by Lisa Harris
The smoky light from the lantern that lay on the mantel above her fell across the page as Lidia thumbed through. She had no interest at the moment in editorials or fashion advice. A fancy dress to “sweep him off his feet” as the article promised would do nothing to bring back her brother. About to set the paper on the hearth, a small notice on the back page caught her eye.
Wife Wanted
Decent hardworking rancher is looking for a good Christian woman to join me on my large homestead in New Mexico. No drinkers or smokers. Seeking companionship and help on ranch. Suitable candidates please respond to the following address. Sincerely, Jonathan Washington Smith
Lidia ran her finger across the newsprint. She’d glanced at similar ads in the personals column of newspapers and never given them another thought besides wondering what kind of desperate woman would have the nerve to answer them.
Now she knew.
For the first time in her life, agreeing to marry someone she’d never met seemed far from ridiculous. In fact, it just might be the answer to her prayers—a way to completely start over. Laughter rang out from the kitchen, but she ignored the happy sounds. Surely she could find a good man who was in need of a faithful companion and who would be willing to take in her brother, as well. As long as he was treated kindly, Koby would earn his keep.
Pulling the paper to her chest, Lidia let out a deep sigh. How exactly did such an arrangement work? A short courtship by correspondence followed by a loveless proposal? The thought was far from appealing. Her childish dreams of her romantic champion coming to her rescue, falling in love, then living happily ever after would have to be forgotten. Romance wouldn’t be a factor in such a formal transaction.
But what other option did she have? What would the people of Cranton think now that they knew her brother had murdered one of their own? No, she had no option but to leave, and while the very idea made her sick to her stomach, becoming a mail-order bride did hold a solution.
Engrossed in her thoughts, Lidia started as someone entered the room.
“Hello.” Michaela dipped her head to gaze into Lidia’s eyes. “How are you doing?”
Lidia shrugged her shoulders. Michaela handed her a plate with a gooey cinnamon roll, then sat on the brick hearth across from her. “I need your expert opinion. How is it?”
The newspaper slid to the floor as Lidia forced herself to take a small bite. “It’s wonderful as always.”
Michaela reached out to pick up the fallen paper, then balanced it on her knees. “I was afraid I might have added too much brown sugar this time.”
Lidia couldn’t help but reveal the hint of a smile at the comment. Michaela had already found out that brown sugar was one of her weaknesses. “That, as you know, would be impossible.”
“Are you all right?” Michaela leaned forward, and the light from the lantern captured the reddish highlights in her hair.
“I will be.”
“Let me know if you need anything. I’m here for you. We all are.”
“Thank you.” The reassurances from her employer helped, but they still weren’t enough to bring Jarek back.
Michaela glanced at the paper, a puzzled furrow lining her brow. She held the paper up in front of her. “Don’t tell me you’ve been reading advertisements for mail-order brides.”
“I …”
What could Lidia say? She wouldn’t lie, and yet such an admission would only hurt Michaela and her family if they knew that not only had she been reading them but also seriously considering such an option.
When did life get so complicated, God, that I’ve begun to see the benefits in becoming a mail-order bride?
Lidia chewed on her bottom lip. “I’ve always thought them quite … amusing.”
That was true, at least.
Michaela reached up to tame a curl that had escaped the confines of her hairpins. “My best friend, Caroline, and I used to read these every week, trying to read between the lines.”
“What do you mean, read between the lines?” Lidia set the plate in her lap, unable to take another bite of the sweet bread, no matter how delicious it might be.
“Think about it.” She tapped her fingernails against the paper. “A man, or woman for that matter, can say anything they want in a personal advertisement or letter. For all you know, Mr. …” She glanced again at the wording. “Mr. Smith is twice your age and lives in a run-down shack in the middle of the scorching New Mexico desert.”
“How do you know—” Lidia choked out a laugh at the realization. “That’s reading between the lines?”
Michaela nodded. “And no doubt he wants companionship, but more than likely he wants someone to cook his dinner and wash his clothes.”
“Slop the pigs and can vegetables?”
Michaela’s grin widened. “You’re getting the picture.”
“I don’t know.” Lidia shrugged a shoulder and let her fingers play with a loose thread on her skirt. “Jonathan Washington Smith … it’s a nice name. He might really live on a huge ranch and simply be lonely—”
“And you might simply be trying to run away from your problems.”
The truth hit hard. “My brother’s dead, and I know people aren’t saying good things about him … about me and Koby.”
“It’s not fair, is it?” Michaela rested her hand on Lidia’s shoulder and caught her gaze. “There will always be those who find reasons to look down on others. I know how bad it hurts to lose someone you love so much, no matter what the circumstances. I’ve had my times of grieving, and it was never easy. Cry, scream, do whatever you need to do, but don’t run away from the people who love you and care about you.”
Lidia felt the tears begin to swell in the corners of her eyes. “I don’t know if I can stay.”
“Listen.” Michaela reached out and gripped Lidia’s hand as Koby’s distinct laugh rang out from the kitchen, filling the recesses of her heart. “Your brother’s thriving, and both of you are surrounded by people who love you like family. Don’t throw it all away because you’re afraid of what tomorrow might bring.
