by Mari Beck
“I want Daddy!”
She picked him up and was holding him tight. Riley felt awful. He stood there watching the three of them and knowing that they were in pain. He hated that he was the cause of it.
“I’m sorry. I should go.” He said and started to walk down the drive.
“Wait, Riley. Don’t go.” Brenda called after him. “Please. Don’t go.”
“Brenda, I’m only hurting them by being here.”
“It’ll hurt whether you’re here or not.” She said and Riley stopped. He looked at her and the little boy she was holding and then at the older boy, who was still staring at him.
“I think it would be best if we did this some other time.” He said and started walking again.
“Wait.” It was the older boy this time. Riley stopped only a few feet away from him. The boy step forward and held out his hand.
“I’m Callan.”
“Riley.”
“I know.” The boy answered as they shook hands. “You’re the soldier that tried to save my dad.” Riley swallowed hard as he nodded.
“Are you here to see my mom?” Callan asked and Riley looked over at Brenda.
“Actually, I came to see all of you.” He said and Brenda looked relieved.
“Cal, why don’t we all go inside. It’s cold out. I have some chili on the stove and some cinnamon rolls in the oven.”
“Ok.” Callan answered and made his way up the drive to the front door. Brenda went next carrying her little boy and Riley followed. As the door closed behind them and he stepped inside he was immediately hit by the smell of food cooking and a barrage of pictures of Captain Jenner, Brenda and the boys hanging on almost every wall. His throat tightened as he took his coat off and he took in the images of the family on vacation, at Christmas, birthdays and especially the pictures that focused on Brenda and her husband. He didn’t know if it was jealousy or guilt he felt as he stood there looking at the images. Maybe a bit of both. As he turned to step down into the family room he noticed a picture of Captain Jenner in uniform next to an American flag encased in glass and polished wood. He had to look away.
Brenda had disappeared with Taylor up the stairs and Callan had gone into the kitchen. Riley stood in the middle of the family room waiting for someone to return. Callan came back first. The boy was almost as tall as his father had been, had his father’s build, hair and mannerisms but it was his mother’s eyes that looked back at Riley as he came into the room.
“You can sit down if you want.” Callan motioned to the couch behind Riley.
“Thanks.” Riley sat down placing his coat in his lap.
“I can take that for you.” Callan offered and Riley gave him the coat. After placing Riley’s coat in a closet right next to the front door he came back and perched himself on the arm of the love seat opposite the couch Riley was sitting on. The boy stared at him for another minute or so before asking another question.
“You knew my dad?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“He was the route commander for the team I was on.”
“What does that mean?”
“He was the guy that called the shots on road we had to clear.”
“From bombs?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that what killed him?” Callan asked matter-of-factly and Riley was stunned for a moment. The boy was direct just like his father had been.
“I’m not sure if that’s something your mom wants me to talk about with you.”
“CNN said that’s what killed him.”
“Callan. . .”
“I just want to know if that’s what killed him. Sometimes they lie for ratings.”
“Maybe we should wait for your mom to get back. . .”
“Taylor’s having a meltdown. It’ll probably take a while to calm him down. He thought you were my dad.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“I did too.”
“God, I’m so sorry, Callan. I never meant to upset you or your brother.”
“You were hugging my mom. That’s why.”
“Oh.” Riley began to panic. Where was Brenda?
“You weren’t at the funeral.”
“The funeral?”
“My dad’s funeral. They said you were recovering in some hospital.”
“Yeah. I was.”
“Did you get hurt bad?”
“Bad enough.” Riley answered.
“How bad?”
“I don’t really like to talk about it.”
“They wouldn’t let us see him. My dad. The casket was closed.” Callan hung his head. Riley could tell the boy was getting emotional.
“I’m sorry.” And he was so very, very sorry.
“So, it had to be a bomb, right? That’s why we couldn’t see him?”
“ I don’t know. Maybe.”
“But you were there.”
“I. . .I don’t remember. I’m sorry.”
“Did you get hit by something too?” Callan was staring intently into his eyes and Riley couldn’t take it. “Was it an IED? That’s what they told us.”
“I don’t remember. Really, I don’t.” Riley felt the frustration starting to grow inside him.
“I just want to know what happened to him.”
“I know you do, but I can’t tell you. I don’t remember.”
“They said you pulled him away from an explosion. You were carrying a little girl too. Remember? Here wait. . .” Callan took out his cellphone and started to hit buttons. A few seconds later he had an image pulled up and he was showing it to Riley. It was the picture. Riley froze as he saw his face covered in dirt and blood contorted into a scream. He squeezed his eyes shut. The darkness was starting to creep in again. He had to fight it he had to.
“Just tell me what really happened to my dad!” Callan was begging. Riley stood up.
“I can’t do this. It was mistake.” He made his way to the door.
