I wouldn’t but I felt that if she knew more about you then she would back off and accept you.
Everything you do has me in mind?
That’s because I love you.
Baby, do you ever want to get married?
I never thought about it before Why are you asking me to marry you?
Do you really think I would over a text?
No I guess not.
Seriously though alanna is it something you want?
I think that you don’t need to be married to be happy. Are you saying it’s not for you?
No I am just saying that I could be happy not being married. So you could be happy without love?
I could never be happy without you but I don’t think that you need to married to love someone.
I see
What about you do you want to get married one day?
Yes I have long wanted to be married and have a family I never had one so I would like to think one day I will.
You have me.
Yes I do but I would like to be married to you so I can have you always.
You have me you don’t need paper to know that.
I feel you don’t agree with me on this.
You are only twenty five and I am twenty two isn’t there time for all this?
You would think so but giving the circumstances there isn’t. You talk like it’s over you have given up the fight why? I haven’t I just feel like I might lose you and I want to make you mine.
I am not property.
I know that but to me you are the reason I breathe the reason I get up the reason I believe that good things can happen for me. So you see why I want to own you I don’t ever want this feeling of being loved by a woman to go away.
I will always love you I will never be like Alice.
No you are not like her she is poison and you are gold deep glittering gold that can love someone like me!
You are the most loving person I know I am lucky to have you!
Lucky? baby I think that you are unlucky to be with me. Sometimes I think that you would be better off with someone else.
I could never be with anyone other than you! There is nothing I will ever want more than you.
Alanna what about your life?
What about it?
You seem in denial that you are in danger!
I am not I just choose to be positive about it.
How can you be?
I just am, Adrian I have something I need to tell you. What is it?
Sophie told me that a package came for me the other day. Did she open it?
No I am planning to go get it tomorrow.
No you are not I will a send someone to get it for you.
No Adrian I will be fine besides Sophie won’t let a stranger into the room.
She will have classes they can use your key when she is gone. No Adrian you have to let me do this I can’t be locked up in here forever.
It won’t be forever but I can assure you that you won’t be going back to that college anytime soon.
That’s the thing I might have to go back and take my exams there.
No alanna that’s not possible the headmaster told me that you could study from home.
Yes I can study from home but the board has to decide on whether I can sit the exam at the campus.
Alanna I was under the impression that you were to sit the test from home.
Yes I can but I want the college experience I want to take my exams with my friends.
Alanna you can’t!
Adrian it’s my life and I want to do this if it’s approved. I will make sure that it’s not!
Adrian if do that then I will never forgive you!
Alanna why do you do this to me?
Do what?
Torture me like this! I am trying to keep you safe but no matter what I do you always want to rebel against it.
I don’t I just want to do this will you please let me?
Alanna, go get some sleep we will talk in the morning. Adrian please don’t do anything rash promise me!
I won’t!
I just don’t believe him! He will do something he will make sure that I don’t go back to college. I know he thinks he is doing it for the best but he isn’t by keeping this from me he is only making me want it more. I won’t stop until I am back at college! After an hour or so of studying I feel a bit hungry so pick up the courage to go out into the hallway. I can’t see anyone so I walk into the kitchen. I don’t turn on any lights as I don’t want to draw attention to myself. I open the fridge ever so quietly and see that Maggie has left me some dinner. I take out the plate and grab a soda. I make my way back to my room but the lights suddenly come on I turn around and there is Michael standing there again shirtless and again I try not to stare. “Alanna what are you doing?” “I was hungry that’s all” I say not looking him in eye “is everything ok?” he says “Yeah are you ok?” I say finally having enough courage to look in his sad eyes “Why wouldn’t I be?” “You know after our talk the other night” “alanna I am fine don’t worry about it!” he says a little bitterly “So is everything ok between us?” “Yes everything’s good alanna” “I am glad because I couldn’t stay in there another moment” I say walking over and taking a seat and Michaels sits next to me. I look to him and I want to hug him but I can’t. The look he has in his eyes is sad I know he just said that he was fine but something tells me he is not! “I made up with Sophie” “that’s good when did this happen?” “Today while I was marooned to my room” I say smiling and Michael smiles back. “I am a bit worried though” “why?” “She said a package came for me” “really? I take it she didn’t open it?” “No I am worried that it’s some kind of message like last time” “but it’s not a note?” Michael says and his face looks serious “No she said it was a package she had to sign for it” “strange” “I know any way I have to go by tomorrow and get it” “do you really think that Adrian will let you?” “he says not but I am there is no way I am going to let some stranger that Sophie doesn’t know go in our room” “Adrian won’t see it like that” “no but he will have to accept it” “you are feisty?” “That’s only a fraction of it babe” Michael smiles at me like he is happy that I am kind standing up to Adrian. I couldn’t fully disobey everything he says but at the same time I know that I have to on this. Michael gives off the impression that he wouldn’t be controlling over me the way Adrian is. He has different mannerisms that wouldn’t allow it. He is more of a softer type hidden in a deep shell. He would be a more sensible choice if there was one to be made. I wouldn’t be in danger but I wouldn’t have that love that I have with Adrian and that to me is worth the danger!