“Let God’s Spirit work within you to bring you the strength you need for today. Then let Him help you again tomorrow and the next day. You can’t do it alone, Lidia, and I can promise you that Jonathan Washington Smith doesn’t care for you the way our family does.”
Lidia squeezed her eyes shut to stop the flow of tears. She crinkled the edge of the paper and bit her lip. She understood Mrs. Johnson’s concerns that answering an advertisement for a mail-order bride might not be the solution to her situation, but surely it wouldn’t hurt to write Mr. Smith a letter.
twelve
Adam rounded the bend of the road that led to the Johnson farmhouse and let the warm spring air fill his lungs. The wagon jostled beneath him as he followed the uneven lane past lush farmland that spread out beyond a row of towering pines. Evidence of the new season was noticeable wherever he looked. Grazing cattle wandered throughout green pastures, content to feed off the land’s rich substance. Before long, a brilliant display of flowers would be in bloom, from the white blossoms of the hydrangea bush to the colorful rhododendrons that edged his parents’ home.
The gray-shingled farmhouse, with its large front porch, came into view. Adam pulled on the reins to slow the horses’ gait. This was the home where he’d been born and where he’d watched his brothers and sisters grow up beside him. Memories of afternoon baseball games, picnics, and church socials filtered through his mind. Those happy memories, though, were paired with vivid images of his mother’s death and the emptiness he’d felt knowing she’d never be there to help him with his schoolwork or kiss him good night. Sometimes the memories still left a hole in his heart. Michaela’s unexpected entrance into their lives had helped to draw him out, but life didn’t stay static for long. It had hit him with one more punch. No one had expected Samuel to die so young.
The sun brought out trickles of moisture across the back of his neck, and he reached up to wipe them away, wish
ing he could just as easily wipe away his melancholy mood. Life wasn’t always fair—he’d discovered that early on. But he’d learned an even greater lesson lately. God saw beyond the outer surface of a man. He saw into the very heart. But having the willing heart that God wanted wasn’t always easy.
Drawing in the reins, he stopped the wagon in front of the house and jumped down. The yard was quiet except for a plump hen that had somehow managed to escape the confines of her coop. Even her annoying squawking wasn’t enough to distract him from the real purpose of his visit. Adam’s heart throbbed at the thought of seeing Lidia again. The last time they’d been together he’d been nothing like the gentleman he should have been and far from the Christian example he yearned to be. He could never make up for his actions. Just like he would never be able to make up for the pain she was feeling over her brother’s death. That was one thing they had in common. They both understood the deep pain of loss. It might not ever bring them together as he’d once hoped, but it might help erase some of the uneasiness between them.
Reaching into the bed of the wagon, he pulled out a small basket he’d secured on the side. He’d brought Lidia a peace offering. He couldn’t help but wonder what her reaction would be to seeing him again. Hopefully between the jar of maple syrup and his heartfelt words of apology she’d find it within her to forgive him.
Michaela walked out of the house with baby Daria partly hidden in the folds of her skirt. God had known what He was doing when He brought his stepmother from Boston to Cranton. She could never completely take the place of the mother he lost, but there had never been any doubt of her love for him or any of the other Johnson children.
“It’s been too long since we’ve seen you.” Michaela leaned against the porch railing. “Your father was starting to worry that maybe you were sick again.”
Adam shook his head and smiled as he took the stairs two at a time, then embraced his stepmother with a warm hug. “Nothing of the sort. Just needed some time to come to my senses is all.”
He pulled a shiny red ribbon out of his pocket for the dark-eyed toddler. Daria might be shy, but Adam found that a treat every now and again went a long way in gaining her affections. He tousled the child’s hair, watching in amazement as she manipulated the shiny fabric between her fingers, her eyes lit up with joy.
“I’ve come to talk to Lidia.” Adam cleared his throat. “I need to apologize to her. Blaming her for Samuel’s death was wrong.”
Michaela raised her brow. “What changed your mind?”
“I was forced to look at my own life and realize I wasn’t any better than Jarek.”
“That’s a powerful conclusion to come to.” Daria started to whimper, and her mother lifted the child onto her hip. “There’s … there’s something else you should know.”
Michaela glanced away, and Adam’s heart skipped a beat. If something had happened to Lidia …
His stepmother pulled Daria against her chest as if trying to shelter the young child from the expected ups and downs she would face throughout her lifetime. “Lidia’s brother was killed by bounty hunters a few days ago.”
Adam let out a sigh of relief. “I know. Reuben Myers told me yesterday when he came to pick up his load of sugar.”
A frown spread across her face. “I’m sure I wouldn’t like to hear what he had to say about it.”
“No, you wouldn’t, but listening to him made me see what a fool I’ve been.”
“Lidia’s taken it hard. I’m pretty sure she thinks the town, and maybe even our own family, are going to turn against her now that they know it was her brother who killed Samuel.”
Adam’s gaze swept the sanded boards of the porch, and his stomach knotted together. “I was one of those people.”
“And now?”