“Wait! Don’t leave! My mom’s going to be right back.” The boy was right on his heels. Riley grabbed the door handle and pulled. He didn’t even bother to grab his coat. He stepped out into the cold night and felt nothing but the heat from the smoke and debris that surrounded him on the road to hell all those months ago. It didn’t seem to matter where he went or what he did. He’d always be stuck on that road. Always.
Callan was running after him but Riley didn’t care. He couldn’t do it. He thought he could come to Brenda and make things right, start over and maybe have the chance to leave the nightmare behind. But it wasn’t just about him or Brenda or what they felt for each other, there were others involved too. They were kids and that mattered to him. He couldn’t hurt them like he’d hurt everyone else. The lies had to stop that was the only way he-any of them would find peace. He had to tell the truth even if it meant losing everything again. Even if it meant losing Brenda. It was time to face the consequences of what he’d done on that road.
When he finally got back to the motel he took a moment to think about what he had to do and he didn’t hesitate. He took a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and laid it out next to the telephone. He smoothed out the scrap of paper with his hands so he could clearly see the name and number printed on it. Then, he slowly dialed the number and waited for an answer.
“Hello?”
“Is this Meagan McGuinnis?”
“Who is this?”
“It’s Riley Favreau. I’m ready to talk.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
A Father's Son
When Brenda returned with Taylor she found no one in the family room or the kitchen or anywhere else in the house. Riley was gone and so was Callan. She ran outside with Taylor following closely behind and found Callan standing in the middle of the driveway staring down the street.
“Cal, what happened? Where’s Riley?”
“He’s gone.”
“Gone? Why? What did he say?”
“It was my fault.” Callan was crying.
“What do you mean?” She put her arms around her eldest son. “Callan, what do you mean?”
“I just wanted to know, Mom.”
“Know what, honey?”
“What really happened to Dad.”
“Oh, Cal.”
“I wanted to know so bad and then the guy who was there shows up?”
“So you asked him?”
“Yeah, but he got all weird about it. He wouldn’t talk about it.”
“Sometimes people can’t.”
“But he was there!” Callan yelled angrily. “He was the one who tried to save Dad. Why won’t he talk about it?”
“He got hurt, Cal.”
“He wouldn’t tell me how he got hurt. He said he didn’t remember anything. I don’t get it.” He cried.
“Is that when he left?” Brenda asked pushing a lock of hair out of his face.
“No, he left after I showed him the picture.”
“What picture, honey?” she asked and he held up his phone. Brenda felt the sadness and helplessness of it sweep over her again. “Sweetheart, why do have this on your phone?”
“It’s the last picture of Dad.” He sobbed and Brenda was crying too.
“But it’s not the way you want to remember him, Cal. That’s not what your Dad would want.” She said pulling him closer. Callan let himself be held and comforted. Taylor stood next to them quietly.
“Did Riley say where he was going?”
“No.”
“Ok, Cal. It’s going to be okay. Why don’t we all go in and eat something.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Well, at least let’s go in. Taylor doesn’t have his coat on.” She said and Callan seemed to notice his little brother for the first time since they came back outside.
“Ok.” He agreed and the three of them walked back inside.
Once she had them both convinced that they had to eat something she went about getting them settled in for the night. Callan didn’t go to sleep but put on his headphones and laid in bed staring at the ceiling. She was willing to let it go and make sure that Taylor was ready for bed. As she tucked him in he yawned. She stroked his head and placed a little stuffed dog next to him on the pillow. He reached up and grabbed it pulling it under the covers with him.
“Mommy.” He whispered.
“Yes?”
“When’s Daddy coming back?” His eyes were heavy with sleep and Brenda tried to keep the tears from coming. It had been a while since he had asked the question but seeing Riley and mistaking him for Shane must have given him hope that his daddy would come home after all.
“We won’t see him for a while, baby. He’s in heaven, remember?”
“Up with the angels?”
“Yes.”
“And the stars?”
“Sure.”
“Who was the man?”
“The man here today?”
“He wasn’t Daddy.”
“No. He was Daddy’s friend.”
“You hugged him.” Brenda bit her lip. How much had her children seen of what had happened between her and Riley tonight?
“Sometimes you hug your friends.”
