Artemis Fowl. The Opal Deception af-4

by Eoin Colfer

  ‘Let me help you to sort things out,’ said Koboi mockingly, her childlike features ugly with malice. ‘Your LEP comrades are currently trying to laser their way in here, but of course they will never make it in time. And you can bet that my old school chum, Foaly, is glued to his video screen. So what does he see? He sees his good friend Holly Short apparently holding a gun on her commander. Now why would she want to do that?’

  ‘Foaly will figure it out,’ said Root. ‘He beat you before.’

  Opal tightened the octo-bonds remotely, forcing the commander to his knees.

  ‘Maybe he would figure it out, at that. If he had time. But unfortunately for you, time is almost up.’

  On Root’s chest, a digital readout flickered into life. There were two numbers on the readout. A six and a zero. Sixty seconds.

  ‘One minute to live, Commander. How does that feel?’

  The numbers began ticking down.

  The ticking and the beeping and Opal’s snide sniggers drilled into Holly’s brain.

  ‘Shut it down, Koboi. Shut it down, or I swear I’ll…’

  Opal’s laughter was unrestrained. It echoed through the access tunnel like the attack screech of a harpie.

  ‘You will what? Exactly? Die beside your commander?’

  More cracks. More ribs broken. The blue sparks of magic circled Root’s torso like stars caught in a whirlwind.

  ‘Go now,’ he grunted. ‘Holly, I am ordering you to leave.’

  ‘With respect, Commander. No. This isn’t over yet.’

  ‘Forty-eight,’ said Opal, in a happy, sing-song voice. ‘Forty-seven.’

  ‘Holly! Go!’

  ‘I’d listen if I were you,’ said Koboi. ‘There are other lives at stake. Root is already dead — why not save someone who can be saved?’

  Holly moaned. Another element in an already overloaded equation.

  ‘Who can I save? Who’s in danger?’

  ‘Oh, no one important. Just a couple of Mud Men.’

  Of course, thought Holly, Artemis and Butler. Two others who had put a stop to Koboi’s plan.

  ‘What have you done, Opal?’ said Holly, shouting above the proximity trigger and core wind.

  Koboi’s lip drooped, mimicking a guilty child.

  ‘I’m afraid I may have put your human friends in danger. At this very moment they are stealing a package from the International Bank in Munich. A little package I prepared for them. If Master Fowl is as clever as he is supposed to be, he won’t open the package until he reaches the Kronski Hotel and can check for booby traps. Then a bio-bomb will be activated, and “Bye bye, obnoxious humans”. You can stay here and explain all this. I’m sure it won’t take more than a few hours to sort it out with Internal

  Affairs. Or you can try to rescue your friends.’

  Holly’s head reeled. The commander, Artemis, Butler. All about to die. How could she save them all? There was no way to win.

  ‘I will hunt you down, Koboi. For you, there won’t be a safe inch on the planet.’

  ‘Such venom. What if I gave you a way out? One chance to win.’

  Root was on his knees now, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth. The blue sparks were gone, he was out of magic.

  ‘It’s a trap,’ he gasped, every syllable making him wince. ‘Don’t be fooled again.’

  ‘Thirty,’ said Koboi. ‘Twenty-nine.’

  Holly felt her forehead throb against the helmet pads. ‘OK. OK, Koboi. Tell me quickly. How do I save the commander?’

  Opal took a deep, theatrical breath. ‘On the device. There’s a sweet spot. Two-centimetre diameter. The red dot below the screen. If you hit that spot from outside the trigger area, then you overload the circuit. If you miss, even by a hair, you set off the explosive gel. It’s a sporting chance — more than you gave me, Holly Short.’

  Holly gritted her teeth. ‘You’re lying. Why would you give me a chance?’

  ‘Don’t take the shot,’ said Root, strangely calm. ‘Just get out of range. Go and save Artemis. That’s the last order I’ll ever give you, Captain. Don’t you dare ignore it.

  Holly felt as though her senses were being filtered through a metre of water.

  Everything was blurred and slowed down.

  ‘I don’t have any choice, Julius.’

  Root frowned. ‘Don’t call me Julius! You always do that just before you disobey me. Save Artemis, Holly. Save him.’

