It's Now or Never

by June Francis

  Betty was just putting on her coat. ‘Perfect timing,’ she said, slinging her shoulder bag on her shoulder. ‘How d’you feel about walking up to my flat with me? My cousin, Jared, is dropping by to pick up Emma, who’s been staying with me so as to do some shopping with PC Walker. You’ve met her, haven’t you?’

  ‘Yes, she was kind to me when I was followed by a man the other week. She’s been to see Mam and probably she’ll be making her wedding dress. I liked her.’

  ‘I heard about the man from Lenny. It must have been really scary,’ said Betty.

  ‘It was but I haven’t seen him since, thank goodness.’

  ‘Anyway you don’t have to go home on your own. Hester Walker is probably still at the flat and Jared will be giving her a lift home. I’m sure he’ll be willing to drop you off at the same time with her living so close to you.’

  ‘That sounds great,’ said Roberta, pleased at the thought of getting a lift.

  Betty donned her woolly hat and scarf and they set off in the direction of the cathedral. ‘So what was it you wanted me for?’

  Roberta told her and for five minutes or so they discussed perspective. Then they talked about Italy and Betty mentioned the American who had visited the coffee bar earlier. ‘He’s going to Italy but first he’s off to Scotland this evening.’

  ‘Why’s he in Liverpool?’ asked Roberta.

  ‘He’s searching for someone,’ said Betty, giving her a sidelong glance. ‘Do you know anyone called Graham? He’s looking for a woman called Lynne Graham and her daughter.’

  Roberta gaped at her. ‘Mum’s name is Lynne and her maiden name was Graham!’

  ‘You’re joking!’ exclaimed Betty, coming to a halt.

  ‘Honestly, I’m not!’

  Betty groaned. ‘Why didn’t I think of asking you before? I seem to have asked everyone else who’s come in to the coffee bar!’

  ‘I haven’t been in the coffee bar for several days as Mam’s been meeting me from school because of that man following me!’ They stared at each other. ‘Perhaps it was him!’ said Roberta.

  ‘Was he wearing a gaberdine mackintosh and a black trilby?’ asked Betty.

  ‘Yes!’

  Betty gnawed on her lip. ‘I remember thinking he reminded me of an American detective in a film noir.’

  Roberta put a hand to her mouth. ‘Then it is him! I wonder who he is and what he wants with us?’

  ‘Wait!’ exclaimed Betty. ‘I’m not so sure they are one and the same. Mr Anderson told me it was the daughter of the proprietor of the hotel where he’s staying who suggested he try the coffee bar in his search.’

  ‘Is that the American’s name? Anderson?’

  ‘Yes, Stuart Anderson, and he’s been staying at a hotel on Mount Pleasant. Does his name mean anything to you?’

  ‘No. What’s the name of the hotel?’

  ‘I don’t know! He just told me he was staying at the McDonalds’ place.’ Betty frowned. ‘Anyway, you’re not going to find him this evening. He was catching a train but he’ll be back next week. You have a word with your mother about him and see what she has to say. Maybe she’ll recognize his name.’

  ‘I will! I mean, how many women called Lynne Graham are living in Liverpool? And as for my being followed from Liverpool Girls’ College – Mum was a pupil there.’ She stared at Betty. ‘But who was the man who followed me if it wasn’t him?’

  ‘Maybe you weren’t followed and it was just a coincidence that you saw a man dressed in similar clothes who was going in the same direction as you,’ said Betty.

  When they reached Gambier Terrace, Betty stopped in front of a house and took out a key and opened the door. Roberta followed her inside and upstairs to the top floor. A door was flung open and a pregnant woman stood there. ‘So here you are,’ she said, smiling.

  ‘Yes, here we are,’ said Betty, kissing her on the cheek. ‘Bobby, this is my half-sister, Emma Gregory. Emma, this is Roberta Donegan, known as Bobby to her friends.’

  ‘How d’you do?’ said Emma, holding out a hand. ‘Do come in.’

  They shook hands.

  ‘Did someone say the name Donegan?’ asked a female voice.

  Roberta followed Betty and Emma into a large room and noticed Hester over by a window that reached almost from floor to ceiling. There was also man standing by the fireplace.

  ‘Hi!’ said Roberta, smiling at Hester.

  Hester returned her smile. ‘Have you seen any more of that man?’

  Roberta glanced at Betty. ‘We’ve some news about him. You explain, Betty.’