“He was your friend?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” Taylor murmured as he fell asleep. Brenda stroked his hair again and sighed. It had been a long evening. She needed to think. She wished she had asked Riley what motel he was staying at. He’d left without his coat. Without saying goodbye. She stood up turned off the lamp next to Taylor’s bed and turned on the nightlight. Walking out of his room to her own she felt the weight of the past few months pile on top of her again. Brenda had promised herself after being away from the boys that she would do her best not to disrupt their lives again. But here they were in the middle of a major disruption. How long could she let it go on before she brought an end to it? She hated what it was doing to them and she hated what it was doing to Riley. There had been too many secrets, too many lies. Maybe it was time to come clean, not just with herself but with everyone. She sat down on the bed. Brenda was tired but she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep so she went downstairs to the kitchen to make herself some tea. She was boiling the water in the kettle when she heard a knock at the door. Could it be Riley? She went to door and opened it wide but instead of Riley she found Jon Procter standing on her porch.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
Another Interview
Riley paid for the taxi and stood in front of the TV station wondering whether to go in or not. It was not the first place he’d gone after leaving Brenda’s house. Almost two hours had passed since he called Meagan McGuinnis and told her that he was ready to give her the interview she wanted. In the meantime, he’d taken the time to make another stop after asking the taxi driver a few pointed questions. The man hesitantly told him he what he wanted to know and then drove him to a 24-hour pawn shop located in a seedier part of town. Making his purchase he got back in the taxi and directed the driver to take him to the tv station. He was nervous. So much was riding on this and he wasn’t even sure that he was ready to do what needed to be done. But every time he thought about Shane Jenner’s boys standing in that driveway, the little one with his arms wrapped around Riley calling him Daddy and the oldest one asking him for the truth about how his father died, something inside him snapped. He had to make things right at least for those two boys.
He pulled on the door to the building and stepped inside. There was a woman at the front desk. She looked up expectantly when he came in.
“I’m here to see Meagan McGuinnis.”
“Sign in.” She said pointing to a clipboard and pen. “I’ll let her know that you’re here. His hands were shaking as he struggled to sign his name in the designated box. After he was done the woman behind the desk motioned for him to sit down on one of the couches in the small dimly lit lobby.
“She’ll be up in a moment.” The woman said and she returned to whatever she’d been doing prior to him walking in. There was a tv on the wall behind the front desk and one sitting on a stand near the couches. The station’s programming was playing on both as he sat down. He fidgeted nervously as he waited what seemed like an eternity for the reporter to come out to the lobby.
“Specialist Favreau.” The attractive blonde said as she held out a hand to him. He took it reluctantly and shook hands with her.
“It’s so nice to have you here.” She smiled motioning for him to follow her down a narrow hallway toward a group of offices.
“I wish I could say the same about being here.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Well, you’re the one who called me, remember?”
“Yeah. I know.” He admitted somewhat ashamed of himself. “I just want to get it over with.”
“Then we should probably get started. Let’s go into my office and do some preliminaries.”
“Preliminaries?”
“Some prep questions before we do the real thing.”
“I thought we were doing the interview.”
“We are but first we need to prep. You want to do this right don’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Then let me do my job.”
“Okay. What do you need from me?”he asked as they went into a small office. She sat behind the desk and opened a small pink laptop.
“First, close that door behind you. I’d hate for anyone to interrupt us.” She smiled and he closed the door. She began typing away for a few minutes and he sat there unsure as to what would happen next. She kept typing.
“So, what questions do you have?” he asked impatiently.
“No. No questions. I prefer to do some preliminary discussion.”
“Discussion?”
“Mostly it’s where you talk and I listen.”
“Talk about what?”
“You came to me. There must be something on your mind. So, you tell me what that is and then I formulate the right questions around it.”
“I don’t understand. How is that an intervie
w?”
“It isn’t. . .yet.” She began typing again. Riley was confused he was beginning to think he’d made a big mistake. The reporter looked up as if sensing his discomfort and indecision.
“Don’t worry. I just believe that a good journalist should never ask a question she doesn’t already know the answer to.”
“I thought that only applied to lawyers.” He said and she chuckled.
“Look, this is only going to work out well for the both of us if there aren’t any surprises. I don’t want to ambush you anymore than you want to be ambushed.”
“I don’t get it.”
“You will once it’s over.”
“I thought. . .”
“That I was out to get you? To ruin your life?”
“That makes for a headline not a career. I want the career.”
“But you went after Brenda. . .” He said through his teeth, it still made his blood boil. She looked surprised.
“So you know who she really is. And you’re not upset?” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m impressed that she told you the truth.”
“She didn’t. I found out on my own.” He winced at the memory. It still hurt.
“Good. This makes it easier for all of us. As for your question, I did go after her -of course I did. I’m not sure how much she’s told you but there were rumors and it was my job to verify what was fact and what was fiction. I’ll assume that you already know what the rumors were”
“I do. There’s no need to include any of that now that I’m talking to you, right?”
“No,I guess not. There was a story, there still is- but I admit trying to get that story after all this time has made me think that I went about it the wrong way.”
“I’ll say you did. You threatened her family.”
“Okay. Not my finest moment but compared to what Sandra Simmons was planning to do to her, I did her a favor.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“You have a right to your opinion. But, we’re not here to talk about Brenda Jenner are we? We’re here to talk about her husband, Captain Shane Jenner, and what happened to him that day on a road outside of Baghdad.” She was good. Nice way to transition and get him back to why he’d hauled himself there.