  Holly closed one eye, aiming her pistol. The laser sights were no good for this kind of accuracy. She would have to do it manually.

  ‘I’ll save Artemis next,’ she said.

  She took a deep breath, held it, and squeezed the trigger.

  Holly hit the red spot. She was certain of it. The charge sank into the device, spreading across the metal face like a tiny bush fire.

  ‘I hit it,’ she shouted at Opal’s image. ‘I hit the spot.’

  Koboi shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I thought you were a fraction low. Hard luck. I mean that sincerely.’

  ‘No!’ screamed Holly.

  The countdown on Root’s chest ticked faster than before, flickering through the numbers. There were only moments left now.

  The commander struggled to his feet, raising the visor on his helmet. His eyes were steady and fearless. He smiled gently at Holly. A smile that laid no blame. For once there wasn’t even a touch of feverish temper in his cheeks.

  ‘Be well,’ he said, and then an orange flame blossomed in the centre of his chest.

  The explosion sucked the air from the tunnel, feeding on the oxygen.

  Multicoloured flames roiled like the plumage of battling birds. Holly was shunted backwards by a wall of shock waves, the force impacting on every surface inch facing the commander. Microfilaments blew in her suit as they were overloaded with heat and force. The camera cylinder on her helmet popped right out of its groove, spinning into E37.

  Holly herself was borne bodily into the chute, spinning like a twig in a cyclone.

  Sonix sponges in her earpieces sealed automatically as the sound of the explosion caught up with the blast. The commander had disappeared inside a ball of flame. He was gone, there was no doubt about it. Even magic could not help him now. Some things are beyond fixing.

  The contents of the access tunnel, including Root and Scalene, disintegrated into a cloud of shrapnel and dust, particles ricocheting off the tunnel walls. The cloud surged down the path of least resistance, which was, of course, directly after Holly. She barely had time to activate her wings and climb a few metres before flying shrapnel drilled a hole in the chute wall below her.

  Holly hovered in the vast tunnel, the sound of her own breathing filling her helmet. The commander was dead. It was unbelievable. Just like that, at the whim of a vengeful pixie. Had there been a sweet spot on the device? Or had she actually missed the target? She would probably never know. But to the LEP observers it would seem as though she had shot her own commander.

  Holly glanced downwards. Below her, fragments from the explosion were spiralling towards the Earth’s core. As they neared the revolving magma sphere, the heat ignited each one, utterly cremating all that was left of Julius Root. For the briefest moment the particles twinkled, gold and bronze, like a million stars falling to earth.

  Holly hung there for several minutes, trying to absorb what had happened. She couldn’t. It was too awful. Instead, she froze the pain and guilt, preserving it for later.

  Right now she had an order to follow. And she would follow it, even if it were the last thing she ever did, because it had been the last order Julius Root would ever give.

  Holly increased the power to her wings, rising through the massive charred chute. There were Mud Men to be saved.

  Chapter 4: Narrow Escapes

  MUNICH

  Munich during working hours was like any other major city in the world: utterly congested. In spite of the U-Bahn, an efficient and comfortable rail system, the general population preferred the privacy and comfort of their own
cars, with the result that Artemis and Butler were stuck on the airport road in a rush-hour traffic jam that stretched all the way from the International Bank to the Kronski Hotel.

  Master Artemis did not like delays. But today he was too focused on his latest acquisition, The Fairy Thief, still sealed in its perspex tube. Artemis itched to open it, but the previous owners, Crane & Sparrow, could somehow have booby-trapped the container. Just because there were no visible traps didn’t mean that there couldn’t be an invisible one. An obvious trick would be to vacuum-pack the canvas, then inject a corrosive gas that would react with oxygen and burn the painting.

  It took almost two hours to reach the hotel, a journey that should have taken twenty minutes. Artemis changed into a dark cotton suit, then called up Fowl Manor’s number on his mobile phone’s speed dial. But before he connected, he linked the phone by firewire to his Powerbook so he could record the conversation. Angeline Fowl answered on the third ring.

  ‘Arty,’ said his mother, sounding slightly out of breath, as though she had been in the middle of something. Angeline Fowl did not believe in taking life easy, and was probably halfway through a Tai Bo workout.

  ‘How are you, Mother?’

