Three Thousand Miles To You

by Delia Longford

  Alanna: that’s good.

  Adrian: alanna you seem different.

  Alanna: what makes you think that?

  Adrian: the way you are speaking it seems like you have much on your mind please tell me.

  Alanna: I don’t I am just studying right now and I have all that in my head.

  Adrian: alanna I know that’s not it tell me the truth. Alanna: I just can’t get that night out of my head.

  Adrian: I knew this would happen if I told you the truth you think of me different now don’t you?

  Alanna: no it’s not that Adrian it’s the pain and suffering that you went through it’s the way Alice left you I can’t begin to explain to you the hatred I have for her.

  Adrian: alanna baby you don’t know her I know that you saw her and you hear me talk about her and she did unforgivable things but she is not part of our life.

  Alanna: how can you say that? She is because I am living in danger because of her.

  Adrian: alanna you are in danger because of me not Alice.

  Alanna: no Adrian she is the one that brought that man into your life she was the one that got into debt by him and she is the reason you killed him.

  Adrian: alanna please stop.

  Alanna: I am only speaking the truth you carry around all the guilt don’t you blame her even just a little?

  Adrian: yes alanna but what can I do? She left me she never cared about me do you really expect that she carries guilt? Alanna: you need to stop feeling guilty it was not your fault I can’t go on with you if you don’t see that.

  Adrian: so what you’re saying is if I don’t banish my guilt then you will leave me?

  Alanna: no I want you to be able to move on from this I want to be with you but I can’t have this played out all the time. Adrian: so what are you saying?

  Alanna: I feel that we can’t have a life together until you move past this and stop making it a reason for not being here with me.

  Adrian: alanna I would be there with if I could don’t you know that?

  Alanna: there is nothing stopping you.

  Adrian: the Marshalls are stopping me.

  Alanna: they already know that I am with you they have seen us together they see me with Michael your step brother Adrian there has to be another reason why you are not here.

  Adrian: ok you want to know the reason?

  Alanna: yes

  Adrian: I can’t watch you die alanna!

  Alanna: that won’t happen and how do you even know for sure that’s them that’s after me?

  Adrian: they only drive black Lamborghinis!

  Alanna: but how many black Lamborghinis are in Manhattan?

  Adrian: alanna don’t even try to convince me that it’s not them I know that it is. Baby I love you and I hope that one day this will all be a distant memory but for now I need to stay in London and you need to stay in that house ok?

  Alanna: ok I guess if I don’t have a choice.

  Adrian: I hate doing this to you I hate that I have all the control I wish things were different.

  Alanna: you know anyone else would not stand for this. Adrian: don’t you think that I know that? I don’t deserve you. Alanna: I love you

  Adrian: until next time baby

  “Miss hart dinner” I hear Maggie at my door I close my laptop and head out into the kitchen. I see that Maggie has made a special effort tonight. She has lit candles and set the huge dining table for two. There are silver platters of food and grand vases filled with white and red roses. I see Michael sitting at one side of the table dressed in a white shirt and dark blue jeans his usually messy hair is slicked back. If I didn’t know any better I would say this looks like a date. I walk over and Michael gets up and pulls out a chair for me. I look at him as sit and can’t help but say “what’s all this?” “Maggie thought you looked a little down and you needed cheering up so she put this evening together” I smile over at her and she smiles back pretending that all this was her idea. “Well thank you Maggie” “would you like a glass of champagne?” Michael says as he opens a bottle of Cristal champagne “Sure but what are we celebrating?” “Nothing I just thought it was your favorite drink” I smile again at him not holding in my laugh “what’s funny alanna?” “Nothing” I quickly straighten my face. “Have you heard from Adrian?” Michaels says as he takes a bite of his food. “Yes I was just talking to him a few moments ago” “really what was he saying?” “Just the usual” “what’s on your mind?” “There is a lot on my mind right now” “what has you bothered alanna?” “Studying, Adrian, the killing and you this house shall I go on?” “Me?” “There has been something I have wanted to talk to you about” I say and my heart begins to race “good but can I go first?” Michael says jumping in and not giving me time to protest but instead I agree I feel a little cowardly right now anyway “Sure” I say and my heart begins to race less rapidly “alanna in London you received a single red rose and I am pretty sure you think it was from Adrian but it wasn’t it was from me” I look at him I can see that he is a nervous about this as me “I know Adrian told me” I say in a sympathetic voice “he did?” Michael says looking shocked and a little embarrassed “he did and its ok I understand” “no you don’t see I am different to Adrian I love him he is my brother for life but I can’t begin to express my feelings about all this” “about what?” “you in danger it kills me seeing you here like this” “it’s hard on everyone” “it’s especially hard on me” I don’t like the way this is going I was about to tell him everything how I feel about him and how I feel about Adrian but now that he is about to say it how he feels out loud I can’t listen I get up from the seat and Michael looks at me “what’s wrong alanna?” “I can’t do this” “do what you never let me finish” my head is spinning so I sit back down “alanna I feel things for you I have for a while and I have tried to put it off and out of my mind but I can’t” “Michael I really care about you and I want you in my life but I will always love Adrian” the guilt in my voice as I say it I can’t bear to look at him to see his reaction have I lost my friend? “Alanna how can you love him? After all he is putting you through if you were with me then you would never be in danger” “I know that but even if I die I will still love Adrian” “I can’t be hearing this are you for real?” “Yes Michael I really like you and I need you please can you accept this and carry on being my friend?” “Come away with me we can leave and never come back” “no Michael you not hearing me?” “Yes I hear but its real alanna you can’t feel this way” “I do please Michael understand” “ok alanna but know this I will always be here waiting for you I will never give up on you” “I know” I go over to him and he holds me in his arms. We just sit there for what seems like ages. I finally break free and head to my room not looking back at him because if do then I might cave in and say yes to everything he is saying.

