Dark Savior: A Dark Bad Boy Romance
Page 12
Joseph turns his head to look at me, raising his eyebrows. “Exactly.”
“Her name was Sonya,” I add, looking at my friend as I await his reaction.
His eyes widen. “I can’t remember every detail of the case, but yeah, that could be it. The name sounds familiar. How did you know? Did I ever tell you?”
I shake my head. “You didn’t have to.”
“What gives? How do you know about her?” Joseph wants to know. “And why is this so important all of a sudden?”
I barely hear him talking next to me.
I can’t believe this. This can’t be true. Did I really kill the guy who murdered Meadow’s sister? Was he rotting in the trunk of my car when I picked her up from that bridge, saving her life as I was about to dispose of his body?
“How sure can we be?” I ask. “That he was the guy responsible for the case in Pennsylvania?”
Joseph shrugs his shoulders. “Pretty sure, I guess. I mean there have been no witnesses, but our guy over there was thanking me when I told him that we had taken care of another one. The pattern was too similar, you know? Also, he mentioned that the guy left town rather abruptly — and that was after it happened. I know that he showed up back here shortly after, that’s when I was back at his heels. It all just falls together too perfectly not to be true.”
He fixes his dark eyes on me, casting me a brooding look. “This one was bigger than we thought, Kade.”
“You have no idea,” I whisper, finishing my drink with one big gulp.
Who knew that fate could be such a fucking creep?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Meadow
I wake up confused and disoriented as always. My eyes are caked with dried up tears and my throat hurts.
I’ve been crying, a lot. One by one, my memories return.
Kade is a murderer. He kills bad men. Men like the one who took Sonya’s life. He made me tell him about her and everything that led up to me standing on the bridge that day. After spending all this time together in our weird little microcosm of lust, pleasure, tears and secrets, we’ve now turned the page, baring almost everything. I know about him, he knows about me. Things have changed dramatically, and I still don’t know how I feel about it.
“Kade?”
My voice echoes in the empty apartment. It’s still dark outside, but the first harbinger of daylight is already visible across the sky. I’ve slept through almost the entire night.
I slowly get up from the couch, wrapping the blanket around me as if to protect myself against the darkness as I wander through the empty apartment, switching on every light as I go.
He is gone. That shouldn’t surprise me because he’s never spent the night.
What does surprise me is the open door at the end of the tiny hallway. I step inside the room that used to be locked so I couldn’t go in. He’s been in here. The desk looks messier than before. It looks like he’s been rummaging through everything in a hurry, looking for something. The drawers are open, too. My heart stops when I realize that the gun is gone.
What is he up to? Did he rush off to take revenge? Is he searching for Sonya’s killer? He would have to go all the way to Pittsburgh for that. That makes no sense at all. How would he even know where to go? No, that’s not what’s happening here.
Or is it? I’m too tired and too confused to come up with any good explanation. All I know is that I’m worried. Worried about him, and worried about myself.
I need to get out of here. I don’t even know what my long-term plan is, but right now this is all I want. I go through the closet in his bedroom in search of something to wear. I can’t be running around in just shorts and the sweatshirt I’ve been wearing for days. It’s bad enough that I don’t have any shoes with me. Fuck me and my dramatic gestures. The shoes that drowned at the bottom of that canyon would’ve come in handy right now.
I change into another pair of shorts that seem to be rather old and a hooded sweatshirt. The clothes look ridiculous on me, making me look like a girl who’s trying to dress up as a boy. I spot a baseball cap on a top shelf inside the closet and take it. If I hide my hair beneath the cap, I could actually pass as a teenage boy. That can’t hurt in a neighborhood like this.
Even though I anticipate the attempt to be futile, I try the door first. I didn’t expect for him to leave the door unlocked, but I had to make sure before coming up with another plan. Now that I know I’m locked in, I really have to figure out what that other plan could look like.
I walk over to the living room window. Except for the first one or two days, I never really paid much attention to the windows or what I could see on the outside. I never cared. It didn’t matter to me where I was or how I could get away from here. Now it does.
The view from the window tells me that getting out of here won’t be easy, but it’s not impossible. The apartment is on the top floor of the building, and if I remember correctly, we walked about five or six flights of stairs to get here. There’s a fire escape to the left, but it doesn’t lead all the way down. I open the window, something I’ve never done since arriving, and lean outside to get a better view. The fire escape is old and rusty and looks anything but trustworthy. As far as I can tell, it goes down to the second floor. Well, that’s a start. From there, it should be easy to get down to the ground.
The streets are still empty this early in the day, so I don’t worry about anyone watching me climb down the fire escape even though the apartment is facing the main street to the front. I carefully make my way down the rusty ladder, fully concentrating on the task at hand. I don’t know where I’m going or what my plan is once I reach the ground, but I feel the urgent need to get out of that apartment, even if it’s only to prove to myself that I can.
I only pause once to witness the spectacular sunrise in the eastern sky. It’s a crisp and clear day, and I can’t remember the last time I was able to appreciate the beauty of a sunrise.