  Angeline sighed down the phone line. ‘I’m fine, Arty, but you sound like you’re doing a job interview, as usual. Always so formal. Couldn’t you call me “Mum” or even

  “Angeline”? Would that be so terrible?’

  ‘I don’t know, Mother. “Mum” sounds so infantile. I am fourteen now, remember?’

  Angeline laughed. ‘How could I forget? Not many teenage boys ask for a ticket to a genetics symposium for their birthday.’

  Artemis had one eye on the perspex tube. ‘And how is Father?’

  ‘He is wonderful,’ gushed Angeline. ‘I am surprised how well he is. That prosthetic leg of his is marvellous, and so is his outlook. He never complains. I honestly think that he has got a better attitude towards life now than he had before he lost his leg. He’s under the care of a remarkable therapist. He says the mental is far more important than the physical. In fact, we leave for the private spa in Westmeath this evening. They use this marvellous seaweed treatment, which should do wonders for your father’s muscles.’

  Artemis Fowl Senior had lost a leg before his kidnap by the Russian Mafiya.

  Luckily Artemis had been able to rescue him with Butler’s help. It had been an eventful year. Since Artemis Senior’s return, he had been making good on his promise to turn over a new leaf and go straight. Artemis Junior was expected to follow suit but was having trouble abandoning his criminal ventures. Although sometimes, when he looked at his father and mother together, the idea of being a normal son to loving parents didn’t seem such a far-fetched one.

  ‘Is he doing his physiotherapy exercises twice a day?’

  Anpeline laughed again, and suddenly Artemis wished he were home.

  ‘Yes, Grandad. I am making sure of that. Your father says he’ll run the marathon in twelve months.’

  ‘Good, I’m glad to hear it. Sometimes I think you two would spend your time wandering around the grounds, holding hands, if I didn’t check up on you.’

  His mother sighed, a rush of static through the speaker. ‘I’m worried about you, Arty. Someone your age shouldn’t be quite so… responsible. Don’t worry about us, worry about school and friends. Think about what you really want to do. Use that big brain of yours to make yourself and other people happy. Forget the family business, living is the family business now.’

  Artemis didn’t know how to reply. Half of him wanted to point out that there really would be no family business if it weren’t for him secretly safeguarding it. The other half of him wanted to get on a plane home and wander the grounds with his family.

  His mother sighed again. Artemis hated the fact that just talking to him could make her worry.

  ‘When will you be home, Arty?’

  ‘The trip ends in three more days.’

  ‘I mean, when will you be home for good? I know Saint Bartleby’s is a family tradition, but we want you home with us. Principal Guiney will understand. There are plenty of good day schools locally.’

  ‘I see,’ said Artemis. Could he do it? he wondered. Just be part of a normal family.

  Abandon his criminal enterprises. Was it in him to live an honest life? ‘The holidays are in a couple of weeks. We can talk then,’ he said. Delaying tactics. ‘To be honest, I can’t concentrate now. I’m not feeling very well. I thought I might have food poisoning, but it turns out to be just a twenty-four-hour bug. The local doctor says I will be fine tomorrow.’

  ‘Poor Arty,’ crooned Angeline. ‘Maybe I should put you on a plane home.’

  ‘No, Mother. I’m feeling better already. Honestly.’

  ‘Whatever you like. I know bugs are uncomfortable, but it’s better than a dose of food poisoning. You could have been laid low for weeks. Drink plenty of water, and try to sleep.’

  ‘I will, Mother.’

  ‘You’ll be home soon.’

  ‘Yes. Tell Father I called.’

  ‘I will, if I can find him. He’s in the gym, I think, on the treadmill.’

  ‘Goodbye, then.’

  ‘Bye, Arty, we’ll talk more about this on your return,’ said Angeline, her voice low and slightly sad. Sounding very far away.

  Artemis ended the call and immediately replayed it on his computer. Every time he spoke to his mother he felt guilty. Angeline Fowl had a way of awakening his conscience. This was a relatively new development. A year ago he might have felt a tiny pinprick of guilt at lying to his mother, but now even this minor trick he was about to play would haunt his thoughts for weeks.

