Threesomes: For Couples Who Want to Know More

by Speiser, Lainie

  Couple Signs of Lust

  When you get to your late twenties or so, a lot of the parties you are invited to tend to be dinner parties. And, if single, you may be one of the few people who arrives alone. Don’t see this as a downer, but rather as a great opportunity. You could be seated next to a couple who are feeling frisky and having a good time socializing with you.

  Notice their body language with each other. Many times, a physically demonstrative couple gives you and others a show not to be insensitive but to actually entice you and draw you in. See how they react if you do sit closer. More often than not, this will make the couple touch and nuzzle each other more, reacting to your smile and admiration for their looks and extroverted behavior. Talk to them about things you all might like: movies, music, books, even politics if the three of you are like-minded. The great thing about hanging out with a couple is that the conversation can be very intellectual and stimulating, even if you’re debating an issue. You and the girlfriend/wife may agree on something that the boyfriend/husband doesn’t, and you will bond over that and good-naturedly make fun of him for his opposing view.

  Talk about the things they enjoy doing together, like travel, dining, or sports. When a couple has been together awhile, sensuality encompasses things like food and snow boarding. When they see you have some of the same interests or the same tastes, they will begin to enjoy your company a lot and flirt with you. This is especially true if you’re able to make fun of yourself when you mention things like bad dates or how you fell on your ass a million times when you were learning how to ski.

  Let them tell the story of how they met and how long they’ve been together. When you see the girlfriend take a shine to you, admiring your humor, your taste, or the kind of shampoo you use, take that as a sign, especially if they’ve stayed with you awhile and haven’t mixed too much with their friends.

  Many times, a physically demonstrative couple gives you and others a show not to be insensitive but to actually entice you and draw you in.

  So You’re Going Home with a Couple…

  Here are some things to remember:

  1. Wait for one of them to make the first move.

  2. Don’t fool around with one when the other has left the room.

  3. Don’t sleep over unless they offer at least twice.

  4. Only kiss when one of them makes the first move.

  5. Say nice or sexy things to them as a couple; that way, no one’s feelings gets hurt.

  Important Rules

  When you’re with a couple, it’s always best to take the cues from the woman so you know she’s into it and not being pushed into anything by a sleazy, philandering mate. You’ve got to find both of them equally attractive, even if you’re much more into men than women. You can be completely heterosexual with some bi-curious leaning and make this work, but by no means take this as an opportunity to screw around with a married or taken man under the guise of having his woman’s permission. That’s the formula for high drama and disaster, and you’ll be left with nothing but the feeling that you’re a deceitful home wrecker.

  As they make mention that you are a beautiful woman, let them know they are a very attractive couple. Center your flirtation on that more than doling out compliments and flirtation to each individual. “You’re as handsome as she is beautiful,” is acceptable to say to the male counterpart, but nothing more than that. Say to him, “You’re a lucky man to have met such a beautiful, cool person. That’s hard to come by.” This way you diffuse any worry from her mind, and she will see you are indirectly flirting with her.

  When you notice both of them sitting close to you for awhile, take it as a sign, even if they’re holding hands. Let them buy you drinks and take care of you. Accept their compliments and return some as well, and again, remember to address them as one entity.

  The woman might want to bond with you by taking your hand to go to the bathroom, by stroking your hair, by feeling the fabric of your dress, or by going to the jukebox to pick out music you both like. Let that happen too, because it’s the woman’s feelings you always have to look out for more. She’s probably bisexual, and picking up a woman together is her way of satisfying her Sapphic urges while staying faithful to her man.

  Always assume with a couple that they have done this before and have their own thing going on. You, again, are their guest, their plaything, their treat, and although they should treat you with the utmost respect, you’re walking into a situation that they’ve already worked out on their own. So although their attention and this situation will be all about you and you being there, it’s first about them and how they do this for fun and frolic.

  Don’t try to get in between them until they welcome you to. They’ve probably left their apartment feeling adventurous and wanting a sexy woman to enjoy and to enjoy them, so take the more subservient role and follow their lead.

  The Seduction

  Sharing drinks and food with a third party is a sensual thing. If you like the cherry in her drink, let her know so she can feed it to you. If they offer a taste of their dessert, definitely accept a mouthful of apple pie à la mode. Order an exotic drink and tell them they have to try it, too. This will help bond the three of you.

  If you feel it’s time to change the locale from the party or the bar, tell them about a low-key place to dance and hang out, then dance with both of them. Do not necessarily station yourself in between them unless you are invited, but most definitely sit close to them. Let them know you are having a good time.

  When they encourage you to talk and tell stories, they’re actually fishing to see whether you are an open-minded person, so pepper your talk with ever-so-subtle sexuality, or mention movies you’ve seen that you find sensual and have turned you on. If the woman in the couple mentions enjoying Angelina Jolie’s sex scenes in “Gia,” agree with her and add onto that. And as the conversation becomes more erotic, ask her if she’s ever been with a woman. If she asks you this question, then definitely see this as a roundabout question in relation to the two of them.