Chapter 26
The next morning I wake up early fearing that Adrian has already sent someone over to the campus. I grab a super quick shower and through on the first clothes I can see. I rush out the door and into the lounge area where Michael is on his phone. I don’t think he is talking to Adrian it sounds like a business call. I walk over and take a seat next to him I glance over to the door and see that today’s guard is Jackson. Over in the kitchen Maggie is singing while she cooks. I look back to Michael and he sees the look on my face and hangs up his call. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing wrong, who was that on the phone?” “Business, you look on edge” “I am fine have you heard from Adrian?” “He called first thing” “really what did he say?” “He said that I have to go get the package” “why can’t he let me have this?” “He is worried you know what he’s like” I look down at the floor and Michael gets closer he takes my hand and I look up at him. “If you promise not to tell him then I will take you” I can’t contain my smile and I wrap my arms around him he pulls back and says “come on then” he gets up and I follow him out the door. The other guard escorts us down into the lobby of the building as we walk out the door I turn to Michael “thanks for this” he smirks at me and he opens the car door.
The car comes to a stop and I see Columbia I didn’t realize how m
uch I missed it until I am back. Michael and I walk in through the busy doors as we do everyone notices I can see groups of girls whispering and looking at Michael. We walk along the hallway and I see Katharine standing with her bother Leo talking to a few others. I don’t want her to see me. How can I explain why I am with Michael? She will go crazy. Michael spots her and he walks in front of me briskly. As we pass her she sees us and immediately walks overs. “So this is where you have been?” I turn to her and my heart begins to race. “Katharine this is it not what it looks like” I say hoping that she will back down. “It looks pretty obvious to me” “Michael and I are just friends” I say desperately “really? You expect me to believe that?” I see Michael starting to get annoyed so he jumps in “Katharine listen alanna and I are friends that’s all so please can you let this go?” “Let it go are you crazy you treated me like dirt it was clear that you were into alanna now here you are with her and you expect me to believe that nothing is going on?” Katharine says in a voice that is too loud everyone is staring and now I see Katharine’s Brother Leo heading over in our direction. “What’s going on here?” he says in cool calm voice. “Nothing and that’s what I am trying to explain to your sister” I say with a desperate look on my face. “Alanna I thought you were my friend?” “I am Katharine and I would never do anything to hurt you Michael is just a friend I am still with Adrian I love him” “alanna you have to see it from my point of view” “I do and I know it looks bad but there is nothing going on” Katharine racks her brain for what to say next I can see her face changing as she tries to stay whatever is on her mind. “Alanna maybe I do believe you but you should be with me you know how he treated me and you shouldn’t be his friend if you are mine” I look to Michael giving him a look of sorry for what I am about to say. “I love Adrian and if I am to be with him I have to tolerate Michael” I feel guilty as soon as I say it I wish I could turn to him and tell him that it is not just that I have to tolerate him because I am with Adrian but it’s because I do want him in my life for my own reasons not just that fact that he is family to Adrian however I can’t I don’t want to upset Katharine anymore and what she believes doesn’t have to be the honest truth. She is a close friend that I don’t want to fall out with if she thinks that I am just putting up with Michael then I won’t let her think otherwise. “Alanna ok” Katharine says and I am shocked when she hugs me. When she finally lets go I walk again along the hallway with Michael. “That was a good performance you put on back there” “I can’t argue with her and its easier on everyone if she believes that I don’t really like you, you know I didn’t mean it right?” “Yes I know” I smile up at him. “Would you mind waiting here for a second?” I say to Michael as I stop outside the main office. “Sure” I again smile at him. I knock on the office door and Mrs. Henderson tells me to come in. “miss hart how lovely to see you” she says smiling from ear to ear I can’t help but think of how needed that donation was as when I first started here Mrs. Henderson was not my biggest fan. “How can I help you?” “I was wondering about finals has the board reached a decision yet.” “The decision is to be expected today” “I see and how do you think it will go?” “To be honest I would be surprised if they approved you however they are most happy with the size and the generosity of the donation from Mr. Black that could possibly tip the scales in your favor” “thanks can you give me a call to let me know?” “Of course now have a nice day” I go out into the hall and see Michael standing there surrounded by girls. There is one of every hair color and they are all fighting for his attention. I look at how pathetic they look and how they are so desperate to gather round him like that. But why do I care? They are only looking at cute guy there is no harm in it but I feel uneasy about it. I know that Michael can talk to as many girls as he likes