Plain Jayne

by Laura Drewry

  “No it’s not.”

  “Why not? I mean, I’d never date a cop, but he seems okay.” Ellie twisted her head to look at Jayne, then grinned. “Is this a Nick thing? I thought you said you were just friends.”

  “We are just friends!”

  “But?”

  “But,” Jayne sputtered. “But … I don’t know! I’m so confused.” She pressed the side of her head to the window and grabbed the door handle as Ellie wheeled around a curve in the road.

  “Confused. Okay.” Ellie nodded. “Well, we have the better part of an hour before we get to the city, so break it down for me, and let’s try to figure it out.”

  “I can’t,” Jayne sighed. “There’s too much.”

  Lead-foot Ellie wasn’t going to be put off. “Sure you can. Reader’s Digest condensed version. Go.”

  At the speed Ellie was driving, they’d be in the city well before an hour was up, so Jayne spoke as fast as she could, hitting as many highlights as she could, including a brief sampling of life with Gran, Nick, Abby, Barry, a few of the other princes she’d dated, Nick again, and every confusing thing she’d seen, heard, or felt in the last six weeks, including the moment up at the lake when she thought Nick might kiss her. She left out the part about how it nearly broke her when he didn’t.

  “Wow,” Ellie breathed. “That’s, um, wow.”

  “Yeah, ‘wow’ doesn’t actually help me, Ellie. What do I do?”

  Ellie licked her lips and squinted through the windshield.

  “Okay, first of all, I can’t believe my ass he married that other chick.”

  “Abby,” Jayne said. “And why not? She was smart, and funny, and gorgeous like you wouldn’t believe. I’m talkin’ Victoria’s-Secret-supermodel gorgeous. He loved her.”

  “Uh-huh. And what about you?”

  “Oh, please.” Jayne clicked her tongue. “If I had a picture of her, you’d understand.”

  “Doubt it.” Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel and her eyes flashed. “He’s a big dumb ass like the rest of them.”

  “No he’s not. He’s sweet and—”

  “Oh, don’t even start,” Ellie warned, pulling out to pass the Fiat in front of them. “Sweet guys don’t dump you for another chick.”

  “He didn’t dump me. We were friends, we’ve always been friends.”

  “Puh-lease.” She wheeled the car back into the right lane. “So what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know.” She sounded pathetic even to her own ears. “Do you always drive this fast?”

  “Yes.” She flashed Jayne a quick smile. “Okay, forget everything else. If Dumb Ass told you right here, right now, he couldn’t stand it another second and he needed to have at it with you in the backseat—and I’m talking eyes rolling to the back of your head, tsunami-causing, earth-shattering sex—what would you say?”

  “Nick wouldn’t do that. He’s with Lisa.”

  “Jayne! Focus. What would you say?”

  “Well, I don’t … I mean, if Lisa wasn’t in the picture …” Jayne stopped, chewed her bottom lip until the top layer of skin pulled up. Finally, she dropped her face into her hands and growled. “Yes.”

  “And given the little kissy episode up by the lake, I’d be willing to bet he was just a couple bee stings shy of asking.” Her face softened as she turned to look at Jayne.

  “Eyes on the road!”

  Ellie clicked her tongue and sighed. “He’s still a dumb ass for marrying that other chick.”

  “Abby.”

  “Whatever. Is it just sex? ’Cause if it’s just sex, you can get that with anyone, Jayne, it doesn’t have to be with Dumb Ass.”

  “It’s not just sex. I think about him all the time, and when I’m not with him, it’s like a physical pain right here.” She pressed her fist against her chest, half hoping she wasn’t really confessing this out loud and that it was only a dream.

  “Could be acid reflux. Have you tried some Tums?” Ellie tapped her fingers against the wheel, smirking. “Okay, forget about when you’re not with him. What about when you’re together?”

  The smile came out of nowhere, trailing long streams of warmth behind it that oozed through every pore in Jayne’s body. And with every passing second, it grew warmer, softer, until laughter bubbled out of her.

  “Oh, stop it,” Ellie gagged. “I’m sorry I asked.”

  Still, Jayne smiled. “I can’t help it.”

