deeper s
eated problems with the house. The unexplained doors slamming and the giggling still had no viable explanations in her mind. In fact, those activities served as stark reminders of her childhood. However, she didn’t feel ready to share her experiences with Matt yet considering his skepticism.
Wendy offered company to Robin in Matt’s absence. Wendy stayed with Robin on several occasions, but the uncomfortable nature of the house couldn’t be shaken. Wendy told Robin she felt uneasy, as if someone watched her.
Robin made her best effort to be positive. Matt’s midnight shifts began taking a toll on the marital relationship, nonetheless. Robin said nothing to Matt about it though. She did exactly what she advised Matt not to do; she bottled her feelings up. She pushed them down into her core praying the uneasiness and feelings of abandonment might go away in time.
Eventually, to ease the loneliness, Robin bought a dog from the local shelter. A mutt covered in golden brown fur, she called him Cookie. Already large at only five months old, Robin knew with age, he would only grow bigger; much bigger.
In a new house, potty training would be a challenge, but Robin felt up for it. She crate trained Cookie and used the basement as a place to keep him while she worked. Luckily, Matt would be home during the day to work on the potty training ritual. Because Cookie was so friendly, Robin felt a peaceful aura surrounding him. He calmed her. She believed that by surrounding herself with positive energy, no matter what the source, things could begin to turn around in the house. At least, she could feel more confident about being in the house without Matt.
Time passed with no strange events. The snow melted into spring and soon the buds appeared on the trees. The late March rains began. By then, Cookie was fully potty trained and at night he slept in the master bedroom on a dog bed.
Edgy from the spring storms, Robin watched television, but dozed off. Suddenly, the crash of thunder shattered the silence and Robin shot up from the couch. She glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner as it chimed once.
After catching her breath, she rested back on the couch, T.V. still on. Cookie lay beside the couch, so Robin reached for him and felt his coarse hair.