  ‘What’s this about?’ asked Jared, who had dark brown hair and an attractive weather-beaten face.

  ‘In a minute,’ said Betty, putting on the kettle. ‘I’m desperate for a cup of tea.’

  ‘We’ve not long had a cuppa,’ said Jared. ‘So we won’t linger too long if I’m to run Hester home.’

  ‘You don’t have to run me home,’ said Hester firmly. ‘I can catch the bus.’

  ‘Oh yes, he does,’ said Betty quickly. ‘I’ve promised Bobby a lift home, seeing as how she lives near Hester.’ She turned to Jared. ‘You will give her a lift, won’t you?’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ said Jared. ‘Now what’s this about a man?’

  Betty spooned tea leaves into the teapot as she told them about Stuart.

  Hester asked, ‘How old is he?’

  ‘Mid to late twenties, I’d guess,’ said Betty.

  ‘America entered the war in December forty-one,’ said Jared. ‘I’m pretty sure they didn’t come over here until forty-two but the majority would have left by forty-six.’

  ‘He was over here but I doubt he’d have been here during the war or met Bobby’s mother,’ said Betty. ‘Otherwise he would have known her married name.’

  ‘The Yanks were back at Burtonwood base in forty-eight,’ said Jared.

  ‘I think it’s his father who knows about Bobby’s mother and that she had a daughter,’ said Betty. ‘I forgot to say that he mentioned his pa gave him a photograph of Lynne when she was a girl.’

  ‘That doesn’t help us to know whether the father met her during the war or afterwards,’ said Emma.

  ‘Can’t say I remember setting eyes on any Yanks at any time,’ said Roberta. ‘Although I remember Mum talking about the Russians starting World War Three and finish us all off by exploding the atom bomb. I must have been about six at the time.’

  Jared said, ‘Instead the Russians set up a blockade of the Allies’ road, rail and canal access to their sectors in Berlin, so the Allies had to airlift supplies in. You can read about it in the library if you’re interested, Bobby.’

  ‘I am interested,’ she said, thinking suddenly of the two youths that she had seen at the library and wondered what they’d been researching.

  ‘Anyway, enough of this,’ said Emma, accepting her husband’s hand to get up from the sofa. ‘Time to go, for all of us.’

  Roberta expressed her gratitude to Betty for all her help.

  ‘That’s OK,’ she said warmly. ‘I’ll be interested to know what your mother has to say about Stuart Anderson.’

  ‘I’m interested, too,’ put in Hester. ‘Your mention of the McDonalds’ place on Mount Pleasant reminded me that my brother’s girlfriend stays at the Lynton Hotel when she’s in Liverpool. The proprietors might know the McDonalds. At the moment she’s in London but should be back soon. If I see her, I’ll ask about them.’

  Roberta thanked her, impatient now to get home and speak with her mother. She was dropped off first and it came as no surprise to see the front door opening as she crossed the pavement.

  ‘Whose was that car you’ve just got out of?’ asked Lynne, her face pale in the light from a street lamp. ‘I’ve been worried about you.’

  ‘Sorry, Mam. It’s Betty Booth’s cousin’s car,’ said Roberta. ‘How’s Nan?’

  ‘Better than she was this morning,’ said Lynne, closing the door behind her daughter. ‘How come he gave you a lift in
his car?’

  ‘He was picking up his wife from Betty’s flat and Hester Walker was there. He was dropping her off, so he gave me a lift too.’

  ‘What were you doing at Betty’s flat? I thought you were going to the library?’

  ‘I went to the library but I called in at the coffee bar afterwards,’ said Roberta patiently. ‘And guess what, Mam, there’s a man searching for us who has been in the coffee bar.’

  ‘What!’

  Roberta dropped her satchel on the floor and shrugged off her blazer and hung it up. ‘He’s a Yank and his name is Stuart Anderson and he’s looking for a Lynne Graham and her daughter. What d’you make of that?’ She watched the colour drain from Lynne’s face. ‘Are you OK, Mam? I didn’t mean to upset you.’

  Lynne fumbled for the doorknob behind her and stumbled backwards as the door opened. Roberta grabbed her arm and only just managed to prevent her mother from landing on the floor. She helped her to the sofa and sat her down before kneeling in front of her.

  ‘Do you recognize that surname, Mam? Was his father here during the war? Apparently this Stuart was over here during the Berlin airlift.’

