Trouble Don’t Last Always

by Francis Ray

  Kristen stared at the handle as if it were a snake.

  “What’s taking—” Eric stopped when he saw Kristen. He quickly closed his paisley silk robe, but not before she had seen that he was naked beneath. Welts marked his legs.

  Kristen felt physically sick. Her hand clutched her stomach.

  “What the hell?” he growled. “You aren’t supposed to be here until tomorrow.”

  “I wanted to surprise you,” she said, still unable to believe what she was seeing.

  The smile that curved his thin mouth was cruel and taunting. His arm curved around the other woman’s narrow waist. “I’d say you were the one who was surprised. No matter. Star’s late, so you can take her place.”

  “What?”

  Eric’s expression hardened. “Grow up, Kris. You think I didn’t try to get in your pants because I valued you. Be for real. I like sex and I like it rough. My old man hired a private investigator to keep an eye on me after a little trouble at Cornell the fall semester. That’s why I transferred to Stanford. Took a lot of pull on my old man’s part to make sure I graduated.

  “Since he holds the purse strings until he croaks, I had to toe the line, including finishing college. You were perfect to keep him off my back.”

  Slowly his words sank in. “You never cared,” Kristen whispered.

  “You didn’t receive honors and distinction for nothing. Me, I barely squeaked by.” He bit the woman on the arm, leaving teeth marks. His eyes remained on Kristen.

  “You’ll pay for that later,” Diamond said, rubbing the handle of the whip down his arm.

  Despite the revulsion she felt, there was one last question Kristen had to ask: “Why did you invite me?”

  “There was always the possibility that I could turn you to the dark side, so to speak.” His upper lip curled. “But, on second thought, I don’t think you would be worth the effort.”

  The words were meant to inflict pain. They did, mercilessly so. Yet somehow Kristen found the strength to keep her face expressionless. “For the first time, you’re right about me. Now I need to take a bath and forget you ever existed.”

  Picking up her suitcase, she went downstairs and hailed a cab. At the Ritz-Carlton she registered, went to her suite, stripped, stepped under the spray of hot water, and let the tears fall.

  Lilly’s life was hectic and getting more so by the day. She couldn’t have been more pleased.

  Taking care of the house and Adam was no problem, but with going to class and now studying for final exams, running her growing business was beginning to put more pressure on her. Thank goodness her final exams were tomorrow. The only bad thing about it was, five days later she was to appear in court.

  She glanced up from the business management textbook in her hand. Adam stood in front of the window in the living room, his face turned toward the darkened night, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Over the past days he had grown quieter and quieter.

  Laying the book aside, Lily went to him. “What’s the matter?”

  “It’s not getting any better.”

  Her heart clenched. “There’s always tomorrow.”

  “Perhaps not for me.”

  “Adam, you can’t give up.” She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Please.”

  His hand came out of his pocket to glide lightly over her cheek. “Don’t mind me. Go back to studying.”

  Her body trembled. “My head is full. I’d rather take a break and go sit in the swing.”

  “Mind if I come with you?”

  “I insist.” Lightly looping her arm through his, she allowed him to lead them outside to the swing. As they sat side by side, hands clasped, Adam set the swing in motion. Neither spoke for a long time.

  Lilly broke the silence. “Miracles happen, Adam. It was a miracle that my car stopped near here, but I didn’t know it at the time. Don’t give up, no matter what.”

  He squeezed her hand. “I realize how important faith is, Lilly. People think the doctor heals. We don’t. We prescribe, incise, but it’s a higher power who decides the outcome. I forgot that, and started to depend on myself.”

  “I used to wonder why God let Myron abuse me. I gave up on Myron, but not on God. You can’t, either.”

  “I used to wonder why me. Why not some other creep? Then I’d wonder what if I had given them the keys? What if the light had been green instead of red? What if some other neurologist had been on call instead of me? You know what I finally decided?”

  “What?”

  “Even if I knew the reason, I’d still be blind,” he said quietly. “It’s up to me how I handle it from here.”

