It's Now or Never

by June Francis

‘Miss Wilson, it’s good to see you!’

  Sam stared at the man who was blocking the entrance to the pub.

  ‘Mr Anderson!’ Dorothy’s hand tightened on Sam’s arm. ‘I didn’t expect to see you here!’

  ‘Did you know this place used to be a gin palace?’ said Stuart, jerking a thumb in the direction of the ornate facade of the public house.

  ‘Who told you that?’ she asked.

  ‘The barman! He was filling me in on some of its history. I’m discovering different stuff about Liverpool from the last time I was here.’ He grinned. ‘I also dropped by at the coffee bar further along Hope Street which wasn’t there at the time, too. No swell jukebox. I was hoping to talk to the waitress about the mother and daughter I’m trying to trace but she was at college.’ He pulled a face. ‘I should have thought of that.’

  ‘You’ve just missed the mother, Mr Anderson. She was at your hotel,’ said Sam.

  ‘Darn it!’ said Stuart.

  ‘She’s left her business card with Mrs McDonald,’ said Sam.

  Instantly Stuart’s expression brightened. ‘I’d better get back there right away. Thanks, Mr …?’

  ‘Walker! Sam Walker.’

  The two men shook hands.

  ‘It sure is a pleasure coming across you like this, Mr Walker,’ said the American.

  ‘Listen, Mr Anderson, is this about her mother?’

  ‘Why d’you ask that? Has she mentioned my stepmother to you?’

  ‘When she heard an American was looking for her, she considered it likely that it had to do with her mother.’

  Stuart sighed heavily. ‘It sure is grief to my father that he should only have learnt about Lynne’s existence after Ellen was at death’s door.’

  ‘So her mother is dead?’ Sam frowned.

  Stuart nodded. ‘I’d best say no more right now.’

  ‘I understand.’ Sam hesitated before saying, ‘Tell me, Mr Anderson, what line of business are you in?’

  ‘I’m an architect with my pa’s company. I haven’t long finished my training, what with having spent time in the air force. Pa wanted me to try and find Lynne and her daughter and ask them to come over to California,’ said Stuart. ‘Not straight away, mind. He also wanted me to make the most of my time this side of the Atlantic and spend some time in Europe, looking at the architecture and seeing what’s being done to replace the buildings that were destroyed during the war.’

  ‘That sounds interesting,’ said Sam.

  ‘I’m really looking forward to it, especially now I know I can send Pa the news that he’s been waiting for.’ Stuart smiled. ‘I’d best be off now.’ With a wave of the hand, he hurried away.

  ‘Well, that was informative,’ said Sam, pushing the pub door and holding it open for Dorothy.

  ‘You can never forget you’re a detective, can you?’ said Dorothy with a sigh.

  ‘I’m interested in people.’ He gazed down at her with an unfathomable expression. ‘You think there’s something wrong with that? I thought getting to know about people is part of your line of work, too.’

  ‘Yes, but …’

  ‘But what? I haven’t anything against the Yanks,’ said Sam. ‘They might have been overpaid, oversexed and over here but Dad’s always said that we wouldn’t have won the war without them.’

  ‘Our country’s up to its eyes in debt to them,’ said Dorothy.

  Sam did not argue. ‘But they never dropped bombs on us and killed my girl,’ he said, going on ahead and finding them a table.

  Dorothy caught up with him and sat down in the chair he pulled out for her. ‘You still think of Carol as your girl?’ she asked.

  ‘I was thinking of then. What are you having to drink? Gin and tonic?’

  ‘I might as well, seeing as this used to be a gin palace,’ she murmured.

  ‘You always have a gin and tonic,’ said Sam.

  He returned shortly with their drinks and, after placing them on the table, excused himself. She presumed he was going to the men’s lavatory which was supposed to be really something, designed at a time when it was mainly men who frequented this place. He was away longer than she liked and she began to feel on edge, thinking of Lynne and his conversation with Stuart Anderson. She drank her gin and tonic much too quickly and it was a relief when he returned, bearing a tray with two plates of steaming food.

  ‘I hope you don’t mind me not asking what you’d like?’ he said, smiling. ‘But I had to go into a different room for the food.’

