Alien Nation

by Gini Koch

  “Indeed.” He smiled at me and then stepped through the gate. The rest of his dome fell into line. Noted that there were what looked like restaurant staff in this group, too. My music changed to David Bowie’s “All The Young Dudes” and I got the hint. Time to move it.

  Put my gas mask back on. “Remember, everyone out, even A-Cs. No one gets to hang out and try to help at this time. Abby, I need out of the shield!” Left Raj and White as soon as I saw an opening in the shield. Ran through and went to find another dome.

  Found the one with Siler outside of it. “No one will open up to me,” he said, sounding understandably pissed.

  “Yeah, they’re freaked. Go see if you can figure out who’s who and get Jeff and Chuckie to safety.” He nodded and went off and I knocked on the dome. “This is the First Lady. Open up, we’re trying to rescue you and it’s hard to do if you won’t let us.” Nothing. Knocked again. “Gang, seriously, time’s wasting.” Nada.

  Had to figure there wasn’t someone on my team in this dome. Decided they could wait for later, especially when “Next In Line” by Meese came on my airwaves. Left to search for another dome.

  Found one after too much staggering around in the dust and far too much Themnir Poop Avoidance. Had to give the dust storm idea this—if Cliff or his team were watching, they wouldn’t be able to see what was going on.

  Knocked on this dome as “Slow Motion” by Lifehouse lit up my musical life while simultaneously sharing that Algar wanted us all to speed up. Managed not to mention aloud that I was moving as fast as I could, I wasn’t the holdup, and if he was that impatient he could come down here and help. “First Lady Rescue Services. Open up, we’re really behind schedule on this rescue mission.”

  Another peephole opened up. The Lyssara had some cool skills. “Identify yourself.”

  Excellent. Knew this voice, too. “Manfred, it’s me, saving you yet again from a container you find yourself in.”

  The dome lifted. “Kitty?”

  The shield tunnel surrounded us. Took off the gas mask. “Yes. Let’s hoof it, gang. This is taking too long and I still have a lot of people left to rescue.”

  Manfred and I hustled everyone over to the window. His group seemed far happier to be moving quickly. Manfred spelled Raj with the Extreme Sports Straddling Competition, White gave Raj his gas mask, and the two of us headed off for the dome that wouldn’t open up for me, Elton John’s “Whenever You’re Ready (We’ll Go Steady Again)” providing this section of my theme music and proving that Algar, like ACE, was definitely willing to listen to my thoughts along with my words.

  Raj managed to convince them he wasn’t a bad guy, presumably because the Lyssara who was creating the dome recognized him, since the dome lifted without a peephole experience. Had Raj lead them and jumped away just before the shield tunnel started.

  Found the last dome and did the knock and identify thing as “Agent Green” by Megadeth came on. The peephole opened and, thanks to the music, I was prepared for who was behind the dome this time—Evalyne, whose last name was Green and who asked for identification. “Aren’t you glad that I don’t ever listen to you guys? I mean, right now, not all the time.”

  “It’s her,” Evalyne said. The dome lifted and she grabbed me. “Jeff and Charles are in danger.”

  “Everyone’s in danger.” The shield tunnel arrived, I took off the gas mask, and we headed everyone toward the window.

  “No, I mean they were singled out specifically to not die here with the rest of us. Some people in gas masks just like yours came in with guns. They killed the camera crew and took their equipment. Then they demanded Jeff and Charles, who went with them to avoid more bloodshed. But before they could leave, more people in gas masks came in and they all started fighting.”

  “Fantastic.” Hadn’t noted nor stumbled upon the dead camera team. More dead people caught in Cliff’s crossfire. Realized I hadn’t been really angry yet, just focused, but the murder of innocents seemed to get the old Rage embers sparking. We stopped near to the window and ushered everyone ahead of us. Phoebe nodded to us and took over leading the others.

  “While that was happening, we got a voiceover from Cliff Goodman, sharing that we were all idiots and going to die a horrific death so that he could take over the world. He even cackled. Several times. He released phosgene, which is the deadliest gas in existence.”

  “Good lord.”