It feels good. Right. I sit down for a while, holding on to the rusty railing at my side as my eyes are locked on to the horizon. It’s beautiful. How could I forget about this? The beauty that spellbinds millions of people every single day. I haven’t been part of this for so long. Grief and self-pity had taken over my life, casting every positive experience aside. Sonya would hate that. How could I let this happen? How could I find myself ready to throw everything that she’s worked for away?
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, directing my words to the sunrise. A single tear travels down my cheek as I vow to my dead sister that I won’t forget again. I won’t forget who I am, who she was and what she did for me. I will live. I don’t know how or where, but I will live.
I don’t know if Kade will be part of my life. After all, he might not want to be. He might consider me dangerous now that I know so much about his darkest secret. If that’s the case, it’s all the more important for me to forget about everything that has happened between us and get as far away from him as possible. I don’t know him well enough to be sure. As far as I’m concerned, he’s unpredictable. Dark, brooding, caring and goddamn sexy, but unpredictable. He may be gentle and loving now, but what if I ever get on his bad side? If I piss him off enough, would he hurt me? Would he get rid of me like he did the others who he saw as a problem? I’m dangerous to him, now that I know so much about his murderous activities. He can’t let me go just like that, he said so himself.
At the same time, I can’t bear the thought of not being with him anymore. I haven’t felt this comfortable and safe with anyone before. Not ever. I haven’t been fucked like this before. I’ve never known the overwhelming heights of pleasure he’s shown me. Is he like that with every woman he meets? I’d hate to think that was true, but in the end, I don’t even know how he spends most of his days. I don’t know where he goes in the evenings, who he spends his nights with. He doesn’t seem to have to go to work every day. That’s another big secret I’ve yet to reveal. What does he do for a living? How can he afford to keep this empty apartment when t
here’s no one living in it anymore? Where’s he living?
There are so many unanswered questions. I guess the mystery that surrounds him has always been part of the appeal for me. I felt like a daredevil when I followed him to his car, like a girl who was about to do something crazy, something stupid, something dangerous. Something only a person who has nothing to lose would do.
That’s what I’d considered myself: a person with nothing to lose. I no longer feel that way. I wish I could think of a way to thank Kade for saving me without this damn fear getting in the way. Why did he have to be the kind of person he is? Things would have been so much easier if he wasn’t living in this moral gray zone. If he was either completely bad or completely good, I’d know what to do about this. An evil man would be easy to hate, a good man would be easy to love. He’s neither. He’s both.
I sigh audibly. In a way my current position reflects the dilemma I find myself in. I’m neither with him nor away from him. I’m sitting on a fire escape that may lead to freedom, but I’m not sure whether I should pursue it.
I’ve never been good at making decisions, but this one is the hardest one I’ve ever had to make. Even deciding to end my life seemed easier in retrospect. Then again, that didn’t exactly turn out the way I’d planned either….
“Fuck it,” I whisper, getting back up on my feet.
I continue my climb down the rickety fire escape, now bathed in the early morning light. Taking things step by step appears to be my only option for now, and getting out of that apartment was something I had to do for myself. If I was to go back up there now, I’d feel like a failure once again. It would just be another decision that I didn’t go through with. I can’t have that right now.
However, when I reach the lowest level of the fire escape, I see myself confronted with an unexpected problem. The ladder that needs to be lowered to get down to the first floor is stuck. I pull and shake it as hard as I can, but it doesn’t move one inch.
“Come on!” I hiss at the inanimate object, as if that would help.
The ladder refuses to listen, it’s as stuck as it can be. I check to see whether I missed something, some kind of lock or safety catch that needs to be loosened first, but there’s nothing. As far as I can tell, the thing is just rusted as hell.
“Crap,” I add to my verbal outbursts.
I check the street one story below me. Still, there are no people out and about yet, no one. I have no idea what day of the week it is, but judging from the empty street on this early morning, I’d guess it’s a weekend.
What now? Should I go back up? Give up? I shake my head no. There must be a way.
The concrete is not that far below me. I’d definitely survive the jump down, but I’d most likely break a bone or two. I’m not too keen on enduring that pain and having to limp away with a broken ankle, let alone the fact that I don’t have health insurance anymore.
I wonder if I could lower myself down to one of the window sills on the first floor? That should work. If I managed to do that, I could jump from there, making an injury less likely to happen.
I get down on my knees with shaking hands. Physical fitness has never been my thing, and right now I wish I’d have put more effort in becoming a bit stronger. I turn around and carefully lower myself down over the edge of the fire escape. My feet are dangling in mid-air as I hold on to rusty steel, trying to place a foot on the window sill below me. Damn, this is harder that I thought. The distance between the window sill and the fire escape is greater than I expected, and I overestimated my height.
My hands are beginning to hurt as the steel cuts into them, and my arms cry from the pain of being dragged down by my entire body weight. I had no idea how hard it was to hold on to yourself like this. I can’t do it much longer, and I have no plan B. If my hands and arms give out, I will just have to let myself drop down to the ground and take my chances at breaking an ankle.
