THE HITWOMAN UNDER PRESSURE (Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman Book 15)

by JB Lynn

  “I still can’t believe that you caught the lizard with your butt.”

  “She didn’t catch me,” God said haughtily from his enclosure. “I controlled my descent and used her ample derriere as my landing pad.”

  “Better to be lucky than good, I guess,” I said to Zeke, getting to my feet and handing him the journal. “Darlene said this was important.”

  Zeke’s usual happy-go-lucky expression grew grim. He looked at the book he held with consternation. “If this is what I think it is, you shouldn’t even have it in the house. It’s a danger to everyone. I’ll deliver it right away.”

  He practically sprinted up the stairs in his haste to get away.

  “Interesting effect you have on men, sugar,” Piss drawled. “They either want to kiss you or run away from you.”

  “Don’t forget the ones that want to kill her,” God added.

  Who could forget those?

  Chapter 10

  Later, convinced that the rain had truly stopped, I clicked DeeDee’s leash on her and we went for a walk.

  It was late. The streets were dark and an eerie silence lurked around every corner. Almost immediately, I regretted my decision to venture out.

  DeeDee seemed oblivious to my mood and happily pulled me along from one clump of grass to another.

  I was a little more than a block from home when I saw two men in suits approaching. No one in this neighborhood normally wore suits, and no one out walking at that hour should have been wearing one.

  The bottom dropped out of my stomach as I realized they were probably Cyril Redcoat’s men. I tugged the leash hard to get the dog’s attention.

  “Trouble,” I muttered, glancing around to see if I’d be better off making a run for it or standing my ground.

  The safer thing might be to run, but if these were Redcoat’s goons, I didn’t want to bring them back to the B&B.

  Suddenly a car pulled between us and the men. The driver flicked on the high beams, momentarily blinding the suits.

  “Get in, Mags,” a familiar voice called.

  I didn’t need to hear the invitation a second time. I opened the rear door and DeeDee and I tumbled into the backseat.

  “Get down,” Patrick ordered.

  I ducked lower, hiding behind the seat, dragging DeeDee along with me.

  “What are you—”

  “Shhh.” He began to back up slowly.

  “What’s—?” I lifted my head to try to see the suits, but Patrick pushed me back down.

  “This would be easier if you’d stop acting like a jack-in-the-box.”

  I stayed down for another five minutes as he drove out of the neighborhood. I knew we were on the main drag in town when we picked up speed.

  “Okay, you can sit up now.”

  DeeDee jumped up before me and licked the back of his ear. “Patrick. Patrick.”

  “Easy girl,” he laughed, petting her with one hand while driving with the other.

  “Thank you,” I said, settling myself into the seat. “That’s twice today you saved my life.”

  He met my gaze in the rearview mirror. “Just happened to be at the right place at the right time.”

  “Now you sound like one of those weirdos who stalks his ex's every move,” I joked.

  He grinned, returning his attention to the road. “Okay, maybe I didn’t really have to go to your mom’s place when the call came over the radio this morning.”

  “And tonight?”

  “Delveccio’s worried about you. Seems to think Vinny’s got a grudge to settle. He told me not knowing we’re…”

  He paused, his eyes searching for mine in the mirror again. “What are we?”

  “Friends?” I offered hopefully. Sure we’d slept together, and no longer were, but the basis of our relationship had always been a partnership of sorts.

  He nodded. “I think I’d like that.”

  “Have you ever had a platonic relationship with a woman?” I couldn’t help but ask.

  He considered the question for a long moment. “Nope. But there’s a first time for everything, right?” Amusement and mischief tickled his tone as he pulled into a darkened parking lot.

  “That’s what I’ve heard,” I murmured.

  “So I took a ride by, thinking I might see Vinny and convince him to leave you alone, but instead I saw your new friends. Who are they?”

  “I can’t say.”

  He parked the car and turned to face me. “Can’t or won’t?”

  “Shouldn’t.”

  He studied me for a long moment. “Now what kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into?”

  I bit my lip, not wanting to lie to him, but not wanting to say anything that might put Darlene in more danger. “It’s complicated,” I said finally. “But I can promise you it has nothing to do with any of the Delveccios.”

  “Does it have to do with your father?”

  I shook my head.

  “Because he’s been spotted around town.”

  I sucked in a breath. My relationship with my con man/thief father was strained, especially after he’d broken my mother out of the hospital and left her in her current delusional state, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t care about him.

  “It’s got absolutely nothing to do with him,” I assured Patrick.

