Supersonic

by Anouschka Zagorski

  “Oh no!” I exclaimed. “I think that glass was crystal!”

  “So what - we are paying enough money for this place.”

  “We have to take a note of everything that we break. I better get a dustpan. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to remove the wine stains though.”

  He clicked his tongue impatiently. “Just leave it for the fucking cleaner tomorrow!”

  “But Jacob, the splinters are dangerous and the stains may not be removable tomorrow,” I objected.

  “Gawd! I did this so I decide how to deal with it and I say leave it!” He got up, brushed some of the larger pieces aside with his deck shoe and shuffled to the master bedroom.

  “Mummy, what happened? Did something break?” Marie came in from outside.

  “Stop! Careful, honey, don’t come closer - you’re not wearing shoes. Yes, a glass fell on the floor.”

  “Ouch!” She stopped and lifted her foot. I quickly went to examine it.

  “Yes, you have a small cut. Here, the splinter is gone. But please, no more walking around. Come, I’ll carry you to the bathroom so we can put a plaster on it.” I carried her back to the terrace door, opened it and shouted: “Noëlle, Antonio, please don’t come inside - there are some pieces of glass we need to clear up first.” I then went to the master bedroom in order to get to our bathroom, where I kept the first aid kit. Jacob was lying on our bed, asleep again.

  “Mummy, why is he sleeping so much?” Marie whispered in my ear.

  “He has been working a lot, so he’s just tired,” I whispered back. In the bathroom, I placed her on the edge of the bathtub and went to get my sponge, which was back with the medical supplies. Next to it was Jacob’s toiletries bag. It was open. I noticed a pillbox with the lid not fastened properly. I picked it up to screw it back on and read the label - Imipramine.

  “It stopped bleeding, Mummy.”

  I quickly placed the bottle back in the bag and turned around. “Good. We’ll put a plaster on it anyway, OK? Then you can go outside through the terrace doors. I will hoover the floor and let you know when it’s OK to come back inside.”

  “OK, Mummy.”

  We tiptoed through the bedroom again, Marie left through the French doors and I went to clean the floor. When I finished and saw that Jacob was still asleep, I decided to let him sleep and prepare dinner myself. Antonio woke him up when everything was ready and we had set the table outside. Jacob appeared from the bedroom to join us.

  “Hm, sorry guys. I’m just so tired.” He yawned. “My wifey, you’ve been so good, letting me sleep and preparing everything.”

  “That’s OK. The children were a great help. Are you feeling better now?”

  “Yeah, thanks.” He gave me a kiss on the head and sat down. “Again, thanks. I’ll prepare the barbecue tomorrow, OK? How about we make a trip to the beach tomorrow?”

  That got the children all excited. All three started talking at the same time about what they needed to take and what they wanted to do in the sea. The shattered glass incident was not mentioned again.

  A few days later we decided to make a day trip to Bordeaux. As we emerged from the parking garage near the Cours de l’Intendance, I spotted a Louis Vuitton boutique.

  “Oh! They may have the new leo print scarf, it’s sold out everywhere else! Jacob, do you mind if I have a quick look?”

  Jacob did not look pleased “Hm. OK. We’ll wait outside - Antonio and Noëlle can try out their new Heelys. Be quick though, and don’t spend any money.”

  “I’m going with Mumma!” Marie announced and took my hand. As we entered the shop I saw the leo scarf in one of the displays. I humoured the shop assistant, who made a fuss about it being sold out everywhere, and completed the transaction much quicker than I normally would’ve and without looking twice at the beautiful temptations that winked at me from the shelves. Marie had stood next to me when the price was announced so as we were leaving, I turned to her. “Don’t say anything about how much this was, OK darling? In case Jacob asks.”

  “Why Mummy? Can you not buy what you want? It’s your money, isn’t it?”

  “Well, it’s complicated, honey. Let’s just not talk about it.”

  We found Jacob outside, watching Antonio and Noelle rolling up and down the street.

  “So you obviously found what you were looking for,” he stated with a glance at the brown paper bag.

  “Yes - such pot luck! This scarf costs more on eBay than in the shop itself! They even had this handbag, that I thought was not for sale any more - it’s the handbag that Carrie gives to her assistant Louise in Sex and the City: the Movie.”

  He frowned. “You didn’t buy that as well though, did you?”

  “Well no, but really, I should - it would be a good investment.” I looked back at the window displays.

  “Chloé. If you buy another handbag I will get a divorce.”

  “Very funny,” I laughed.

  “I mean it. If you buy another handbag I’ll get a divorce,” he repeated sternly.

  At that moment, it dawned upon me that he was serious. Being married to Jacob meant that he really expected us to share our salaries, and that in future I had to account for my purchases. I looked at the beautifully wrapped box inside the paper bag and no longer felt any enjoyment. For an instant I had the urge to go back and return it but then I felt an even stronger urge to go back and buy that handbag.

  However, he was my husband and I wanted this marriage to work. Upon further reflection, therefore, I decided to be a good ‘Polish wife’ like his adored mother. So on our return to the holiday home I took my notebook - a navy linen-bound book with blue ruled paper and a Prada logo that Isabella had once given to me - and started to write down all my daily expenses. I continued to do so after our holidays. Jacob was content. Our marriage was on track.