“I once blamed her for Samuel’s death simply because they were kin. Now I realize how hatred and bitterness can affect the truth.”
“You’re right, but that still doesn’t change how she feels, or how she believes people see her.” Michaela gently rocked the young girl who looked almost asleep against her shoulder. “I hope you can make things right with her and help her see that what happened doesn’t change the way any of us feel toward her.”
Still pondering his stepmother’s words, Adam made his way through the farmhouse toward the backyard where Lidia was hanging out the laundry. Stepping into the kitchen’s outer doorway, he stopped at the sight of her.
The fabric of her beige dress billowed in the morning breeze as she reached up to secure a white sheet to the line. She’d gained some weight, which only accented her gentle curves. Several tendrils of her long auburn hair spilled across her shoulders, and the sun reflected a bit of color on her fair cheeks.
He couldn’t deny the truth. From the very first moment he’d found her treed by that rabid dog, something within him had known that in meeting her, his life would change forever. In many ways it had. She’d shown him what real sacrifice meant, and what it meant to truly love one’s fellow man.
Then there had been their kiss beneath the stars—
“Adam?”
The sound of her voice startled him.
“Lidia … I—” He stopped, suddenly uncertain of what to say.
“Did you need something?” Her voice rang cold and void of any emotion.
“I came to see you,” he started again. “How have you been? I mean, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for …”
He stepped outside and hurried down the stairs, closing the distance between them so he could look into her eyes. He hated the sadness he saw in their depths.
She held her head high. “Sorry for what?”
“For everything.” Give me the words, Lord. Please. “I’m sorry for the loss of your brother.”
He had to start somewhere, but he wasn’t sure he’d chosen the right place. Her eyes misted over, and she turned away from him, grabbing the next sheet from the basket in a quick, jerky movement as she flung it over the line.
Adam swallowed hard. “I know how much it hurts to lose someone you love.”
Her gaze avoided his. “I thought you’d be happy now that your brother’s murderer has paid with his life for his deed.”
Her words pierced like a poisoned arrow to his heart. “I might have been—would have been—a few weeks ago, but not today.”
“What’s changed?” She kept her back to him.
This wasn’t going the way he’d planned at all.
“Everything’s changed for me, Lidia.” He came around to the other side of the clothesline to face her. “When I see what you’ve gone through, it—”
“You don’t have a clue what I’ve gone through.” She flung a clothespin at him and struck him on the forehead.
Adam took a step back, not sure how to react to her display of emotion. “That’s not what I meant.”
Another wooden pin bounced off his shoulder.
Deciding he had nothing to lose, he set the jar of maple syrup down on the grass and continued, “Lidia, I’ve seen how you respond to life in a godly way no matter what happens. That’s what you’ve taught me.”
He ducked at the third clothespin. Okay, maybe not in every instance.
She looked up and caught his gaze. He expected to see anger in her eyes, but all that was left was pain.
“Lidia, don’t you see? I’ve been so blinded. You’ve shown me what true sacrifice is, and what it means to love someone through God’s eyes.”
Her head bowed and her shoulders shook as sobs racked her body. Adam moved toward her and gently took her hands, drawing them toward his chest. “I’m sorry, Lidia, for everything. I’m sorry your brother died, and I’m sorry I treated you the way I did.”
Lidia leaned into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.
This is where you belong, Lidia.
With his arms still around her, he led her to the porch stairs where they could sit down. She wiped her face with the back of her hands, before looking up and searching his eyes.
&
nbsp; “I’m sorry about the clothespins.”
He stifled a laugh. “I knew you had a bit of spunk in you, but I never imagined I’d have to defend myself from a fleet of flying clothespins.”
A smile formed beneath her rounded eyes, and Adam felt his heart pound within his chest. No. Now wasn’t the time for him to express his feelings toward her. Lidia had just suffered a horrible loss. He needed to be there for her without any hint of an ulterior motive.
And there was something else he had to do.
“I need to ask for your forgiveness.” He tilted her chin so she couldn’t look away from him. “I’ve let bitterness over Samuel’s death run my thoughts and emotions. Not only did I blame your brother for what he did, I blamed you, Koby, and anyone else who got in my way.”
Adam paused, trying to find the right words to say. “I … I guess there’s nothing else I can really say, except that I’m sorry.”
Lidia drew in a deep breath, her mind spinning at Adam’s confession. She’d waited for so long to bridge the gap that hung between them. Their kiss had stirred something within her she’d never felt before, but she’d finally realized that any hope of a relationship between them had long passed. Saying sorry would never change that.
She laced her fingers together, trying to ignore the effect his nearness had on her. “Your reaction was no different than the dozens of other people in town who won’t want anything to do with me once they find out that Jarek was my brother. You, of all people, had an even greater motivation. Samuel was your brother.”
“That’s no excuse.” Adam shook his head and rested his forearms on his thighs. “Not that I didn’t have the right to be angry and hurt over what happened, but the way I acted was no better than Reuben Myers and his blatant hatred for immigrants. As for the rest of the town, most of them are good, upright people. I don’t see them blaming you for what your brother did.”