  Chapter 25

  The next few days I spend in my room I can’t face Michael I feel so selfish wanting him and loving Adrian at the same time. I can’t begin to describe the way I feel it’s as if my whole life has collapsed. I remember what it feels like to be happy and happy to me is the time when Adrian was here in New York. The days we spent watching movies and the nights we sat up talking. I miss him so much and I would give anything if he was here. I look through my phone and see a picture of him I took when he wasn’t looking. I stare at it for ages talking in his breathtaking looks. His golden skin his deep green eyes that glow his full lips that kissed me I close my eyes and remember them on mine. I love him so much and I could forgive anything he does. I know that if everyone knew half the things I do about him then they would say I was crazy for being with someone like him. I think to what my parents would say or more to the point what they would do I am sure they would have me assessed or something and Sophie she already hates Adrian so anything negative she could find out about him would be a bonus. What scares me the most is that the girl I used to be that one who speaks her mind freely and doesn’t take anything from anyon
e she would have thought he was weird and wouldn’t want him and she would have run a mile? She wouldn’t be in her room pining away for some guy and she certainly wouldn’t be in danger for him. However I feel that she has slipped away and that a more grown up loved up version has taken her place. I talk a second out from studying to check my emails I see that there is one from my mom I open it to read,

  Alanna darling where are you? I have had a call from Sophie asking if you were with us out here in the Hamptons please let me know what is going on your father and I are worried we need to know that you are safe! I reply quickly as I don’t want to cause my mom and dad any worry,

  Hi mom I am fine, I needed to take some time out from college the pressure was staring to take its toll again and I was worried I might have another funny turn, don’t worry I am safe I am staying with a friend in soho for a few days to relax please mom don’t worry and make sure dad doesn’t either tell Penelope that I love her and I will be home soon all my love alanna! I feel guilty for lying to my mom but it’s for the best I couldn’t put this on my family I wouldn’t risk them getting hurt or cause them any further worry I feel that it is best to keep this a secret from them. I read over the email from my mom again and I gaze at the words about Sophie and how she called to check on me I wonder if maybe she isn’t mad at me anymore. I look through my other emails and I am happy to see one from Sophie I notice that she is online before I instant message her I open her email.

  Hi alanna you are right we do need to talk this can’t go on any longer call me.

  I take a deep breath and open the IM chat box

  Alanna: hello

  I patently wait for her reply which surprisingly doesn’t take long.

  Sophie: hello how have you been?

  Alanna: ok and you?

  Sophie: good

  Alanna: we need to talk do you have time?

  Sophie: yes I have time

  Alanna: about everything that happened I still feel that you were a little out of order however I am sorry for the things I said to you.

  Sophie: I can see how you thought that I was out of order because I was and I accept your apology however I still stand by what I said.

  Alanna: you do? Maybe you should explain it all to me again and this time calmly ok?

  Sophie: I don’t like the way he controls you he seems to think that you belong to him and that you should do whatever he says. I know that you love him and what I need you to know is that love can be blind I know firsthand with chace he cheated and I pretended I didn’t know and look where I ended up. Alanna: Adrian and I are nothing like what you and chace used to be. He loves me and I do love him. He is only controlling because of his past if you knew then you would understand.

  Sophie: for me to fully understand I would need to know maybe you should tell me?

  Alanna: if I do then you have to promise that you will never tell anyone ok?

  Sophie: I won’t now please tell me.

  Alanna: Adrian as you know had a very difficult childhood but what you don’t know is that his mom abused him she had different guys home almost every night and one became a regular he got Adrian’s mom addicted on drugs and he did the same to Adrian he was only ten. They would lock him in a dark cupboard under the stair with no food for as long as three days. He would be beaten everyday of life by them He never had anything growing up and he never had any control.

  Sophie: I had no idea it was that bad I feel sorry for him like guilty you know that we had it so good.

  Alanna: I know it doesn’t even bear to think about all the suffering he had.

  Sophie: so how did he get to where he is now? I know he has a company? But how did he get there?

  Alanna: as you know Michaels dad adopted him but the time he spent in foster care he was in pain he was being brought off the drugs he was addicted to them his mother left when he was twelve and she never came back to him He owes everything to Mr. Jenkins.

  Sophie: what about his real dad isn’t he around?