  ‘I would have liked to have been asked because I need to watch my weight but this looks good,’ she said, feeling suddenly in a better mood because he was smiling at her in that way she always found so engaging.

  They did not talk while they ate. Having gone through a war when food was in short supply and often tasteless, such a meal was to be savoured. Only when they had finished eating did Dorothy ask, ‘Do you ever talk about Carol to anyone else?’

  ‘No.’ He offered the packet of Players to her. ‘I’m not really in touch with anyone else who knew her.’ He paused to light her cigarette. ‘Look, Dot, I didn’t mean to hurt you, if that’s what I did, when I referred to Carol as my girl. Those days are gone and now we’ve the chance of building up a good life, the two of us together, if that’s what we both want. My difficulty is in not knowing for certain that it is what you want. This career move on your part …’ He paused to light his own cigarette and inhaled before adding, ‘There’s our Hester and Jeanette both desperate to get married while you don’t seem in any rush.’ He sighed.

  Dorothy felt enormously guilty and reached out to him. ‘I’m sorry! Sometimes I don’t understand what drives me, myself.’ She covered his free hand with hers. ‘I do want us to have a life together but there were years when we weren’t in touch and I was building up my career. You have to admit, Sam, that you’d hate to give up your job and stay at home and do housework.’

  He smiled and squeezed her hand. ‘There’s no argument about that.’

  ‘I know but times are a-changing. Two wars have seen to that and thousands of women did men’s jobs then and discovered they liked earning their own money and didn’t want to stay at home, either alone or with the children.’

  ‘Someone has to do it. You have to remember that I was brought up with a mother who was ailing all the time and couldn’t cope with all that needed doing and so Great-aunt Ethel moved in. She took over and my life was hell.’ His expression was grim. ‘Can you blame me for wanting a wife who’s a homemaker and who’d be a caring mother to my children?’

  ‘I don’t blame you, Sam, but as I said, a lot of women want more than that these days.’

  ‘I realize that and it’s why I’m being patient and letting you do your own thing before we get married,’ said Sam.

  She felt a spurt of anger. ‘You’re letting me? Well, that’s really generous of you, darling.’ She stubbed out her cigarette in the ash tray.

  ‘You know what I mean,’ said Sam harshly. ‘I’ve had to accept you putting your career before me. It’s not surprising that I’m feeling bloody frustrated.’ He stubbed out his cigarette and stood up.

  ‘Where are you going?’ she whispered, aware of listening ears.

  He rested his hands on the edge of the table. ‘I’m going to the lav,’ he murmured. ‘Think about what I’ve said while I’m gone.’

  Suddenly the remembrance of that afternoon when they’d had sex filled her thoughts and she grabbed his sleeve. ‘Did you ever do it with Carol?’ she whispered.

  He did not pretend to misunderstand what she was talking about. ‘She was saving herself for marriage,’ he said beneath his breath.

  ‘I should have done that instead of having sex with you,’ said Dorothy with a wry smile. ‘But I needed comforting and I couldn’t resist you. You were very attractive even then, you know!’

  ‘We took a terrible risk,’ said Sam, meeting her gaze. ‘Have you ever told anyone what we did that afternoon?’

  ‘Of cour
se not! It was our secret.’

  For several moments they were both silent.

  ‘Did that dressmaker talk to you about her fella?’ asked Dorothy abruptly.

  Sam blinked at her. ‘What’s she to do with this?’

  ‘She’s about our age and hasn’t she a teenage daughter?’

  ‘Did Hester tell you that?’

  Dorothy nodded. ‘We all thought there was no tomorrow during the war, just like in the song.’

  Sam straightened up. ‘I’ve been standing here long enough. I’ll be back soon. Don’t go away!’

  She stared after him, thinking about his mention of being frustrated. He probably didn’t give any thought to her being sexually frustrated, which she would be if there hadn’t been a couple of other men in her life – not that she had ever gone all the way with them – and for her having been so set on succeeding in her career.

  She sighed; she had to think of a way to bring him around so she could have her cake and eat it. She really wanted to do this film, and besides she was committed because she had signed a contract. What she hadn’t told him was that the company also had the option of her appearing in another film if she made a good job of this role.

  When Sam returned to the table with another gin and tonic for her and a coffee for himself, she said, ‘I was just thinking.’