  “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

  “That’s supposed to be the truth you accept,” I told him firmly.

  He chuckled. “You’re certainly not the woman I first met, scared of her own shadow. You’ve grown up a lot.”

  “Think so?”

  He nodded. “Sometimes I think I liked that girl better.”

  “Me too,” I admitted tiredly.

  “Then again, I respect the hell out of the woman you’ve become,” he added. “Even though you’re a lot more stubborn.”

  “I’m still not telling you who the guys in suits are.”

  “I know.”

  Even though he wasn’t happy about it, the redhead didn’t push me any further on the identity of the suits. He took us home and left with, “If you need anything. Anything, Mags. I’ll be there.”

  He drove off into the darkness as DeeDee and I crept through the backyard to use the rear exit of the basement.

  “Margaret?” Aunt Susan called, practically giving me a heart attack. “Is that you?”

  “It’s us.” Changing course, DeeDee and I entered the B&B through the kitchen.

  Susan was leaning against the kitchen counter watching the stove. “Warm milk?” she offered.

  “No thanks,” I said.

  “Yes,” DeeDee panted.

  “Not for you,” I told her.

  Susan pulled the jar of dog biscuits she kept on the counter toward her and pulled one out. “Here you go.”

  She tossed it to the mutt who happily caught and devoured it in a single gulp.

  “You should chew your food,” Susan admonished. “You’re going to get indigestion from wolfing your food down. Chewing assists the digestion process.”

  “Okay,” DeeDee panted.

  Susan turned her attention to me. “I’ve made a decision.”

  “About what?”

  “Lawrence.”

  I nodded slowly. “And?”

  As much as I didn’t like the idea of a law enforcement family pairing with my own, I liked it even less that she’d turned down his marriage proposal. Marshal Lawrence Griswald was good for her. Hell, he was good for all of us.

  The dog’s gaze ricocheted between us like she was watching a tennis match.

  “It’s only right that I tell him first what I’ve decided.”

  “So what are you telling me?” I asked, thoroughly confused.

  “That I’ve made a decision.” She poured the milk in the pot into a mug.

  “You’re telling me that you’ve made a decision you haven’t told anyone?” I asked.

  “Exactly. Now go get some rest. There’s no telling what tomorrow holds.”

 
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I muttered as I entered the basement.

  Chapter 11

  What the next day held for me was a lot of leather and lace. I had to go to Aunt Loretta’s shop, The Corset.

  While I may have been ill-suited for my job taking automobile accident claims at Insuring the Future, at least I’d understood my job.

  At The Corset, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, which was why I cringed every time the tone went off that indicated someone had entered the store.

  “Sell, sell, sell!” God urged from his hiding spot in my bra.

  “Hush, hush, hush,” I told him, putting down the handful of lace thongs I’d been trying to sort.

  “Who are you talking to?” Zeke yelled from the back room. After delivering the diary, he’d resumed his duties as my personal shadow.

  “Good morning, chica,” Armani greeted with way too much cheer.

  “Morning, Armani,” Zeke yelled.

  “Hey there, handsome,” she shouted back. “Isn’t this a beautiful day?” she asked me.

  I eyed her suspiciously. “What’s got you in such a good mood?”

  “Time to win the lottery.”

  “Are you going to use your psychic powers to do that?”

  “Will you accuse me of cheating if I do?”

  I shook my head. I’d only been kidding, but apparently she took the suggestion seriously.

  “That’s because you don’t think I can do it, do you? You don’t believe I’ll pick the winning numbers.”

  I blinked, fighting the urge to physically back away from the challenge in her voice.

  “My powers are real. My predictions come true. You of all people should know that.” Her voice rose as she ranted.

  “I believe! I believe!” the unseen Zeke contributed, eliminating some of the tension.

  “Me too,” I admitted sheepishly.

  “So,” Armani declared, “today is the day. I just need you to tell me one thing.”

  “You want me to pick the numbers?” I gulped.

  “Of course not. I want you to decide where the road trip will take us.”

  “Someplace warm,” God suggested.

  Armani shook her head at my squeaking chest.

  “I’ve told you. I can’t—” I began to argue, but she walked out of the store, leaving me talking to myself.

  I returned my attention to the thongs, making a mental note that the store should also stock anti-chafing products.

  The damn door chimed again.

  I looked, not bothering to mask my annoyance. “What?”

  The man with long hair hesitated in the doorway.

  “Oh, hi!” I waved a handful of thongs at him. “Dave, right?” I rushed toward the man Darlene loved, the father of my other two nieces. “Come in. Come in.”