  “Yeah. We’d all be dead if not for the Themnir and Lyssara.”

  “Um, as to that—can you explain why we have Themnir poop all over?”

  “Yes. They can absorb any gas through their skins and then excrete it into pellets that are coated so they contain the gas and are nontoxic as long as they aren’t breached.”

  “So, no stepping on Themnir poop, I was already doing that, well done me. I’m going to assume that Siler is as careful because he’s never struck me as a step-in-poop-indiscriminately kind of guy. How do the Themnir not suck up oxygen?”

  “Well, it’s how they breathe as well, so they bring in the good gasses and bad gasses at the same time, then their bodies separate the good, which goes to their lungs or whatever, and the bad, which goes to their alimentary tract or whatever they have. Their planet is very gaseous as well as lush.”

  “Amazing. And thank God Jeff chose to bring them along to this. Does Cliff know what’s going on?”

  “I think so—the dust didn’t start until you arrived. And he was yelling at us for hiding from him. The Lyssara create those honeycomb shelters to protect themselves and their young from various predatory attacks and natural disasters. So, even if we hadn’t had the Themnir, the Lyssara felt their combs would have kept the poisons out.”

  “Wow, go Team New Aliens.”

  “Yes. The combs don’t protect against the Aicirtap.” Evalyne shuddered. “There are three more spaceship Combs on the way. And those contain the last of the Lyssara.”

  “Fantastic. Well, at least, after this, I think they’ll be welcomed here. You know, if we survive the Aicirtap and all that jazz. By the way, is it just me, or do you think Cliff is getting all his career advice from watching Pinky and the Brain, too? I mean that seriously—his plans are baroque and, quite frankly, seem to have been created by a crazed laboratory mouse.”

  Algar apparently agreed with my take on Cliff, as he treated me to the Pinky and the Brain theme song. Wondered if he was going to give me more theme songs. Wasn’t like I had all of them ever written. Just the ones I liked. Which were a lot, as I thought of it. Chose to focus on the moment. Seemed like a wiser choice for my own personal sanity.

  Evalyne laughed and hugged me. “I love working for you, even though most of the time you do my job for me.”

  “Yeah? Let’s see how you feel about it when you get to make the window washing rig leap.” It was Evalyne’s turn to go.

  “Remember that he’ll have a backup plan,” she said as she took Manfred’s hand. “I have no idea what it is, Cliff didn’t say anything about it, but if he wants Jeff and Charles, then he has something else planned.” She swallowed. “We couldn’t protect the President. He wouldn’t let us.”

  “I know. Go back to calling him Jeff. Not because you’re fired or anything, but because that’s the better way to think of him. Because there’s never going to be a time when he’s going to say that his life is more important than yours. I won’t say that, either.”

  She kissed my cheek. “That’s why we’re all willing to take the bullets for you two, though. Not just because it’s our jobs. But because we all know you both mean that.” White took her other hand and they sent her through the gate.

  “We have the five Themnir still to rescue, so to speak, dead civilians somewhere whose bodies I want to get out of here, and I think we still have a fight going on that centers on Jeff and Chuckie. Mahin, I think you can stop the dust storm, but Abby, be ready with the shield. Manfred, Ra
j, Mister White, with me. Avoid stepping on Themnir poop, it’s storing all the bad gas.”

  With that I turned and headed back to get my men, with the theme song from The A-Team playing.

  CHAPTER 77

  WHITE, RAJ, AND MANFRED were right behind me. With the dust settling it was a lot easier to see. The domes were all on their sides, and the Themnir were heading for the window and away from the fighting that was still somehow going on. Well, whoever was fighting was dealing with at least one A-C in the form of Jeff, so that explained why I could still see him and Chuckie.

  Didn’t see Siler anywhere, so either he’d taken off for some reason or he was blending.

  “There is no more poisonous gas that we can detect,” one of the Themnir said to Raj.

  Didn’t think about it, because if I did I might not do it. Threw my arms around its neck and hugged it. “Thank you for saving everyone.” It was kind of slimy but not horrifically so. Hugged the other four Themnir, too.

