Broken Road

by Mari Beck

“Stay in the Husky’s tracks.” Ricky instructed. Riley drove as carefully as he could while staying in the tracks and finally made it up to where the suspected detonation device had been scanned. Once there the excruciating process of digging up the IED began.

  They hit a pot hole and Riley tightened his grip on the truck’s steering wheel. As he drove the short distance into town the small storefronts and places that had defined his childhood were starting to overlap with his memories of the buildings in the village. The snipers could be anywhere: the tiny post office, the grocery store, the hair salon, the bank and even the hardware store. He was having a hard time focusing. Everything was coming and going between the village and town in his mind. Riley’s hands were starting to shake. He wanted to say something to his grandfather but it was Ricky sitting next to him in the Buffalo now. He was back on the road outside of Baghdad whether he wanted it or not.

  “Now what?” he asked Ricky.

  “Now we get out of the way and let the EOD bomb guys send their robot in with a charge to set off the IED.”

  “How long will that take?”

  “Usually a five minute charge for something this size, I imagine. They’ll let us know.”

  “I see it. There it goes.” Riley could just make out the tiny metal robot carrying the charge toward the place he’d dug up with the Buffalo. Ricky was checking his watch. The convoy had backed up to a safe distance, but the Husky and the Buffalo being the largest of the vehicles remained closer than the others. Riley tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and he imagined that everyone was just waiting and watching. Then he spotted something at the three minute mark. It was one of the children he had seen playing earlier on the far side of the street. Why wasn’t he with the others?

  “Ricky, look!”

  “Shit!” Ricky pressed the call button on his headset. “Be advised that there’s an LN near the detonation site. Repeat, there’s an LN near the detonation site.”

  “Not enough time, Commander.” The EOD squad leader’s voice came through.

  “We’re just gonna let the kid get blown up?” Riley couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The boy couldn’t have been more than 4 or 5 years old.

  “Just stay calm.” Ricky said removing his seat belt and headset he opened his door and stepped onto the Buffalo’s sideboard. He started to wave his arms and yell. “Hey! Hey! Get away from there!” But the child continued to walk toward the detonation site.

  “Get back in the Buff, Commander. You’re going to get yourself killed.” The route commander ordered.

  “Can’t the kid see there’s a bomb over there?”

  “From where he’s at it probably just looks like a big hole.” Ricky explained. “Hey, Hey! Get away from there!

  “He’s going to get killed.”

  “We’ve got time and we’re the closest.” Ricky opened the door again.

  “Wait a minute.” Riley grabbed him. “Just have the bomb guys stop the detonation.”

  “They can’t. I have to go get him.”

  “There’s no way you’ll get to him before the charge goes off, Ricky.”

  “Not if we sit here yapping.” He said and Riley let go of him. Ricky slowly stepped out of the Buffalo and placed his feet firmly on the ground. He made his way to the front of the Buffalo and then began to walk quickly in the vehicle tracks toward the little boy. Riley held his breath. A sniper could take Ricky out at any moment and he would never see it coming. It could all get very ugly very quick.

  “What the hell does Marcelino think he’s doing, Favreau?” The route commander’s voice demanded.

  “He thinks he can get to the little boy.”

  “Shit.”

  “2 minutes to detonation.” The EOD squad leader’s voice confirmed.

  “All vehicles be on the lookout. Dismounts get ready in case we come under fire.”

  “Oh God.” Riley looked at his watch. The time was ticking away as Ricky made a b-line for the child. Riley was scarcely breathing. Ricky was inching his way across. It seemed incredible but before they knew it he had the child securely in his arms and he was making his way back toward the Buffalo with a minute to spare. Riley clapped his hands together.