  Lynne glanced at her grandmother and then murmured, ‘Fetch me some water, Bobby?’

  Roberta glanced at Nan and then back at her mother. ‘I will in a minute but I want answers first. Tell me who he is and why he is looking for us. I think you know.’

  Nan gripped the arms of the chair. ‘Did this Yank say where he was staying?’

  ‘In a hotel on Mount Pleasant. I don’t know which one but Hester Walker said that her brother’s girlfriend stays at a hotel on the Mount when she’s in Liverpool. When she comes back from London, she’s going to ask her if she’s knows the proprietors whose name is McDonald.’

  ‘This has nothing to do with this girlfriend,’ said Lynne, who had gained some of her colour. ‘And I’ve never met any Americans called Anderson and that’s the truth. Have you had anything to eat, Bobby?’

  ‘No,’ she replied, determined not to allow her mother to change the subject. She was sure Lynne was hiding something from her. ‘You mightn’t have met him but you recognized his name.’

  ‘Why d’you say that?’ snapped Lynne.

  ‘Because of your reaction! I’m not daft, Mam. He’s looking for you and me. Why?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Lynne, sounding huffy. ‘I’m not clairvoyant.’

  ‘I know you’re not, but why are you getting so annoyed? He must be on the level if he’s giving out his name. And I haven’t forgotten seeing a man hanging about outside school. How would he know not only that I was a pupil there but that you’d attended the same school if someone who knew of us hadn’t told him?’

  Nan cleared her throat noisily. ‘I think you should tell Roberta the truth.’

  ‘Nan, don’t,’ Lynne appealed, stretching out a hand to her.

  Roberta’s gaze darted from one to the other and her stomach seemed to tie itself into a bow. ‘So I’m … I’m right! There is something … something you’ve been keeping from me,’ she said. ‘Is … is this Yank my … my father?’

  ‘Good God, no!’ cried Lynne, starting to her feet. ‘I thought you were good at arithmetic!’ She folded her arms across her chest and began to pace the floor.

  Roberta watched her. ‘Sorry! But what did Nan mean about telling me the truth?’

  An agitated Lynne shot a look at Nan, who said, ‘Sorry, love, but you knew it would come to this one day.’

  Roberta’s heart was thudding and her knees were trembling. ‘Will you tell me what this is all about? Is it that you’re not my mother?’ she asked through stiff lips.

  ‘Don’t be daft! Of course I’m your mother!’ cried Lynne, her eyebrows snapping together. ‘I could have had you adopted but I fought against it. You ask Nan!’

  A bewildered Roberta looked at her elderly relative. ‘What’s she trying to tell me, Nan?’

  ‘That she wasn’t married to your dad when she gave birth to you,’ said Nan.

  Roberta could not speak for several moments. What was her Nan saying – that she was illegitimate? She needed air and breathed in deeply, watching her mother all the time.

  ‘There was a war on,’ whispered Lynne.

  ‘But … but you married him afterwards, didn’t you? I mean, you’re not a Graham like Nan but a Donegan and so am I,’ said Roberta.

  Tears swam in Lynne’s eyes. ‘He … he was killed before we could be married.’

  ‘But … but you’re a widow!’

  ‘No, I’m not,’ said Lynne fiercely. ‘I took your father’s name because I thought we both had a right to it.’

  Roberta sat down abruptly. Her head was spinning with so many differing thoughts that she felt giddy and sick. None of them spoke for what seemed an age and then the world seemed to steady for Roberta. ‘But you loved him and he loved you?’ she asked.

  ‘Of course!’ cried Lynne. ‘But we were both very young! I was only seventeen when you were born and by then Robert had been killed.’

  ‘Only seventeen,’ muttered Roberta. ‘That’s only four years older than I am now!’

  ‘Exactly,’ said Lynne. ‘And I wouldn’t recommend getting into trouble at that age, love.’ She patted her daughter’s knee. ‘Although I wouldn’t swap you for all the tea in China.’

  Roberta blinked back tears and was silent for a long time while her mother and great-grandmother watched her anxiously. Then she took a shuddering breath. ‘What has this Yank to do with us then?’ she demanded.

  ‘Tell her the rest, Lynne, love!’ urged Nan.

  Lynne flashed her an exasperated look. ‘But we don’t know for certain that it’s true.’

  ‘Tell her!’ ordered Nan.