  “Ugh.” She shuddered. “Just shut up. I don’t suppose there’s any chance this is just a passing thing?”

  Jayne stared straight back at her.

  “Are you sure?” Ellie sighed. “From the sounds of it, you haven’t exactly been ‘out there’ since you left that other dumb ass, so maybe you just need a good romp.”

  Jayne let her head fall back against the headrest. “It’s not just a passing thing and I don’t want to go ‘romping’ with anyone else.”

  “You sure?” When Jayne didn’t answer, Ellie shrugged. “Okay, so how long have you been in love with Dumb Ass?”

  “Honestly?” Jayne chuckled. “Second week of kindergarten.”

  Ellie rolled her eyes dramatically. “One more answer like that and I promise you, I’ll puke in your car and leave it for you to clean up, so stop it.”

  Jayne laughed. As pathetic as she was, the relief she felt at getting this all out after so many years was overwhelming. And exhausting!

  “Of all the stupid things I’ve done,” she muttered. “This is probably the stupidest.”

  “It’s only stupid if you keep trying to deny it,” Ellie said. “Do you think he’s in love with you?”

  “No way.” The answer came as naturally as breathing, and as painfully as dying.

  “How can you be so sure?” Ellie cast her another quick glance. “He did try to kiss you.”

  “We don’t know that for sure, maybe I just imagined it. Besides, this is Nick.” Jayne laughed lightly, even though she didn’t think any of this was particularly funny. “If he was in love with me, he wouldn’t be with Lisa. I’m more like a responsibility to him because of our history.”

  The car filled with silence for a while. Jayne could feel Ellie’s exasperation building like steam in a kettle, but it still made her jump when Ellie finally exploded.

  “That is the biggest load of horse crap I’ve ever heard!” Her head swerved to look from the road to Jayne and back again. “No one does things like he does because they feel ‘responsible’ for you. I feel responsible for you, too, but you can bet your ass I’m not going to go making you dandelion necklaces or give you a key to my house ‘for anytime you want to come home again.’ ”

  She opened her mouth and jabbed her finger in, making gagging noises all the while.

  “Very funny,” Jayne said. “Take this next exit. If you knew Nick, you’d know this is what he’s always done. It doesn’t mean anything more than that.”

  The warmth Jayne felt just moments ago dissolved as Lisa’s words came rushing back to her. “You’re like a sister to him. If he felt anything else for you … anything more … he would have acted on it by now.”

  Ellie’s brow furrowed. “Which way?”

  “Left.”

  “Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move.”

  “Uh, no.” Jayne choked on a snort. “Nick doesn’t wait for anyone to do anything.”

  “Well, who knows?” Ellie shrugged. “Maybe you should give it a shot and see what happens.”

  “Are you out of your freakin’ mind?”

  “Why not?”

  “Have you not heard anything I’ve said?” Jayne cried. “He has a girlfriend! And even if he didn’t, he’s been my best friend for twenty-five years, Ellie. Twenty-five years! I can’t risk losing that; not now.”

  “You’ve wasted your whole life waiting for this guy, Jayne. What could you possibly have to lose?”

  “Everything.” An iron fist of panic tightened around Jayne’s heart. “He’s the closest thi
ng I have to family, Ellie. If I lose him, I’ve got nothing.”

  “So you’re going to sit back and watch him make gooey eyes at the party planner? What if he marries her, too? Then what are you going to do?”

  “Nothing. I watched him get married once before and it didn’t kill me.” Jayne swallowed hard. “I can do it again.”

  “Jayne.”

  “Forget it, Ellie,” she said, preventing Ellie from spilling whatever harsh comment she was about to spout. “All that matters is keeping Nick in my life, however I can get him, and if that means things stay the way they are, then that’s … that’s … fine. It’s the green house on the left.”

  “Seriously.” Ellie shook her head slowly and sighed. “You poor screwed-up little lunatic.”

  They spent a couple hours going through the seventy boxes of books the man had in his garage, and another few minutes talking price before loading Jayne’s car to capacity, setting a time for the next pickup, and heading back up the highway, with Jayne behind the wheel this time.

