Trouble Don’t Last Always

by Francis Ray

  Adam popped his baseball cap on his head. “Tell her I have dibs on the front seat.”

  Lilly removed her hand and spoke into the mouthpiece: “We’ll meet you at the garage. Adam says he has dibs on the front seat.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Adam and his mother climbed inside Lilly’s car and buckled their seat belts as if they were seated on supple leather instead of slick velour seats. The Ford was clean, if a bit faded. Adam’s willingness to leave the grounds for the first time since he arrived was all that really mattered.

  “Here.” Lilly handed Adam a pen and a notepad as soon as she finished buckling her seat belt. “I didn’t have time to write down what I needed. I always forget if I don’t have it written down.”

  Adam’s fingers trembled, then firmed. “Don’t say anything if you can’t read my writing.”

  In the rearview mirror Lilly watched the worry fade from Eleanor’s face. “Doctors are notorious for their bad handwriting, but if I can’t read it, I figure your mother can.”

  “Your father’s handwriting was nearly illegible and I had no problems,” Eleanor said.

  “What are you writing?” Lilly asked Adam, putting the car into gear and backing out of the garage.

  “ ‘Book.’ You finished The Perfect Alibi. Maybe there’s a decent book section in the grocery store.”

  “If not, we can run by the bookstore after we finish grocery shopping. There’s nothing that will spoil,” Lilly told him.

  “We’ll see,” Adam said carefully.

  Adam had nearly changed his mind by the time Lilly parked at the grocery store. What if he wasn’t ready? Instead of letting fear rule him, he pushed it aside, unbuckled his seat belt, and got out. He took Lilly’s arm, but he was well aware that his mother was on the other side of him.

  Inside the store, Lilly obtained a cart, placed his hands on the handle, then slowly steered it through the store. To the casual observer he was a man wearing sunglasses and a cap, pushing a cart. If the observer looked more closely, he’d see the cane and the upward tilt of Adam’s head that he practiced daily to bring back into correct alignment.

  Ten minutes into shopping, Lilly walked up to his right. “Eleanor is going to take the cart and get in line while we go check out the books.”

  Fear came again, but before it could take root and grow, Adam reached out. He located Lilly’s arm, and positioned his hand just above her elbow. He tried to relax his grip but knew he wasn’t succeeding. “Sorry.”

  “A very smart man once told me to take that word out of my vocabulary.”

  “Did you listen?”

  “I’m trying.”

  “In that case, let’s go find that book.”

  She started walking. His heart boomed. His throat dried as she led him through the store. He was a blind man in a maze with only the touch of her arm to guide him, trusting her not to let him walk into anything. Immediately he realized how different and scary this was away from his house. He just as immediately realized he trusted her. His fingers relaxed.

  “We’re almost there, Adam.”

  “See anything remotely interesting?” he asked when they stopped.

  “A couple. I’ll read the blurb and you can tell me which one you’d like.” Lilly plucked a few books from the rack. Adam thought the second one about a murder in a casino had possibilities.

  “Double or Nothing it is.” Lilly took his arm and joined Eleanor, who was in line to check out. Lilly gave her the keys to her car. “You two can wait in the car. This shouldn’t take long.”

  “Mama, why is that woman leading that man around?” asked a high-pitched voice.

  “Hush, Michelle.”

  The three of them froze. Lilly’s and Eleanor’s gaze went to Adam, unsure of what to expect. “Adam, I’m tired. Why don’t we go to the car?” Eleanor said, reaching for his arm.

  “I’m not. I’ll push the cart and you go on to the car.” His jaw tight, his hands gripped the handle.

  Lilly’s throat ached. She could do nothing, say nothing, to help. So she gave him the support the only way she could. She stepped beside him and placed her hand briefly next to his.

  He didn’t say anything on the way back to the house. Once there he excused himself and went straight to his room.

  “Do you think one of us should go up?” Eleanor asked, staring up after her son.