but that doesn’t mean that I want him to. I walk over and take his arm I look up to him and say “let’s go now ok?” he looks at me but doesn’t say a word he nods to girls and walks away with me. I let go of his arm when we reach the room Michael has look of confusion on his face I try not to notice it as I don’t want to explain to him what just happened. I rummage in my bag and find the key as I open the door I see Michael take out his phone. I turn to him “who is that?” “Adrian he is wondering if I got the package yet” I say nothing back I just walk into the room. As I do I feel sadness wash over me I miss my room I miss my life here at college and all this being here is making me miss it so much more. I long to be back at Columbia with Sophie dealing with her boy drama and Katharine upset about her brothers latest girlfriend. Life used to be so simple how did it get so complicated so fast? “So where is it?” Michael says his tone seems different but I don’t let on that I notice. “It’s over here” I walk over to the dresser and see round package I grab it and take off the outer layer of wrapping. Inside there is a round pink box I carefully open it and what I see is beyond what I was expecting. I can’t even speak I just hand the box to Michael and when he sees what’s in it he grabs my arm and whisks me out the door we walk so fast down the hallway that I don’t even see the people they are just a haze. Michael opens the car door and waits for me to get in he slams it shut and instructs the driver to take us back to the condo. He again opens the box and his face drains white when he sees again what’s inside. “What do you think this means?” “Alanna what do you think it means!” Michael says almost shouting. I know what it means but I can’t say it. I can’t even think it. We sit in silence as the car drives home. When we arrive back at the condo Michael still hasn’t said a word. He looks at me and he can’t bear this I know he wants to scream at the pitch of his voice he looks so angry more so than I have ever seen before I go over to him but he turns away. “Michael please talk to me” “I can’t what I want to say what I want to do is make you see sense” “Michael everything will be ok” “how can you say that?” “I have to I can’t give in to this feelings if I did then I wouldn’t go on” “alanna I will ask you one more time please come away with me and forget all this” “I can’t I love Adrian and I have to accept all this” “how can you there is people who are going to kill you we now know that for sure and you still stand by him” “that’s what you do when you love someone” “alanna I love you” I try not to hear his words. I can’t look at his face. “Did you hear me?” “Yes I heard you” “I love you alanna” “I can’t do this I am sorry” I try to walk away but Michael stops me. “let’s go away I know you feel the same way about me” “I don’t if I did then it would be so much easier” I say looking away from him I can’t look at the sadness that fills his eyes “if you don’t feel something for me then why did you get jealous when I was talking to the girls?” “I didn’t” I look down at ground and Michael puts his hands around my face pulling it back up so I have to look at him. “Alanna please” I feel tears begin to fill my eyes I want to break free from his grasp but I can’t I just stand there frozen so close to him with his hands around my face I close my eyes at least then I won’t have to look at him while I break his heart. As soon as my eyes close I feel Michael’s lips on mine they are soft and gentle a lot different to Adrian I stand still not opening my eyes he finally pulls back after what seems like forever I open my eyes and he is gazing at me. He looks as if he might do it again so loosen his hands from my face and step several steps back from him. I see confusion in his eyes I can’t believe I let him do that! suddenly a flash of Adrian’s face rushes around in my head. I have to let Michael know that kiss didn’t mean anything I can’t have him think that I feel the same way about him. “Michael that was wrong you shouldn’t have done that” “you didn’t protest!” “I was in shock I was about to cry any way I never kissed you back” “alanna stop it, you are refusing to see how you feel about me” “no Michael I know how I feel about you” “then I think it’s time you told me!” I feel dizzy and I don’t think I stand staright but I have to make myself talk to him I can’t let this go on “I like you a lot and I want to be your friend I don’t love you I never will as long as I am w
ith Adrian” “then leave him and be with me” “no that’s not what I meant” “then what do you mean!” “It will always be him I am sorry” “no why did you lead me on like that if you didn’t feel something?” “I never I just wanted to be your friend I am sorry if you feel that I lead you on” “alanna this can’t be it? There has to be more I can’t go on feeling like this I need you! Be with me!” “I can’t I love Adrian” “what if you met me first would I have had a chance?” “Don’t do this to yourself” “tell me!” “I don’t know! Maybe! Michael I really care about you and I have gotten to know the real you and I feel I want you in my life but as friends please say you will be?” “You can’t have it both ways alanna!” “So what now then?” “You think I can watch you with him? I hate him for what he is doing to you” “don’t say that he is your brother you love him don’t lose what you have with him over me” “alanna this conversation is over now” I look at him thinking how much things have changed