  Ellie eased her seat back as far as it would go, then kicked off her shoes and crossed her feet over the dashboard. “So you’re going to go out with Brett, then?”

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “Good. He’s not my type, but maybe he’ll help you see that Dumb Ass isn’t the be-all and end-all that you seem to think he is.”

  “Maybe.” Jayne sighed doubtfully. “It just seems weird going out with one of his friends.”

  “Why?” Ellie grunted. “From what I understand, the cop made Nick’s short list before he set you up with Martin, so I’m sure you’ll all have cozy double dates and everything’ll be just rainbows and unicorns.”

  She opened Jayne’s long-forgotten lunch bag and pulled out the sandwich. She handed half to Jayne, then took a bite out of her own half. “And I bet the party planner’ll be over the moon if you’d find yourself someone other than her boyfriend to hang out with.”

  Yup, there was no denying Lisa would be happy about that. As would Nick’s mom, and probably Nick himself.

  After dropping Ellie off, Jayne went straight to her place and unloaded the car again. The shelves still weren’t full, but the logo was in the front window and the credit card machine had been activated, so come hell or high water, Dandelion Books would open Saturday.

  Ignoring the stack of mail waiting for her, she stood at the front of the store looking at all the boxes and piles she’d collected, knowing full well she wasn’t going to get anywhere with them tonight. She needed to talk to Nick, just to let him know about Brett. It wasn’t that she owed him an explanation, but for some reason she thought she should be the one to give him the heads-up on it. Maybe she was making too much of everything. Why would he even care? After all, Ellie was right; Nick was the one who was so keen to set her up in the first place.

  She grabbed her phone and fired off a quick text.

  Okay if I come over? Need to talk.

  A few seconds later, his reply buzzed. Good. Ya. Meet me @ home in 5.

  After a quick change of clothes, she gathered her keys and a little courage, and pulled open the back door.

  “Maya!” The poor girl looked like hell. Her eyes, usually such a soft blue, were red-rimmed and swollen, splotchy patches covered both cheeks, and she was shaking from head to toe. “What’s wrong? Come in, come in.”

  Jayne ushered her upstairs and sat her on the sofa.

  “I’m sorry,” Maya sniffled. “But I saw your car, and I-I can’t go home.”

  “Hold on.” Jayne ran to the bathroom, grabbed the box of tissues, and ran back.

  “Thanks.” She pulled two or three out of the box and blew her nose long and hard. “I-I left him. I j-just couldn’t …”

  “Oh, Maya.” Jayne pulled her into a hug and let her sob. “I’m so sorry.”

  They stayed like that for a long time because Maya didn’t move and Jayne didn’t know what else to do. She’d never had friends like these ladies before and she’d certainly never been the one anyone came to for comfort. She rubbed Maya’s back and just let her cry, handing her clean tissues whenever one was needed.

  “I tried, Jayne,” Maya choked. “I really did.”

  “I know, sweetie.” Her phone buzzed in a text, no doubt from Nick, but she couldn’t very well answer it. “This isn’t your fault.”

  “Yes it is! Why else would my own husband do this to me?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “It was our anniversary on Sunday and he … he was … and her … God, it’s so humiliating!”

  “If anyone’s humiliated it should be the two of them! You did nothing wrong, Maya.”

  But Maya didn’t seem to be listening. She just buried her face in her hands and rocked back and forth for a long time.

  Nick’s ringtone blasted from Jayne’s phone, making her jump, but Maya kept on rocking, all the while moaning low in her throat. Jayne grabbed her phone, hit ignore, and went to the kitchen to make tea, cursing herself sideways for not stocking up on double-chocolate anything or Lay’s chips.

  She’d barely filled the kettle when her phone blasted again. Quick as lightening, she hit mute. Jeez, Nick, chill out. She flipped to the text screen and fired off the fastest message she could.

  Busy now. Talk later.

  When the tea was ready, she left her phone on the counter, poured Maya a big steaming mug with a little honey, and took it to the living room. At long last, Maya stopped rocking and let her head fall back on the sofa.

  “What am I going to do, Jayne? How am I going to live? Where am I going to live?”