  “We were happy to be able to be of service in this way,” the first Themnir said.

  “Raj, Manfred, get them through the gates.” It was likely going to take two A-Cs to move the Themnir—they were quite large and hella slow. “Once the Themnir are through, you two go as well.”

  “But you need help,” Manfred protested.

  “I need to know that the Chief of Staff is safely out of this. We still have a country and world to keep running. I have Mister White and the girls. I’m good.”

  White and I took off. He’d grabbed the rolling purse. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Mister White?”

  “I think so, Missus Martini. But I do fear that we’ll hit the wrong people.”

  “Look for band t-shirts, because everyone on our team is in one. If you can’t tell, knock them all out and let the removal of gas masks sort ’em out.”

  We slammed into the mass of fighting, gas-masked people as Joe Jackson’s “Look Sharp!” came on. Our gas masks were off and attached to our belts again, so we were easily identified. Meaning that Claudia and Lorraine didn’t try to hit us and instead pulled their masks off so we could see it was them.

  Them doing that meant that Reader and Tim pulled their masks off too. Sadly, the people who had Jeff and Chuckie were still wearing their masks, though Jeff and Chuckie managed to get theirs off as they spotted us. White and I waded into the fray, White wielding the rolling bag like a very mobile, large, and effective mace.

  But there were easily twenty who had Jeff and Chuckie. Jeff looked tired, and Chuckie looked like he’d gotten hit a lot where it didn’t show. And for every one that White or the rest of us knocked away, two more blocked us.

  “Break off!” one of them shouted. The original language wasn’t English, and I could tell, but beyond that, I didn’t have a clue. Needed to learn more about how the Universal Translator worked. In the downtime. Whenever that might show up.

  The larger group of thugs started dragging Jeff and Chuckie toward the stairwell. Chuckie managed a kick that knocked one of the people holding Jeff loose. White and I slammed through the thugs nearest to him and managed to reach Jeff. I pulled him away as hard as possible and we sort of flew out of the huddle. White was still slamming people with the bag, but they were blocking him from Chuckie.

  “Thanks, baby,” Jeff said as we landed and spun around to head back.

  My music changed to “Duck and Run” by 3 Doors Down as the thugs produced guns and they started shooting at everyone. Grabbed Jeff and pulled him down. Bullets flew over our heads.

  “Run for the window,” White shouted, as he grabbed Tim and followed his own advice at hyperspeed. Lorraine grabbed Reader and did likewise. “Get through the gate!” White called to Mahin and Abigail.

  Claudia was still trying to get to Chuckie. “Get out of here,” Chuckie yelled at her. Right before one of the thugs slammed the butt of his gun against the back of Chuckie’s head.

  “GO!” Jeff bellowed at her as he and I leaped out of the way of more bullets. Jeff shoved me into one of the Lyssara domes, ran over, grabbed Claudia, and ran her to the window.

  Meanwhile, did my best to get to Chuckie, who was definitely unconscious based on how hard that hit had looked and how his head was lolling. But someone grabbed me and flung me around a wall, just as bullets hit the air where I’d been.

  “You don’t like to listen to your husband much, do you?” Siler asked as he unblended. Him grabbing me had happened so fast I hadn’t felt the tingling.

  “They’re going to kill Chuckie!”

  “Not yet.” Siler wasn’t letting go of me. He looked around. “Really?” He shoved me farther away and ran out. He and Jeff were back quickly. Happily, neither one appeared to be shot. “You both have a serious death wish. Do you actually want your children to be raised by others?”

  “My parents did a great job with me, so I’m not worried. But I do see your point, Nightcrawler. Jeff, are you okay?”

  He pulled me to him and hugged me tightly, hearts pounding. “Yeah, baby, I’m okay, all things considered. I have no idea where they’re taking Chuck, though.”

  “We need to rescue the rest of the rescue team first,” Siler said. “Which includes your cousin.”

  White joined us. “The gunmen have all left. We have a cleanup team coming,” he shared as a bunch of people in hazmat suits arrived. “They’re taking the Themnir excrement and any dead bodies. The moment they’re done, the gate is going to be gone.”