  Lilly placed her hand on the newel post and watched Adam until he was out of sight. “Let’s wait until dinner.”

  Lilly took a deep breath and knocked. Adam hadn’t come back downstairs since they returned from the grocery store.

  “Adam.” Becoming concerned when he didn’t answer, she knocked again. “Adam, dinner is ready.”

  “I’m not—”

  Her hand already on the knob twisted. He wasn’t hiding in his room if she could help it.

  The door swung open. She gasped and slammed it shut, her cheeks burning.

  The door opened. She pivoted sharply and squeezed her eyes shut. Her breathing was out of kilter. She could still see him naked, the breadth of his shoulders, the muscled hardness of his chest, the tapered waist and long legs.

  “I–I’m sorry. I didn’t know you weren’t dressed.”

  “Obviously.”

  “I–I’ll wait downstairs.” She started easing away, forgot about the table, and bumped into it. Down she went.

  “Lilly! Watch out!” Realizing what had happened, he knelt and reached out his hand to help her up. His fingers pressed something soft and resilient. Her sharp intake of breath told him what it was.

  “Sorry.” His hand shifted farther to left of her breast and closed around her upper forearm. “You all right?”

  “Are you dressed?”

  “Your eyes closed?” he asked, laughter lurking just under the surface of his voice.

  “Of course they are!”

  “I thought you’d been married?”

  “That’s not the same and you know it.”

  “I suppose you’re right. Open your eyes. I have my robe on.”

  One eye opened, then the other. Her gaze didn’t drop below midchest. The robe hung loosely on his shoulders. A smattering of dark chest hair ran in a dramatic V to his waist. Her head snapped up. He was grinning. And her behind hurt.

  “Glad you find this funny.”

  “Why didn’t you wait to come in?”

  “I thought you were upset by what that little girl said and you were going to tell me you weren’t coming downstairs for dinner,” she told him truthfully.

  “And you weren’t going to let me sulk, is that it?”

  Although she wasn’t sure of his mood, she was sure of her answer. “No. You’ve come too far. I figure we both have. You don’t let me backslide. I’m not letting you, either.”

  “We’re a team, huh?”

  “We certainly are.”

  His head lowered for a second, then lifted. “I almost did; then I started thinking. I’ve made strides in the past weeks. Good ones. My blindness doesn’t impose limits on me. I do. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re helpless.”

  “About time you figured that out,” Lilly said. A pat on the back was the last thing he needed. “Now, if you’ll help me up, I’ll go tell Eleanor you’re on your way.”

  Standing, he smoothly brought her up with him. “Maybe you’re the one who should be eating more.”

  “I’m fine,” she said, wishing he’d close his robe, wishing he didn’t smell so good. He must have just stepped from the shower. She groaned. The last thing she needed to be thinking of was Adam naked beneath the spray of water.

  “You’re hurt?” he asked.

  “No.” She swallowed. “I better go.”

  “Thanks for caring.” Raising her hand, he kissed her palm. “I’ll be downstairs as soon as I dress.”

  The door closed with Lilly’s hand still in midair. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the wall, Jonathan’s words that day in the kitchen coming back to her. She’d done the u
nthinkable with the impossible, but if she could she wouldn’t change a thing. Adam needed her, and being needed was almost as good as being loved. She told herself that all the way downstairs, but when Adam came into the dining room she knew she lied and just as surely knew that being needed was all she’d ever have.

  Lilly strolled from the mailbox with a carryall full of mail. Since the day after Odette’s accident, Adam had filled out a request that all his mail be forwarded from his home in Sausalito. She bet the mailman on the route was sorry. She didn’t see how one person could get so much mail. Magazines, circulars, newspapers. Eleanor had told her one afternoon when they were going through his mail together that the amount was less than half of what he had received when he was practicing.

  Opening the front door, she continued to the study, where Adam would be waiting. More than likely he’d be on the computer. He was becoming very adept at finding information. Day by day, bit by bit, he pushed back the walls that had once bound him.