  Artemis watched the sound-wave meter on his computer screen. He was changing, no doubt about it. This kind of self-doubt had been increasing over the past several months… ever since he had discovered mysterious mirrored contact lenses in his own eyes one morning. Butler and Juliet had been wearing the same lenses. They had tried to find out where the lenses came from, but all that Butler’s contact in that field would say was that Artemis himself had paid for them. Curiouser and curiouser.

  The lenses remained a mystery. And so did Artemis’s feelings. On the table before him was Herve’s The Fairy Thief, an acquisition that established him as the foremost thief of the age, a status he had longed for since the age of six. But now that his ambition was literally in his grasp, all he could think about was his family.

  Is now the time to retire? he thought. Aged fourteen and three months, the best thief in the world. After all, where can I go from here? He replayed a section of the phone conversation: ‘Don’t worry about us, worry about school and friends. Think about what you really want to do. Use that big brain of yours to make yourself and other people happy.’

  Maybe his mother was right. He should use his talents to make others happy. But there was a darkness in him, a hard surface in his heart that would not be satisfied with the quiet life. Maybe there were ways to make people happy that only he could achieve.

  Ways on the far side of the law. Over the thin blue line.

  Artemis rubbed his eyes. He could not come to a conclusion. Perhaps living at home full time would make the decision for him. Best to continue with the job at hand.

  Buy some time, and then authenticate the painting. Even though he felt some guilt about stealing the masterpiece, it was not nearly enough to make him give it back.

  Especially to Messrs Crane & Sparrow.

  The first task was to deflect any enquiries from the school as to his activities. He would need at least two days to authenticate the painting, as some of the tests would need to be contracted out.

  Artemis opened an audio manipulation program on his Powerbook and set about cutting and pasting his mother’s words from the recorded phone call. When he had selected the words he wanted and had put them in the right order, he smoothed the levels to make the speech sound natural.

  When Principal Guiney turned on his mobile phone a
fter the visit to Munich’s Olympia Stadion, there would be a new message waiting for him. It would be from Angeline Fowl, and she would not be in a good mood.

  Artemis routed the call through Fowl Manor, then sent the edited sound file by infrared to his own mobile phone.

  ‘Principal Guiney,’ said the voice, unmistakably Angeline Fowl’s, which the caller ID would confirm, ‘I’m worried about Arty. He has a dose ofjood poisoning. His outlook is marvellous, he never complains but we want him home with us. You understand. I put Arty on a plane home. I am surprised he got a dose ojjood poisoning under jour care.

  We will talk more on jour return.’

  That took care of school for a few days. The dark half of Artemis felt an electric thrill at the subterfuge, but his growing conscience felt a tug of guilt at using his mother’s voice to weave his web of lies.

  He banished the guilt. It was a harmless lie. Butler would escort him home, and his education would not suffer through a few days’ absence. As for stealing The Fairy Thief, theft from thieves was not real crime. It was almost justifiable.

  Yes, said a voice in his head, unbidden. If you give the painting back to the world.

  No, replied his granite-hearted half. This painting is mine until someone can steal it away. That’s the whole point.

  Artemis banished his indecision and turned off his mobile phone. He needed to focus completely on the painting and a vibrating phone at the wrong moment could cause his hand to jitter. His natural inclination was to pop the stopper on the perspex tube’s lid. But that could be more than foolish, it could be fatal. There were any number of little gifts that Crane & Sparrow could have left for him.

  Artemis took a chromatograph from the rigid suitcase that contained his lab equipment. The instrument would take a sample of the gas inside the tube and process it. He chose a needle nozzle from a selection, screwing it on to the rubber tube protruding from the chromatograph’s flat end. He held the needle carefully in his left hand. Artemis was ambidextrous, but his left hand was slightly steadier. With care, he poked the needle through the tube’s silicone seal into the space round the painting. It was essential that the needle be moved as little as possible so that the container’s gas could not leak out and mingle with the air. The chromatograph siphoned a small sample of gas, sucking it into a heated injection port. Any organic impurities were driven off by heating, and a carrier gas transported the sample through a separation column and into a flame ionization detector. There, individual components were identified. Seconds later, a graph flashed up on the instrument’s digital readout. The percentages of oxygen, hydrogen, methane and carbon dioxide matched a sample taken earlier from downtown Munich. There was a five per cent slice of gas that remained unidentified. But that was normal. This was probably caused by complex pollution gases or equipment sensitivity.