  Jonathan woke up first that morning, then immediately turned to gaze at the woman in the bed beside him. His love for Eleanor still had the power to make him weak. She was all that he had ever wished for. He’d come by late last night and stayed. Noticeably upset about Kristen’s trip to New York, she’d gone to sleep in his arms. They hadn’t made love, but he had cherished being with her just as much. Love meant caring and sharing in good and bad times.

  His mother had been wrong to deny herself love all these years. Even after his father had died, after the woman he’d run off with had deserted him when the judge awarded the restaurant to Jonathan’s mother, she had remained bitter. She treated her customers with the Southern hospitality they expected at a four-star restaurant in New Orleans, but she did it out of greed, not graciousness. Nothing he had done or said made the slightest difference in the way she thought. To her, love meant being vulnerable. She’d missed out on so much.

  Eleanor stirred in her sleep. The sheet slipped down over her breasts. Desire stirred. He enjoyed watching her, touching her, and he’d finally gotten her out of reaching for her nightgown when they finished making love. He enjoyed their bare skin touching while they were asleep. Last night he had solved the problem by undressing her himself, then holding her until she went to sleep. But there was another enjoyable advantage. At moments like this he didn’t have to worry about a nightgown.

  In one smooth moment he moved over her, pressed his lips to hers, and gently slid into her moist heat, reveling that even in her sleep she wanted him as he wanted her.

  “Jonathan.” She breathed his name as her eyelids fluttered open.

  He lifted his head and stared down at her. In her eyes he saw all that he had ever wanted or desired. He moved and her eyelids fluttered closed. Her arms went around his shoulders.

  “I love you, Eleanor.”

  “I love you, too.”

  He took them on a slow ride, letting the pleasure build until her nails dug into his back, her legs locked around his hips. The tempo increased; the thrusts were deep and exquisite. When release came, it was explosive and powerful.

  Gathering her to him, Jonathan rolled over in bed, his breathing labored. “I may be getting too old for this.”

  Her lips brushed across the curve of his jaw. “I hope not.”

  Chuckling, he came up with her and headed for the shower. “Eleanor, my love, you do keep a man humble.”

  “It’s a knack.”

  Eleanor hung up the phone and glanced at the clock. Seven-thirty A.M. New York was an hour ahead. Kristen should be in her room. Picking up the phone, Eleanor called Jonathan at his house. He’d left forty minutes ago.

  “Hello.”

  “She still doesn’t answer.” Even before Jonathan left, Eleanor had tried to call Kristen. She’d continued ever since.

  “She probably went downstairs for breakfast.” The cordless phone in one hand, Jonathan pulled his navy blue suit from the closet. “She’s all right.”

  Eleanor sat on the edge of the sofa and wished Jonathan were still there. “I suppose. It’s just that—”

  “She’s your baby and your worry.” Opening a drawer, he grabbed a clean pair of socks and tossed them on the bed to join the suit and fresh underwear. “She’ll call you after the interview.”

  “I suppose. Have a good day.”

  “You, too. Lov
e you.”

  “Love you,” Eleanor repeated and hung up the phone.

  Rising, she went to the house to see if Adam had heard from Kristen. He hadn’t. Not wanting to worry him, she wished Lilly good luck on her final exams that day and went back to the cottage and called again. No answer. Nor did Kristen answer any of the other calls that followed.

  Eleanor debated for all of two seconds whether having a nervous mother would detract from Kristen’s interview, then reached for the phone. She got a recording at the museum, which didn’t open until ten. Her arms folded, she paced the floor and watched the clock.

  Kristen had checked out of the hotel that morning without listening to her messages on the off chance that Eric might have called. Just thinking his name made her feel stupid and naive. Her hand holding her stomach, she glanced out the window of the plane as it readied for takeoff to Dallas. There hadn’t been a flight to Shreveport until later that afternoon, and she wanted to leave New York.

  “Would you like anything to drink?”