  “Mail’s in.”

  Without turning from the computer, he said, “What’s there today?”

  Putting the canvas bag on his desk, she began lifting out the letters. “Medical journals, a garden magazine, circulars.” She stopped and stared down at the thick, six-by-six book in a hand that had suddenly became unsteady.

  “That all?”

  “The catalog from Shreveport Junior College,” she said quietly.

  He spun around in the chair. “When is registration for the summer session?”

  “I don’t know about this, Adam. Maybe I should wait?”

  “Your business is growing. You have steady customers. You need to know how to ensure your business will be successful, and finishing your degree will enable you to do that.” His tone broached no argument.

  “I’m still a small business.”

  He held out his hand. “It might take me longer for the scanner to input the information onto the computer to read to me, but I’ll find out eventually, so you might as well tell me.”

  “All right.” She’d met few people more stubborn than he. She opened the book. “June first.”

  “Next week. Perfect. The fact that you’re going to college is bound to weigh heavily in your favor when you go to court.”

  “Immoral people go to college, too.”

  Standing, he came around the desk without the aid of the cane. “True, but you’ll have Mother and me as character witnesses.”

  “What?”

  “We talked it over. When you go back for your hearing, you won’t go alone.”

  The tears pricked her eyes and flowed down her cheek. “Th-Tha—” She couldn’t get the words out.

  “Lilly.” He pulled her into his arms. She went readily, her head resting over the strong beat of his heart. “You aren’t alone anymore. There are people who care about you.”

  She tried to stem the flow of tears, but the more she tried, the more they flowed.

  “Don’t be afraid. He won’t hurt you. I promise.”

  She shook her head. She wasn’t crying over Myron; her heartache was for what could never be. Pushing away, she wiped the tears away. “I didn’t mean to cry all over you.”

  “Any time.”

  She laid the catalog aside. “I’ll look over the catalog later. Let’s get through your mail.” She reached in the bag and pulled out a letter. “It’s from Kristen.”

  “It must be her invitation. The other night on the phone she said it was in the mail.” Without asking, Lilly handed the letter to him. He opened the invitation as he rounded the desk. The pads of his fingertips traced the raised letters; then he placed it on the scanner. “Come on. Come on,” Adam coaxed. “Maybe I should have let—”

  The computer cut him off and read Kristen’s invitation and her note on the inside indicating that she was graduating with distinction and honors. Adam let out a loud yell.

  “I take it that’s good,” Lilly teased.

  “You need a 4-point grade average to graduate with distinction. Stanford doesn’t have cum laude. To graduate with honors requires the undergrad to write a thesis that resulted in a major research paper,” Adam explained with unabashed pride.

  “She’s so young. I can understand why you’re so proud of her!” Lilly exclaimed.

  “Don’t let that beautiful face and quiet manner fool you. She’s brilliant. It might take her a long time to decide what she wants, but once she does there’s no stopping her. You remind me of her a lot.”

  Adam picked up the phone and dialed. “Mother, I want you to hear something.”

  Lilly half-listened this time as the optical scanner read the invitation once again. Her mind was stuck back on Adam’s reference to her reminding him of his sister. They were nothing alike. Lilly heard Eleanor’s unladylike shout. Her and Adam’s love for each other was so evident. Briefly Lilly wondered what it must have been like to grow up secure in knowing you were loved and wanted.

  Adam replaced the receiver. “Mother is on her way.”

  “I heard,” Lilly said. “She’s the kind of mother every child should have.”

  “Mother Crawford sounds as if she was the same way.”

  Lilly didn’t even think of correcting him. It wasn’t Minnie Crawford’s fault that Myron hadn’t been the kind of son she could be proud of. “Yes, she was.”

  Eleanor arrived at the house breathless. She read the invitation, then listened as the computer did the same. The voice on the computer had barely faded before Adam had the operator on the line to place a call to Kristen.