  At some point in the evening, they both will be making excuses to touch you—patting your back while you’re laughing or their telling you how fit you look, squeezing your calf or touching your stomach to emphasize it. When you and the girlfriend go to the bar or the bathroom, see how she looks at you and touches you. If you’re touching up your face in the bathroom and she stands behind you fluffing your hair, you’re in.

  Let her know that you’re happy to be there by reciprocating her actions and touches. Before you know it, you will get an invitation to come back to their place. When she takes a chance and leans in close to see your earrings or necklace, whisper something in her ear like, “You’re so sexy,” or be more mischievous and say, “Are you trying to seduce me and take me home with you?” When your eyes lock and you feel the heat, lean in to her and see whether she kisses you. Chances are she probably will, and more.

  Smile and say you’re excited, she’ll reciprocate with a kiss—a long, sensual one—and by the time you’re back at their place, things will have heated up nicely.

  The Next Step

  So you’re in and you want to be in. If you live alone, invite them over for drinks and such. This isn’t so much for safety, but they may feel more comfortable being the ones to leave and being in a space other than their home. But if they do invite you back to their place, by all means go. It will allow you to continue playing the role of their sexy guest, whom they wait on, and to leave when you want. So do whichever you feel more comfortable with and whatever jives with the couple. If the couple is experienced at these kinds of things, they may even have a hotel room in town all ready for your tawdry little fling.

  I recommend leaving the moves to them. More often than not, there is probably a “no kissing my guy” rule, as this is most prevalent among couples. If they feel the need to tell you what the rules are, don’t take offense; it’s a preventive measure.

  If they have a car and he’s driving, get in the ba
ckseat and invite her to join you back there. Start heating things up that way. He will be driving and glancing in the mirror to see what’s going on. Hold her hand, cuddle with her, tell her she smells good, and nuzzle into her neck for a nibble and make her giggle. Smile and say you’re excited, she’ll reciprocate with a kiss—a long, sensual one—and by the time you’re back at their place, things will have heated up nicely.

  Once you’re at their place, be a good guest. If they want to give you the ten-cent tour that’s fine, it gives the whole thing a sense of normalcy. Compliment their taste in decorating and see where they want to direct you. Let them wait on you, serve you a drink, ask what kind of music you like, and so forth. Excuse yourself to the bathroom, even if you don’t have to go, so that you can collect yourself and allow them to get situated. When you return, they will be ready to spring into action.

  True Story: Tammy and the Married Couple

  Although not a big city model or actress, Tammy is no dowdy hausfrau either. Slim but curvy, with a mouth-watering waist-to-hip ratio, a huge smile of pearly white teeth, and a healthy glow to her skin, she is a Midwestern cutie living in Minnesota with two cats and a sweet husband. She’s as normal and as All-American as they come, except for one thing: Tammy has had sex with other married couples. But that was before she herself got married.

  “Its funny that I haven’t had a three-way with my husband,” Tammy says. “I’m sure it’s something we will do further down the road. We’ve talked about it, but it’s not at the top of the list. I guess it’s because once you do this, you can’t take it back.” But Tammy’s very first ménage à trois was with a married couple, swingers whom she met through a mutual friend.

  Tammy had always been bisexual in her heart, but was never brave enough to pursue it. She was hung up on conventions and wondered whether she might be a lesbian. The wife of the couple Tammy first had a three-way with was a friend of Tammy’s girlfriend, and through talking, they discovered that they had more in common than they ever hoped to have. One was a woman who wanted to make love with another woman, and the other was a woman who enjoyed making love to other women when her husband was watching.

  “Her husband was definitely a good-looking guy, but I was mainly there for her,” Tammy admits. “She’s the one who asked me out, and I was much more attracted to her than to him.”

  A total novice to the scene, Tammy didn’t know what to expect, and the couple must have been sensitive to her nerves and reservations, because the three went out a few times without doing anything at all.

  “We just had a beer, hung out, and discussed ground rules, though there really weren’t any. She was fine with her husband doing anything with me, and I had a green light for everything too. And once we were familiar, they were just plain about it and asked me, so when would you like this to happen?” As soon as possible, thought Tammy, whose mouth watered over at thought of taking her very first breast into her mouth and licking her first engorged clit. She came over to their house soon after, they had some drinks but didn’t get drunk, enjoyed some benign chatter, and then got to it.

  The wife suggested that a good ice-breaker would be for she and Tammy to enjoy a shower together while her hubby watched. “He let her take the lead and let us go for it. He just watched while we kissed and fooled around in the shower.” The hot water and the sliding soapy sudsing of each other definitely were a great beginning for Tammy, as she rubbed her taut body up and down against the wife’s, enjoying her soft lips and tongue and feeling herself get very wet, very quickly. The couple toweled off their pretty guest and brought her into their bedroom.