  “No, thank you.” Kristen didn’t even glance at the stewardess in first class. She didn’t think she could stand to look at another blonde without recalling what a terrible mess she had almost made of her life.

  Out of courtesy to the museum’s director and respect for her professor, she’d kept the interview. She’d worn a hastily purchased pair of shades and lied that her allergies were the cause of her red, swollen eyes. She had expressed her regret that she had decided against moving to New York, thanked the director for his time, then gone outside and hailed a cab.

  “You have about five minutes before you’ll have to cut off all electronic equipment,” the stewardess advised the businesswoman next to Kristen. The woman had a phone in one manicured hand, the fingers of the other hand flying over her laptop.

  Suddenly the words Kristen had typed on the laptop at Eric’s urging came hurtling back to her. Embarrassing, lewd words, but she had done it because she thought he loved her. Opening her purse, she pulled out her credit card and reached for the phone.

  Adam answered on the second ring. She didn’t give him time to ask questions. “I finished the interview. I’m flying to Dallas to visit friends. I’ll probably spend the night. I have to hang up now. Bye.”

  Settling back in the seat, she glanced out the window as the plane backed away from the gate. She was leaving New York, but the shame was going with her.

  Adam had planned everything with his mother’s help. She’d thrown herself into the preparations once she knew Kristen was fine. When Lilly arrived back from her final exam, he’d purposefully kept her busy in his study until Jonathan had entered. That had been the signal. They’d gone into the dining room together, where his mother had prepared a surprise dinner.

  He’d heard Lilly’s cry of delight, felt her arms around him, and realized again how much he missed seeing. He’d taken so much for granted in his life. Not anymore.

  Seating Lilly to his right at the table, he picked up his wineglass and proposed a toast to the beginning of a career and life for her. Sipping his wine, he came to a decision about his own life.

  It remained to be seen if it was the beginning for him or the end.

  Unable to sleep, Adam had come downstairs a little after midnight and gone outside. He smelled the rain in the air, listened to the angry thunder, the answering crackle of lightning.

  “Adam, are you all right?”

  Somehow he wasn’t surprised that she was there. Since she’d come into his life she had always been there when he needed her the most.

  He held out his hand and she was immediately by his side. “I used to enjoy watching storms. I enjoyed so much that I may never again.”

  Lilly bit her lower lip; her hand tightened in his. “Adam, you can’t give up hope.”

  “I haven’t, but neither can I go on living this way. I called Louis when I went upstairs after dinner. My surgery is scheduled for the day after tomorrow.”

  “Adam ...” Fear choked the rest of her words off.

  Gently he drew her into his arms. “What have I told you about wasting tears on me?”

  She clutched him to her. “I’ve never met a better man.”

  Needing to lighten the mood, Adam lifted his head and said, “You didn’t think that when we first met.”

  “Deep down I must have or I wouldn’t have stayed.”

  His hand palmed her cheek. Unbeknownst to him, her eyelids drifted shut. “Maybe I’ll be able to go with you for your court hearing.”

  She bit her lip. “I have to do this on my own, or else I can never be free of him.”

  “I thought you’d be stubborn about this,” he said.

  “Some paths you have to walk alone.”

  “Just so you know at the end of the path I’ll be waiting. I’d put off this surgery if I thought you’d let me go with you.”

  The implication of his words swept through her. Her voice trembled when she asked, “Do you mean that?”

  “Do you have to ask?”

  “Adam,” she said; her arms went around his waist. She felt love and wanted to love. “I wish—”

  “Shhh. We’ll save all the wishes until you’re free and I can see. Now come inside and read me a story. I don’t think either of us is going to sleep much tonight.”

  Kristen checked into a hotel at the airport in Dallas, then checked out around nine. She wanted to be around people who loved her. Unable to get a commercial flight to Shreveport, she rented a car and started driving. She stopped once for gas on the outskirts of town.

  As she pulled into the entrance of Adam’s house, tension whipped through her again. They’d ask questions about the interview, her trip, Eric. She couldn’t tell them. She couldn’t.