  “Trying to show your big brother up?” he teased when she was on the line. “I’m proud of you, Sis. Hold on. Here’s Mother.”

  Eleanor took the phone. “I’m so proud I could walk all the way to California for your graduation.” She laughed. “I guess if I did I would be too tired to be at my best for the commencement ceremony at the stadium, then later at the art department. We’ll come in Saturday morning.” She nodded. “I’ll make arrangements as soon as I get off the phone.”

  Adam tapped his mother on the arm. “Hold on, Kristen. Adam is trying to tell me something.”

  “You can fly back today if she needs you. Lilly and I can come up later.”

  Lilly, who had been standing quietly to the side, blinked. She started to tell them she couldn’t go, but Eleanor was already speaking, “I can fly back today if you need me to help with anything. Your last exam isn’t until Wednesday.…I see. I’ll stay here and we’ll all fly up together then. I’d love to have a dinner party Saturday night. Perhaps you can invite Eric.…Wonderful. I’ll call you later today when the plans are firmed up. Love you. Bye.”

  Eleanor hung up and turned to Adam. “She did it, Adam.”

  “She certainly did. In grand style.” He folded his arms. “She hadn’t mentioned Eric lately. I guess they’re still dating.”

  Eleanor smiled. “Why is it that big brothers never like their younger sisters’ dates?”

  “Because we have reasons,” he came back, but he was smiling, too.

  “I–I can’t go with you,” Lilly finally managed, still standing in front of his desk.

  Adam twirled in his chair toward her. “And why not?”

  “I–I’m just the hired help,” she said, using Nicole’s words and hating them just as much now as she had then.

  His mouth tightened. “After all we’ve been through together, you think that’s all we are to each other?”

  Lilly sent a worried glance toward Eleanor. Her blank expression told her nothing.

  “What happened to us being a team? You aren’t going to let me go off without you to test Brent’s bragging, are you?”

  “I—”

  “No arguing. You’re going,” Adam cut her off. “Isn’t that right, Mother?”

  “I quite agree,” Eleanor said firmly. “You’ve helped make this possible.”

  Lilly looked at Eleanor, always fashionably and neatly dressed as she was now in a white poplin shirt and floral print sarong skirt,
then thought of the equally impressive Nicole and Kristen. “I have nothing to wear.”

  Laughing, Adam shook his head. “Just like a woman.”

  “A sensible woman,” Eleanor said. She’d wanted to take Lilly in hand for weeks and now had the perfect opportunity. “If you want, I could help you decide on a few outfits. Perhaps a new style for your hair.”

  Lilly’s hands went to her ponytailed hair. She hadn’t been inside a beauty salon in over three months. “I’d appreciate it.”

  “You may not after you finish,” Adam said.

  Lilly frowned. “Why?”

  “Mother makes an expedition of shopping, searching for the right dress in the right color. Father used to say turning Mother loose in a clothing store was like turning a child loose in a candy store. She’ll sample everything before coming to a decision.”

  Eleanor lifted a regal shoulder. “What can I say? I’m fussy about what I wear, and I want quality, style, and endurance. It often takes time to find all three.”

  “You always look wonderful.”

  “Thank you, Lilly. We’ll get started immediately after breakfast in the morning,” Eleanor said.

  “Better eat a good breakfast and wear comfortable shoes.” Adam sat back and folded his arms.

  “It couldn’t be that bad,” Lilly said.

  “You’ll see,” was all Adam said.

  Jonathan sat behind his desk on the eighth floor of the medical building and enjoyed a rare leisure moment. This morning they were running ahead of schedule. He’d never believed in overbooking, but the moments when he could relax in his office were few and far between. He wanted time to listen to his patients and time for them to listen to him.

  For that reason, each exam room was painted a pale pastel except for the wall facing the exam table, which was covered in floral silk wallpaper. Fluid watercolor paintings hung on the wall. On the ceiling directly over the table were landscapes of sweeping vistas, mountain waterfalls, endless oceans for the patient to focus on.