  He glanced around at his surroundings. “Nice place you’ve got here.”

  “It’s not mine,” I hurriedly assured him. Realizing I was still clutching underthings, I threw them across the room as though they had cooties. Yeah, I can be mature.

  A baby pink one got caught on the nose of the mannequin that modeled a black leather bondage ensemble.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked, worried because he looked kind of shell-shocked.

  He nodded slowly. “This is all a lot to taken in.”

  “Try working here.”

  “I’d rather not.”

  I chuckled. “We never really got the proper introductions. I’m Maggie.” I held out my hand.

  He took it and shook it politely. “Dave.”

  “Nice to meet you, Dave. What can I do for you?”

  “Actually, I’m here to see Zeke.”

  “He’s in the back,” I told him before bellowing, “Zeke! You’ve got company.”

  He didn’t answer.

  “Zeke?” I yelled again, trying not to panic at his lack of response.

  He groaned.

  I started to rush toward the back, but Dave grabbed my arm.

  Pulling out a gun, he whispered, “Stay behind me.”

  Together we crept toward the back of the store.

  Zeke groaned again.

  When we reached the rear of the store, we saw him lying on the ground. While Dave checked to make sure there was no one around, I looked after Zeke.

  “What happened?” I whispered.

  “I have a lump the size of a dinosaur egg on the back of my head.” Zeke struggled into a sitting position with my support. “I’m guessing someone hit me.”

  Examining the swelling at the base of his skull, I had to agree with his assessment. “You didn’t see him?”

  “Didn’t see him. Didn’t hear him. One minute I’m fine and the next I’m waking up on a carpet that smells like strawberry body lubricant.”

  “You okay, man?” Dave asked, crouching down beside us.

  “I am the world’s worst bodyguard,” Zeke moaned.

  “Nothing happened to me,” I assured him. “I’m fine, so you must be doing something right.”

  “No,” Dave corrected. “He’s right. He sucks at bodyguard duty.”

  I punched his shoulder. “Way to hit a guy when he’s down,” I admonished.

  Dave threw back his head and laughed. “You are way more like your sister than I imagined.” He turned his attention to Zeke. “Come on, buddy. Let’s get you on your feet.”

  Together, we got the swaying woozily Zeke into a standing position.

  “Maybe I should take him to the hospital,” I suggested.

  “No hospital,” Zeke protested weakly.

  “I’ll follow you there,” Dave said.

  Together we got Zeke out to Aunt Leslie’s car. When I opened the passenger door, a wave of sickeningly sweet odor rushed out.

  “What’s this?” Dave asked, wrinkling his nose. “The pot mobile?”

  “It’s my aunt’s,” I explained as he lowered Zeke into the seat, taking care that he didn’t hit his head.

  “Must be Leslie,” Dave remarked.

  I felt a twinge of jealousy that he seemed to know everything about us, but we knew nothing about him.

  “No hospital,” Zeke said again.

  Ignoring him, I buckled the seatbelt around him as Dave hurried off to his own car.

  “The stench,” God groaned.

  For once I didn’t think he was overreacting.

  Rolling down the windows, before the smell could make Zeke feel any worse, I started driving toward the hospital. In the rearview mirror I saw Dave fall into line behind us.

  Realizing he’d never stated the reason for his visit, I wonder why he’d shown up and whether Zeke’s attacker had meant to come after me, but backed off when he’d realized Dave was there.

  The thought frightened me.

  I felt even more unsafe when Dave pulled away after I’d pulled up to the entrance of the emergency room, but I understood he had to lay low.

  I just wished I could do the same.

  Chapter 12

  Despite Zeke’s continued protestations, after a few hours, he was admitted to the hospital for observation.

  “If the angle had been slightly different, it could have easily been a fatal blow,” the ER doctor told me.

  That’s when I called Brian Griswald to report the assault. Not that I expected him to catch the attacker, but I knew he’d immediately inform his uncle and Marshal Griswald would be on high alert to keep the rest of my family safe.

  After Zeke had been moved up to a room I left him, promising to return with a change of clothes that didn’t smell like strawberry lube.

  Instead of going straight home, I headed to another wing of the hospital, the one where Tony/Anthony Delveccio’s grandson was recovering.

  Gino, the bodyguard, was sitting outside Dominic’s room when I arrived. Seeing me approach, he got to his feet, stuck his head in the room to say something, and offered me a smile. “How ya doin?”