  “I’d love to tell all three of you to go and let me handle it,” Siler said, “but I know what you’ll say, so I’ll save my breath.”

  “We need to get up to the floor where Christopher went dark, is what I’m saying. And I’m sure I speak for Jeff and Mister White, too.”

  “You do,” White said. He grabbed Jeff and hugged him. “It’s good to see you still alive and well, Jeffrey.”

  “Thanks, Uncle Richard, and I’ll say the same for you, too,” Jeff said as he hugged him back tightly. “All of you.” He reached out and pulled me and Siler into the group hug. I was used to this, but I could tell it still sort of surprised Siler. But he went with it and hugged back.

  “We need to get upstairs fast,” I said once we broke up the group hug. “And we can’t use the elevators.”

  “I have plenty of ‘juice’ left, Missus Martini.”

  “So do I,” Siler said. “Mostly because I gave up trying to get into the fight and checked our exit options instead. There are G-Company troops in the stairwell going down, and I assume it’s more G-Company thugs who have Reynolds.”

  “They fought really well,” Jeff said. “As in, I couldn’t get them off of us, and normally I don’t have trouble with humans who aren’t Centaurion trained.”

  “There were a lot of them, and I think they were using some sort of tech that made them stronger because I gave up due to not being able to make a dent, which I’m not used to. Kitty’s right to not trust the elevators, I think they’re shut down.”

  “Per Raj they are, yeah. And I think if they’re off, then it’s Cliff’s side doing it. I don’t want us stuck in a metal box that can plummet us to our messy deaths, call me crazy.” On cue, Patsy Cline started crooning “Crazy.” Algar was enjoying this entire raid far too much.

  The last person in a hazmat suit came near. “We’re leaving now. Are you sure you don’t want to come with us, Mister President?”

  “I’m positive, yes,” Jeff said.

  Watched the hazmat team leave. Reader and Tim stepped through just before the floater stopped shimmering.

  “What are you guys doing here?” I asked.

  “Our jobs,” Reader said flatly. “In case you’ve forgotten what your jobs happen to be these days, which I’m really clear that you have.”

  “Claudia and Lorraine are handling things at Dulce,” Tim said. “We came back to help you. Forgive us, we jus
t can’t help ourselves. It’s in the job descriptions—help Jeff and Kitty even when they insist they can do it all themselves.”

  “Oh, it’s always nice to see you two, stop whining.”

  “Also, Dulce shares that there was nothing in the rubber cobra, but that there was indeed a little note in the fake bomb,” Tim continued. “It said ‘Kill you soon, see you sooner.’”

  “Really? That was it?”

  Tim shrugged. “Cliff’s insane, Kitty. I mean really and truly over the edge. It’s no less stupid than putting children’s toys into your suitcase as an opening salvo.”

  “True dat.”

  “I’ve checked in with Camilla,” Reader said, ignoring me and Tim. “All’s well at the palace, everyone remains safe, but no word from anyone still missing.”

  “What about Rahmi? Where is she?”

  “I have no idea.” Reader looked worried. “She came in with us. We hit G-Company thugs in the stairwell, but we were able to get through them easily enough. In fact, Rahmi slammed her staff through all of them, in the heart or head, depending, because she said she was following your rules and making sure they were really most sincerely dead.”

  “I’m so proud.”

  “Uh, yeah, that’s one emotion that you could choose in that instance. I went with relief that she’s no longer hating men you consider on your side and calling it good. But once we got into the restaurant and the fighting started I could barely keep track of who was who. The gas masks really make you anonymous.”

  “That’s it.” Everyone looked at me. Heaved a sigh. “She shifted to look like one of the thugs. She’s going with them to protect Chuckie. She’s the only one who has a shot at it, too, at least right now.”

  “I hope you’re right,” Jeff said. “Because I know whatever Cliff has planned for Chuck is going to redefine horrific.”

  “Then let’s get the rest of the team here and get to finding where Cliff’s hiding out.”

  “You don’t think he’s here, in the tower somewhere?” Siler asked as we headed for the stairwell.