  Alanna: the only person he ever knew was his mom. Sophie: I feel bad now I can see how he is controlling.

  Alanna: he never had any control over anything as a child he couldn’t control his need for drugs so now whenever he can he likes to stay in control and I have to understand that.

  Sophie: can you please tell him that I am sorry for everything? Alanna: I know and that’s all that matters he won’t thank you for pity.

  Sophie: what about his mom where is she now?

  Alanna: she lives here I think.

  Sophie: what? She goes around living her life after she treated him like that?

  Alanna: I have seen her and she seems out of it.

  Sophie: you met her?

  Alanna: sort of I saw her before I knew Adrian was sending the

  gifts every day I went down to the beach in the Hamptons and there she was sitting there gazing out at the water she looked around sixty and was a like a shadow of a woman I felt sorry for her and I tried to talk to her but she shouted at me so I left it wasn’t until I saw a picture of her that I knew it was Adrian’s mom.

  Sophie: alanna I am glad that you have told me this I feel now that I can understand your relationship with Adrian. I know it must have been hard for him to tell you all this and I feel that he wouldn’t have if he didn’t love you I am sorry and I do hope for the best for you two.

  Alanna: I am sorry too I said you were jealous it’s all I had, can you forgive me?

  Sophie: to tell you the truth I was a little

  Alanna: what? Why?

  Sophie: just because he is gorgeous and he has millions and he clearly loves you seeing Dan compared to him annoyed me and I did feel jealous.

  Alanna: Sophie Dan is great he cares about you so much you are lucky that you have someone like him.

  Sophie: lucky? Come on would you trade me?

  Alanna: don’t be silly you wouldn’t do that.

  Sophie: any way Adrian does seem alright now that I know more about him are you with him?

  Alanna: no he is in London and I am here in New York. Sophie: where in New York? I called your parents and they said you weren’t with them?

  Alanna: I am in soho.

  Sophie: what you doing there?

  Alanna: Adrian has a condo here and he said I could use it. Sophie: of course he does, but why are you there if he isn’t?

  Alanna: with everything that happened you know my little scare I haven’t been feeling right since then and I need some time away from everyone at college I need out of the microscope.

  Sophie: will you be back for finals?

  Alanna: I called Mrs. Henderson yesterday she is going to talk to the board and see if I can come back to the campus to take the exam. If they disapprove then she assures me that I will be able to take them from here.

  Sophie: how can she do that?

  Alanna: Adrian made a massive donation and she feels obliged to help me as I am the one who brought him there.

  Sophie: so he was the secret donator?

  Alanna: I am surprised they kept him anonymous?

  Sophie: they said it was his choice everyone thought that it was some mystery celebrity.

  Alanna: Sophie if Adrian didn’t want anyone to know then you can’t tell everyone that it was him.

  Sophie: I won’t oh before I forget a package came for you the other day.

  Alanna: did you open it?

  Sophie: alanna! I would never do that.

  Alanna: do you know how it came from?

  Sophie: no just a delivery guy made me sign for it there is no return address.

  Alanna: ok Sophie I will come by tomorrow to collect it is that ok?

  Sophie: I have classes all day but I will leave on the dresser for you.

  Alanna: thanks I am glad we sorted everything

  Sophie: me too now I got to go meet Dan.

  Alanna: ok say hi for me.

  Sophie: okay bye alanna

  I feel so glad that Sophie and I have talked things thro
ugh I only hope that Adrian doesn’t get mad when I tell him I that told her about his past. As one weight lifts off my shoulders it’s immediately replaced by another one that of the package that awaits me at the dorm. What could it be? Was it a late delivery from Adrian? Or was it from them the people who want to kill me? As I weigh up the possibilities I can’t help but think of Michael sitting out there. I haven’t really seen him since that night I want to pick up the courage to go out there and talk to him however I don’t feel strong enough Instead I take out my phone and compose a text to Adrian.

  Hey Adrian what are you doing?

  He takes literality about thirty seconds to reply.

  Alanna are you ok?

  He always does this every time I text him first It’s like he can’t understand why I would text him.

  Yes Adrian I am fine you do that every time why?

  I don’t know I just worry when I see a text from you. Okay what have you been doing lately?

  Just working and you?

  I have been studying.

  Have you been eating and sleeping enough?

  Yes don’t worry.

  What about Michael?

  What about him?

  How is he?

  Good I think

  You think? Did something happen?

  Unaware if he knew about the other night I don’t know what to say to him. If he knows and I don’t say then he will know I lied to him and on the other hand if say yes then I will still look like a liar for not telling him I decide to go for honesty.

  Adrian the other night Michael told me how he felt about me. I know he told me.

  Good job I went for honesty it’s like Adrian knows everything. He did?

  Yes he also told me that you told him that you need him but you love me.

  I did are you mad at me?

  No alanna I am not mad but he misses you so I suggest you go talk to him ok?

  I will eventually, I made up with Sophie.

  When did this happen?

  Today.

  What happened?

  We talked, Adrian I had to tell her some things about your past is that ok?

  Not really but if you say you had to then it’s ok I know you wouldn’t tell just anyone.