in an instant. He was my friend and I cared about him so much now when he looks at me and I know he feels nothing. Michael walks away not even looking back I hear him bang the door. I close my eyes for a second and then I walk to my room. I go in and through myself on the bed by now I can’t hold back my tears any longer and they are flowing down my face. How did all this happen? I had such a great morning making up with Katharine then everything turned sour. Michael hates me and I think his relationship with Adrian is over. I feel awful Adrian never had any family until Michael and his family took him in and now I feel that I have taken all that away from him. I lie fully down on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. My phone starts to ring so I sit up clear my voice and take the call “hello” “hi miss hart its Mrs. Henderson” “oh hello” “I am calling to let you know about tomorrows exam” “yes” “I have great news the board has approved it for you take the exam at the campus” “wow that’s great thanks” “no problem good luck for tomorrow and say hi to Mr. Black” “I will goodbye”. I through my phone on the bed and hold my head in my hands. Now I have to go back to Columbia great another thing that I have to tell Adrian. He will hate the fact that I am going back to college even if it’s just for one day. He will be so angry and guaranteed he will try to stop it. I also have to tell him about what was in the package and that will really not help the situation with college. Then I will have to let him know about Michael and about the fact that he kissed me. I can’t bear all the stress I just want to disappear! My phone again begins to ring I take it in my hand and this time its Adrian! “Alanna are you ok?” “Yes I am fine” “how dare do you go to that college do you realize how worried I was?” “Adrian I am fine please let it go” “no I won’t let it go I told you not to and you didn’t anyway” “Adrian if you would just be quiet for one second I have something well actually I have a few things that I need to tell you” “go on then!” he says in a sharp tone “Michael kissed me” the phone is silent but I can hear the rage in his breath. “When?” “today” “what happened tell me everything” I take a deep breath and begin “I was upset about what was In the package and when I got back to the condo I could see that Michael was upset too he started to say that he loved me and he wants me to go away with him, I tried to tell him no and that we were just friends and that I loved you. I was about cry and I closed my eyes and he kissed me.” “I see did you kiss him back?” “No I wouldn’t the only person I would kiss is you” “so he does love you and he wants you to go away with him?” “Yes but I made sure that he knows that I don’t feel the same way about him are you mad with me?” “No I am mad at him” “no Adrian don’t be he is your brother and don’t argue over me please don’t” “what was in the package?” “It was a pink round box with a bullet inside wrapped in a red bow!” the phone is again silent “alanna when is your exam?” “Tomorrow and I have to take it at the campus” “no way not happening” “Adrian I have to” “are you crazy? You just told me that you were sent a bullet and you want to go back there?” “I need to graduate on time” “no you can graduate anytime you need to live alanna” “and I will” “please alanna you didn’t do as I said today but please don’t do that again” “Adrian I have to” “baby I will not tell you again” “Adrian you can’t do this to me” “I want to keep you alive it’s not as if I am doing this to hurt you!” “I need this Adrian” “alanna no” I hang up on him I can’t listen to him telling me what to do. He doesn’t understand how important this is to me. If he loved me then he would let me do this. I have security and it’s only an hour or so. Why does he have to be like this? I think of Michael if I were with him then he would let me do this. If only I could love Michael everything would be so much easier. He is the easiest option and my head would choose him but my heart wants Adrian and even though he is so controlling and over protective I wish it didn’t but it makes me love him more. I lay on the bed for ages not doing anything just lying there thinking of everything and back to a more simple time when all I had to worry about was what dress I would wear to the latest event. Now I spend most of my days and nights worrying about people who want to kill me and fearing that I am leading on my boyfriend’s brother. My life has changed so much in such a short space of time. I was happy at college and living to me what was a dull but still with the odd sparkle life. I never had anything to worry about and I took it for granted. Now I wonder if my life is over Adrian or Michael wouldn’t be acting this way if it wasn’t. The words of Michael still echo in my mind how he wanted me to go away with him and how he hated Adrian but the one thing that he said and it’s the one that sticks is that he loves me. Most girls never have the chance to experience love and never have one amazing guy love her but two. There are many girls out there who deserve this love more than me. I wish that Michael would see that and move on he deserves to be happy and loved by someone who would do anything for him. I wish that he was still with Katharine she would treat him right and love him in fact I think she already does. If he could only see that and forget about me then that would be one worry off my mind.
Three Thousand Miles To You Page 20