  “You did it, you sonofabitch, now get in here!” He was yelling from inside the Buff. He couldn’t believe Ricky had pulled it off. The guy had balls. It was going to make for a great story when they got back to camp. Ricky was smiling. He managed to give him a small thumbs up. That’s when it happened. Ricky was only a few feet away from the truck when he took his very next step. He looked up at Riley. Their eyes met. Ricky must have known what was coming. There was an explosion followed by a second detonation. Ricky and the little boy were gone.

  Somewhere in front or behind him an engine backfired. Riley could see that the café was only a couple blocks away. They were just a few feet from the only stop light in town. His vision was blurry but he could just make out the shape of something lying in the middle of the road. Ricky’s voice called out one last time.

  “Remember just because it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck or walks like a duck doesn’t mean it’s a duck. It’s probably a damn bomb.”

  Riley turned the wheel of truck with all his might to avoid hitting the object, but the old ’76 Chevy wasn’t a Buffalo, it wasn’t virtually indestructible.

  “Watch out, Riley!” He heard his grandfather yelled. But it was too late. The truck crashed straight into a nearby lampost and everything went black.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Betrayed

  They released him from the hospital a few days later. Aside from a few bruises he hardly had a scratch on him. But his grandfather remained in critical condition and the doctors had no idea whether he would live or die. Pastor Langston had gotten permission for Riley to see his grandfather before being discharged and accompanied him to the room. EJ Favreau lay in one of the rooms located in the farthest corner of the ICU. When Riley entered he was immediately bombarded with the sounds of the machines keeping his grandfather alive. He could barely stand to look at the fragile figure attached to the wires and tubing. He was responsible. Bad luck seemed to follow him wherever he went now. First it was Ricky, then Captain Jenner, and now his grandfather. Riley stayed just a few minutes before asking Pastor Langston for a ride back to the house. The totaled ’76 Chevy sat in the junkyard somewhere not worth saving but for scraps and although the Pastor was worried about Riley not having a means of transportation, Riley was relieved. He never meant to sit behind the wheel of any vehicle ever again if he could help it. He knew it was an unreasonable thought, to be sure, so many miles from town and far from any neighbors. But he also knew that he could count on the Pastor or even his best friend Brandon Cole to come out and take him in to see his grandfather. Right now, though, he wasn’t sure he could take seeing his grandfather lying in that hospital bed again. All he wanted was to be alone. But he knew better than to expect sleep would come without a price or without the nightmares. So tonight he did what he used to do when he couldn’t sleep he walked. He would go out the front door and head out east down Main Street. He would walk past the small filling station on the corner, the barbershop, the Main Street Café, Alverman’s Hardware and adjoining lumberyard, all the way to the railroad tracks that cut just at the edge of the small downtown cluster of shops and kept on going. He would walk past the Johnson place, the auto repair shop and down the highway until he saw the park. It lay off of the highway about a quarter of mile down from the center of town. It hadn’t changed much in the last 15 or 20 years, it seemed exactly as he remembered it growing up in Bess. There was a small paved road cutting through the approximately two city blocks the park occupied with a baseball diamond on one side and a small pond curving along to the other end. A grouping of old trees lined the pond. There was an old tire swing hanging from one of the large branches. He had good memories of the park growing up. As he crossed the road to reach it he could still remember the happiest times he had there playing ball, having
picnics, playing on the old playground with its small swing set and rusty merry-go-round. He could hear the voices of friends and his grandparents yelling and laughing. He closed his eyes for a moment and listened. He opened his eyes and saw that the full moon lit up the park so brightly that his eyes didn’t need to adjust much. He could make out almost everything. Riley followed the paved road through the middle of the park and set his sights on reaching the other end where there was a small clearing many of the kids in town used to practice pitching and hitting when the diamond was being used or for loitering after dark when there was nothing else to do but mess around. He wondered if he would find anyone there this late. It was almost 3:30 in the morning. Maybe the last of the party-goers had finally gone home to sleep off the festivities. He hoped so. He liked the idea of having it all to himself. There was a big oak just on the edge of the clearing that made a good place to sit and think or just look out at the pond or at the sky. He looked forward to it. As he got nearer to the clearing, he could see that there was a truck parked on the paved road near the old oak. He sighed. Maybe the party was still going, he thought. Either way he was pretty sure he could wait them out. He walked a little slower but stopped when he heard voices. Apparently, the party was going inside the truck cab. That was good, he thought. They might be too busy to notice him and he could still go around them and get to the clearing. They might even be getting ready to take off.

