It's Now or Never

by June Francis

  ‘Yes, I think it was after I told him about Robert.’

  ‘You have been having a heart to heart, the pair of you!’

  Lynne shrugged. ‘I find him easy to talk to and my daughter likes him, too. She calls him Sergeant Sam but that’s going to have to change. He’s just been made an inspector.’

  ‘Has he by God! So he’s achieved his dream.’ Dorothy closed her eyes and then opened them wide. ‘Tell me, how did Sam react to you being honest with him?’

  ‘He understood why I pretended I was a widow, though I could see it came as a shock at first. In return he told me about Carol.’

  Dorothy frowned. ‘I suppose you’re in love with Sam?’

  ‘Yes, I love him. Do you?’ asked Lynne, gazing at her squarely.

  A slight smile lifted the corners of Dorothy’s mouth. ‘You’re wishing I’d stayed away. I bet you’re worried that I only have to snap my fingers for Sam to come running.’

  ‘You’re not right for him, you know you’re not! Why don’t you just go away and play at being someone else and leave us in peace!’ snapped Lynne. ‘You’ll mess him all up again if you stay. Even if you did make a baby together, it doesn’t make you the perfect couple!’

  Lynne’s words struck Dorothy like a blow and she was gripped by the same fear she had felt when she’d had her accident and when she had been unable to persuade Sam to come to Italy or to get in touch with him earlier. ‘And what if I don’t go away? You’ll tell him I had his son adopted? Well, it won’t work because he won’t want to believe it. He loves me and would prefer to believe what I tell him!’

  Lynne thought of Sam and his desire for a family. She thought of Nick and his finding his adoptive father murdered and how he must have worried about what his horrible uncle might do to him. What a relief it must have been when Sam sorted matters out for him! Had Sam finally recognized Nick as another lad like himself? Had he been hurt?

  Anger surged through her like a tidal wave. ‘You’d do anything to get what you want, wouldn’t you? I want Sam to be happy and I believe we can be happy together with you out of the way.’

  ‘You’re deluding yourself!’

  ‘Is she?’ Sam’s voice caused the two women to whirl round and stare at him standing in the doorway. For several tense moments none of them spoke.

  Then Dorothy said, ‘Sam darling, I broke my arm!’ She held it up.

  ‘So I see.’ His brown eyes were unfathomable. ‘It’s not the only thing you’ve done, is it?’

  She hesitated. ‘How much did you hear, Sam?’

  ‘More than you’d like. I don’t think I need to ask why you never told me you were pregnant.’

  She took a deep breath. ‘I suppose not. But I wasn’t only thinking of myself but you, too.’

  ‘I’d like to believe that but I’m not sure I do.’ His expression was grim. ‘Not that it matters now. It’s all over between us.’

  A muscle in Dorothy’s throat twitched. For a moment she could not speak and then she managed to say, ‘I thought this would happen as soon as I saw Lynne with you at the hotel.’

  ‘Did you? Yet you never said a word to her, whereas you could have befriended her. I can assure you that she never said a word against you behind your back.’

  ‘I was tempted,’ Lynne put in.

  He flashed her a smile. ‘I wouldn’t want you perfect.’

  ‘No, perfection would be difficult to live with,’ she said wryly.

  ‘Oh, stop it!’ cried Dorothy. ‘Don’t you two realize that I could lose everything? Not just you, Sam, but my career! I have to do well with this film and breaking my arm meant rewrites. It wasn’t the first thing that went wrong and they might decide I’m a jinx. They could change their minds about featuring me in their next film.’

  ‘Truthfully, my dear Dorothy, I don’t give a damn!’ said Sam, his eyes glinting. ‘It’s time you thought of someone else besides yourself. What about the film about Liverpool women you made such a hoo-ha about? You’ve interviewed members of my family as well as others who got all excited about it. Obviously you’ve stopped caring if that goes up the Swanee as long as you can be a big star!’

  ‘That’s not true,’ said Dorothy weakly.

  ‘Liar!’ said Sam scornfully.

  ‘Don’t you two start bickering,’ said Lynne hastily, turning off the gas under the kettle. ‘You’ll be waking Aunt Ethel up.’