  “Well, I’m sure—”

  The downstairs door burst open, making Jayne jump. Tea sloshed out of her cup, burning her wrist and dripping all over the couch cushion.

  “Jayne!”

  Good grief. Before she could set the cup down on the table, he was at the top of the stairs.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She hurried to the door to try and cut him off, but he was too fast.

  “Then why didn’t you answer your phone?” He clomped into the apartment, looking around wildly until he caught sight of the top of Maya’s head. “Oh, hey, Maya.”

  Jayne flattened her hands against his chest and shoved him back toward the door.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t do this right now. I need to stay with Maya, so we’ll have to talk later.”

  “But—”

  She grabbed his sleeve and dragged him down the stairs. “She needs me, Nick. She left Will.”

  “ ’Bout time.” His phone started ringing as he hit the bottom step. Before answering, he raised his brow at Jayne. “But we really need to talk, and I—”

  “I know. Later.”

  “So long as it’s tonight. I … hang on.” He shot her a wink as he pressed the phone to his ear. “Nick Scott. Hey Brett, what’s up?”

  Jayne’s stomach clenched, then plummeted, landing somewhere near her toes. Maybe this had nothing to do with her, maybe it was about something else.

  Right. And maybe Maya’s stupid-ass husband wasn’t a cheating pig.

  “Yeah,” Nick muttered, his eyes darkening as he stared back at her, not blinking. “Is that right? Huh. No, she didn’t mention it. No, that’s, uh, that’s good. Good for you.”

  “Nick.” Why was he looking at her like that?

  “Nope.” His knuckles whitened around his phone. “Hey man, it’s got nothin’ to do with me. Yeah. Okay. Later.”

  He ended the call but didn’t move, just stood staring down at his phone.

  “That’s what I was going to tell you,” she said, forcing a smile. “I’m meeting him for a drink tomorrow, and then, I don’t know, I guess we’ll see. He seems like a nice guy.”

  Nick’s whole body stayed ramrod straight except for his hand, which kept curling and uncurling around his phone. When he finally looked up, his icy glare pierced straight through her. His jaw twitched, then ground together so tight, Jayne feared it m
ight shatter. Without a word, he jerked the door open and stormed outside.

  “Nick, wait! What’s—”

  He didn’t even slow down, just climbed into his truck and sped off into the dusk, leaving Jayne gaping after him. She expected it to be weird, she expected it to be uncomfortable.

  She did not expect him to be furious.

  * * *

  “I’m sorry, Jayne. I didn’t mean to cause trouble here.” Maya paced near the door, her face still swollen, her arms still trembling.

  “You’re not,” Jayne said. “It’s fine.”

  “Maybe I should go.” She started for the stairs, but Jayne grabbed her by the sleeve and tugged her back.

  “You’re not going anywhere. You’ll stay here tonight and we’ll figure out what to do in the morning.”

  “But what about Nick?” she sniffed.

  That was a good question, but Jayne waved away Maya’s concern. “I’ll deal with that later. Right now, you need some rest.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, of course.” Jayne bobbed her head toward her bedroom. “Take my room. I’ve got lots of work to do downstairs.”

  Maya’s expression went from sad and distraught to apologetic. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Shush, it’s not your fault.” She tried to smile but it was far too much effort. “Do you want something to eat? I could make you a sandwich.”

  “No thanks. I think I’ll just go lie down.”

  “Sure. If you want something later, just let me know. Or help yourself.” She gave Maya another hug. “There’s a clean nightgown in the bottom drawer if you want.”

  Maya’s blond curls bobbed in response, then she disappeared into the bedroom and closed the door.

  Of all the times to be out of Ben & Jerry’s.

  Jayne made another cup of tea and took it downstairs. Lights on, music down low so she wouldn’t disturb Maya, she began pulling books out of the first box and stacking them, spine out, on the shelf nearest the counter.

  She sorted and dusted piles of mysteries, fantasy, romance, and westerns, then alphabetized them all among the books already set out.

  Why the hell did everything have to be so damned confusing? Knowing Nick was mad at her about this left Jayne feeling shaky inside, overwhelmed, almost desperate, but the more books she sorted, the more that anxiety turned to something else, something she hadn’t often let herself feel in the past.