  “The timing is shitty, I know.” Someone was saying. He knew the voice; it was Brandon Cole, his best friend. He was surprised to see Brandon out this late, especially knowing how early Jack Cole had his son out working in the fields or on the machinery.

  “Bad things have happened and we’ve got to deal with whatever is coming, especially with what’s happened to Riley.” Riley stopped in his tracks. Brandon was talking about him to somebody.

  “We’ve got to be there for him, of course we do. I wish none of this had happened the way it did, but don’t think for one second, that I wish what happened between us hadn’t. I won’t say that. I know how it sounds. I know what it makes me. I know what you think it makes you, but it’s not true.” Brandon said and Riley was confused. He couldn’t get a good look inside the cab even with the bright light of the moon. Who the hell was he talking to?

  “It’s not anyone’s fault. There are other things to think about and sometime soon we’ll have to figure this all out between us. I know you think that time isn’t now. I’m not so much of an asshole that I don’t know that. Riley’s my best friend and I know he has problems. But we can’t keep adding to his problems by lying to him. I know you’re afraid of what will happen if you tell him. You don’t have to worry about that. I wouldn’t let you do that alone. It’s going to be okay.” Riley heard Brandon say and then he heard a sob. Someone was crying.

  “I don’t want to hurt him like this.” Riley froze and his heart constricted. He knew that voice too.

  “I know, Misty, I know.” Brandon said and Riley wasn’t sure he was going to be able to breathe again. He realized suddenly that he had overheard a private conversation he was never meant to have heard.

  “He doesn’t deserve this, Brandon.” Misty was saying and Riley’s whole world began to fall apart.

  “I know. I’m sorry too. But what can we do?”

  “I don’t know.” She cried.

  “Do you want to walk away from this?”

  “I can’t think straight right now.”

  “I don’t, Misty. I know what I want.” Brandon said and Misty started to cry again. Riley didn’t know what to do. He had no control over his arms or his legs. His brain was overcome with a blinding pain and for a moment he thought he might be caught by one of the episodes he had come here to escape.

  “This is going to kill him.” Misty cried.

  “We have a choice to make. Either way, I’ll stand by what you want to do. You know how I feel about it. But I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

  “He’s so sick, Brandon. He’s struggling so hard. I can’t just leave him and run away with you.”

  “I’m not running. I never said anything about running. If we make the decision to be together, Misty, it has to be an honest one. I plan on staying here, living here, raising my family here. I don’t want anything else, I don’t want to go anywhere else. Besides, my dad’s counting on me to help run the farm.”

  “He’ll hate us, Brandon. Everyone will for doing this to him. We won’t be able to stay here in Bess.”

  “Dad’s place is half way between Bess and Broken Bow. If you think it would be easier we’ll live in Broken Bow instead.” Brandon said quietly. Riley felt waves of nausea hit him with every passing moment. He reached out a hand to steady himself and found he was close to one of the trees. He leaned heavily against the trunk.

  “I don’t know, Brandon. I need some time to think, okay?” Misty pleaded and Brandon was quiet for a moment. Then Riley saw him lean over toward Misty. Was he. . .was he kissing her? Riley could hardly stand it any longer. Anger was beginning to replace the despair that had first overwhelmed him. His fists were balled up and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

  “You know how I feel, Misty. We’ll get through it together and we’ll do right by Riley. He deserves the truth you’re right. I think it should be sooner than later. Before it’s too late to do anything about it.”