  ‘Bloody hell, Nan! I wish you’d give me a minute to gather my thoughts,’ said Lynne, pushing back a hank of auburn hair.

  Roberta waited impatiently.

  Lynne sighed. ‘Stuart Anderson could have been sent by your grandmother.’

  ‘My grandmother!’

  ‘My mother, your grandmother Graham! She threw me out when I told her I was having a baby.’

  ‘That’s horrible!’ cried Roberta, her expression fierce. ‘It’s a good job you had Nan.’

  ‘Nan was on her travels, so you were born in a charitable home for unmarried mothers in Cheshire,’ said Lynne.

  ‘So that’s what you meant when you spoke about having me adopted?’

  Lynne nodded. ‘I wanted to keep you and so did most of the mothers who gave birth to healthy babies who were in there. Though I remember one girl who seemed glad to be rid of her baby. Fortunately for me Nan turned up in the nick of time and so I was able to leave the home, carrying you in my arms.’ Lynne eased the lump in her throat. ‘You and Nan helped me get through the trauma of losing Robert,’ she said huskily.

  Roberta took a deep breath. ‘You really loved him.’

  ‘I’ve told you so,’ said Lynne, shaking her head at her daughter. ‘Being wartime there were probably thousands of women in the same dilemma. We all had to find different ways of dealing with it.’

  ‘There’s no need for you to feel ashamed, Bobby, love,’ said Nan breathlessly. ‘You or your mother! She could have had you adopted as she said but the pair of us found a way around that and we’ve managed, and although it’s been difficult at times, we have no regrets,’ she wheezed. ‘You brought a lot of love with you.’

  ‘I’m … I’m not ashamed,’ said Roberta, tears sparkling on her eyelashes. ‘I … I feel proud of the pair of you.’ She tilted her chin.

  ‘No one else need know you’re illegitimate,’ said Lynne, touching her daughter’s knee.

  ‘But what about the Yank? He’s looking for Lynne Graham and her daughter and you seem to think he’s connected to your mother,’ said Roberta. ‘Obviously he doesn’t know you’ve taken the name Donegan? Did your mother know that my father had been killed?’

  ‘Oh, yes! I told her but it made no difference. She went on to ma
rry a Yank and sailed off to America! I can’t believe she’s had a change of heart after all this time,’ said Lynne, glancing at Nan. ‘So perhaps we’d be best forgetting all about her and this Stuart Anderson.’ She wiped her damp face with the back of her hand. ‘Now let’s have some tea.’

  ‘No, Mum, you can’t just leave it like that,’ cried Roberta.

  ‘Yes, I can,’ said Lynne, rearing her head. ‘I want nothing to do with my mother. Now I don’t want to hear any more about it from you,’ she added firmly.

  Roberta opened her mouth to protest but then closed it. There was no point in arguing with her mother right now. They’d all had a shock and needed to calm down.

  As Roberta helped set the table for the evening meal, her head still buzzed with the events of day. If she had not decided to go to the library straight from school and called in at the coffee bar, she would have been none the wiser about the Yank and her own status. Illegitimate! Her stomach trembled as she imagined the younger Lynne’s panic at finding herself in trouble. She could not picture herself in such a situation but guessed if it were to happen, then her mother would not be in a position to reject her. Fancy having your own mother do so, she thought, feeling hurt for Lynne. Roberta thought about how fortunate she was that her mother had wanted her and had been able to keep her and felt sorry for all those mothers and babies who had not been so fortunate.

  Seven

  ‘Nick!’ called Kenneth Rogers.

  The youth lifted his fair head from the books spread out on the table and hesitated before standing up and heading for the top of the stairs. ‘D’you want something, Dad?’

  ‘Of course I do, son, otherwise I wouldn’t be shouting you.’

  ‘It’s just that I’m doing my homework.’

  ‘Leave it for a moment. I won’t keep you long. I just need your help to move these planks of wood that came in this afternoon. A customer could fall over them where they are and injure themselves.’

  ‘Coming!’ shouted Nick, and clattered down the stairs to the shop below.

  Kenneth looked relieved as Nick seized hold of the end of one of the smoothly planed planks of pinewood and between them they carried it into the storeroom behind the shop. They repeated the action several times before the man with greying hair eased his back and then sat down on a chair, stifling a yawn. ‘Will you check whether all the doors are bolted top and bottom?’ he asked.