  Leaving the car in one of the two empty bays, she used her key and entered the house through the side door. Thunder drowned out the sound. She was at the stairs when she saw the light shining from beneath the closed door of Adam’s study. Quietly she went up the stairs and into her room.

  The laptop on the desk in her room was a silent condemnation. Guilt and shame ate at her. Restless, she went back outside as quietly as she had come. She didn’t know where she was heading until the path straightened and she saw her mother’s cottage.

  And her mother and Jonathan in the doorway. Their mouths were pressed passionately together. Jonathan’s hands greedily cupped her mother’s hips. One of them moaned.

  Rage swept through Kristen like the hot blast of a furnace. They were going at it like two animals in heat. “How could you!”

  Eleanor jerked away from Jonathan and stared into the enraged face of her daughter a few feet away. “Kristen—”

  “I knew something was going on between you.”

  “Please, let me explain,” Eleanor said, reaching out to her daughter. This couldn’t be happening.

  “How could you defame Father’s memory like this, and with his best friend?”

  “Your mother and I have nothing to be ashamed of,” Jonathan said. “We love each other.”

  “You love each other so much that you’re sneaking off screw—”

  “That’s enough, Kristen,” Jonathan said. “I won’t have you talk to your mother that way.”

  Kristen swept her windblown hair out of her angry face. “How are you going to stop me? Hit me?”

  “Jonathan. Kristen. Please,” Eleanor pleaded, her tears mixing with the drizzling rain that had started. “You know he’d never hurt you.”

  “He’s hurting me now! You both are!” Tears streamed down Kristen’s cheeks. “How can you do something like this? Like a common slut.”

  Jonathan advanced on Kristen. Eleanor caught his arm. “No.”

  Kristen didn’t flinch. “He couldn’t hurt me any more than I already am. I hate you. I hate both of you!” Turning, she ran into the night.

  “Kristen.” Eleanor started after her.

  “Eleanor, wait.” Jonathan caught her before she had gone two steps, his strength and determinat
ion unshakable.

  Eleanor strained against his hold. “Let me go. I have to go after her.”

  “What about me, Eleanor?” he asked, his voice filled with despair.

  She blinked as if she didn’t understand him, then turned to look in the direction Kristen had fled. “Kristen!”

  “Eleanor.” He turned her to face him. “Do you love me?”

  “Jon—”

  “Do you love me?” The words were quiet and wrenched from his soul.

  Eleanor finally stopped fighting and understood the question and the implication behind it. Her heart broke, but there could be only one answer. “My children have to come first.”

  He stared at her a long time, then released his hold. “Good-bye, Eleanor.”

  She didn’t hear him. She was already running into the rain-swept night. He’d lost her. The pain was crippling. He’d gambled and lost. He wasn’t sure he could survive this time.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Kristen burst into the house and headed straight for the one person who could console her. Jonathan and her mother had betrayed her. Not pausing to knock, she opened the study door to see Adam and Lilly sitting on the couch, her head on his shoulder, a closed book in her hands.

  Lilly straightened immediately, but not before Kristen had seen Adam’s hand in her hair. “What are you doing?” Kristen asked angrily.

  “Kristen,” Adam straightened up. “When did you get home? How—”

  “Apparently I wasn’t missed by you or Mother.” The look Kristen shot Lilly was accusatory and filled with venom.

  Lilly tucked her head and stared down at the closed book in her hand.

  “Kristen, what’s gotten into you?” Frowning, Adam removed his arm from around Lilly’s shoulders.

  Jonathan had taken her mother; now Lilly sought to take Adam. Kristen had no intention of losing another person she loved. “I want to see my brother alone.”

  The book clutched to her chest, Lilly stared at the other woman. “I’ll go make some tea. Don’t you think it would be best if you changed out of those wet clothes first?”

  “You’ve been out in the rain?” Adam’s frown deepened as he came to his feet. “Kristen, what’s the matter?”