  “I know you’re right.” Misty said and Riley felt like he was about to explode. He wanted to go over to the cab, yank open the door, drag Brandon’s sorry ass out and kick the shit out of him. It was his fault, he was sure of it. Misty loved Riley, had always loved him. Since they were children he had known that someday he and Misty would end up together. It was a natural consequence of their relationship. They fit together perfectly. She loved him and he loved her. He had made her a promise and sealed it with a ring days before he deployed. Brandon knew that. He had seen the ring. How could this have happened? When did it happen? How could he have been so blind not to notice? Notice what, he thought? He hadn’t been looking for something to notice. Hadn’t expected it. He had never imagined that the two people he loved the most in the world, trusted the most, after his grandfather could have done this. It was worse than anything that had happened to him. Worse than the war even. The war had taken his mind. But Brandon and Misty had taken his heart and killed any hope he had that life could ever be the same again. Now, no matter what happened, he was certain it could never be the same again. Never. He closed his eyes, willing the tears that lay ready to spill over back from where they came. When he opened them, Brandon had turned on the ignition and was starting to pull away. They had no idea he was there. For a moment Riley was determined to run over to them and make good on the visions he saw in his own mind, fulfilling his rage, making Brandon hurt as much as he was hurting right at that moment. Instead, as he watched them drive away, Riley let himself slide down to the ground. He closed his eyes. It had been almost six weeks since he stepped off the plane to a hero’s welcome, months since he found himself face to face with the photojournalist on the road to hell in Iraq and over a year since he had placed a promise ring on the finger of the girl he thought he would love forever before deploying to the Middle East. It seemed like two lifetimes ago. And yet a thousand lifetimes wouldn’t be enough to make the pain any less, the betrayal any worse or the truth anymore real. He shivered. The wind had suddenly turned cold. It began whipping against the thin cotton fabric of his sweatshirt so he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to keep the chill out. He rubbed his hands over his arms to keep warm, but there didn’t seem to be a way to keep from feeling the icy panic that was starting to permeate his whole body. It meant that the nightmare wasn’t far behind. The darkness was coming and for once he wouldn’t fight it. Let it come. Let it take him. It didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t matter anymore. He pounded his fists into the ground and let out a scream. Then, Riley Favreau covered his face and cried.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Th
e Fight

  He woke up in the park, slumped against the tree where he’d fallen down. It was dark and the stars were still out. He was sure some time had passed but didn’t know exactly how much. He heaved himself up and though he was unsteady on his feet, he managed to stumble his way back through town and down the road back to the farmhouse. He never went to sleep that night. Instead, he went out to the barn, climbed up the old ladder to the little hayloft that used to be his playhouse as a child and lay on the wooden boards covered with straw and dirt. His head was pounding and he couldn’t get his mind to calm down, so he decided to put himself to work. But what he had seen and heard the night before occupied every inch of his mind. He wanted to go over to the Cole place and drag Brandon out of his bed, take his old hunting rifle, stick it in his mouth and pull the trigger. He had to stop himself from thinking that way, he thought. But all he felt was the anger, the rage and the despair. He was almost done with the morning chores when Old Jimmy Charles, an older man and family friend who worked for his grandfather taking care of the farm, came out of the house carrying his thermos of coffee. Old Jimmy seemed surprised to see him.

  "You're up early today. Are you sure you shouldn’t be resting like the doctor said?”

  "Had things to do."

  "I'm glad for the help.”

  "I promise I'll be more help around here from now on."

  "You're help enough." Old Jimmy said sternly.

  "I was thinking about feeding the cows next."

  "Let me get the keys and I'll drive you out to the ridge."

  "Ok."

  “Riley, is there something wrong?"

  "No."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yes."

  "You look like you didn't go to sleep.”

  “I slept.”

  "I was up about 2 this morning. You know those new pills the doc gave me have me going all night. I didn't hear you. You weren’t out walking around town again were you?”