  Sam reached out to Lynne and brought her against him. ‘You’re right. It’s not worth the effort of arguing; it’s all over now. I’m hungry, is there any food on the go?’

  ‘It’s all this upset,’ said Lynne, pressing her lips against his. ‘But I’m sure we can work things out.’

  ‘Oh, this is marvellous,’ said Dorothy crossly. ‘Now the pair of you are behaving as if I no longer exist. Well thank you very much! I thought I meant something to you, Sam. You said you loved me. God knows you were desperate enough to get me married and playing the role of the little woman at home for you. You’ve changed your tune pretty quick. Well, I can tell you now, I’d no intention of marrying you, Sam. You were nothing more than a diversion and a mildly entertaining one at that. Now, if you’d just phone for a taxi, I’ll leave you and the little dressmaker to plan your visions of domestic bliss.’

  These last words were delivered with an imperious tone but they failed to hit their mark. Reluctantly, Sam released Lynne and looked at Dorothy. ‘It’s your left arm that’s broken, not you’re right. Make the phone call yourself.’

  But, for all her acting skills, Dorothy was having trouble maintaining this performance; her bottom lip trembled and tears filled her eyes. ‘I always thought you were a gentleman, if nothing else.’

  ‘I don’t trust you not to say something bitchy to Lynne, once I’m out of the room,’ he said.

  ‘I’ll make the call,’ said Lynne, and left the back kitchen.

  Sam turned his back on Dorothy and poured hot water into the teapot. ‘I don’t suppose you want a cup of tea?’

  ‘Do you hate me? Really hate me?’ asked Dorothy, a tremor in her voice.

  ‘Knowing what I do now, I think that hate is perhaps too strong a word. Forgiving you for not making me aware earlier that I had a son is a more difficult question to answer. I would have been even more angry and hurt if I had known say six months ago that you’d had my son and had him adopted.’

  ‘Why, what’s changed? Is it Lynne? You think she can give you a son? You don’t understand what a difficult choice it was for me to do what I did but then I didn’t have much in the way of choices.’

  ‘You could have told me and I’d have married you.’

  ‘I knew that and I think I still made the right decision.’

  ‘Little as I hate to agree with you, I do so now,’ said Sam. ‘I hope it all works out for you, Dot.’

  ‘I believe you mean that.’ Her eyes glistened. ‘Tarrah, Sam. Good luck.’

  In the kitchen Aunt Ethel was still asleep.

  Dorothy reached for her handbag and delved inside and by the time Lynne put down the phone, Dorothy had lit a cigarette. ‘I have a question to ask,’ she said.

  ‘What?’ asked Lynne.

  ‘How did you manage to sound so certain that Sam was the father?’

  For a moment Lynne just stared at her and then asked, ‘Where are you going when you leave here?’

  ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’

  ‘Why don’t you go and eat at Lenny’s place?’

  ‘Lenny won’t be open at this time of evening.’

  ‘Want to bet?’ said Lynne softly. ‘Go and have a look. You’ll get a surprise.’

  Dorothy stared at her. ‘You think there’s something between me and Lenny?’

  ‘I hear you believe men and women can be friends. I think you’re in need of a friend,’ Lynne said. ‘I wish you luck.’

  Dorothy murmured, ‘Thanks. I’d wish you the same, only I do believe you have all the luck you need right now.’ She stood up. ‘I’ll wai
t outside for the taxi. Goodbye.’

  ‘Tarrah.’

  Lynne returned to the back kitchen and Sam. ‘You all right?’ she asked.

  ‘Yeah!’ His tight expression relaxed.

  ‘Now you must be really hungry. I’ve a casserole with mutton chops, sliced potatoes and other vegetables in onion gravy in the oven. Will that do you or is there anything else you’d like?’

  He brought her close, thinking how he had always been careful not to overstep the mark but now he sensed that Lynne was as hungry for him as he was for her, so he kissed her with a lack of restraint.

  After a delicious interlude during which not one word was spoken, she said huskily, ‘I take it that was for starters.’

  ‘You bet! Now let’s sit down and eat. We’ve a lot to discuss,’ said Sam. ‘Such as will you marry me?’

  ‘Yes, please,’ Lynne answered, looping her arms around his neck and kissing him. ‘Tell me, do you think there’s a possibility that Nick is your son?’