  ‘I’ve been thinking too, but you go first,’ said Sam.

  ‘I’ll forget about making the documentary and we can get married earlier.’ She waited for him to say That’s great! but he just stared at her for several long seconds.

  Then he said, ‘You had your heart set on making the documentary about the women of Liverpool.’

  She sighed. ‘I know but your happiness is of more importance to me.’

  ‘You really mean that?’

  She nodded and waited and still he did not say the words she expected of him. He sipped his coffee and when the cup was empty, said, ‘I’m going to have to go soon.’

  Exasperated, she said, ‘A case, is it? One nobody can solve but you?’

  ‘That’s right,’ he said, his eyes gleaming. ‘I’m determined to make inspector this year.’

  ‘So it’s all right for you to be ambitious but not me?’ she blurted out.

  Sam looked startled. ‘Why are you saying that? It’s you that’s just made the decision not to make the documentary so we can be married sooner.’ He hesitated. ‘Could it be that you’ve something else in mind?’

  Her heart seemed to flip over. Surely he couldn’t read her mind? ‘I don’t know what you mean, Sam.’ She adopted an injured tone.

  He was silent but continued to stare at her intently and then said abruptly, ‘I really am going to have to go.’

  ‘I’ll walk part of the way with you,’ she said, getting to her feet.

  They went outside.

  ‘Why can’t we just live in the moment?’ she asked abruptly. ‘I won’t be starting filming until after Hester’s wedding.’

  He gazed down at her. ‘I had been thinking that we could spend a couple of days away together.’

  She smiled. ‘You mean as Mr and Mrs Smith?’

  He grinned. ‘No, I didn’t think you’d want to risk that when you’ve this film coming up. See how self-sacrificing I am? I was thinking more of a trip to Whalley where Hester and Ally are going to live after they’re married. I’ve never been there and I’d like to see the cottage. I’ve been told it’s lovely country round about.’

  She was disappointed. ‘You want to stay in the country? I’d prefer Blackpool.’

  ‘I’d prefer you not to go swanning off on location to Italy. I think I deserve to choose the location for us having a break together if you’re going to have what you want.’

  She knew he had a point and so, reaching up, she stood on tiptoe and placed her arms around his neck. ‘All right, we’ll do what you want, darling Sam.’ She kissed him.

  Slowly his arms went round her waist and the kiss deepened. Then he released her abruptly. ‘I’ll wangle a couple of days off soon and we can take the car and have fun together.’

  ‘What if it snows?’

  ‘One can have fun in the snow.’ He tilted her chin and kissed her lightly. ‘I’ll be in touch.’

  ‘OK!’ She watched him stride off down Hardman Street, thinking of two whole days in a country village and with little sign of spring. Still, there would be opportunity for plenty of canoodling and perhaps Hester and Ally would be there and she got on with them both. One thing was for certain and that was that they were unlikely to bump into Lynne up there.

  Eleven

  Lynne could not settle. She was supposed to be working but had so far done little beyond hemming the two skirts on the sewing machine that Nan had tacked. She kept stopping and thinking, not only of Stuart Anderson and whether he had been given her card, but also of Hester’s brother and the effect that he’d had on her. She had never really looked at another man in that way since Robert had been killed and so it really bothered her that she should find Sam Walker so attractive. Especially as he was dating that actress, Dorothy Wilson, who could knock socks off Lynne when it came to allure.

  The sound of someone at the front door caused her to almost jump out of her skin. She broke a thread and swore silently before rising from her chair. Going over to the window, she lifted the bottom of the net curtain and peered out.

  Standing outside on the step was a strange man. The fact that he was wearing a black trilby and a belted raincoat was enough for her to drop the curtain and sink on to a chair. She had not expected him so soon but there was nothing for it but for her to go to the door and let him in. After all he had come all the way from America to find her and Bobby. Taking several deep breaths and smoothing down her skirt and hair, she hurried to the front door.

  For several moments both of them just stood there, staring at each other. Then a slow smile lifted the corners of Stuart’s mouth and he said, ‘You’re like your mother.’

  ‘Only in looks. We aren’t a bit alike really,’ she could not help saying.

  ‘Well, I wouldn’t know that, Lynne, this being the first time we’ve met.’