  * * *

  Job matters soon become predominant again. It was the beginning of September 2008. That morning, having switched on my PC, I had noticed that Jerome had put an appointment in my outlook diary for 10 a.m.: review with Tracey. Yay. That was never a pleasant exercise and I didn’t expect anything different this time. Still, she had been quite friendly to me after we had come back from our post-wedding vacation - congratulating me and politely admiring my rings - and she certainly seemed to place more attention on Jacob, being nearly flirtatious with him at times. I took that as a sign that she was relaxed both with me and with my personal circumstances. Maybe I could relax now as well.

  When I entered her office she barely looked up from her papers.

  “Come in, Chloé, and close the door, please. I am just looking at the print-out of your financial performance. As far as I can work out you have only got about one hundred and thirty chargeable hours a month on average over the last three months.” She looked up at me and raised her eyebrows. “How can that be?”

  “Uhm - we did not get the last two deals from Holmans and the other two pitches I sent out are still pending?”

  “This is not acceptable. These figures are far too low. I have also had to write off too much of your time on the deals that we have billed in the second quarter.”

  “Well, the fee caps we offered were quite low and the structure of the Amsterdam bank deal changed completely so I had to put in double the amount of work. Also, there was a bit of duplication of work by Jessica when she filled in for me when I was on holiday.”

  “Her hourly rate is lower than yours and she deserves to be able to have her time invoiced when she works so hard. If I did not know you better I would nearly have the impression that you have become less willing to work and instead are enjoying an extended honeymoon.”

  I could feel my face getting flushed. “No. I haven’t. I’m not.”

  “Be that as it may, all I can say is these figures must improve drastically within the next t
hree months. Otherwise we may need to reassess your counsel status.”

  At this point my scalp and the top of my ears were burning, which only happens when I feel the adrenaline of danger shooting through my veins. Notwithstanding my racing heart I managed to respond calmly. “I understand. I will do my best. Is that all?”

  “Yes, that’s all.”

  Back in my room, I closed the door and sat turned towards the window. This wasn’t good. Not good at all. Granted, the expected monthly chargeable hours target was one hundred and sixty and at one hundred and thirty I was below that. However, I simply hadn’t been that busy and, I admitted to myself, I had enjoyed not being frantically busy all the time. However, Tracey’s threat had contained a dangerous undertone, which, since she was a woman, was relevant and not to be ignored. She had meant much more than she had actually said. A man would have clearly said ‘if you do not perform, you will have to go’. I found the business card of my preferred head-hunter, Steven Quinn, in my purse and dialled his number on my private mobile.

  “Steven Quinn?”

  “Steven, hi! It’s Chloé - Chloé Krakowski from Pratt & Wonkey.”

  “Chloé! Good to hear from you. How are you - how are things at P&W?”

  “That’s why I’m actually calling. I’m considering a change and was wondering whether you have any searches going on.”

  “In fact, we do. Two firms are looking actively at the moment. They aren’t top ten though - they are small and don’t have any banking law capacity. Other than that, it’s fairly quiet in that area - the financial crisis is taking its toll.”

  “Yes. I know. Would you enquire anyways, with these two firms, on a no names basis?”

  Sure! I’ll do that and get back to you.”

  “Thanks.” We hung up. I was unsure what might come of it but it was important to set up a plan B if matters deteriorated here.

  * * *

  Two weeks later, on a Monday morning, when stepping off the lift at 8.30 a.m., I was surprised to see that many associates and partners were already or - judging by their state - still in the office. I spotted Jessica who was about to rush past me with a little stressed wave of her hand. I stopped her.

  “Hey, what’s going on? Why is everybody here already?”

  “Haven’t you heard? It’s Lehmans! They have filed for insolvency! AB bank made a money transfer to their German subsidiary on Friday afternoon for the GREF deal which is to close today. We have to try and get the money back before it lodges its insolvency application with the German bankruptcy court! Sorry, I’ve got to see Tracey now!” She ran off.

  At P&W we had known of, and been affected by, the subprime crisis over the preceding year because many of our real estate finance transactions were put on hold, or stopped altogether, due to the rise in the interbank interest rate. Banks were simply no longer able to lend money at the low rates clients were willing to pay and able to afford. This, however, was unbelievable. One of the largest US investment banks was insolvent?

  Once I had reached my office, and was online, I scrolled through the websites of the various financial newspapers, which all had the same topic. Even the tabloids were dominated by screaming headlines about the fall of Lehman Brothers. I was shell-shocked. What would this mean for the world economy? I still remembered the stock market crash on Black Monday in 1987 but at that time I was a student and only theoretically interested in the financial markets. Things were of course different now. P&W’s main clients were banks. They - and we - would be clearly, and dramatically, affected by this.

  Sure enough, a while later, an email from Tracey, to her entire team, informed us of the immediate consequences.