  He stilled. ‘You’ve seen the likeness, too? When I did, I thought I was imagining it. Especially as no one else said anything and I couldn’t think how to broach the subject with you. Anyway, when I discovered he was adopted and I had already noticed that he was double-jointed the same as me, and had my colour of hair and eyes, what else could I suspect but that Dorothy had got pregnant and kept it a secret from me?’

  Lynne nodded. ‘Yes, I understand that.’

  ‘Let’s eat,’ he said abruptly. ‘We’ll talk some more later.’

  They were silent as they ate the first course. Sam was extremely appreciative of her cooking as she cleared the plates. Then she took a rice pudding from the oven.

  ‘This looks great!’ He gazed down at the crispy brown skin on the pudding and sniffed the nutmeg sprinkled on it with satisfaction. He picked up his spoon. ‘You definitely know the way to a man’s heart.’

  Lynne smiled. ‘It’s good to be appreciated.’ She kissed him before dishing out the rice pudding. ‘Thinking of Nick, he and Bobby were born within minutes of each other, you know. I remember he was a lovely baby and he’s a good-looking and charming youth,’ she added softly. ‘And he’ll grow into a handsome man like his father.’

  Sam cleared his throat. ‘Flatterer.’

  ‘It’s true!’ She paused and picked up her spoon. ‘What are we going to do about him?’

  Sam sighed. ‘He seems happy with the Nuttalls.’

  Hearing that sigh, Lynne said, ‘He could be happy with us. We could adopt him. But if you think it’s best if we leave things as they are, then, of course, we will.’

  ‘I’d like to claim him as my son but how do I go about it? He’s bound to ask questions – and can I ever take the place of the man who was a father to him until a few months ago?’

  ‘There’s no question of that! I’m sure Kenneth Rogers will always hold a special place in his heart. Your position is different. Nick already admires you tremendously and wants to follow in your footsteps,’ said Lynne. ‘He’ll have asked himself questions and …’

  Sam paled. ‘He’ll ask me who his mother is! Oh my God, let’s think about this.’

  Twenty-Seven

  Even before Dorothy reached the coffee bar she could see teenagers dancing on the pavement to the sound of music coming from inside. Loud music! The kind that she reckoned could damage your eardrums if you listened to it long enough. Mambo Italiano! She hesitated outside the open door before taking a deep breath and going inside.

  The place was jammed with youngsters. Crammed into a corner were the music group whom she recognized from Hester’s wedding. Then to her dismay she spotted Jeanette dancing with Davy and she wanted out of there. But before she could turn and leave, she felt a tap on the shoulder.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ shouted Lenny. ‘I thought you were still in Italy.’

  ‘I broke my arm!’ She held up the plastered limb. ‘I’ve only just got back. We’ve finished shooting over there.’

  ‘That’s tough.’ He looked sympathetic. ‘What about Sam? Does he know you’re here?’

  ‘What?’ She put her hand to her right ear as if she could not hear what he was saying. She had heard him all right, but wanted to get him alone.

  Lenny grabbed her right arm and forced a way through teenagers, tables and chairs to the kitchen. The heat hit her in the face and she felt sweat prickle out all over her body. She thought she was going to faint and then he was leading her through a storeroom to the open door that led into a yard where there were crates, some containing empty bottles and cardboard boxes.

  ‘Is that better?’ he asked, sitting her down on an upturned crate.

  She nodded. ‘I’m all mixed up, Lenny.’ She delved into her handbag and took out her cigarette case. She offered it to him but he shook his head.

  ‘Do you want me to light your cigarette for you?’ he asked.

  She thanked him.

  He flicked her lighter and held her hand steady while he lit her cigarette, then dropped the lighter into her handbag. He upturned another crate and said, ‘Why are you here?’

  ‘Lynne suggested I came.’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘Lynne! I see.’

  ‘Do you?’ Her face crumpled and tears filled her eyes. ‘I thought this film was going to be my big break but then to go and break my arm was such a stupid thing to do,’ she said, prevaricating.

  ‘Are you telling me that they chucked you off the set?’ he said in disbelief.

  ‘No!’ She puffed jerkily on her cigarette. ‘But it wasn’t the first stupid mistake I’ve made and I’m worried they’ll see me as a jinx.’