  ‘Of course, you’re right,’ she said, feeling slightly embarrassed. ‘Do come in.’ She held the door wide. ‘Although, I doubt this house is what you’re used to.’

  ‘I know why you say that,’ he said, stepping over the threshold. ‘You watch too many American movies.’

  ‘You’re telling me that America doesn’t have everything bigger and better?’

  ‘Nope, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of where you come from. My grandpa was a first generation American. His pa came from Argyllshire from what was just a stone croft in the hills.’

  ‘I’m not ashamed,’ said Lynne, tilting her chin. ‘May I take your coat and hat?’

  ‘Thanks!’ He took them off and handed them to her. Underneath he was wearing a Harris tweed suit in a heather mixture, a cream shirt and a beige and brown tartan tie. His hair was thick and wavy and she was reminded of a big friendly woolly dog.

  ‘No kilt?’ she said with a hint of humour.

  ‘I admit I was tempted.’ He chuckled and changed the subject. ‘I was beginning to think I’d never set eyes on you. If it weren’t for Betty at the coffee bar and your daughter …’

  ‘Roberta,’ said Lynne. ‘I named her after her father. May I offer you a drink? Only tea, I’m afraid. Unless you like Camp coffee with chicory essence?’

  ‘Camp coffee will be fine. I remember having it when I was over here after the war. You know it was a Scotsman who invented it?’

  ‘Of course, it has a picture of one on the label.’ She led him into the parlour. ‘I think we’ll talk in here. My grandmother is in the other room and she’s asleep. If she wakes, then she’ll keep interrupting while you’re talking.’ She waved him to a chair and excused herself.

  She was back in a jiffy and they settled facing each other with cup in hand. She was surprised at how comfortable she felt in his comp
any, despite feeling slightly apprehensive about what he had to tell her. ‘Well?’ she asked.

  ‘I never expected to return to Liverpool,’ he said after a hesitation, ‘but Pa was set on finding you and your daughter.’

  ‘Not my mother – is she dead?’

  He nodded.

  A tremor went through her and unexpectedly she felt a lump in her throat.

  ‘Sorry, but I gather there was no love lost between you.’

  She nodded.

  From a pocket he took a photograph and handed it to her. ‘Your mother married my father and this is them and me with my grandparents.’

  Lynne gazed at a younger but recognizable Stuart with her mother, Ellen, who was smiling, a man who had a faint resemblance to Stuart and an elderly couple. They were posed against the backdrop of a white painted house with a garden that appeared to be full of flowers as well as several trees that she thought were orange trees.

  ‘How did she die? Was she ill? She looks so well in this photograph.’

  ‘No, she was mauled by a bear while she and Pa were camping in the Rockies.’

  Lynne could not believe it and had an urge to laugh. ‘I can’t believe my mother went camping! She wasn’t that kind of woman.’

  ‘People change,’ said Stuart, sipping his drink.

  ‘I wouldn’t deny that, but my mother – camping!’ This time an incredulous laugh did break from Lynne. ‘It’s impossible that she could have been killed by a bear. What did it do? Hug her to death?’ She clapped a hand to her mouth. ‘I shouldn’t have said that, what an awful thing to say!’

  ‘You’re in shock,’ said Stuart, starting to his feet. ‘Have you any brandy?’

  She shook her head. ‘I’m all right, honestly. Just allow me a few moments to take this in.’

  They were both silent for what seemed an age and then Lynne said, ‘Mother told you about the old school, I suppose, and that I was a pupil there?’

  ‘She’d kept a photograph of when you were a school girl.’

  ‘She kept that photograph!’ Lynne could scarcely believe it.

  ‘Pa believes it was because she was so proud of you winning a place at her old school. Your name and that of the school and the date were written on the back of the photo. I brought it with me and then I misplaced it. I found it again when I was in Scotland. I’d used it as a marker in a book of maps.’ He placed the photograph in question on the table in front of her. ‘Pa was really shocked when he discovered she’d kept you and your daughter a secret from us all that time but he kept his feelings to himself because of the state she was in.’ A shadow crossed Stuart’s face. ‘I was sorry when she died as she was kind and always interested in what I was up to. She told me that she’d always wanted a son.’