  From: Taylor, Tracey (BK)

  To: Krakowski, Chloe (BK); Allen, Jessica (BK); Jones, Mike (BK); Holmes, Joanna (BK)

  Cc: Panzer, Jerome (BK)

  Dear all,

  I have spoken to AB Bank, Holmans/HOLREF, Holland Bank and Francobank. All transactions are on hold. DO NOT write down any time on any of their deals until further notice. If you have any questions let me know.

  Tracey

  My heart sank. I was involved in two of those transactions and needed the billable hours. I certainly had not forgotten Tracey’s words: ‘these figures must improve drastically, within the next three months, otherwise we may need to reassess your counsel status’. The aircraft finance restructuring for Bavaria Bank that I had been working on was not affected by the crisis, as this was not a new money loan. The airline had received their loan years before but now had problems repaying it so the bank agreed to lower the repayment instalments and extend the term in which they were payable, in return for receiving additional security and guarantees. However, even taken together with some other small matters I was busy with, it would not be sufficient to increase my hours drastically. Which reminded me of plan B. I closed the door again and dialled Steven Quinn’s mobile. When he did not answer I left a brief message, asking to be called back.

  A short while later he returned my call.

  “I was going to call you in the next few days anyway,” he began. He was the only legal head-hunter I knew of who did not need to be chased for information.

  “The two firms I mentioned to you - they were interested, initially, but now everything’s on hold. They are not sure they want banking law capacity in this current market. Do you do restructuring?”

  “Not really,” I replied. “Only in respect of deals I have previously done but I’m not a restructuring or insolvency specialist.”

  “Shame. That’s what everyone will want. All I can say is you better hang on to your job.”

  “Sure. I was just checking the market,” I lied. “I have no reason to leave.”

  * * *

  I did leave though - the office, early, at 6 p.m. It was glorious to have non-hurried evening time with the girls, eating pizza with toppings we made ourselves, playing with foam and huge bubbles in the bath, cuddling in Noëlle’s bed with her reading a story to me and Marie.

  When Jacob came home I was just washing up the oven trays.

  “You left early,” he stated with raised eyebrows as he placed his briefcase on the kitchen counter.

  “Hm. I was looking for you but heard you were in that crisis meeting all day.”

  “Yeah. The whole Lehman thing is a nightmare. I need a drink.” He opened the cupboard and took out a whiskey glass.

  “Yes. I know. Nearly all my deals are on hold. So I left early to have dinner with the girls and give them a bath. I have even done the washing and tidied up.”

  “How exciting.”

  “It’s not about being exciting or not. I’m really trying to be a good wife, Jacob. I have the same job as you, yet I do all our housework and look after the girls and Antonio as much as I can.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “If it’s too much for you, just don’t do it.”

  “It’s not too much. It’s a pleasure. I love looking after my family but I feel like you’re taking everything for granted. I need your appreciation once in awhile. Like, you no longer tell me that I’m pretty or that you love me. I miss that.” I firmly held eye contact. It was not easy for me to do so but I thought if he wanted to make me happy then I had to verbalise my needs. There was no point waiting - any longer - for him to realise this by himself.

  “I’m a good husband. I work all day. I don’t beat you. I don’t cheat on you.”

  He was actually serious, which only got me more upset. When he noticed that, he smirked and took me in his arms. “Darling, darling! You are so pretty, I love you so and we have such a nice home,” he said in a baby-like voice.

  I pulled out of his arms. “You don’t have to make fun of me!”

  He laughed. “Oh come on.” He grabbed my breasts from behind, made a grunting noise and rubbed himself against my bottom. “Let’s ha
ve sex, oomph-oomph.”

  I pushed his hands away with my wrists and took off my dripping rubber gloves. “Let it go. That’s really not a turn on. I don’t know why you always do that when I am washing up and can’t defend myself.”

  “That’s exactly why it’s fun!” He shook his head and let go of me.

  In an attempt to placate him I hugged him and kissed him softly. “Can we not be more tender? Let me show you what I mean.”

  He pulled back impatiently. “No. I don’t have time for that now. I’ve got work to do.”

  I turned away, pretending to check the dishwasher program, so that he could not see my tears. “Alright. I’ll wait for you in bed.” When I looked up again with a forced smile he had left the kitchen.

  * * *

  From: Hart, Christopher (CEO)

  To: All Fee Earners (Global); All Support Staff (Global)

  Cc: James, Bryan (SP)

  Re: Global restructuring programme

  Dear All

  In order to anticipate the effects the financial crisis may have on the firm it has been decided that a restructuring of all Pratt & Wonkey staff will be required globally. The aim is to reduce the head count overall by 9 per cent. within the next two months. This will affect all offices and all departments, and fee earners and support staff alike. If you have any questions please consult your local HR department.

  Best regards

  Christopher Hart, Chief Executive Officer

  Bryan James, Senior Partner

  “Do you think the banking department will be affected? I mean - with all the restructurings we are still the most profitable department overall,” I said to Jessica when she called me as soon as the email had arrived.

  “That’s true, but David told me that although there is a worldwide increase in turnover, the profit per equity partner is expected to fall because of staff costs and underperforming departments, like real estate for example. He also told me - well, but you must please keep it quiet.” David had, in the meantime, been made partner so this was first hand gossip.