  ‘Surely it was an accident and their insurance will cover it?’

  ‘Yes, but even so …’ She sighed.

  ‘You mentioned Lynne.’

  ‘Yes, Lynne.’ She flicked ash from her cigarette. ‘She’s felt like a thorn in my flesh since I set eyes on her again. Now I feel I’m at a crossroads in my life. I had hoped Sam would take a few days off and come up to Scotland with me, but …’

  Lenny gave a twisted smile. ‘Hah! We’re getting to the nitty-gritty now, are we? I’d heard that he and Lynne were enjoying each other’s company. You’ve only yourself to blame if you really wanted to hang on to him. I bet you lost your temper when you saw them together. I thought you’d learnt control.’

  ‘I have!’ She pouted.

  ‘I remember when you were a kid, clouting one of the lads because he got you out in a game of rounders.’

  ‘Trust you to remember that.’ She drew in a shuddering breath. ‘I could do with a drink.’

  ‘That won’t solve your problems but I’ve some sherry.’

  ‘Sherry! Haven’t you any gin?’

  He shook his head. ‘I hate the taste of gin. And I can’t stay out here long because of the kids inside.’

  ‘I thought you’d help me! I thought you’d listen and understand and give me some advice. I think he’ll marry her now and I’m left feeling all mixed up.’

  ‘Why don’t you tell me the whole story? But you’ll have to be quick about it,’ he warned. ‘I’ve a business to run and having live music is a new venture.’

  Dorothy did not know whether she wanted to laugh or cry. ‘My life is falling apart and all you can think of is live music!’

  ‘Don’t be melodramatic!’

  She gulped. ‘Lynne knows something about me that could ruin my career if it came out,’ she said in tragic tones.

  ‘And that would be a shame,’ said Lenny, his tone gentling.

  She opened her eyes. ‘I’m glad you feel like that. I need a friend but I’ve always found it difficult making friends of women. Carol was the only close friend I ever had.’

  ‘Sam’s girlfriend?’

  ‘Yes, and it was terrible for both of us when she was killed.’

  He fixed her with a stare. ‘And so you comforted each other and we know where that can lead.’

  She found herself blushing. ‘I don’t know what you
mean!’

  ‘Don’t come the innocent with me! You know what I mean.’

  ‘OK, so I know what you mean.’ Dorothy dropped her cigarette stub and ground it out with her heel. ‘I had hoped I’d never meet her again!’

  ‘Then the only thing I can think of is that you got yourself into trouble. Had a baby and you gave him up for adoption,’ said Lenny bluntly.

  She let out a squeal. ‘How d’you know? And keep your voice down; someone will hear you!’

  ‘I doubt it with the racket in there. So it’s true,’ said Lenny, getting up. ‘I’d better get back inside or the kids’ll be dancing on the tables next.’

  ‘Is that all you can say?’ she whispered, following him inside and plonking herself down on a chair in the kitchen.

  ‘What else do you want me to say?’ asked Lenny. ‘I presume you and Lynne met when you were in hospital giving birth?’

  ‘Near enough! What am I going to do? What if it were to get out?’

  ‘I can’t see Lynne spreading the word.’

  She sighed. ‘No, you’re right. What’s really upset me is what Sam said about me letting people down over the film about Liverpool women I was going to make.’

  ‘I see. Why can’t you make it?’

  ‘Because there’s a clause in my contract that they have the option on my being in the next film they make and they could go into production almost immediately after this one is finished.’

  He stared at her in disbelief. ‘But you were going on before about them thinking you a jinx! Surely they wouldn’t want you if that were true, and so you could make your film here in Liverpool if you’ve got the dosh?’

  ‘But I want them to want me! I still want to be a famous international actress but I feel I should do what I set out to do and make that documentary.’ She gnawed on her lip. ‘After all, I’ve done the interviews with the women of today. There’s some real good stories there.’ Her eyes lit up. ‘Honestly, Lenny, real good.’

  ‘And Liverpool could do with a boost,’ he said.

  She nodded. ‘So what do I do?’

  ‘Stop presuming they see you as a jinx and won’t want you for the next film. You’re still going up to Scotland, aren’t you?’