  “It was a great experience,” Tammy says. “I didn’t feel weird about it at all, and I might have gotten more into it than they expected. They were wonderful. They knew how to please each other. But definitely my main reason for doing it was because I wanted to be with her. Her husband was just a bonus.” A bonus Tammy did appreciate. She remembers eating out his wife while being screwed from behind as one of the most amazing sensations she has ever experienced.

  “Every sense is being taken care of, everyone was involved,” she says. “The goal of being with a couple is to keep everyone satisfied in the mix.”

  Tammy has also had threesomes with girlfriends picking up men at parties or bars, and they have joked that the lucky guy in question was their “stand-in penis.” Tammy says having threesomes is fun because of the exhilarating feeling of being able to call all the shots. “I mean what’s the guy going to say? He knows he should just shut up and be happy to be there at all!

  Positioning Couples

  A three-way is a dance in which you should let the couple or the woman lead. All couples are unique, so let them make the first moves, and in a short time you will get the gist of their rhythm and their games so you can catch on and play along.

  When you return from freshening up in the bathroom, you might walk in on the two of them sitting on the couch kissing and fondling each other. Don’t take this as a sign that you should hang back but sit down next to them and say, “That looks pretty good, mind if I cut in?” Sit on the outside, putting the other woman in the middle and start fondling and kissing her, too. While you are working on her, reach over and put your hand on his lap and see where that goes. If she takes your hand and puts it on his crotch, then it’s perfectly acceptable to start touching and working on his dick.

  They could have a relationship where he is in charge and he will tell you to touch his wife or girlfriend. When you do, say to her, “You’ve got beautiful breasts. Could we both suck your nipples together?” Or again, they might say that to you. It’s sort of a game of “Mother, May I?” in the beginning, but once things get rolling, you should feel comfortable doing what comes naturally.

  They may be looking at you as this tasty treat for them both to devour, they both like women and they like to enjoy them together. Lay back and let them work you over as they both suck on your nipples. As they spoil you, touch them both at the same time—you’re here to enjoy what it’s like to be with both a man and a woman, so reaching down and fingering her while stroking him is a great way to go. Show them that you’re there for the both of them. Have him squat over you and suck him while he’s facing his partner who is going down on you. He’ll love watching her go down on you while you take his load in your mouth.

  Or the two of you can work over his lady, both of you sucking her tits and rubbing her clit. While he pumps her doggy style, have her head buried deep in your pussy, and when she’s kneeled in front of her man sucking him off, hold her from behind, pulling her hair out of her face and kissing her neck. Or while she is deep-throating him, lay down beneath her and go down on her while fingering yourself.

  Tip

  Too Many Rules?

  Here’s the thing, you could structure your threesome very rigidly—you fuck me, then you fuck her, then she can blow you, then you can go down on me, but she can’t touch me, and I don’t want to touch her, etc. This is all well and good—after all, it is about comfort zones—but do try to abandon yourself to sexual chaos at least a little, and just let what feels good feel good!

  If he goes for penetration, have her squat over your face so he can watch you eat her out and hopefully you can all come at around the same time. You can get really raunchy and stand her up while he licks her pussy and you lick her ass, both of you working a finger on each side of her until she comes or until you get her opened and ready for anal sex. In that case, while he pumps her ass, you can keep finger-banging her, licking her clit, or she can go down on you while he’s working her ass.

  Sit down against her and play with her tits while he goes down on her or pumps her. And you can do the same with him sitting up and you sitting on his cock in backward cowgirl position, facing her while she plays with your gyrating body. Or she may, in turn, straddle you while you are banging him this way and you are both bouncing and bucking against each other as she takes turns kissing him and then kissing you. And when she makes you come wi
th her mouth, tell her to kiss her man so he can taste the pussy juice in her mouth and on her lips. This small act can be heavenly for a man; remember he’s having sex with two women, one he’s had sex with a lot and the other whom he’s never had sex with before. You’re encouraging her to kiss him shows them that you’re into the both of them together as well, which shows you play nice.

  A three-way is a dance in which you should let the couple or the woman lead. In the best instances, you all get worked up at the same speed and are satiated at the same time.

  True Story: Cynthia and Sex in the City

  Cynthia, an attractive and stylish New York City woman in her early thirties, works as a hostess in a restaurant and lounge, and has therefore ushered more than her fair share of tasty couples in and out of the establishment where she works. Sultry but friendly with a casual and open personality, it isn’t unusual for her to be invited to join couples for a drink when the evening is slow or her shift is over. More than once she has been seduced by a couple and more than once she has readily accepted their proposals of lust.

  “One couple I met here was really great. They were a little suburban, but still very down to earth, very attractive, and kind of refreshing,” she says. “This was their big night out in the city, and they just wanted to have a good time, meet people, enjoy some good wine, and just hang out. So somehow I ended up hanging out and talking to them about, of all things, filing for bankruptcy. I was in a lot of debt at the time, and it turned out the boyfriend worked for some kind of financial company that dealt with that and he was giving me some advice.”