The fact that I’m beginning to panic doesn’t help at all. My motions become more erratic with every passing moment, my feet wildly flying around in search of a sill that is not there, and the pain in my hands and arms is becoming unbearable.
I have to let go. I have to.
“Meadow?!”
Kade? Is he here? Was that him?
The sound of my name startles me so much that I lose my grip. I’m falling, eyes and mouth wide open, my face distorted with a silent cry and all four limbs stretched out like a helpless starfish.
This is going to hurt.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Meadow
“Careful there.”
His voice is faint, as if he was speaking from a far-off distance. I’m lying on something soft with a familiar fabric and a familiar smell. It’s the sofa in the apartment. He brought me back upstairs. I failed yet again.
I open my eyes and the first thing I see is the worried expression on his face as he hovers over me. Kade is wearing his leather jacket with a dark sweater underneath. He looks exhausted. His stubble is darker than usual and his eyes have shadows underneath them that have not been there before. He looks like someone who’s pulled an all-nighter. It doesn’t hurt his appearance at all, though. He’s as handsome as ever.
I try to get up, but am interrupted by a sharp pain at the side of my head.
“Fuck,” I hiss, falling back into the cushions. “What the hell….”
Kade chuckles and gently strokes along my cheek.
“You are one lucky girl, you know that,” he says.
“I couldn’t disagree more.” I frown at him. “What makes you say that?”
His smile widens. “You don’t remember?”
I want to shake my head, but the ache from a moment before causes me to freeze where I am. I don’t want to risk another stab of pain like that if I don’t have to.
“No,” I breathe. “Well… sort of.”
“You fell,” he explains.
Well, I know that much. I fell because I miscalculated, and because someone — Kade — startled me by calling my name. Why is he even here this early? He’s never shown up in the morning before, let alone just after sunrise.
“I caught you just in time,” he says without trying to sound like a hero. “But you hit your head on the ladder right after you lost your grip.”
His face darkens. “If I hadn’t caught you, you’d have fallen down like a lifeless puppet. It would have been a lot worse.”
I hit my head on the ladder? That would explain the severe pain, and if it’s true what he’s saying, there really was no chance in hell that I would’ve been able to soften my fall. I must’ve lost consciousness right after hitting my head.
“Wow,” I whisper, tortured by another strike of pain at my temple.
“Wow, indeed,” Kade says, still caressing my cheek. “What were you thinking, Meadow? Why were you trying to run from me?”
“You know why,” I bring forth. “I had to. I’m scared.”
His expression changes. He looks sad, hurt almost. “You don’t have to be scared of me, Meadow. You really don’t.”
“You’re a murderer.”
“I’m not a killer,” he insists, splitting hair. “I’d never hurt you. Never.”
“But you’d lock me up,” I say. “You don’t want to let me go, because you’re afraid I would turn you in.”
He fixes his hazel eyes on mine. “That’s a legit concern, isn’t it?”
“No,” I object. “I’ve had enough to deal with when it comes to talking to the police. Trust me, I have absolutely no interest in those kind of interrogations again. I’ve had enough. I just want to….”
I hesitate. What do I want? What should I want? A few hours ago I wanted to do nothing but get out of this apartment, but even then I had no idea what the long-term plan would be.
I know I want to live. I want to prove to Sonya that her efforts raising me were not in vain. Kade was the one who made me realize this, but do I want someone like him in my life? A man who’s capable of killing?
&nb
sp; “Meadow,” Kade says, softly turning my face towards his. “I have to tell you something.”
I look up at him. His face is so serious and determined. Whatever he wants to tell me is important.
“I don’t know if you’re ready to hear it,” he adds. “But I really think you should.”
I arch my eyebrows quizzically. Where is he going with this? I’m scared of what’s to come. My mind is running wild with ideas as he keeps me in suspense for a few more moments. He continues to caress my cheek, gently moving a strand of hair out of the way in the process. His touch is so tender and intimate. The closeness between us is apparent, and if I wasn’t hurting this much, I’d try to get up and kiss him in an attempt to steal the words he’s keeping from me.
He sighs and his expression changes into a mellow smile.
“I killed him,” he says.
“Huh?” I retort, not understanding. “Who?”
I’m asking even though I’m pretty sure I know the answer already. There’s only one person’s death that Kade would happily share with me. But I need to hear him say it.
And he does. “The guy who murdered Sonya. He’s gone.”
“No,” I say, accidentally shaking my head. The shooting pain at my temple reminds me how bad of an idea that was.
“That… that’s not possible,” I say, wincing as the ache keeps ringing in my head.
“Here,” he says, producing a pill from behind his back and handing me a glass of water from the table next to the sofa. “Take this. It should help with the pain.”
I reach for the pill as if my life depends on it. Suicidal or not, I’m not masochistic and hate to be in pain.
“How?” I ask, leaning back into the cushions with his help. “How did you find him this quickly? It’s impossible.”
Kade shakes his head. “I didn’t have to. He was already gone before you came here.”
“I don’t understand….”
“On the day we met,” Kade says, his voice deep and calm. “The dead guy I was about to get rid of. It was him.”